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>>LU HAN'S POV<<

I froze, looking back at Hye Yeong. She didn't say anything and I didn't know if she had even noticed me before going upstairs. I just cleared my throat awkwardly and considered continuing my way. From the outside, I remained serious not showing any emotions but inside, I was a whole mess. 

I kept going and going while hoping that Hye Yeong would turn and arrive at the floor she was headed to so I could look for a silent corner. But Hye Yeong didn't stop following me, she didn't say anything either. Before I knew it, we arrived at the highest floor before going upstairs to the rooftop. That was actually my least favourite place out of all the parts in the trainee building. Sure, great view and everything but it's incredibly high up there.

To my surprise, Hye Yeong was intending to go to the rooftop. "Didn't you want to come here? No need to go back down." She gestured me to follow her but I didn't move from my spot.

"Um, I think I'm good right here." I stuttered, scratching the back of my head and seeing the huge buildings from afar. I took a few steps back to be safe. 

Hye Yeong raised her eyebrow and let out a sigh, walking back to me and taking a seat near the door but at the rail. It resembled a long bench, I wasn't sure what exactly we sat on. The main thing is I don't have to look down and we are close to the door. I can escape if it gets dangerous.

"What about you? Are you okay?" I wanted to know and tried to sound as neutral as possible. "Aren't you joining the showcase later?"

"I am. I wanted to get some fresh air and clear my mind before that." Hye Yeong explained and asked me for which reason I visited and how I have been doing after debuting.

Can't you see it written on my face? I don't remember having ever felt like this. Desperate and scared. That's how I feel at the moment. Apart from that, I'm exhausted, tired, hungry, almost at my limit, but I am fine. Not because of you, I've just been busy. "I've been doing well. It's hard sometimes but I chose the path so I'm sticking to it for now. Tao made me come today."

"Good to hear that." Hye Yeong avoided my eyes and a long awkward silence followed again. "You're going to watch later? Is that supposed to make me feel relaxed?"

Honestly, I wasn't sure if Hye Yeong meant it as joke or if she was upset about the fact I was going to watch. "He forced me to come, I'm not here voluntarily." Did I come off as too cold or harsh? "You didn't answer me properly last time, but I'm pretty sure I got the message. You feel uncomfortable seeing me so I originally refused to come."

"Lu Han, listen." Hye Yeong began and took a deep breath. I turned to face her, she did the same and our eyes met for the first time in forever. I've missed hearing her voice, especially her singing voice which was so powerful and slightly different from her normal tone. The singing voice I was smitten with from the very first note she sang. "I don't hate you, Lu Han. I had to put some distance between us because I felt like you were crossing the line. You've been careless before your debut, you could've been canceled and I didn't want to be responsible for that. We are better off as junior and senior than friends, I'm sorry, I don't have any time for this."

I nodded my head and listened attentively. In my opinion, I wasn't careless. Min Seok often told me to be careful before debut, Joon Myeon as well, basically everyone. We've been telling this to each other all the time. The company has been teasing for our debut for months and our fans have been waiting for ages because the debut was long overdue. We wanted to debut safely without any complications. However, in order to get closer to Yoon Hye Yeong, I had to take some risks. I was willing to take those risks for her. Okay, maybe I was a bit careless. But I always paid attention to which times I left the dormitory, where I showed up at and how many people were around. "What if I neither want to be your friend nor purely a senior?"

"Then we will be strangers, what else? Is that what you want us to be?" Hye Yeong looked up at me slowly. "We aren't fit to be friends."

"You don't know, we've never been official friends. Am I still making you feel uncomfortable?" I wanted to know because if I was, I'd leave immediately. It's the last thing I wanted. My only option was to wait until she is comfortable enough. "I can go if you need some time alone."

Hye Yeong shook her head with a weak smile. "No, not uncomfortable. I'm only nervous. It's my first showcase."

"I'd say there is no need to be nervous but then I'd lie. Is there any way I can help to make you feel at ease? Or less nervous?" Remembering the showcases I attended not too long ago, I thought of my experience. I don't know how I handle those situations, I can't help but feel nervous sometimes. 

"How was it for you when you had to showcase your skills?" Hye Yeong questioned me curiously and I felt the atmosphere growing to be less tensed and awkward around us. "I guess I don't feel confident enough. Everyone's a better singer, dancer, performer and way younger. I'm not capable of keeping up with their energy and stamina, and I'm weaker at dancing."

"I was also your age when I started, but it depends on what you already can. You're specialising in singing, so if you focus on improving that and learn some dancing on the side, the showcase will be a piece of cake. To be honest, I neither learned dancing nor singing and only picked it up from videos, but I'm working on it and getting there. Try to have some fun and don't give up halfway." I explained and felt like a real senior for the very first time. I usually didn't give advice, I was in her shoes once but I didn't know how to help others with the same problem. If it works for me, there's no guarantee that it'll work for other people. "We both know our company focuses more on looks than on talent. The latter is important as well, that's not what I'm saying. Do you remember the motto? Everything can be taught."

Hye Yeong smiled again. It's been long since I saw a genuine smile on her face. She never smiled when I was around, did she? "Of course. I only need to look pretty and learn the rest, but not even that I am confident of. Thanks, I'll try to have some kind of fun later."

Wow, I managed to have a proper conversation with her without Hye Yeong getting mad at me. Sitting on the rooftop with Hye Yeong awakened another thought but I figured it would be too much, considering that she had an important event coming up. I don't want to pressure her unnecessarily. "Will it be okay for you if I watch the showcase?" She nodded her head at my question and exhaled deeply to calm herself down. Okay, I should give her a moment for herself then. "And Hye Yeong, please reconsider your idea of us being friends. We should have a different start regardless of our first impressions of each other. I'll see you." I waved her goodbye awkwardly and went downstairs to meet my younger friend Tao.

The trainees gathered. Tao and I sat on the floor at the very back. We wouldn't want anyone to get nervous over our appearance. In fact, I didn't feel any different after debuting. We don't seem very well-known in Korea, we don't have the chance to promote as the whole group, it's sad. I looked around, trying to recognise some old friends. I'm glad I'm not in their shoes, especially the guys have a hard time now. The company just debuted a boy group and there were definitely more