Hello, Beautiful People! I have returned, and I'm douchier than ever :-P Life got busy again with final assignments and grappling over how to re-work the last two chapters of this story. But I'm back and hopefully you'll get something really sweet as a reward for your patience :-) Enjoy!

And just like that, both Joy and Irene were suddenly gone from my life, like wisps of smoke which flew too close to an air vent, impartially snuffed out in milliseconds.

I would love to say that I dealt marvellously under the pressure and rallied on exuberantly. But that’s just a fairy-tale, isn’t it? All that talk about bravery and valiant behaviour is for people who don’t actually live in reality. And the reality is that heartbreak doesn’t always make you stronger.

Sometimes, it knocks you down.

Hard.

That’s what happened to me for a time. I had to move out of my apartment and find a smaller place because it no longer made sense to pay double the rent when I occupied only one of the two bedrooms. And I didn’t feel like going through the whole shtick of finding a new roommate and getting to know someone else all over again. As Drake, the great philosopher, once said, ‘No new friends.’ Maybe that seems peculiar, but that’s just how I’m wired. I may know a lot of people and even befriend them to an extent, but I only tend to have a few close friends that I actually open up to.

So when I got promoted to a somewhat better position at my job two months later, I finally moved to a one-bedroom apartment located in Herald Square along Broadway, Sixth Avenue and 34^th St. The rent was a little steep, but I managed with my new pay raise. I didn’t have that many other expenses, which helped in a lot of ways. And I tried my hardest to move on from Irene and all of the mistakes of the past year.

But it wasn’t easy.

Besides going to work and basically existing on a daily basis, I led a pretty solitary life. My neighbours were quite decent folk and I got to know a few of them over several months. But I rarely went out for a drink or to the movies with anyone, except for the rare occasions when Sehun managed to twist my arm. I spent most of my time in my apartment either living on Netflix and vegetating or working like crazy on a new creative writing project on my laptop.

And I played on my electronic piano whenever I had a free moment, letting the music heal me from deep within as my fingers moved over the keys. Every time I played certain songs, they inevitably reminded me of Irene: her voice, her smile, her scent, her touch. Everything about her was permanently embedded in my mind, drifting through the white and black keys with familiar jadedness.

It was close to a year before I finally became sane enough to even mention Irene’s name in passing with some of our old acquaintances any time I ran into them in the city. The ache in my chest was still rampant, but gradually reduced to a small pang whenever I thought about her. And then as abruptly as it had started in the first place, I began to think less about Irene as time progressed. I still missed her a lot, but the loss grew less in its intensity the more I threw myself into my work and into my writing. Most days, it was incredibly lonely; but I sustained myself somehow with optimistic thoughts about a project that I could attach some significance to when it was finally completed. I was slowly weaning myself of my attachment to Irene altogether. Absence makes the heart grow fonder; but in my case, it strengthened my resolve and helped my heart to heal in the long-term.

And through a series of chance encounters with a few of my neighbours, I began accepting more invitations to go to their apartments and attended a few house parties, mingling with people my age. I was gradually coming out of my self-imposed exile bit by bit. It was uncomfortable at first with me being quite the introvert. But I progressed as much as I could in this respect and began making a few new friends. I still saw some of the old crowd every now and then and it was always great to catch up. But I was already beginning to realise that I was moving on in more ways than one where my life was concerned.

I even started dating again. I went on a couple of blind dates set up for me by various colleagues and a couple of group dates along with some of my new friends. I didn’t really find anyone that I connected with in particular, but the memorable occasions (and often hilarious encounters) served as good inspiration for the novel I was currently working on. I went out on dates with guys and a few ‘hangs’ with girls, but nothing materialised for a while.

That is, until one late Wednesday night.

I was at home trying to bang out a new chapter for my novel when I heard someone banging loudly on my front door. Worried that my nice neighbours would lose their chill pretty quickly, I put my laptop down on the sofa and jogged to the door. Just as I was about to be very rude to whoever who had disturbed my peaceful night, I stopped short when I caught sight of none other than Wendy smirking at me.

“Wendy?”

How the hell did she know where I lived? I hadn’t seen her since right before I moved. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Wendy a lot, even just platonically. But it had been too painful to see her right after Irene left the city; there were so many sad memories attached to both somehow.

But for the first time ever, seeing her standing in front of me that fateful night made me feel buoyant and happy.

“Hey, Seulgi,” Wendy greeted, shooting me a radiant smile that warmed up my belly in more ways than one.

“Hey,” I stammered, leaning on my door for support, my brain still trying to register that Wendy was actually standing in front of me.

Had it really been a year since I last saw her?

“What are you doing here?”

Wendy didn’t answer at first, but walked right past me into my own apartment. “Kang Seulgi, I’m here to help you get a life.”

My head was still spinning as the front door shut behind her.

In ‘Wendy Speak’, that meant forcing me to get dressed and dragging me to a restaurant below my apartment. As it turned out, it was exactly what I wanted and needed. Wendy and I talked for hours, laughing about random adventures we got into a year ago. Unlike my old friends who were too scared to mention Irene’s name around me, Wendy never shied away once from talking about my unrequited love. In hindsight, I was glad for it. Wendy had always been a straightforward kind of woman and I appreciated her attempts to get me to accept what happened with Irene as I tried to move on.

We ended up spending a lot of time together after that, she even took me clubbing for old times’ sake. After hooking up with Kai that one time, I’d been wary of going to clubs and drinking too much. But under Wendy’s tutelage, I not only drank to my heart’s desire, but I finally had a drinking buddy who was completely uninhibited and ready to do ridiculous things right alongside me.

One night, Wendy even challenged me to a contest of who could get the most phone numbers in a club we were hanging out in. We hit on both men and women that night just for kicks. At first, it was hella awkward going up to people and trying to chat them up. But with Wendy’s subtle encouragement and goofing around, my confidence grew and I started talking in earnest to people. It made me realise that I could finally do this: be around other people and have fun without feeling sad about Irene. After that, I abandoned trying to get more phone numbers and danced the night away with Wendy.

As per usual, she walked back with me to my apartment to drop me off; it had become her ritual whenever she invited me out. But this time around, when she moved to walk away, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my apartment for the night.

A few weeks later, I neglected to come into work and Sehun was quick to call me at my apartment.

I grabbed my house phone, clutching my face with one hand while I struggled to focus with a raging hangover.

It didn’t help that my hair was a mess and I had been sleeping in front of the coffee table in the living room, wearing nothing but a bed sheet.

“Hello?” I asked in a groggy tone.

“Seulgi! Where the hell are you?” Sehun demanded in a mad huff.

“Uh, at home? You called me here.”

“I know that. Why aren’t you at work?”

“Because it’s Sunday.”

“Wrong. It’s Tuesday, you idiot!” Sehun fumed.

My eyes bugged out of my scalp while I processed this information. Then without warning, I started laughing uncontrollably.

“Seulgi, what’s the matter with you? Are you high?” Sehun hissed on the other end.

“Close. I’m just happy today.”

With that, another head with messy hair emerged from underneath my bed sheet. And it wasn’t long before a heavenly pair of lips was assaulting my collarbone while I struggled to maintain my composure during a phone call.

“Look, are you coming in at all today, Seulgi?” Sehun questioned after sighing wearily.

“Wendy, cut it out!” I scolded half-heartedly, trying to get Wendy to stop trying to give me a hickey.

And yet, I wasn’t trying that hard to ward her off, especially with how frustratingly good she looked considering she was just as hungover as me.

Wendy ignored me and went further by grazing her teeth tantalisingly over my shoulder, making my stomach throb with want. How is she so good at that?

“Seulgi?”

I rolled my eyes and focused my attention back on Sehun.

“Sehun, I’m feeling a little sick today-”

Wendy giggled at my blatant lie, which caused me to poke her in the side.

“Seulgi, Ga-In wanted you to proof the in-house newsletter in time for the company’s 25^th anniversary!” Sehun whined.

“Sehun, you and I have been working on the proof together the past few days. Can’t you just cover for me today? Please? I’ll do extra-time tomorrow for 2 hours.”

“4,” Sehun countered.

“3,” I quipped.

“Deal.” Sehun conceded in what sounded like a happy tone.

“Cool. I’ll bring you some tteokbokki tomorrow. Ciao.”

I hung up the phone and Wendy’s warm body was pressed enticingly against mine. “Are you really playing hooky today?” she whispered demurely against my neck.

I smirked and turned around in Wendy’s arms. “That depends. Are you going to make it worth my while?”

“Honey, I always make it worth your while,” Wendy purred sensually.

I stared deep into her eyes and saw nothing but vivacity, something I myself hadn’t felt in a long time. For however long this lasts, I’m going to make damn sure I have the time of my life.  

“Damn,” I mused, cupping her cheek in my hand. “I am so glad that you barged back into my life, Miss Son.”

And then I was pulling her back in for more torrid kissing.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Wendy and I were dating. We spent some of our days and plenty of our nights together. We were comfortable in each other’s company and had lots of fun while we were doing it. During that time, Wendy was a beacon of positivity in my otherwise boring life. She helped me get through the depressing void that both Irene and Joy left in my life.

And when it looked like I was finally going to recover completely, Wendy broke things off. It wasn’t dramatic or even that painful, maybe just a little sad. I guess I get too attached easily in most situations, especially when Wendy healed me in unexpected ways.

“Don’t look so sad, Cupcake,” Wendy mused, cupping my face in her hands after she gave me the bad news. “This thing we’ve been doing has been so much fun. I think…with a little more time, it could’ve been something really amazing. But you’re not ready for that and I don’t wanna make something this good complicated. So let’s go back to having fun as just platonic friends.” She concluded with a warm smile on her face.

“Were we ever just platonic friends?” I griped, but with a grin of my own this time.

Wendy didn’t say anything, but moved closer and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I may have imagined it, but I could’ve sworn that I saw some unshed tears in her eyes just moments before that.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter too much because we were right back to being normal friends soon afterwards, just like she said she would be. And weirdly enough, I was ok with that. Wendy even went so far as to try and set me up with a few of her own friends, as bizarre as it sounds. But I wasn’t into any more blind dates with potential by that point; I was reminded all too well of how I’d already gotten my heart broken by Irene and my own foolhardy actions.

I wasn’t in a hurry to go down that road with anyone just yet, or so I thought.

Even while Wendy and I had been hooking up, Sehun and I had become even better friends the closer we worked together. After Joy moved out, he took me out to dinner to try and make me feel better and I ended up spilling the beans about Irene. Based on that time he caught me web-stalking her in my cubicle after hers and Suho’s anniversary a year ago, Sehun pretty much put the puzzle pieces together on his own. I expected him to be very judgemental about me liking women.

He refreshingly was not. He of course, made way too many bad lesbian jokes that night. But that was just to cheer me up, which I sort of appreciated.

Even while life was subtly changing around me, Sehun and I just seemed to gravitate naturally towards one another in any given moment, whether it was grabbing lunch together or texting one another about random things after hours. We both had even more in common professionally, especially when we got promoted to junior copyright positions at the publishing house I’d been working for the past two years when I first moved to New York City. With that pay raise came a lot more late nights working together. And one night, our boss Ga-In forced the two of us to finish proof-reading some articles since our deadline was the next morning for a special edition of the magazine.

We ended up spending the whole night together till about 4am, checking each other’s work and drinking a vat of coffee together. And we talked too, about both the trivial and more personal things in our life. The more I talked to Sehun, the more I realised that he was actually a really good listener and I suddenly wished I’d gotten to know him sooner. I started to notice just how nice his smile was when he wasn’t stressing about his deadlines or how nice his brown eyes looked under the glare of a desk lamp in close proximity. And with that sudden realisation came a lot of confusion and inner turmoil.

I’d liked – no, loved Irene for longer than I cared to dwell on. How could I possibly like guys again, especially Sehun?

I’m going crazy.  

But the more I tried to fight my growing attraction to Sehun, the more I found myself going out of my way to socialise with him at work events and even being friendlier to him than usual on occasions. And yet, I was still very much resistant to the idea of falling for someone new, much less someone that I respected and got along with.

Things got even weirder when Wendy invited us both to a house party some time later. I was having a decent enough time and so was Sehun; we drank a couple of shots and even danced together. There was one moment towards the end of the night when I was leaning against a wall talking to him with a half-empty stirofoam cup filled with Coke and rum in my hand. Sehun was telling some funny story and he had pressed his hand to the wall near my face, leaning comfortably towards me. My breath hitched in my throat when red and yellow lights flashed from a car driving past outside at that moment; the beams shot across his face, illuminating the stark wonder and burning intensity in his brown eyes as he leant painstakingly closer.

But I panicked and shot out from under him, murmuring some stupid excuse about having a headache and wanting to go home. Sehun offered to walk me to the nearest taxi stop, but I refused and practically bolted out of the door with my heart in my throat. And yet, I still couldn’t stop disappointment from flooding my belly at the fact that I didn’t let him kiss me.

Sehun tried to broach the subject several times afterwards, but I didn’t budge. What was I supposed to say to him? ‘Gee, Sehun, you’re such a swell guy and I’m sure I could probably get addicted to kissing you, even in my imagination. But I kind of don’t want to like or love anyone ever again. So thanks for your time’?

I don’t think so.

Things finally came to a head when we got into a heated argument just outside our workplace after hours after Sehun unsuccessfully tried to confront me about that moment at the party we went to weeks ago. And when push came to shove, I basically intimated that I wouldn’t date him even if an apocalyptic genocide of the entire male species occurred in the next 5 minutes. And then I simply walked away, fuming as I hailed a cab and got in as it took me to Herald Square. I immediately regretted my harsh words, but I was much too proud to take it back, not when any thoughts which brought me pain smarted like a cattle branding iron.

Sehun and I didn’t talk to each other for days after that; we didn’t even bother with our usual chitchat and goofing off, much to the consternation of our other colleagues. I felt awful about what I’d said to him, but I didn’t want to be the first one to admit I was wrong and say I was sorry. Besides, things were going wonderfully between us before he tried to kiss me; why did things have to suddenly change just because he may or may not like me and I may or may not reciprocate in turn? Urgh, I hate my life!

I don’t know how, but we got back to a point of forced equilibrium and somehow danced around that other issue for a good couple of weeks until he showed up unexpectedly outside my front door. It was Friday evening and I was home watching TV. To say I was surprised was an understatement; I was still trying to figure out why he was there, when he hadn’t texted me to say he was stopping by.

“Hi,” Sehun greeted with an awkward wave of his hand.

“Hi. What are you doing here, Sehun?” I demanded without thinking. What? I’m nervous as hell here.  

“We need to talk.” Even though he looked outwardly calm, I couldn’t help noticing the way he’d knotted his hands together while he spoke, like he was scared they were going to separate from his wrists completely. “I’m sorry about that fight we had a few weeks ago, Seulgi. I shouldn’t have pushed you to talk to me about that night at the party. I was wrong.”

“You came all the way to my apartment to tell me that?”

“Why do you seem so surprised?”

“Because it happened ages ago and we’re cool now.” I replied in a bid to be composed.

“Are we, Seulgi? Are we cool?” Sehun questioned bluntly, evident hurt shining in his eyes.  

I heard the vulnerability in his voice and regretted my harsh words from before even more. Why did I have to be so mean to him? I used to be a lot more kind and considerate before this mess. All that obsessing over Irene had made me put up so many walls over time, I hardly recognised myself even more.

“Of course we’re cool, Sehun. I know I didn’t give you a chance in the beginning when I first moved to New York. But lately, I’ve realised just how sweet and amazing you are. You’ve been such a good friend to me with all my other going on. I should be thanking you, not lashing out at you, and I’m sorry for that.” I returned after a few seconds of silence.

Sehun nodded at something and I couldn’t figure out what, until he said, “Just a good friend, huh?”

“Well, that’s what we are. At least we were till you tried to kiss me.” I finally blurted out.

And it was finally out in the open. Oh boy, I just know I’m going to regret this somehow.

“I shouldn’t have done that, at least not like that. I tried to play it cool for a long time now; but I saw you that night and you looked so happy and at ease with yourself, something just came over me I guess and I couldn’t help myself. But if I could’ve had a ‘do-over’, I would’ve asked you out on a proper date first and waited for the right moment to kiss you.” Sehun declared with sudden exuberance.

I was floored by his confession, even though I couldn’t help noticing how flawed the delivery was. Maybe he’s just as confused by all of this as I am.

“Wow. Thanks for telling me you like me without actually saying you like me,” I griped half-heartedly, even though my heart was pounding in my chest.

Sehun stepped closer to me and I was painfully reminded of the fact that we’d been talking in the hallway outside my apartment this entire time. The polite part of my personality should’ve invited him inside sooner. But all I could think about was what could possibly happen if I let him in past another set of my walls.

“I do like you, Seulgi,” Sehun said with sudden gravity. “That’s what I came to say…and to ask…do you feel the same way?”

“That’s a loaded question.”

“Is that a yes?”

“That’s not what I said at all! You’re putting words in my mouth!” I fumed stupidly.

Sehun held up his hands in surrender, which I found strangely adorable in the moment. “That wasn’t what I was trying to do at all. Look, can we rather talk inside your place about this? Or at least grab a drink at a bar downstairs?”

“A drink? Are you serious? Do you know what a drink can lead to?” I asked facetiously.

“?” Sehun asked in confusion, which made me chuckle at the unexpected humour behind his question.

“Well yeah, sometimes. But that’s not what I meant. I meant more like one drink equals several drinks, which could lead to…kissing…and, like… dates and stuff.” I offered uncomfortably.

“And that’s bad because…?”

“Because I’m not into that stuff anymore.”

“Who’s seriously not into kissing and dating and stuff?”

“I am! Ever since...” I trailed off, not wanting to state the obvious.

But Sehun caught on quickly anyway. “Ever since what? Irene? Just because she broke your heart?”

“She didn’t just break my heart, Hun. She ripped it out, stomped on it and made confetti out of the ruined pieces. I don’t want to ever go through that again.”

“Ok, so that inherently means not giving yourself a chance to ever be happy again? That’s really dumb.” Sehun scoffed openly.

“Screw you, Sehun! Do you even know what it’s like to really have your heart broken like that?”

“Why don’t you step into my shoes right now and find out?”

That officially floored me and I saw the truth of what Sehun was saying in his eyes. Why does it feel like my heart’s breaking just a little bit too? All these feelings I’d had towards him lately seemed like a silly crush. Could it really be more?

I finally closed my front door behind me as I came to stand in front of Sehun in the dimly lit hallway, both of us talking to each other with our arms folded across our chests. Then I sighed deeply at the mess I’d somehow gotten myself into yet again. 

“I can’t, Sehun.” I said, feeling really miserable and lovelorn in the moment.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you to be my next big mistake.”

“Don’t I get a say in this at all?”

“I’m doing better these days. But ultimately, I’m a mess.”  

“I’m not asking you to be perfect. I like you just the way you are.” Sehun replied in earnest.

Even though it made me feel really good to hear him say that, I still had to plough on with what needed to be said.

“You’re better off not getting involved with me, trust me.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” Sehun questioned seriously.

“I’m not,” I shot back defensively.

“Prove it.”

“What? How?”

“I saw the way you looked at me that night when I tried to kiss you. Before you ran away, you wanted me to, I know it. Admit it, you like me.”

I sputtered in disbelief at Sehun’s audacity. Is he serious?

“And how exactly am I supposed to prove that I like you when I don’t like you, O Great One?” I mocked.

“Look me in the eye right now and tell me you don’t like me back. If you really don’t feel the way I feel, I won’t ever bring it up again. We’ll go back to being friends like we were before or just work together as colleagues, whatever you want us to be. Don’t leave me hanging me here, Seulgi. I need to know for sure, or I’ll go crazy.” Sehun pleaded.

“Forget it, I’m not gonna prove anything to you,” I spluttered indignantly.

“Seulgi, I’m not asking for something complicated here. Why are you getting so defensive if you don’t like me back?”

“Because I don’t like you back, you idiot! Why are you doing this to me?” I whimpered sadly.

“It’s like you said – I’m an idiot and I’m crazy about you.” Sehun countered with a sad smile of his own.

“Dammit, Sehun, you’re making this really hard for me! I just wanted to move on from Irene and be happy. I didn’t want to get to know you better and start liking you as more than a friend, even though you’re easily one of my favourite people in the whole wide world –”

Sehun cut me off and stepped well into my personal space and kissed me full on the lips. At first, I was too stunned to do anything; my reflexes hadn’t quite kicked in to make me respond in any comprehensible way. But somewhere in-between him wrapping his strong arms around my back and neck and kissing me forcefully, I found myself giving in and returning his kisses with even more fervour and a few leftover tears. I felt dizzy like I had a fever from the way Sehun was pouring his heart and soul into every kiss; I felt sad at what I was leaving behind and infinitely happy at what was going to happen next. I was boneless and numb, just seconds away from floating off into a new realm of overwhelming possibilities.  

He finally let me go and I found (to my intense amazement) that I was panting hard from how breathless he had left me, a sense of disappointment creeping over me at the loss of contact.

“So…I’m really one of your favourite people?” Sehun asked, a huge smile tugging on his cheeks.

“Shut up, you didn’t hear me say that.” I retorted gruffly, feeling stubbornly bewildered by what had just transpired.  

“Sorry, you can’t take it back now.”

“True, but I can punch you for being so annoying.” I griped, even though injuring him was the farthest thing from my mind.

And the smug idiot knew it too when he daringly pulled me back into his arms so we were gazing at each other again.

“Come on, Mama Bear (one of his dumb pet names for me that caught on like wildfire at work), you don’t really want to punch me, do you?” he questioned softly, looking extra adorable with his hair mussed up and his lips bruised where I kissed him.

“Hmm, not right now, maybe there’ll be time for that later,” I murmured coyly.

Then I leant in and engulfed Sehun in a searing kiss that almost threw him off balance, much to my inward satisfaction. But it wasn’t long before he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around my body as we stood together in the hallway outside my apartment.

Kissing someone I’d been avoiding lately wasn’t exactly what I had planned on doing that night, or any time before then. But as I soon realised, it really wasn’t a bad way to kick-start the weekend and hopefully what was sure to be a great year.

Lol, I think you'll all know which part I enjoyed writing the most here *cough* All the parts with Wendy *cough* ;-) In the original story, Sehun's character was an irritating git, or so my brother and male friends told me after they read it :-P I hope I gave Sehun some redeeming qualities, hee hee. Because I'm feeling generous tonight, I'm also posting the epilogue tonight too *throws confetti* Brace yourselves, my pretties, you just might like it. Pip pip cheerio!