Merry Christmas! Here's the long awaited update. It's lengthy. You've been warned. 

“Ugghhhh.”

Feeling the dryness on her tongue Jessica quickly closed as she slowly regained consciousness. She smacked her lips together a couple of times for good measure to get rid of the gross taste of morning breath. Groaning, she opened one eye and instantly recoiled at the sting of bright light.

 

Squinting against the sun peeking in through the tall windows, Jessica realized she’d fallen asleep in a cubicle at the library. (She wasn’t too surprised. This wouldn’t have been her first time.) Books and paper were strewn messily all over the desk. Her tired face reflected on the blank screen of her now dead laptop stared back at her.

 

Etched in the skin of her arms were the imprints of the table and papers she slept so soundly on. Sitting up straight, Jessica gently plucked her earphones off her ears and stretched her arms, still fighting off the call of sleep.

 

Her muscles ached from having slept in such an uncomfortable position - body scrunched and bent over a wheely chair - and were continuously sore from her extra ballet and figure skating practices.

 

Letting out a sigh, Jessica clicked the home button on her phone to check the time only to stare at the unchanging black screen

 

Great. So her phone was dead too. That would explain why there was no sound coming out of her earphones earlier.

 

Quickly pulling out the charger from her bag, she plugged in her phone and waited impatiently for it to turn back on. She took the time to quickly organize the messy papers on the desk. She’d fallen asleep while studying for her sports statistics midterm...which happened to be today.

 

‘The recital is tonight too.’

 

Jessica sighed once more as she leaned her head back down onto the table. Her head pounded from stress, lack of sleep and dehydration. She was already ready for this day to end.

 

There was a flicker of light as her phone screen lit up and Jessica nearly had a heart attack as she peeked over to look at the time.

 

‘8:23am?! My final’s at nine! I’m late!’

 

“.”

 

Scrambling, she shoved everything into her backpack, not caring if her papers got crumpled in the process, and bolted for the exit.

 

‘Okay, there’s no time for a shower, but there is time for coffee.’ And she really needed coffee.

 

Picking up her pace, Jessica sped walked to Soshi cafe, her favorite coffee shop on campus.

 

Noticing the long line at the register as soon as she stepped in, Jessica immediately groaned inwardly.

 

‘Why are there so many people? Ugh.’

 

Tapping her foot impatiently while she waited in line, Jessica took the spare time to fix her clothes (the same ones from yesterday) and her hair as best as she could, using her phone as her only means of a mirror.

 

‘I feel so gross right now.’

 

Discreetly, Jessica sniffed herself.

 

‘I hope I don’t smell too bad. I didn’t even get to brush my teeth.’

 

Jessica bit back a yawn as she felt another wave of dizziness hit her. These past weeks have been nearly torturous for her. The triple combination of having extra ballet rehearsals, secret skating practices at night, and studying for midterms in between had exhausted her physically and mentally to no end. In the end, she had to sacrifice the one thing she loved most, her beloved sleep.

 

By the time Jessica walked out of Soshi Cafe with a caramel latte in hand, it was already 8:46am. Unfortunately for her, the testing location was all the way across campus.

 

‘Guess I’m running.’

 

Jessica managed to slip into the classroom at 8:57am, panting from her sprint, but relieved knowing that she’d made it in time and hadn’t spilled any of her coffee. She quickly took a seat and pulled out her things, missing the worried look Nana gave her from across the room.

 

Once settled, Jessica took a deep breath, relaxing her mind.

 

First hurdle of the day - the midterm.

 

 

 

 

Jessica rechecked her work once, twice, three times, making sure she hadn’t missed anything before standing up to hand it in. Despite still having half an hour left, she couldn’t spare wasting any more time on this midterm. She did all she could do and silently hoped that she didn’t fail. She still had so much to do today.

 

On her way out, she peeked back into the classroom and saw Nana still hunched over her desk with her eyebrows burrowed in frustration and concentration.

 

Mentally wishing her friend a quick ‘good luck’, Jessica left and headed straight for the ballet studio.

 

 

 

 

“Oh, you’re here already?” Yoona asked, brightening up as Sooyeon stepped into the locker rooms. She’d immediately noticed how unkempt the older girl’s appearance was but decided wisely not to comment on it. “How was your midterm, Unnie?” she asked sympathetically as she finished changing.

 

Jessica glanced tiredly at the younger girl, unfazed by the full on display of Yoona’s bare stomach. They’d long gotten used to seeing each other in various states of undress. “It was okay. I don’t think I failed too badly, so that’s something.”

 

Yoona smiled understandingly as she turned around fully and regarded Sooyeon’s figure. The girl looked absolutely worn out, from the dark bags that hung from the top of her cheeks, to her disheveled hair and gloomy eyes.

 

However, Yoona knew that in a few hours, everything would change. Once the curtains opened, and the lights , there wouldn’t be a single hair out of place on Sooyeon’s head. The stage allowed no room for any signs of weakness. This was the cruel world they performed in.

 

“You ready for the recital tonight?” Yoona asked brightly, changing the topic, as she folded her clothes before placing them neatly inside her locker. She donned a mock outfit of the Aurora costume that she was going to be wearing tonight for the recital.

 

Jessica groaned as she dropped her bag on the bench and opened her locker. “Hopefully. I just want it to be over at this point.”

 

“Aww, does someone need a hug?” Yoona grinned mischievously before stalking closer with her hands out.

 

Jessica immediately held her hands out in defense, preventing the younger girl from getting any closer. “Trust me, you don’t want to touch me. I haven’t showered in two days.”

 

“What? You know you have to perform in front of like more than a thousand people tonight, right?” Yoona paused, wrinkling her nose in distaste but still launched herself at the blonde. “Like that’s going to stop me. Come here Sooyeon Unnie~”

 

“Nooooooooo,” Jessica whined, but put in little effort to fight against the bone crushing hug. “Get off me you Alligator. I need to shower.”

 

“I can shower you in kisses!” Yoona proposed teasingly before closing her eyes and puckering her lips.

 

Jessica shrieked as Yoona’s lips came closer to her cheek. “Gross! Why are you so clingy?” She hurriedly put her hand up to block Yoona’s advances.

 

“Whyyyyyy? Let me kwiss you,” Yoona muffled under Jessica’s firm hand.

 

“No sane person would let an alligator kiss them,” Jessica remarked dryly, still struggling to get away from the girl’s lips and tight hold. The young principal ballerina had been oddly clingier to her these past few weeks, always looking for an excuse to hang onto Jessica or attack her with smothering kisses.

Suddenly the door opened and Nana stepped in before freezing and skeptically eyeing the scene in front of her, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “What the hell are you guys doing?”

 

Yoona grinned at her understudy, ignoring the pointed glare she was receiving. “Acting out the kiss scene between Aurora and Prince Eric. Do you want to rehearse it with Sooyeon Unnie too? In case something happens and you have to go on stage for me…” Yoona wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

 

To her amusement, Nana flushed bright red. Jessica, being her usual dense self, of course missed this detail.

 

“I’m not even playing Prince Eric though,” Jessica mumbled to herself in confusion. Yoona took this opportunity to quickly sneak in a quick peck on her cluelessly dense Unnie before running away chuckling.

 

“Hehe got you, my Prince!” Yoona joked before heading out of the locker room.

 

“Yah!” Jessica shouted after the choding. She turned to look at Nana who looked lost in thought.

“Yo, you okay?” she asked as Nana blinked out of her stupor.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Nana refocused her gaze back onto the blonde. “Sorry, the midterm really tired me out,” she lied. Of course she wasn’t imagining kissing Jessica. That would be ridiculous.

 

Jessica eyed her friend weirdly. “Okayyy...Well I’m going to go shower. You coming?”

 

“What?!” Nana burst out uncharacteristically, her face turning red as images of Jessica in the shower flooded her mind. Had she heard her wrongly?

 

“What?” Jessica questioned. “You think I didn’t notice that you’re also wearing your clothes from last night? You pulled an all nighter too, right? Don’t you want to shower?” Jessica gestured toward the shower room with a raised eyebrow, wondering why Nana was acting weird.  

 

Nana blinked to her senses. “Ah, r-right. That’s what you meant. Y-yeah. I’m coming. Just give me a second to grab my stuff.” She quickly turned around and slammed her locker open.

 

‘Nana, get a grip on yourself! What are you thinking, you ert. This is Sooyeon we’re talking about. Stop being such a weirdo.’

 

“Okay, well I’m going in first, then,” Nana heard Sooyeon call out from behind her.

 

“O-okay!”

 

Nana took a deep breath.

 

‘I need a cold shower now.’

 

 

 

 

Jessica sat with her eyes closed on the wooden floor of the ballet studio. Her body went through the motions of stretching, long sketched into her unconcious. Not too far away, the two main leads as well as the other soloists and their understudies were also warming up.

 

The smell of shampoo from her still slightly damped hair calmed her mind. For the first time in two days, Jessica felt clean. And with that cleanliness, came a sort of lightness that accompanied her mind and body.

 

No one spoke in the studio  and Jessica preferred it this way. Everyone was tense. The show was finally tonight. Jessica could feel the nervous energy rolling off the other dancers, especially the first years since this was their very first recital with the renowned SM ballet troupe.

 

It didn’t help that their principal dancer, Im Yoona, happened to be one of the most famous and sought after ballerinas in Asia and worldwide. To even be dancing on the same stage as her must have been a lot of pressure.

 

Jessica was used to this pressure. Once upon a time, it felt like the her whole life’s purpose was determined in a mere two minutes.

 

But that was then. If she failed back then, it would’ve been her failure alone. If she failed today, she would tarnish the name of SM’s ballet troupe and SM.

 

Today, she danced for SM, for her coach, for Yoona, but mostly, for herself - for an end and a beginning.

 

 

 

 

“Well, well,” Yuri whistled as she ran into her new teammates outside of the auditorium where tonight’s ballet rehearsal was being held. “Don’t you all look dressed up.”

 

Tiffany, Taeyeon, Seohyun, and Joohyun all smiled at her in greeting. Unlike their usual attire of leggings or sweatpants combined with a sports jacket and running shoes, they all donned fancy dresses that showed off their athletic physique and heels that exposed their toned legs.

 

“It’s a special occasion after all,” Tiffany shrugged, grinning widely, eyeing the formal wear that the other members of the audience wore. She loved any excuse to dress up and was excited to be back in heels. She’d been banned from them after she almost twisted her ankle that one time and had to promise Coach Yuna to only wear them on important occasions.

 

“You look good too, Yuri,” Taeyeon nodded at the tan girl who was wearing a pantsuit.

 

Yuri glanced down, pulling slightly at the v line that dipped down to her s. “Thanks. I feel a little weird though. I guess I’m just too used to my sneakers and my sweatpants. I feel out of my element here.”

 

“Nonsense, you look fine, Yuri,” Tiffany nudged the girl playfully. “Nice flowers by the way. Are they for Jessi?” she asked, nodding towards the white lilies.

 

Yuri brought the bouquet of flowers to her nose. “Yeah, these are her favorite,” she smiled softly. “Krystal gave these to me to give to Jessica in case she couldn’t make it today. I hope she does. I wouldn’t want her to miss her sister’s recital”

 

“They’re beautiful,” Seohyun stated, referring to the flowers.

 

“Agreed,” Tiffany added. “Now come on. I believe we have a show to catch!”

 

The five girls presented their tickets to the ushers and found their way to the seats. As they were settling in, Seohyun noticed a familiar looking face sitting just a few rows in front of them.

 

“Hey, isn’t that Coach?” she asked, pointing towards the woman. The four girls looked up in that direction.

 

“It is,” Taeyeon stated frowning. “What is Unnie doing here? I didn’t know she was coming. I don’t think she’s ever been to an SM ballet recital before.”

 

“We should go over and say hi,” Yuri stated as she got up and walked over. The other girls followed her example.

 

“Hey Coach!” Yuri greeted as they neared the older woman.

 

Yuna looked up from where she was talking to a very familiar looking girl.

 

“Oh, hey kids,” she greeted her students who all greeted her back. “You all look very pretty,” she complimented. She then gestured to the woman next to her and Yuri’s eyes widened in realization as she figured out why the petite woman seemed familiar.

 

“Say hi to Mao,” said Yuna, smiling at the woman. The five girls hurriedly bowed, just realizing they were in the presence of another senior skater and Yuna’s famed rival back in the day.

 

“These are my students here,” Yuna explained to Mao. “That one’s my sister. You remember Taeyeon, right?”

 

Mao nodded. Her bright red lipstick accented her pretty smile. “Ah, Taeyeon, you’ve grown so much. Nice to meet the rest of you girls too.”

 

“Thank you, Asada sunbaenim,” Taeyeon bowed before turning to her sister. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

 

Yuna sent her sister a smile. “I wasn’t planning to, but I suddenly received an invitation from the director of the ballet troupe basically demanding me to come. She gave me free tickets to the best seats in the house so I couldn’t refuse. It’s been a while since I’ve seen ballet,” she admitted truthfully.

 

“That’s weird,” Taeyeon remarked, eyeing her sister. “Why would the director want you here so badly?”

 

Yuna shrugged. “I have no idea, but I’m not going to complain at a free night of entertainment.”

 

“The show is starting soon,” Mao cut in as the lights started to dim. “Why don’t you girls go back to your seats.”

 

The girls nodded and bid the two women goodbye before finding their way back to their own seats.

 

“Oh god, I’m excited to see Jessi dance again,” Tiffany exhaled under her breath, feeling nervous and giddy for some reason.

 

“Same, I heard she has a solo this time too,” Yuri wiggled in her seat in anticipation.

 

“And I’m sure Joohyun here is excited to see her Seulgi, no?” Tiffany teased the younger girl who blushed at her words but remained mum. Yuri and Tiffany giggled to each other at the cuteness of their junior before the lights suddenly went out, leaving only a spotlight on stage.

 

The show was about to begin.

 

 

 

 

Alone in the dressing room backstage, Jessica applied some last touches to her makeup. Staring at herself in the mirror, Jessica barely recognized the girl who stared back. The makeup looked so familiar and yet so foreign.

 

This would be her first time onstage as a principal. The irony that it was most likely her last time on stage as well was not lost on Jessica.

 

The door opened, breaking her out of her thoughts. Jessica glanced over to see who her visitor was.

“Director,” she greeted the woman, surprised to see her hear. Usually, the director stayed within the wings allowing her to monitor and keep an eye on the show as it progressed.

 

“Sooyeon,” the retired prima donna and seasoned coach walked towards her newest star. She picked up the blush and brush sitting on the counter as she made her way over. Jessica sat still as the woman fussed over her makeup, perfecting her look before she went on stage.

 

“Is something the matter?” she asked, worried that something had happened. Otherwise why would Director Lee come see her personally?

 

“No, why would you ask that?” responded the woman, as she finished touching up Jessica’s makeup. “There, perfect.” She moved out of the way, letting Jessica see herself in the mirror. “Beautiful.”

 

Jessica didn’t blush at the compliment like she normally would’ve. For some reason, it sounded heavy, like it was ladened with unspoken words.

 

Director Lee patted her twice on the shoulder. “You will be amazing tonight, Sooyeon-ah. The audience will be blown away by you.” She suddenly leaned in, whispering into Jessica’s ears. “And who knows, if you do well enough, you might even find yourself with more opportunities to dance. Perhaps you’ll even find a place at the Bolshoi.”

 

With that, the woman left the dressing room, leaving Jessica alone in her thoughts once more. She wanted to laugh.

 

The Bolshoi.

 

It was one of the most renowned ballet troupes in the world and every ballerina’s dream to be able to dance there. It was an opportunity almost unheard of especially among the more Asian dancers. There was no way Jessica would be able to dance there. The mere thought of it was hilarious and absurd. What a weird way for Director Lee to cheer her on. Sure she understood that the Director wanted to see her dance more, but to say that she’d be able to dance at Bolshoi? Please, the only person capable of that here would be the one and only Im Yoona. Jessica wouldn't’ be able to even dream of such a stage.

 

She didn’t dream of such a stage.

 

It didn’t suit her.

 

A knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts. A stage manager peeked her head in timidly.

 

“Act two is starting soon,” she informed the ballerina with her eyes cast to the ground. “They need you in the wings.”

 

Jessica nodded and the girl scurried away hastily, still not looking Jessica in the eye, and busied herself with whispering orders into her headset. Jessica took one last look at her reflection before leaving.

 

Tonight, Jung Sooyeon debuted as a principal ballerina in the SM Ballet Troupe.

 

 

 

 

Jessica managed to catch the last few minutes of the first act from backstage. Yoona glistened and glowed like she always did on stage. The girl was a perfect Aurora - the very embodiment of beauty and everything good in the world - a true princess. The smile on her face stayed perfect and unwavering, even amidst the most difficult of jumps and maneuvers.

 

The lights dimmed and the curtains drew to a close. In the dark, Jessica watched and listened as the two principal dancers ran off stage. Yoona jogged into the wings, and upon noticing Jessica in wait, shot her an encouraging smile despite her drenched and sweaty self.

 

The stage hands immediately handed Yoona and her partner a towel and water, which they took gratefully. After dabbing her face and body carefully so as to not mess up her makeup, Yoona took two quick gulps. Two. No more, no less.

 

“You ready?” Yoona whispered, and Jessica could hear she was still catching her breath. Jessica watched the way Yoona’s chest heaved up and down from the exertion on stage before giving a slight nod.

 

Yoona’s grin widened. “Break a leg.”

 

No sooner had she finished her words, the curtains opened once more. Act two had started.

 

Jessica took a deep breath and stepped out from the dark into the blinding spotlight. She caught Director Lee nodding at her hidden in the shadows of the wings just as she made her first steps onto the stage.

 

 

 

The usher stared at the strange girl standing by the door in the very back of the theatre. The girl was young, probably a student at SM by the looks of it, but there was something about the way she held herself, or maybe it was the way she dressed and did her makeup - so sophisticated and chic - that made the usher just a little nervous about approaching her.

 

However, seeing as it was his job, he gulped down his uneasiness and approached the girl as the curtains closed signaling the end of the first act. She was the type of girl that would have made him nervous all throughout high school and college just by existing. Guess, he hadn’t changed much in thirteen years, huh?

 

“’Mam, do you need help finding your seat?” he asked kindly.

 

The girl turned to look at him, and he tried his best not to gulp at the sharp gaze.

 

“That’s alright. I’m perfectly fine right here,” she responded coolly before focusing back onto the stage.

 

The usher was starting to sweat at this point. Oh why oh why couldn’t she just go sit in her seat and not make his job hard for him?

 

“Can I see your ticket ‘mam?” he asked as per the rules.

 

The girl turned to him once more and this time the usher did gulp in nervousness because was it him or was that a flicker of annoyance that just flashed across her face.

 

The girl flashed the ticket between her index and middle finger.

 

The usher quickly scanned and upon confirming that the ticket was indeed real, decided his job was done and bowed to the girl. “Hope you enjoy the rest of the show ‘mam,” he managed to say before