Taeyeon’s car is different than it was years ago. It’s much fancier, much more comfortable, but a lot of it still felt the same. For one, it was the same deep crimson colour and it still smelled like strawberries, an air freshener most likely a gift from Tiffany. And on the dashboard sits the dukong that Taeyeon was so fond of and hanging off her mirror shines an item that causes Sunmi’s jaw to drop.

“You still have it?” she asks shyly, feeling herself go back three steps after the progress she made to become more like herself and more comfortable around Taeyeon again. She didn’t expect it and she can feel her heart swell.

“Of course I do,” Taeyeon responds as she starts the car, “It’s my good luck charm.”

Sunmi had noticed that Taeyeon stopped wearing it those years ago on shows or at the airport and she thought, because they were over that maybe she just threw it out. But there it was, the tacky looking promise necklace that she made for the older woman, made of fragile red rope and fake crystals.

“It looks so crummy,” Sunmi laughs, remembering how proud of it she was when she made it those many years ago. “I still can’t believe you didn’t even throw it back at me when I gave it to you in the first place.”

Taeyeon chuckles, her eyes darting to glance at Sunmi before returning their focus to the road, “I keep a lot of stuff. You know how sentimental I get with objects.”

Sunmi remembers the night when Taeyeon spent hours going through her memory box with her. That night she found out so much about Taeyeon’s past and how the older girl had a ridiculous knack of remembering little important details.

“Open up that compartment,” Taeyeon demands as one of her hands points to the storage pocket in front of Sunmi.

And the younger girl does as she’s told, her jaw once again dropping at the sight of a purple box with her name on it. It’s heavier than it looks. 

“Feel free to go through it,” Taeyeon says a little quietly, a small smile tugging on her lips. She’s blushing and she’s glad that she can’t look at Sunmi for this.

Sunmi does what she’s told, removing the lid of the box to reveal the contents within. Despite the darkness from outside, Sunmi almost feels blinded by the objects inside the box. They’re glowing, sparkling with the memories of brighter, more innocent days.

Movie ticket stubs, receipts from their lunch and dinner dates, dried up flowers from bouquets, rocks that Sunmi had picked up and handed to Taeyeon on several walks, a few photo booth picture strips, and a ridiculous amount of mixed CDs.

“You kept all of this?” Sunmi is barely audible as her fingers weave through all the different objects and slips of paper in the box. She’s amazed and touched, barely feeling the tears escaping her eyes as they stain her cheeks.

“How could I not?” Taeyeon laughs a little, refusing to look at Sunmi using road safety as an excuse. “I mean, we never really officially broke up, did we?”

A pause.

Sunmi’s fingers delicately graze a really goofy picture of her and Taeyeon as she looks to the older girl next to her. Her mind is racing and her heart  is pounding and she feels go dry.

“You never saw anyone else this whole time?” Sunmi mumbles, her left hand slowly inching towards Taeyeon’s lap.

“It’s weird,” Taeyeon continues to laugh, it’s shaky and she sounds a little nervous and Sunmi can see the pink in her cheeks, “I know we haven’t seen each other in forever. And as much as I wanted to go see you, go talk to you, I know you wanted your space for a reason.”

Sunmi knows better than to respond so she nods, knowing Taeyeon can’t see and her hand is on the older girl’s thigh, squeezing her gently.

“The girls told me to move on, to get over you but that never seemed like an appealing option to me,” she’s chuckling and her eyes finally decide to allow themselves to glance at Sunmi again. “Besides, I was busy dealing with my own stuff, as you know how moody and broody I can be.”

Sunmi smiles slightly, her hand now Taeyeon’s thigh affectionately.

“And now you don’t have to deal with that stuff alone, you know that right?” Sunmi offers, her heart rate somehow increasing further. If there was one thing she never stopped thinking about while away from Taeyeon was that she wasn’t there anymore to help the older woman with her personal issues.

“You remember what I used to tell you right?” they’re at a stop light now and Taeyeon takes the chance to fully turn her head to Sunmi. And it’s only now when Sunmi can see the remnants of tears on her face despite the wide smile.

“That my face would calm you down,” Sunmi almost whispers to herself, the memories easily flooding into her mind. “That my smile would always make you smile, that my laugh was like a song.”

It always made Sunmi laugh when she heard Taeyeon say those words, because she was the same for her. Taeyeon was her beacon and apparently, she was Taeyeon’s light as well.

The car is silent and Sunmi sees a familiar restaurant come into view. It was the place where they first met alone, the location of their first date. She almost laughs to herself, touched but not surprised by Taeyeon’s thoughtfulness.

“I can’t believe the Kim Taeyeon, one of the most perfect human beings on earth who could literally have anyone she wanted, dated no one new these past four years,” Sunmi shakes her head at the thought, still not believing it. Her face hurts from smiling, she’d always feared that Taeyeon would find someone better, someone more deserving of her. But this whole time she was just waiting.

“You really need to stop flattering me like that,” Taeyeon rolls her eyes but she’s laughing, “I know you’re my fangirl and everything but I’m not exactly a hot item. Besides, dating around isn’t exactly my thing.”

Sunmi snorts, remembering the last time they talked about this years ago.

“This coming from the same woman who told me about all of her ‘conquests’ before me during her training days?” Sunmi raises her eye brow before playfully shoving Taeyeon’s shoulder, trying not to disturb her driving too much.

Taeyeon’s loud laugh comes out, remembering that conversation almost clear as day. She could really be full of herself sometimes.

“Okay so maybe I was a bit of a player when I was younger,” she’s still laughing and is glad that they’ve reached another stop light so she can breathe properly. “And a bit of a show off to you as well it seems. Wow, why do you like me again?”

Sunmi answers that question with a swift kiss to the older woman’s cheek.

---

Sunmi’s surprised when no one’s in the restaurant but relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about anyone seeing her. Taeyeon had done it a few times in the past, reserve the whole restaurant so they could have their privacy.

“No one else is allowed to have you tonight,” Sunmi swears that it’s supposed to come out romantic and a little dramatic, but the silly grin on Taeyeon’s face says otherwise and she finds herself giggling at Taeyeon’s possessive grip on her hand.

“Silly, no one else will ever have me,” she responds quietly to herself, but Taeyeon hears it loud and clear. And so she leans forward quickly, catching Sunmi off guard before planting a soft peck on her lips.

“Let’s order our usual now, shall we?”

Sunmi feels like she’s in a completely alternate universe. How can it be, after such a long period of time, the two could find their place so easily in each other’s company?

There’s a lot to catch up on and the two don’t hesitate to catch each other up on events. Taeyeon admits how flushed and amazed she was at Sunmi’s teaser, disclosing that she’d seen it about 50 times. Sunmi’s mouth is hanging open, her cheeks red at the thought of Taeyeon just watching her clip over and over again.

“I also really enjoyed your solo,” Taeyeon leans over to shuffle through her purse and Sunmi watches with wide eyes as she pulls out her album. “Could you sign this for me?”

Sunmi doesn’t speak and quickly snags the album from Taeyeon’s hands, looking at it carefully and opening it to scan the contents.

“You didn’t just pick this up before coming here, right? I can and will test you on lyrics to prove you’re lying,” Sunmi comments suspiciously. But her anxiousness and nerves are gone the second she sees little notes on some of the songs.

“You just had to go ahead and ruin the surprise, huh?” Taeyeon’s smiling softly at her and Sunmi can feel her breath catching in . She saw the notes on the lyrics, but didn’t look at them too carefully, completely caught off guard after seeing them.

“Surprise?” Sunmi mumbles before tilting her head.

Taeyeon taps her wine glass with a chop stick and a server comes over, handing Taeyeon her guitar.

“I’m gonna be honest, I had to ask Seohyun to refresh me on how to use a guitar and then I had to practice with Trax oppas, but I worked hard and hopefully I don’t fumble around too much.”

Sunmi sees flashbacks of the first and only time Taeyeon had serenaded her. That touching performance, the feelings that surged through her when Taeyeon saw her at her lowest, the first time they told each other that they loved each other.

“This song I’m singing for you…”