Chasing You

Chapter Sixteen

Distances

It was normal to dine with your parents.

People do it every day and everywhere. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and everything else; combined with all those snacks that you’d take so long to pick out just to eat in one sitting. It was a usual event but that was not very applicable for Ah Reum. Since she had a complicated family and lost contact with her father years ago, dining with her own two parents was an experience she never had. Maybe after tonight it would be possible but she was not looking forward to it that much because as far as she knew, she was satisfied with her life.

She was sitting at the far left corner in the restaurant, waiting for the 'turning point in her life' to happen. Funny how she was expecting something to change after she talked to Shin Jaesop.

Ah Reum remembered the telephone conversation she had a few days ago with her father. He was inviting her to have an early dinner with him. Ah Reum wanted to tell him how dare he call them like that and invite to eat with him when he was the last person she wanted to see but she could not do that because she promised to talk to him. She came earlier than the time they were supposed to meet because she did not want to walk into the restaurant and just see him. Ah Reum wanted to be prepared because seeing her father was one of the biggest decisions she made in her life. As the waiters and waitresses greeted everyone who entered the restaurant, Ah Reum could not help but count the guests coming in and out. And ironically, she was becoming impatient, though, no one told her to come early.

Her father's voice was very gentle and warm. Ah Reum could not help imagine what he looked like and if his personality was also gentle and warm. This was what she was trying to say to Sehun about how lucky he was to see his father because in her case, she did not even know how her father looked like unlike him. Ah Reum insisted her mother should come with her but Jiyoung disagreed greatly, telling her that this was her chance to be with Jaesop for the very first time so interference should not happen. Ah Reum could cry for not knowing how it felt to have a father and for the many happy memories they could make but were not made. She wanted to feel the strictness of a father, his unique love, she wanted to hear what he would want to say every time she needed his advice, and she wanted to see how her father could make her mom happy.

All those did not happen. Ah Reum was giving him another chance but he should be worthy of it first.

The waiter had called her attention for the third already, telling her to order already because she was hogging the table for too long, but she insisted that she was waiting for somebody. Maybe the waiter thought that she was hanging out in a nice restaurant and would go out without even purchasing their products. But, food was something Ah Reum could not resist so even if Jaesop didn’t drop by to show his face, she would eat.

She heard her father's voice over the phone but still could not imagine what he looked like. They had pictures at home but she refused to look at them. She really did not want to even have a glimpse of it for many reasons and number one of it was to avoid the sadness.

She sipped the water remaining in her glass when someone started taking the free seat from her table. Ah Reum was alarmed by the man who casually just took the seat that was for Jaesop. She bit the ice that was in and placed the cup back on the table. She found the middle-aged man really rude for not even asking her permission which was the common thing to do.

"No, I'm waiting for someone."

The man grinned at her, then smiled. "Yes. That's me."

That was when Ah Reum realized where she got her cheerful attitude. Her Mom was not cheerful and definitely not a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Jiyoung always took things seriously as her work preferred. Her mother was always formal and not the easiest person to approach but Jiyoung was perfect in her own way. Ah Reum could say she was star struck to see Jaesop even though he was not a celebrity. Ah Reum might have earned her physical looks from her mother but in one look, she could tell that her personality was mostly from her father. She could not believe it. He was finally in front of her, smiling like he was there because of the best reasons the world could think of.

"Oh."

Jaesop nodded. "Do you want something or should I order for you?" he asked.

Ah Reum literally sank in her seat a little as she was still astonished by his sudden appearance. She glanced at the clock and saw that he arrived on time. Jaesop looked like a regular business man... with a coat. He looked like he was good at his job, even though she did not know what it was. Ah Reum could blurt out a hundred ways to describe Jaesop, but she could not come up with at least five ways to describe him as a father. He was in his early forties, she could tell, but he did not look like it. Ah Reum bet that he was extremely happy as she and her mother suffered from his absence. Maybe her father already had a different family that was taking care of him. Right off the bat, Ah Reum had so many questions to ask him and she could not wait until she voiced it all out.

"Do what you want," she said, answering her father's very first question to her.

Jaesop recited all their orders. It was surprising to see how familiar he was with the menu when this was the first time he dined at the restaurant since he was staying abroad. Ah Reum looked around to see people eating casually. The difference she and her father had with them was that this dinner was the very first one that they shared and many personal things will be talked about later.

"I'm very glad that you are here today." Jaesop finally started a conversation after the long, deafening silence. He went inside the restaurant and spotted her almost immediately, since she inherited most of her mother’s attributes. He could tell that his daughter was nervous and so was he. "I missed you, my daughter. You've grown up well."

"Please don't call me that."

He was taken aback by what she said and he forgot that Ah Reum was not ready for this father-daughter problem they had to solve. "I'm sorry," he said, reminding himself to be careful with the next thing he’d be saying.

Ah Reum sensed the disappointment he felt and the questions floating in his mind. "I just don't think that you have the right to call me your daughter but I am not saying that I am closing the doors on you. It's just that... it is going to be a long process."

Jaesop smiled understandingly. "Don't worry. I understand it fully. Should I call you Ah Reum then?"

The brunette nodded, wondering how she could act so formal. "Yes, you can call me Ah Reum."

Dinner was served which interrupted Jaesop’s follow-up question. He loved to eat and tried to act as normal as he could be, but his daughter was intimidating him. The last time he looked at her was when she was barely a year old and now she looked so tall, intelligent, and strong. He waited for this day to come so long ago and now that it was happening, he did not know how to start explaining things to his daughter. Ah Reum deserved to know everything because if there was one person who was most affected by his separation with Jiyoung, it was her. He wanted to tell Jiyoung later how happy he was to see that Ah Reum grew up to be a nice child. He still had lots of questions to ask her but he did not think Ah Reum would answer him as she still did not trust him.

Jaesop knew it was going to be a long process but remembering his reason for leaving them, he knew this was what he wanted. Besides, he left them to be a better person for Jiyoung and Ah Reum. He could see that she liked the food he ordered which relieved him because she was being kind again. They were going to finish their food and soon their drinks. When they did, Jaesop knew he had to start the talking.

"Months ago, your mother told you that I wanted to see you. What she didn't tell you is that we were communicating with each other for two years now."

"What?" was her first reaction and she almost dropped the glass of water she was holding.

"She didn't take it easily also because she was hurt but I told her to listen to me first because I was doing this with all my sincerity. I've been with your mother for years, Ah Reum. Those were the best years of my life... so perfect and so wonderful."

He said it in a way anybody would believe it. Ah Reum felt nothing from his confession.

"Then, why did you leave?"

Jaesop smiled, like he was waiting to say his reason after so many years of waiting, but he did not find the chance to tell anyone because no one wanted to listen to him. "Because it was too perfect. We stopped growing."

Ah Reum felt a pinch when she heard that sentence from her father. She had always heard excuses like this whenever couples break up but it was still unclear for her how something like that could be a problem. She thought she would hear something like he never loved her mother or they were simply not meant to be but to hear something like it, it surprised her. She believed that it was the real reason but was the reason that complicated that it could lead to separation? They loved each other and he destroyed it because it was too perfect. Ah Reum could not find the problem in that at all.

And therefore, she concluded: Jaesop is a coward. Her father is a coward. And that was the reason she was looking for from him.

"You were already married. What could you possibly have wanted more from a perfect relationship?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Imperfection, perhaps."

"I don't understand." Ah Reum could not believe the words coming from his mouth. "Why would you possibly want that?"

Jaesop saw the confusion in his daughter's eyes. He was amused because he knew what she was thinking.

"The fear of losing my perfect family succumb me and I lived every day fearing it. I had t