It's been a while since I've updated. but enjoy or should I say be sad??

“Oppa?” I tried calling again but the person on the other side of the line didn’t seem to hear me properly. The sound of loud music reverberating inside my ears and I immediately deduced that he was at a club.

Go figure! It was what Big Bang’s members were famous for anyway. Clubbing like there was no tomorrow, enjoying the nightlife zealously while painting the beautiful Seoul city in red. But this person was the last person I’d expected to be partying in a club.

Because he and I, we both shared the same personality. We were both home buddies or as we usually joked around when we were hanging out together, we called ourselves the ‘house fairies’ team.

So, I dared say Choi Seunghyun aka TOP would never set foot in a club if there were no legitimate reason for him to be there.

“Hello, oppa?”This time my voice raised a level.

“Yah, you better stop that….” I heard him mumbling through the line before he continued, “Sorry, Taeyeon-ah. I really need your help.”

I bit my lower lip. In my heart I was reluctant to give my agreement. If the matter that he’d be asking me were connected to Jiyong, I’d definitely turn down his request in a heartbeat regardless how much I really, really wanted to see him.

I was in my stage of rehab from an ailment called ‘Jiyongnism’, early abstinence phase, and I’d do anything in my will power to prevent myself from failing. Deep down, I was well aware that if I were to meet Jiyong face to face, realizing that we were really in a close proximity, I’d drop everything and beg him to take me back right there and then.

I’d love him too much to endure this anymore. It hurt so much to be apart. It broke me into pieces just by not seeing him anymore. It destroyed every single cell in my body to not have him in my arms again.

Because loving Kwon Jiyong…was the most exquisite form of self-destruction…

There was a momentary pause before I finally found my voice again. “Help you with what oppa? If this is about Jiyong…. I’m really sorry. I…” My words were coming out in a nervous rush. I respected Choi Seunghyun, treated him and regarded him as my own brother. So I couldn’t bring myself to be rude. “I know I shouldn’t do this to you but I have to decline.”

“It’s not about Jiyong.” He answered. “It’s Yoong. She’s drunk.”

A wave of confusion crashed over me. Why on earth was Im Yoona together with Choi Seunghyun? They never click, not that I knew of anyway. They were the ultimate polar opposite. Seunghyun even hated Yoona’s guts and Yoona was also vice versa. All because Seunghyun criticized Yoona’s acting bluntly when members of SNSD and Big Bang were having a party together and since that day Yoona hated him down to every last fragment of her bone.

Honestly, it was a misunderstanding on Yoona’s part because she didn’t listen to his criticisms from the start. Seunghyun was telling us how he liked Yoona’s acting but there were some parts where he had wished for her to improve on. But unfortunately, Yoona arrived at our party at the wrong time and only listened to his criticisms. She immediately left the party without telling anyone. And when we noticed how she was giving Seunghyun the cold treatment, we tried to explain the whole situation to her but she rebutted by saying we were just covering Seunghyun’s .

Therefore, hearing Seunghyun being together with her and even had a drinking session just sounded so far-fetched and beyond belief to me.

“What happened? And why are you with her? Is she alright?” I bombarded Seunghyun with questions.

“She’s a mess, Taeyeon.” He replied. “Yah…I told you to stop, right.” Again I heard him mumbled on the other line before he continued, “I don’t have time to explain everything to you. Just come to NB club and pick her up. I don’t think I can stop her from drinking anymore. I don’t want her to get into trouble.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in a jiffy.” I said before I quickly hanged up.

Im Yoona-ya… Since when you drink until you’re drunk? This is so not you. Please be okay…

*

NB club. The place where Big Bang members always hang out especially him. The probability of me seeing him partying inside the club was as high as the Seoul Tower. This club was his territory, his usual domain where he came to have the time of his life.

And in all seriousness, I was terrified that if I ever take even one single step inside the club, I’d see him again. I wasn’t ready to see him just yet. I wasn’t strong enough to face him directly and act like everything was fine between us, just how we used to be when we were friend. I wasn’t mentally fit to give the Oscar-winning-worthy performance in lying that Kwon Jiyong didn’t affected me in any slightest way possible.

Because I knew damn well, it was seemingly asinine for me to do so. He was basically deemed my entire world.

Kwon Jiyong was that special.

The very moment I’d arrived at NB club, I had wished so hard that Seunghyun and Yoona were waiting for me at the parking lot. But it was pointless because I didn’t catch even a glimpse of their shadows. I tried calling Seunghyun’s cell but there was no answer. Perhaps he didn’t notice it or he was busy taking care of Yoona because I knew she could be impossible to handle when she lost her sanity to alcohol.

So, I decided to simply get the hell out of my car and charge head on inside the club. It felt genuinely awkward coming to this club again without the rest of the gang. I was never a club goer like Hyoyeon, Tiffany, Sunny or Sooyoung but when I was still in relationship with Jiyong, I tried coming here for his sake.

I felt it was only fair for me to do so. Jiyong, he tried his best to adapt to my world, accommodating me in every way he’d possibly can. From going to the art galleries to admire arts, putting up disguises to accompany me to music festivals or even having a day out with my SMTown family, Jiyong did all of them with an open heart. He never complained; he effortlessly did all the things I’d have interest in with a smile on his face.

And because of him, though I dislike partying, once in a while I’d followed him here, but if and only if, my other members were going to be there as well. I was a house fairy who at best only interacted well with my SMTown family, so to meet up and mix with an unknown crowd really did taken a toll on me. But with my members’ presence, I’d tried my best to not be the party-pooper. I tried my best to adapt to his world.

For what's it worth, I still at partying though.

With a heavy sigh, I let myself wandered inside the club, looking for Seunghyun and Yoona. At one point, I was glad I was wearing a disguise. I wouldn't want to meet any of Jiyong's usual crew. It'd be so awkward if ever our path crossed. They were Kiko's biggest supporters after all. That was when I realized I was gunning solo inside the enemy's territory. I cursed silently in my mind, nagging endlessly at myself for not asking Tiffany, Sunny or Hyoyeon to accompany me.

But when I gave myself a second thought, it was nearly an impossible task to ask them. Tiffany had been busy at the studio preparing for her solo. I couldn’t bring myself to ask Sunny to come with me because her health wasn’t really at its best and it was better for her to rest considering her busy schedules. Hyoyeon was working her hardest with Fei and Irene to launch their jewelry brand, Phoebe&you. She barely get any sleep these past few days and seeing her panda eyes during dinner, I wasn’t sure I’d had the heart to ask her too.

So for now, my one and only aim was to find Yoona and Seunghyun and get the hell out of this club as soon as possible.

As I wandered, my heart began to beat faster with each step as I took. I didn’t know why, but my guts were telling me that Kwon Jiyong was nearby. My entire world was somewhere inside this rowdy drunken crowd. I braced myself for catching the sight of his face, but as I went further into the flock of people, I recited every prayer that I knew of so that we didn’t meet.

I decided to look for Seunghyun and Yoona in one of the private rooms that we’d usually booked when we came. When I reached to one of the rooms, looking secretly inside the room via the crystal clear glass, my heart skipped a beat instantaneously, without any warning.

I saw him. I saw Kwon Jiyong.

But what made my heart cease to function in a slip of a second was he wasn’t alone. I’d feel a whole damn better if the person who was with him was some random chick or any of my idol friends. I wouldn’t be surprise because that was how things used to be. It wasn't out of the norm.

Kwon Jiyong was, is, and always would be a chick magnet.

I knew that, been warned about it countless of times by Heechul oppa, and I’d even experienced the situation first hand each time we went out together. I used to be immuned, even plastered a smile on my face and acted like I was cool with it whenever it happened.

But I was deemed to taste failure if that person was her. The jealousy that I’d used to expertly conceal, buried deep in the deepest depth of my heart suddenly became evident, manifested so easily because of her.

That person… Mizuhara Kiko.

Jiyong’s infamous femme fatale.

She’d bring out the ugliness inside of me, someone who I’d barely recognized.

She’d threatened the security of my relationship with Jiyong, making me full of insecurity.

She’d poison me with the venom of jealousy that I’d tremendously afraid I would lose myself at one point.

Mizuhara Kiko is a banned existence in my life, a taboo that I wasn’t able to dispose.

For those reasons, seeing him with Jiyong after all this while made me realized that I was holding on to something that didn’t exist anymore. That the person I missed didn’t exist anymore.

People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we can only wish they wouldn’t all day long but that never ever work.

I thought I knew real pain felt like but I didn’t until I saw the way Jiyong looked at her. That look was the same look that he used to have when he looked at me.

When Kiko took his right hand and put it on her cheek, Jiyong smiled brightly and at that time I just wished I could disappear from the surface of the earth.

Dear god, it hurt so, so bad. Why did it have to hurt this badly?

My tears threatened to burst out from their dam as the truth slowly ate me alive.

Jiyong was with Kiko again.

That revelation alone crushed me to no end.

I bit my lower lip as hard as I can to force myself to be strong, gripped to the side of my jeans tightly and told myself to swallow the scene in front of me and just get hell out of the club.

As I plunged myself into the sea of people dancing madly on the dance floor, I repeatedly told myself to not cry in front of the public. I was glad everyone inside the club were either seemingly drunk or high, they won’t notice the leader of SNSD was walking beside them, on the verge of bawling my eyes out, putting a disgrace to my reputation.

When I reached my car, my tears finally found their way out and cascaded onto my cheeks. I cried and cried until I finally felt satisfied. I cried and cried until I found myself unable to cry anymore. I cried and I cried until my conscience was shouting non-stop on how pathetic and wretched I was at that time.

I felt so mad at myself. I felt like I hated myself more than hating him. And I didn't know if that was even possible. Because I'd convinced myself many time that I was over him and now I knew it was all just pretended. I was being foolish.

Finally, after 10 minutes that seemed to pass like eternity, I finally calm down. I remembered the real reason I was there.

Im Yoona. My dear little sister.

I wiped away the remaining liquid on my cheeks and took my phone out of my jeans to call Seunghyun. He didn’t pick up on my first call but I tried again multiple of times. At my fifth try, he finally answered.

“Oppa…” I started slowly, trying to control my voice. “I’m at the parking lot. Could you…could you bring Yoona here?”

But I guessed my cover was blown. Seunghyun noticed the changes of my voice. He wasn’t stupid; he knew exactly that something was wrong with. “Taeyeon-ah, are you okay? Why are you crying?”

I took a deep breath before I found my voice again. “It doesn’t matter why, oppa. Just bring Yoona to me.” I didn’t waited for his respond and immediately hung up the call.

I looked into the side mirror of my car and saw my pathetic reflection, red blood-shot eyes, cheeks stained with liquid. I didn’t know what kind of excuses I would have to give to Seunghyun. But at that moment, I decided to not care after all. When he’d bring Yoona to my car, I’d just drive away without saying a word to him.

After five minutes, Seunghyun finally appeared with Yoona at the parking lot. From a distance, I could see that Yoona was so wasted. And that was a rare sight for me. I quickly got out of my car and went towards Seunghyun and Yoona. She was muttering words that I couldn’t make out the context but I did catch the name Seunggi.

What the hell did Seunggi do to Yoona?

“Yoong…” I said while holding her on her left side. I looked at Seunghyun and I knew he was eager to ask me why I was crying. Because that was the way Choi Seunghyun was. He was your reliable, caring oppa, who’d always looking out for his dongsaengs.

“Why…” Yoona said between hiccups and tears. “Why did…hick…he do this to me?” I could see that she was crying. And it became known to me that Seunggi did her wrong.

“What happened to her oppa?” I asked after we put Yoona at the back seat of my car.

Seunghyun cleared his throat and leaned himself against my car. “I don’t think you should hear from me first hand. I don’t have the right to tell you.” he told me, crossing his arms together. “For the meantime, just be there for her. She needs you.”

I nodded as I glanced at Yoona who was still rambling inside my car. She looked so pitiful and it broke my heart to see a bubbly, cheerful girl like her ended up wasted because of alcohol.

“I will.” I assured him. Though I may be not the best companion, I’d do my best to comfort Yoona. “I think I should go.” I said, as I opened the door of my car.

But Seunghyun grabbed me by the arm and my steps came to a halt. “Hey…are you okay?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

“I am…” I said weakly and I knew my answer didn’t come close to assuring him.

“You know you can always talk to me about everything, Taeyeon.” Seunghyun said as he dug his hands into the pocket of his jeans.

“I…” I paused while I tried to find the right word to continue. “Is…is Jiyong back together with Kiko?” I didn’t know where on earth did I find the audacity to ask that question, but I did and it made Seunghyun looked so surprise.

“What do you mean?” he questioned. “What made you think they’re together? Of course they’re not.”

“Don’t lie, oppa.” I looked at him straight in the eyes to find even a tiny hint of honesty. And I did but I chose not to dwell on it. Because I’d seen with my own eyes that they were together again.

“You know I’m not, Taeyeon.” He argued strongly.

“It doesn’t matter, oppa. The truth won’t change no matter what you said.” I said harshly, my tone raised an octave.

“Taeyeon…” Seunghyun looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right for it.

I took advantage of his silence. I slipped into my car and Seunghyun gave way for me to close the door. I let the window down and smiled bitterly at him. “I’m sorry if I was rude to you. Though I know you care about me, I don’t think I can talk about this matter with you.”

He hesitated for a moment before he finally gave up. “Fine. But remember, I’m a call away if you wanna talk.” He backed off two steps, then a third. “Take care of Yoong.”

“Don’t worry. I have her back.”

A/N: SHOULD I ADD TOPYOON SIDE STORY ALSO?

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