The moment you knew your heart will break

She’s sitting there at the usual spot where we’re always sat together talking about my day, her day, my dreams, her dreams…

Dreams that slowly became ours.

But today, there will be no conversation about it anymore,

I know what she’ll said.

I know this is goodbye.

I walked slowly, trying to stretch time as much as I could, but eventually I reached the table.

“Hey…” she lifted her face and slightly smiling.

I sat across her.

“Jiyong oppa…” she said.

"Hey..." i said.

"How are you?" she chuckles.

"Like we haven't met for a long time, Chae."

She continue chuckling.

"I called you everyday."

"Oh right..." she said.

"You're my girlfriend." i said, tried to remind her from i don't know what.

"Yes, about that..."

“Don’t.” I said.

“W-what?”

“Don’t speak.”

She sighed.

“Oppa…”

“Don’t speak, Chae, please!” I raised my voice. “I know what you’re gonna say. And I don’t want you to say it, I don’t want this to end. No!”

I saw her hands trembling, either she’s hold the urge to cry or hold the urge to slap me in the face. Both are make sense.

““I’m sorry, Chae, that’d be the last time.” I said.

“Of course. Cause later there will be no more me for you to fooled.”

“Chaerin!”

it was started few years a go when I decided that we should be something more than friends, i always like her and i know she had a crush on me, Chaerin was dissagree with my decision, but I keep on convince her that this will be the best. I mean, how it won’t be the best? After everyone saw what I saw in us, we’re so compatible to each other, we’ll be the hottest star couple. She said I’m not ready for a serious relationship because my career in Big Bang is about to get bigger and with all recognition I get later, will I still be the same. I was so sure that I will.

And we proved it, we became the hottest and most succesful star couple in industry. But I can’t fulfil the other promise, I am not the same anymore.

As I became big with Big Bang, with all recognition I get, I got dragged away from her. All girls wants me, and the last issue was I caught in a photo drunk in club with a girl sitting on my lap.

And this is not the first time.

But this is the first time Chaerin confront.

Thought I can handle her anger, we were fighting several times till I know we both tired. And when she said she needs space from me, that time I realized

That I was scared.

“Don’t yell, oppa, people will looking at us.”

“Chae, let’s get outta here, let’s talk at your place or my place.” I said.

“No, better we talk in public space.” She replied.

“Chae, people are looking at us, I don’t want them to take pocture of us fighting.”

“Are we fighting now?”

“No, but soon.”

“Why would we fight later?” she asked again, “We don’t even have anything worth the fight anymore.”

“Chae, please…” I pleaded, “Let’s go back to your place.”

“No…” she said.

She didn’t buy it, she probably done with it. Everytime we fight and I’m cornered, I always end up hugging and kissing her hard, we’ll end up in bed as a make up , and now as I see her stay in her feet, I know this is final.

I took her hand but she slowly release it.

“Even I can’t hold your hand anymore?”

She smiles.

“I love you, only you, and you know that.” I said.

She keeps on smiling