wikyd. chapter 10

Author's Note:

Let’s focus on the other characters for now and according to the number of pages on Microsoft Word, this is, by far, the longest chapter I’ve ever written for this particular fic. I just hope you don’t mind the grammar mistakes again because I don’t have the luxury to proofread since I’m busy with stuffs- a lot of stuffs, ugh, I feel like crying. But anyways, I hope you’ll like this one because I’ve shed every bit of my blood and sweat for this still-dramatic chapter and I tried going into the details (which I find really hard, but not impossible, to do). Can I at least get your comments in return, please? I love reading them (just trying to test my luck here, haha).

He had never felt so ill at ease.

Jaejoong decided to watch Yunho’s basketball practice which is at 7 in the morning but he arrived there around 9 so that the latter won’t regard him as someone who is desperate to see him. He was actually invited by Yunho and he really can’t refuse him anyway so he’s standing right now by the bench inside the gymnasium as Yunho gave instructions to the newly added members of the team.

But what’s making him unpleasant is the very fact that the senior and junior members who are huddled in a crowd beside him are not even looking at the basketball practice which is the main reason why they are all here. Instead, Jaejoong could feel their stares at him which is way too uncomfortable for his liking. He is aware that the heavens had bestowed him good looks but being ogled by people who are not Yunho? Nuh-uh. He could feel the hairs at the back of his neck standing.

“Alright!” His attention returns to Yunho’s roaring voice. The freshmen students hurriedly gathers in front of the captain, “That will be it for today. We’ll continue tomorrow, same time. For now, the regular members will be occupying the court and practice for the upcoming tournament. If you want to watch, you can stay. Good work, guys!”

Everyone starts clapping and muttering ‘good work’ to each other but Jaejoong’s attention is solely on the tall captain ball who is currently making his way towards his direction. Although he could feel the stares making holes at the very sides of his being, that unnerving feeling vanishes when Yunho is now standing directly in front of him.

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Yunho’s voice came a little bit excited but he doesn’t mind and Jaejoong feels giddy all over again knowing that Yunho feels the same way as he is.

Jaejoong tries to hide his blush through chuckling, “I did say I would, right?” Then he heard the famous melodious laugh from Yunho’s lips and he so wanted to kiss him right now, in front of the regulars who are still eyeing him like a hawk even though he is talking to their captain.

But it seems like Yunho had noticed it. “Regular members, start practicing!” Then he turns to Jaejoong and leans forward a bit. The latter almost thought that he would kiss him. Much to his disappointment, Yunho turns left and whispers “Follow me.”

Yunho passes through him and Jaejoong inhales the sweaty masculine smell that fills his nose. He follows Yunho as if he is in trance- intoxicated, even. But also because he wants to get away from the ogling eyes as much as possible. Honestly speaking, he feels like he was being stripped off of his clothes with their stares.

They went out of the gymnasium. Jaejoong doesn’t have the slightest idea where they are going but his feet continue to follow Yunho who is walking a step before him. He double step so that he is walking beside the latter. As they walk side by side, Jaejoong feel the knuckles of their hands grazing against each other and he stops himself from getting tempted of grabbing the warm hand. But he was surprised when Yunho suddenly grabs his hand to lace their fingers together.

He turns his head towards Yunho and the latter mirrors his action just to give him a breath-taking toothy smile that only Yunho could do. He smiles back almost instantly but shyly and he doesn’t care because all he could think about is how warm Yunho’s hand is against his cold one’s. He turns his head to look in front of him again when they stopped.

“Why are we in the cafeteria?” Jaejoong frowns.

Yunho chuckles at the cute expression and pokes Jaejoong’s cheeks, “I’m hungry,” he simply replied and Jaejoong wants his jaw to drop at the not-so-humorous response. “I wasn’t joking, though.” Yunho added and Jaejoong laughs, “Now you laugh, how weird.” Then it was Yunho’s turn to laugh while Jaejoong pouts.

“Is it okay to be here?” Jaejoong asks as they walk inside the empty cafeteria. It’s the middle of the morning so it’s either everyone are in their classes or still sleeping at their dorms. “I mean, you are the captain and your members are practicing.”

“It won’t hurt them if I leave them for a bit,” Yunho said, leading the beauty towards the table near the right corner of the cafeteria. He sits on the white chair and gestures the other to do the same. He eyes Jaejoong as the other sits beside him. “I sometimes ditch them and just relax somewhere quiet depending on the time of the day,” he confesses, although he’s not embarrassed by it even just a little bit. He sounds like he’s even proud of it.

“Oh really?” There is a hint of teasing on Jaejoong’s voice and it did not go unnoticed by Yunho. “Just kidding,” Jaejoong immediately said. “I gave it to Mark already. The jersey.”

If Yunho was a rabbit, he’d be twitching his ears already at the sound of Jaejoong’s cousin’s name. He is completely aware of the fact that Jackson is developing something deep for Mark. Of course, as someone who is close to Jackson whom he regards as his brother, he’d be noticing these kinds of things right away.

“Thanks and sorry for the bother,” His voice almost thoughtful and he went silent after.

Jaejoong stares at the other- studying his face. One thing he is thankful of is his ability to observe and analyze people and most of the time, his assumption is always correct. “I think Jackson can take care of himself,” he said.

“I know he can,” Yunho whispers, “But I’m worried for Mark.”

“What do you mean?” Jaejoong furrows his eyebrows.

“Jackson, he-,” he presses his lips together and thought whether he’d tell Jaejoong or not. But since the latter is related to the two subjects at hand, he’d just have to spread everything on the table, “He’s such a bad boy,” he had thought about what word to use to describe the Hong Kong native and what he had said sounded so elementary and obvious, “I mean, he can be a bit troublesome,” Much better.

Yunho then stares at Jaejoong as if asking the latter if he had gotten the message. Jaejoong then nods his head to answer the silent question, “Yes, I know what you mean,” he said, “But Mark is a big boy. I raised him well.”

“Are you sure?” Yunho’s a bit doubtful, dismissing the witty remark. He had witnessed how Jackson is with his partners. By partners, he meant those one-time mates. Jackson can be harsh and indifferent. He had seen a lot of people both girls and boys, walking away from Jackson’s life with tear-stained face and shattered hearts. He had gotten used to it already. But since Mark is Jaejoong’s cousin whom he loved so much, he doesn’t want to lose his good relationship with Jaejoong and he also doesn’t want Jackson to do stupid things which he will regret for the rest of his life.

Sensing Yunho’s emotional state in chaos, Jaejoong gently holds Yunho’s hand with his- his thumb brushing against the knuckles- hoping that it would somehow ease Yunho’s worries, “You’re starting to look old,” he joked and Yunho let out a breathy laugh- realizing that he had gone rigid.

“Sorry, I worry like a father,” he said and combs his hair with his free hand, ruffling it after.

“No, it’s okay,” Jaejoong shakes his head as he replies, “I sometimes feel I’m the mother when I’m taking good care of Mark, too. But if your Jackson ever hurts my Mark, I’ll be the one doing the chastising, although I must warn you, I can go overboard.”

Yunho guffaws at Jaejoong’s humor. He should be at least anxious at Jaejoong’s capacity to beat somebody up but the way they are talking about parenting right now, he just couldn’t help but laugh, “We sounded like their parents trying to patch their misunderstanding.”

“Well, we are, right?” Jaejoong giggles, “I really don’t expect Jackson to be perfect anyway seeing how his father is being irresponsible right now by setting aside his duty as the captain of the basketball team,” he teased.

The said captain pouted, “Hey, I am doing my responsibility!” He defends, “But it just so happens that you were there and I can’t possibly ignore the way my members were looking at you and your pleasant appearance.”

Jaejoong blushes and lightly punches Yunho’s arms, “Stop turning the tables here!”

And Yunho continues to tease Jaejoong in which the latter secretly enjoys now that he has gained his attention.

Past 9 in the morning, Yugyeom left to his 10 o’clock class. Jaebum had waved his cousin goodbye before getting himself comfortable on the bench he is currently sitting on. He leaned back, his hands inside his pockets and closes his eyes as he enjoys the calming breeze brushing against his face. The Cherry tree is so big that it covers the three benches under it.

Since it is Tuesday and he doesn’t have any classes, might as well sleep under the shade. But that was not for long when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He squint his eyes a little bit but widens it after.

“Hi,” There came a soft a voice.

Jaebum had his back straightened already as his eyes focus on the person who already is sitting in front of him. ‘Am I dreaming? What the actual is this? Or maybe I’m hallucinating?’ he thought, unsure of what he is seeing. Upon realizing that the other has been waiting for his reply, he immediately clears his throat, “Hey.”

The other smiles, eyes turning into crescents and little whisker-like lines forming under his eyes and Jaebum thought that this is truly happening, “What are you doing here, alone?”

“I wasn’t,” Jaebum abruptly replied, earning a confused look from the person across him, “Yugyeom was here with me earlier but he already left. He has a class at 10,” he explained.

“Oh, I guess that explains everything,” he said and chuckles.

Then they sat there in silence. Jaebum can’t seem to take off his eyes from the beautiful person because his heart is beating so fast right now. He feels like his heart wants to convey a message or something because at the mere presence of the other in front of him, makes him want to believe that he has a chance- a chance for love he had been dreaming of- until he can’t stand the silence anymore.

“What are you doing here, Jinyoung?” He asks as softly as he could. He doesn’t want to sound like he doesn’t want to see the other because he wants to see him so badly.

Jinyoung looks at him for a moment with an expressionless face before tugging his lips upward to give out a small, gentle smile, Jaebum almost melted from his seat, “I’ve thought about what you said at the party,” he said, voice almost silent. He played with his fingers as he spoke because he doesn’t have the courage right now to look at Jaebum in the eye especially how his cheeks are burning from shyness.

Jaebum feels his heart skipping a beat- almost booming in his chest, “And?” Okay, he sounded almost desperate but he doesn’t care because Jinyoung is finally talking to him about the confession and it is something to look forward to. It may result to happiness or maybe to heartbrokenness but he wants to hear the other’s thoughts about it. He doesn’t want to go jumping into conclusions.

Crescent-shaped eyes meet Jaebum’s, “I want to give us a chance.”

After hearing those words, Jaebum almost lost his hearing. His eyes focusing on the love of his life not caring about his fan girls calling his name at the side because all he could hear right now is the loud banging on his chest and his fast breathing. He is not hyperventilating though but it is the work of love that is causing his other senses to malfunction. He doesn’t mind because here in front of him, sat the center of his world who already gave his reply to his confession.

He wants to say something but his voice got stuck on his throat. So he sat there with his mouth open as if trying to process the unexpected information in his head. He had already processed it but he doesn’t know what to do and how to act. He is left completely helpless and lost but internally, he’s celebrating. He just doesn’t know how to show it.

“Are you for real?” Jaebum asks as he found his voice. He wants to make sure that Jinyoung isn’t just playing around him, that this is not all a dream because if it were, he would cry and complain on how the world is so cruel to him and all that drama.

Jinyoung nods and chuckles after, “I am. I’ve spent the whole day yesterday thinking about it,” he said. “Mark told me not to be hasty with my decision because frankly, I don’t really know how you’ll act if we ever get into a relationship because for me, I want it to last.” He shyly peeks at Jaebum after finishing his explanation and looks down again on his hands as if it was the most interesting in the world aside from the handsome face of a man in front of him.

But Jaebum laughs and Jinyoung furrows his eyebrows, “I’m sorry, you’re just too cute,” the older explained and the latter blush at the adjective. “I want it to last, too,” he said, “because I love you.” Jaebum smiled at the now-teary Jinyoung. He is completely aware about his fan girls now because they are way too loud for his liking but he thinks that this is the perfect moment where he’ll be announcing to the whole student body his love for Jinyoung.

“Come here,” Jaebum gestures Jinyoung to sit beside him. The younger follows and was about to sit on the same bench when he was pulled towards Jaebum’s lap. He blushes hard at the close contact. Jaebum sees the reaction and pinches the latter’s nose- he almost squealed at how Jinyoung scrunches his nose up, ‘ing adorable!’ He looks straight at Jinyoung’s eyes, his face gracing with the gentlest smile he could muster, “I love you,” he whispered.

Jinyoung wipes the tears from his eyes before they could fall and roll on his cheeks. He circles his arms around Jaebum’s neck and leans forward, brushing his nose against the other, “I love you, too.”

They could almost hear the cooing sounds Jaebum’s fans were making which surprised the two because they thought they would not be accepted considering how Jaebum is so popular around the campus, especially now that they are showcasing their love for each other. It turns out that Jaebum’s fans had been pairing him with Jinyoung because they saw how the other girls had placards ready on their hands with their names on it.

“We’re loved,” Jaebum whispers, his forehead resting against the younger. Jinyoung chuckles and nods his head, agreeing to what Jaebum had said. “Let’s give them a memorable commemoration of our relationship,” he said and without waiting for the other’s answer, he already leaned forward and settles his lips on top of Jinyoung’s who immediately closes his eyes.

Jaebum could not possibly imagine himself kissing Jinyoung but right now, it is happening. He is kissing Jinyoung under the Cherry tree with the loud cheers from his fan girls.

This day really calls for celebration.

Youngjae wakes up from his ringing alarm beside him. He groans and grabs the annoying little thing to turn it off. It is already past 10 in the morning and he has classes by 12. He stretches under his covers and sighs out of relief to feel his sleeping muscles waking up and relaxing.

Flashback

The cruise ships had finally arrived at the port around four in the afternoon.

Jackson was with Jaebum because Mark was out accompanying Jinyoung. It’s pretty obvious why Jaebum can’t go near to Jinyoung for a while. He’s trying to give the latter some alone time. On the other hand, Yugyeom was nowhere to be seen once they’ve gotten off the ship just to receive a message from the said person. Apparently, the youngest is with the Thai student who he had developed a strong connection to. Jackson and Jaebum could practically see the sparkles in Yugyeom’s eyes whenever the latter talks about Bambam.

They were about to head to the dorm rooms together when an unexpected figure greeted them.

“Hey, guys,” the guest said, a small smile decorating his thin lips.

Fully aware about the current situation of the two people in front of him, Jaebum stepped up and smiled, “Hey, Youngjae- haven’t seen you at the party. Where were you?”

Youngjae’s smile twitched a little at the question but remained his calm demeanor, “Yeah, I sort of had a change of plans and did not attend,” he said, scratching the back of his neck lightly as he take a glimpse at the poker-faced Jackson who stood a step behind Jaebum.

“What? Why? You should have joined us. It was fun,” Jaebum frowned a little bit.

“Yeah? My bad, I guess,” Awkwardness was slowly seeping out of his words. He tried to reply the older with the same level of enthusiasm but found him unable to do so. He turned to his Chinese love interest and remembered why he had gone to meet them in the first place, “Jackson, can we talk?” He slowly said, “Please.”

Jaebum looked at Jackson who stared at Youngjae for a moment before nodding. The Chinese native patted Jaebum on the shoulder before heading away from the crowd to find a quieter place. Jaebum understood what his friend had meant so he just stood there and watched the disappearing figures of his two friends. He silently prayed that something good will come out of the talk.

The younger did not utter any word and just followed Jackson towards the secluded are of trees. They made a complete stop once they were out of everyone’s sights. Youngjae was fidgeting a little bit though, his stomach churning as if he wanted to vomit right at that moment because of nervousness. He realized then that he had his head bowed, so he slowly lifted it and looked at Jackson’s broad back.

He wonders what Jackson is thinking right now. He couldn’t see his face but from the way how Jackson’s shoulders had turned stiff, he’s feeling a little but uncomfortable- a rising feeling of regret fills his own body. He sadly smiled to himself at the thought of Jackson being so disturbed about his presence. Come to think of it, it was his fault in the first place. If he had somehow stopped the growing feelings for the Chinese, he would still have a good friendship with him. But curse his impulsive and immature self that made all of these unfortunate things to happen- just like what is happening to Jaebum.

Although a little bit shaky, he let out a small sigh to calm himself down, “Jackson,” he called out, his voice small and silent, “Can you at least look at me while we talk?” It was more of a demand than a request because Youngjae couldn’t stand the awkwardness they’re having and wants to settle this once and for all.

Jackson turned his heel around to face Youngjae. He had this unreadable expression on his face again but the younger didn’t comment about it. The Hong Kong native did not say anything but just looked at Youngjae- his face filled with so many emotions that he doesn’t know what to display.

“I came here to talk,” Youngjae started, he cleared his throat to wash away the shakiness from his voice, “About my stupid feelings for you.” He could see that the older wanted to say something but before the latter could do so, he lifted his hand out, palms facing the other as he shook his head, “No. I’ll be the one doing the talking,” Youngjae said and that made Jackson hold his horses down and settled with a poker face. The younger could see the stiffness on Jackson’s body slowly disappearing, “Thank you,” he whispered.

The fencer nodded at the words of gratitude and Youngjae considered that gesture as a cue for him to continue, “First is that I want to say sorry,” he said. He clasped both of his hands because he could feel it shaking, “I’m sorry because I couldn’t stop myself from loving you. I am completely aware that the reason why the both of us drifted apart was because I confessed to you. I know that you felt betrayed when I did that so I’m sorry- ugh,” his words abruptly stopped when a hiccup escaped from lips and tears spilled from his eyes.

He immediately wiped the tears off of his cheeks and just laughed slightly at his pathetic self. Jackson did not say anything nor did he move to console the younger. He remained on his ground and Youngjae mentally thanked him for that because if Jackson ever showed him mercy on his miserable state, he would take it as something positive and get his hopes up again.

“But,” he hiccupped and swallowed the think lump of saliva that had formed at the bottom of his tongue, “I don’t ever regret loving you.”

The way Jackson’s eyes had softened was clearly evident and Youngjae genuinely smiled this time because he knew that he is effectively conveying his message to the former, “I want to thank you for still keeping me as your friend even though I harbor these kind of feelings. You didn’t push me away. I want to thank you for at least half accepting me for being gay for you although now, I could clearly see that you’re turning into one for another person.”

Jackson pursed his lips together and his eyebrows met. Youngjae just chuckled at the reaction and wipe the remaining tears on his cheeks. He had known it from the start- from the very first encounter of Jackson with the red head. At first, he felt all bitter, sad and upset. He wanted to resort to violence and just keep Jackson from seeing the once he considered as a threat. But upon being away from Jackson, he had somehow managed to think things through and concluded that Jackson was just not meant to love him. And he accepted that because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be standing right now in front of the source of his inner turmoil.

“You love him, Jacks,” Youngjae whispered, the tips of his lips pulled upwards. He saw Jackson’s look of disbelief and he sighed at the latter’s stupidity, “Don’t deny it. Your feelings for him are real but you think that it’s just an infatuation because you’ve never been in such a situation before. Deep in your heart, you know that he’s someone special to you.”

“How can you be so sure about that?” Jackson finally spoke; his frown was still on his face.

“Because I’ve been in love, Jackson. With you. And I could see the way you look at him- how your eyes flicker at the very sight of him,” Youngjae explained. He had calmed himself down now because he’s trying to help Jackson realize his true feelings. Let’s just say that it is his way for making up things between them, “Your eyes speak love. You’ve just got to trust your heart and instinct or you’ll miss your chance and forever regret not grabbing it. And since I still want to be your friend, I don’t want you to suffer the consequences of ignorance.”

Youngjae stepped forward and placed his hand on Jackson’s left shoulder feeling the muscles under his palm, “I want to be friends and I hope you’ll still accept as one. And don’t forget what I said to you. I want you to reorganize your sentiments. I wish you good luck,” he said and retreated his hand back. He looked at Jackson one more time and smiled before turning around and walking away, leaving Jackson in a daze.

End of Flashback

He smiled at the recollection of their heart-to-heart talk. He feels like he had done something good, in which he did because right now, he’s got a feeling that Jackson is doing exactly what he had instructed him to do- just a hunch though. And he had promised himself one thing: he’ll be moving on and be a good and true friend to Jackson.

That’s for sure.

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