Liefdesverdriet

(n.) the sadness, depression or pain one feels

       about a love unanswered or love that is gone

Oh Hayoung found her long lost diary piled with the other books she forgot to read in a medium-sized box made of lightweight material she made herself. Like the others, dust covered the edge of the pages, but it stood out among the rest with its loose back cover, ready to fall off. She wiped and blew away the dust which almost made her sneeze. Seeing and holding it again brought back to life nostalgic memories she thought she had already burried to death. The diary looked fragile; so were its contents.

It’s been 5 years since she stopped writing in her diary. She actually thought she left it at the residence she used to stay at in the university. Now it found its place on her hands again. The familiar writing of her 24-year-old self – clean and in tiny letters – in the cover. “Miss Oh’s. Fashion and Design Major. Please return to room 412 of Oak Residences.”

Hesitation caused her to put down the little notebook on the box. She remembers her entries all too clearly, specifically her last entries about him. She remembered the reason why she stopped writing all together. And that’s why she hesitated – because going through that again might cause her to want to find him like she did 5 years ago.

Entry #167

He talked to me again. That guy. Must be because I’m cousins with the Jung sisters. I should’ve just said that I’m not close to them, not even a little bit, so that I didn’t have to hear him babbling on and on about our Physics assignment. I hate that subject. He didn’t stop until the professor entered the room.

I didn’t think he’d be talkative since I only have two classes with him and I haven’t seen him talking to others for that matter.

God, when is Joy going to be discharged from the hospital? I miss her. TT

Entry #170

Joy’s been discharged yesterday so hopefully she’d attend her classes today. That’s what I thought early in the morning, and she was discharged and she sat next to me. However, as we were busy chit-chatting I didn’t notice him enter the room and sit next to me right before the professor entered. Joy raised her eyebrows at me, obviously sending me the question of ‘Who’s that?’ and ‘Do you know him?’. I deliberately shook my head and whispered to her that I’d explain later. What I found weird was the guy sat silently unlike the other day.

During lunch, I told Joy how he started talking to me all of a sudden the first day she had been rushed to the hospital. I really don’t know him and he hasn’t introduced himself either. When Joy wondered if he’s an admirer of mine I shot her down, telling her that I’m pretty sure it’s because of my very popular cousins.

Joy flicked me in the forehead for being so pessimistic when it comes to my “beauty”. My forehead still hurts right now.

Yet somehow she found herself grabbing the notebook and scanning the contents of its pages. After several years not knowing where he went, she got used to breathing without him because she has to. She’s got to. At first it seemed impossible, but gradually she stopped thinking about him and started getting busy with her job – getting fired for the first time, at her job interviews, getting hired, being promoted, getting a raise, and so on and so forth. Life doesn’t stop even when she wanted it to. “Time waits for no one.” A quote from the animation film ‘The Girl Who Leapt Through Time’, one of her favorites. Time really doesn’t wait for anyone