Youngjae found himself sitting in the living room, watching the same Harry Potter marathon from yesterday. This time a bowl of popcorn sat on his lap and he shoveled the buttery goodness into his mouth. After refusing his mom's offer of breakfast, he sank further into the sofa. 

His phone chimed to alert him that he received a new message. He didn't have to check to know that it was Jaebum. Since last night on his way home, Jaebum kept constantly messaging him. It went on even after he feel asleep. When he woke up, he noticed that the last message was sent at 3:15 a.m. and they just started up again at 11:25 a.m. Of course he ignored all of them, he had read them up until the fourth message but he didn't reply. 

He groans in frustration when it dawns on him that he's no longer anger at Jaebum. He hadn't been for a long while now. He's just letting his pride get the best of him. His feelings for Jaebum are far better than feeling hatred or disappointed in him. He always never understood why people went or stayed with those who treated them unfairly. But here he is, hung up on a guy who may not even like him as much as he does. 

He would call Yugyeom to ask what he should do, but his younger friend was very serious about cutting off Jaebum. And Bambam's still in Thailand and he doesn't want to disturb the younger from his family's situation. 

"Yo lil bro, you still watching this?" Youngjae's brother came in and took the remote from him. Youngjae rolled his eyes and questioned why his brother would ask if he was still watching TV, if he was going to take it anyways. His brother slumped on the couch and flipped through the channels. Youngjae stayed where he was on the sofa and stared at the TV but not listening to what his brother put on. 

"What's bothering you, Youngjae?" His brother asked after twenty minutes into the movie. Youngjae looked at his brother, surprised that he seemed to have understood something was the matter. 

"Why do you ask?" Youngjae and his brother don't really speak to each other. They don't have the same interests and his brother is usually with his girlfriend.

"Because your phone keeps chiming which I assume means that you have a message. And you look at it but don't respond to the person," his brother said, "so what's the problem?" Youngjae contemplates if he should tell his brother. He knows his brother accepts his uality, but he's never spoken about it to him since the day he came out. 

"Is this about a guy?" His brother asked. Youngjae hesitated but nodded his head eventually. "What happened?" Youngjae hesitated again but explained what he's already said plus the new information about the night before. 

"So now you're in a delima of what you should do?" His brother asked. 

Youngjae nodded, "what is you think I should do?" 

"Well I think you should forget about him, but then that just makes me a hypocrite." His brother answered. 

"Why?" Youngjae asked. 

"I was in a similar situation with Sohee when we first started dating. I'm not her first boyfriend or any of her firsts actually, but I still liked her. I had liked her for a long time and I was elated when she agreed to date me. But seven months after dating, i walked in on her making out with another guy at a party." 

"I was kissed and didn't speak to her for weeks. I ignored her texts and calls and I was for sure going to break up with her but then I thought of all the good times we had. And at the point of our relationship, I realized I was in love with her. After thinking things over and over, I decided to forgive her. I also told her I loved her and she too, said that she loved me as well. But she was scared because she had never loved anyone before."

"But you didn't kiss some other girl though," Youngjae didn't know about his brother's relationship. He thought it had been all lovey dovey form the start. 

"True, but realizing that you love another human being can be terrifying. You don't want to give the other person everything you have in fear of it going horribly wrong. But we talked things over and now we're going on three years and I couldn't b