I'm here, once again. To whatever year you are in, tbh i really hope the future me wont ever have to come back here for new entry. 

It's coming back. I did everything i had to, and left with "losing interest in it". And im starting to recall what i told my friend regarding the thing that I've achieved during this time. I answered "self improvement" and i began to have countless questions running in my mind.

"am i even improving?"

"am i even in healing process?"

"i wonder if, am i really, okay?"

I had been thinking of going for a consultant but i would never want any of my closest one to know about it. I mean, they might think I'm, crazy or maybe be like "that's just because you think too much". And sometimes i just hate it when i started to show that side of me and they be like "nah you're fine" 

Or sometimes when someone show that side of them and i saw countless of peeps trying to help them, me, the so called outgoing type of person, felt unfair. They show it, and they actually try to help. And when me, the outgoing person trying to ask for help, i only received "are you on period?"