maria/themonster.co.kr
triggers: eating disorder and racism
x
RIA FERNANDEZ MA
shushuhuahua | kenzie | 9/10
Maria, Maria I'm saying this for you.
It's a starry night. Don't torture yourself.
It's a starry night. Don't torture yourself.
WhoAmI?
FULL NAME ria fernandez ma (리아 페르난데스 마)
NICKNAMES
— maria: her english name and the name her parents called her all her life. she got called ria at school but everywhere else was maria.
— ma ria: her korean name
— ma ria: her korean name
— umma: she's the mom of the group
— dubu: her members say her cheeks are squishy like tofu so they call her that.
— dubu jorim: her fans would call her that because she has cheeks like tofu but she's not pale like tofu, she's tan like braised tofu. heidi absolutely hates that nickname even though maria says its ok.
— chipmunk: her parents call her that because she always had big cheeks
PRONOUNS she/her
UALITY hetero
DATE OF BIRTH (AGE) march 22, 2003 (19)
BIRTHPLACE seoul, south korea
HOMETOWN seoul, south korea
ETHNICITY korean-filipina
NATIONALITY korean
LANGUAGES
— korean: native - she was born and raised in korea
— tagalog: fluent - she was speaking it since she was young
— english: semi-fluent - she learned from a young age
— thai: very conversational - she learned from natty a while ago and now she speaks it with koi. they speak a mix of thai-korean-english.
HowDoILook?
FACECLAIM cignature's belle
BACK-UP kriesha chu
APPEARANCE
height: 160cm on profile / 158cm for real
weight: 45kg on profile / 52kg for real
mara is the shortest and chubbiest member. according to bmi she's actually a healthy weight and on the lighter side still. when she looks in the mirror she feels so much bigger than she is. she lost weight compared to her trainee days but she personally doesn't see a difference even when she lost about 6kg since then. she has a round face that makes her cute but also doesn't help with making her look any skinnier. her skin is tanner than usual so staff has to put lighter makeup on her. her hair is currently orange. boyfriend era.
FASHION
her style is simple is relaxed. she's insecure about her body so she doesn't wear tight clothing, even skinny jeans she doesn't wear. nothing too bold either, she just likes to blend in.
BehindThatSmile
TRAITS
(tropes) esfj, lawful neutral, 2w1
(tropes) esfj, lawful neutral, 2w1
(+) motherly, disciplined, empathetic
(–) perfectionist, insecure, stoic
(–) perfectionist, insecure, stoic
ELABORATION
motherly: maria is the mom of the group, as the leader they all depend on her so she has to step up and take care of them like her kids. now she just naturally takes that role with everyone she meets. she also got the less loved part of being motherly like being naggy and scolding. she can get protective over the younger members since she knows how mean people can be she is observant and skeptical.
disciplined: since she trained since she was 10, maria is very disciplined, she learned quick that being a trainee is no place to be babied instead the opposite. so she learned to hold back her emotions and take her duties seriously. even if she's on the floor panting like crazy, she will get up to say lets do it again and knows how to respond well in interviews. thats why shes the main talker in the group.
empathetic: maria can understand others problems well, its apart of her motherly side and leader side to solve her group members problems. she's there for all of them when they need her. shes very good at giving wise advice and a warm hug. though because of so much pressure she tends to blame herself for others problems too.
perfectionist: a firm believer of pratice makes perfect, maria wants everything to be perfect. she watches fancams just to see where they can improve because in the end it all falls on her if they mess up. when they don't practice she gets naggy.
insecure: she isn't confident in herself so strives for the best. she doesn't think she's pretty or very talented so any little comments really gets to her, especially the ones about her weight give her ptsd. she would openly be self deprecating at times and her members would compliment her but they don't know how deep her insecurities. she really thinks she isn't worthy of anything and thought ultra would be better without her sometimes. even though her group thinks the complete opposite
stoic: she doesnt tell others her struggles, she figures her members are struggling too so her issues dont matter as much. telling them will only worry them and make her look like an incapable leader so she keeps many worries to herself, the only person she really tells is binni.
DigDeeper
ria fernandez ma grew up in the Catholic Church. both her parents are catholic, they met while her dad was on a mission in the Philippines. now he is a pastor and she is one of the recruiters for foreigners that approaches people on the street with a pamphlet or holds up a sign. maria was apart of the childrens choir since she was little, that’s where she got her beautiful voice from. someday she wanted to be in the adult choir because they sounded so beautiful everytime they sang. maria was never insecure about being mixed until she joined 4th grade. a boy asked her if she’s poor, when she asked why he said all filipinos are poor and that she probably married her dad because she was too poor. that day maria ran home crying and asked her mom if they were poor and if her parents really love each other because of what the boy said. her mom told her that they love each other very much and it was god who brought them together.
god was a big part of her life. her parents brought him up all the time and how he was constantly blessing them everytime something good happened. even when something bad happened it was somehow all apart of gods plan. she was still a kid so she couldn’t fully grasp how some man in the sky was granting so many wishes but since her parents believed so did maria. everytime she wanted something she prayed to god and when she was 10 she prayed to be a singer. the only place that maria really felt where she belonged was church because even though they didn’t all come from the same place they all had the same interest, god. she didn’t feel judged at church, especially with the choir. maria actually didn’t know anything but catholic music, her parents only listened to hymns or catholic bands so when she prayed to become a singer that’s what she meant though god had a different plan for her. a jyp staff member happened to be at her church when it was time for the kids choir to sing. she sang her solo for the whole church, she was a small and chubby 10 year old but had a big voice that rang across the whole church. after the mass was over that’s when she got approached by the staff member to join jyp.
JustSomeTidbits
TRIVIA
— she thinks her charming point is her gummy smile
— her favorite song is maria by hwasa. when she first heard it she cried
— part of her feels ashamed of being filipino. she questioned plastic surgery and skin bleaching
— she's a fast eater
— her members think she gets scary when she's really serious during practice
— she doesn't pray everyday anymore, only before they go on stage so no one gets hurt
— she used to be friends with chaeryeong, somi and daehwi but after seeing how popular they've gotten she felt a disconnect especially since they haven't seen each other in a while. they just say hi if they see each other but its become awkward and it makes her sad
— she's a plant mom
— she thinks her korean name is unique because it creates her english name but many peopl think her name is lia instead of ria
LIKES
— wearing makeup
— any dish with meat is a big yumm
— getting told she doesn't look mixed
— seeing blooming flowers
— melodramas
— reading fan letters
— btob, ailee, akmu, mamamoo, trot music
— tea
DISLIKES
— survival shows
— slow eaters
— getting asked to speak tagalog in interviews
— rude comments towards any member
— hearing someoe say god has a plan
— overeating
— winter
— feeling pressured
— overthinking
HABITS
— skipping meals
— overeating
— weighing herself at least 3 times a day
— yoyo dieting
— staying extra long in the studio to make sure some members learn the dance
— using her mom voice when she becomes strict
— praying everyday and before they go on stage even though she doesn't fully believe
— chewing gum to stop from eating
HOBBIES
— watching all the members fancams to see what they can work on
— reading comments
— singing
— dancing
Relationships
PARENTS / MA JINRAK AND TALA AMIHAN MANALO FERNANDEZ / 53 AND 44 / PASTOR AND CHURCH RECRUITER / INFJ AND ENFP
maria rarely sees her parents and rarely talks to them. when she told them why she couldn't see them as much they brushed it off as apart of gods plan. she wishes they weren't so overly religious and just told her they love and support her and give her a hug. there were times she just wished they said come home if youre unhappy, you did well. but instead told her god is watching over you to protect you. she only gets more frustrated when talking to them.
maria rarely sees her parents and rarely talks to them. when she told them why she couldn't see them as much they brushed it off as apart of gods plan. she wishes they weren't so overly religious and just told her they love and support her and give her a hug. there were times she just wished they said come home if youre unhappy, you did well. but instead told her god is watching over you to protect you. she only gets more frustrated when talking to them.
GROUPMATE / RYU BINNI / 21 / MEMBER OF ULTRAVIOLET / ISFP
maria is closest to binni, maybe because she's the oldest and maria is very mature for her age. binni is like the co-leader so anything maria missed binni comes up with. she uses binni a lot to threaten the girls, especially youngsun and heidi. she knows all binni's struggles so everytime she sees her get nervous she's there to hold her hand. they have long late night talks often, she's the one member maria can open up to because she was in produce 101 too so she knows the struggle. she's also the only one thst has seen maria cry. binni tries to make healthy vegetarian food like zucchini spaghetti and maria tries so hard to like it but she can't.
maria is closest to binni, maybe because she's the oldest and maria is very mature for her age. binni is like the co-leader so anything maria missed binni comes up with. she uses binni a lot to threaten the girls, especially youngsun and heidi. she knows all binni's struggles so everytime she sees her get nervous she's there to hold her hand. they have long late night talks often, she's the one member maria can open up to because she was in produce 101 too so she knows the struggle. she's also the only one thst has seen maria cry. binni tries to make healthy vegetarian food like zucchini spaghetti and maria tries so hard to like it but she can't.
GROUPMATE / PATTAMAWAN CHITTSAWANGDEE / 19 / MEMBER OF ULTRAVIOLET / ENTP
maria is the most protective of koi after soojoo because she knows the struggle of being sea and the hate comments that can come with it. shes happy that koi can't read korean and doesn't see or hear some comments people make about her, she intends to keep it that way for as long as she can. she learned thai for koi and finds it cute how innocent she is. the only time she scolds her is when it comes to her health.
maria is the most protective of koi after soojoo because she knows the struggle of being sea and the hate comments that can come with it. shes happy that koi can't read korean and doesn't see or hear some comments people make about her, she intends to keep it that way for as long as she can. she learned thai for koi and finds it cute how innocent she is. the only time she scolds her is when it comes to her health.
GROUPMATE / OH YOUNGSUN / 18 / MEMBER OF ULTRAVIOLET / ENFJ
maria sees youngsun as a hot mess of a child. she's thankful for all the help she tries to do but sometimes wishes she really didn't. she actually thinks she's the problem child instead of heidi. but still she loves her all the same because she knows she means well. she is keen on making sure she doesn't overwork her voice even if that means screaming at her to drink her tea.
GROUPMATE / HEIDI KIM / 16 / MEMBER OF ULTRAVIOLET / ESTP
maria actually admires heidi for how daring she is. she wishes she was so confident like that and hopes she never changes. she's not as protective as for koi but she also doesn't want her to feel the pressures of hate comments since she knows how harsh it could be. they talk in konglish to each other mostly and whenever heidi gets the mic she gulps a little.
maria sees youngsun as a hot mess of a child. she's thankful for all the help she tries to do but sometimes wishes she really didn't. she actually thinks she's the problem child instead of heidi. but still she loves her all the same because she knows she means well. she is keen on making sure she doesn't overwork her voice even if that means screaming at her to drink her tea.
GROUPMATE / HEIDI KIM / 16 / MEMBER OF ULTRAVIOLET / ESTP
maria actually admires heidi for how daring she is. she wishes she was so confident like that and hopes she never changes. she's not as protective as for koi but she also doesn't want her to feel the pressures of hate comments since she knows how harsh it could be. they talk in konglish to each other mostly and whenever heidi gets the mic she gulps a little.
GROUPMATE / HONG SOOJOO / 15 / MEMBER OF ULTRAVIOLET / ISTP
soojoo is her daughter, her baby, the one she hopes never loses her innocence. she actually thinks soojoo is amazingly talented and professional but she wants her to be a kid and make friends her age. she is lenient on soojoo because she wants her to enjoy her childhood without much worries. seeing her mess around and be a kid makes her happy.
soojoo is her daughter, her baby, the one she hopes never loses her innocence. she actually thinks soojoo is amazingly talented and professional but she wants her to be a kid and make friends her age. she is lenient on soojoo because she wants her to enjoy her childhood without much worries. seeing her mess around and be a kid makes her happy.
BEST FRIEND / ANATCHAYA SUPUTHIPONG / 20 / SOLOIST / ENFP
natty is the only one that maria is really friends with from jyp. to her natty is like an older sister instead of maria taking care of everyone all the time. she hasn't seen her in a while and there are times she wishes she was so she has a shoulder to cry on. they promised each other they'll debut together back in sixteen but it never happened. she promised ultra that they'll stay together and thats a promise she's not willing to break this time.
natty is the only one that maria is really friends with from jyp. to her natty is like an older sister instead of maria taking care of everyone all the time. she hasn't seen her in a while and there are times she wishes she was so she has a shoulder to cry on. they promised each other they'll debut together back in sixteen but it never happened. she promised ultra that they'll stay together and thats a promise she's not willing to break this time.
TheKpopIndustryStory
CONECTION TO THE KPOP INDUSTRY
Maria started training at 10, all she had was the dream of being a singer and god watching over her. She really didn’t think becoming a singer would be so much effort but she trusted in gods plan to continue, she really had no choice actually. She was only 10 so sometimes she’d call her parents crying about how hard it was and her mom would always just say that she’ll pray for her and it was all apart of gods plan. So that’s what gave her hope throughout her 2 years of training.
PLOTLINE open
TALENT TWIN jihyo
BACKUP chungha
TRAINEE YEARS 3 years (jyp) 2 years (mmg)
PAST EXPERIENCE
— cameo (2014): got7 girls girls girls mv
— sixteen (2015): 11th place
— cameo (2015): twice like ooh aah mv
— produce 101 (2016): 26th place
— idol school (2017): 14th
ELABORATION
Maria joined the show sixteen when she was 12. she was the youngest contestant so she was seen as cute and chubby, it was apart of her charm instead of being seen as a bad thing. she thought that this is where gods plan would finally come into fruition but she got eliminated during the final episode. even though she was eliminated she still felt the love from fans that sent her gifts so she was still happy. she didn’t leave jyp after that and got the opportunity to join produce 101 with somi the following year. because of sixteen their performance was highly anticipated and jyp had a personal talk with them that he expected them to debut in ioi.
both of them ranked a but instead of getting praised for their performance together, netizens compared her looks to somi’s. a lot of comments said she looked stocky next to somi and wasn’t as cute as in sixteen. she still had fans from sixteen though so she wasn’t eliminated early on, she ranked quite high for the first few episodes until she revealed that she was half filipino and her rank went down. she started seeing harsh comments about something she couldn’t control, the hardest comments to read were those saying that being mixed with white was better than mixed with filipino. she went from being 6th place one week to 12th after the news came out. She got a lot of support from Filipino fans that voted for her though in the last episode she came in 19th place. Maria thought that only mean kids were like that, to know that adults voted her out because of her race really hurt her. There were old fans of hers saying that they actually felt betrayed knowing that she’s Filipino because she didn’t say so on sixteen. It’s not that she was hiding it but she just didn’t think it was important, she didn’t think it mattered.
going back to training and seeing somi rank first and debut really hurt, she was happy for her but felt jealous. a lot of the people she knew before either left or debuted. maria was only 13 but she was already depressed, she didn’t know what to do because ethnicity isn’t something that can’t be improved or fixed. she stayed at jyp for a few more months until leaving, her depression got really bad because she couldn’t see an up from there. jyp was really focused on twice anyways so she didn’t feel she would do much progress. when she went home the first thing her parents did was pray for her and mention gods plan again. maria was on the verge of getting annoyed with hear that so much until she got a call from a producer wanting her to join idol school. maria thought idol school would be a documentary of sorts so she was in, especially because natty was also going. the last thing she wanted was to go on another survival show yet it ended up being her fear.
in the first evaluation maria ranked second after natty, all her basic strength ratings were high. people expected both of them to debut because they already had fans. fromis9 wasn’t as glamorous as it seemed behind the aesthetic set though, one of the hardest parts was that the girls could barely eat to stay skinny. the younger contestants that were still in school had to sneak food for the rest of them and Maria was one of those people. but funny enough, the staff actually encouraged her to eat so she can maintain her chubby figure so netizens can keep talking about it. while the other contestants only ate 1 fry for a meal, maria was forced to eat a whole back of fries and a burger. when she didn’t want to eat they yelled at her and wouldn’t let her leave until she finished. they took away all their phones the whole time they were there so she couldn’t even call her parents. she actually gained weight during the show and netizens pointed out that her dancing skills were lacking and she sounds tired when performing, but it was because she was being forced to eat junk food three times a day for the duration of the show. by half way through the show she was no longer in the top 9 and got eliminated in the last episode again. immediately after the show she got contacted by mmg to join their company. they were the only ones to reach out so she took it as a sign from god to sign with them.
maria spent the next two years training under mmg. Training at mmg was different than jyp because she was no longer a baby, they were stricter and expected her to reach their expectations. They already knew she was talented, her problem was her weight and instead of helping her lose it in a healthy way they put her on a strict diet making her weigh herself at most 10 times a day. After every meal Maria had to weigh herself so she could learn how foods affect her body. But instead of eating healthy food she just felt guilty everytime she ate anything though eating food was one of the only things that made her happy during her depression. So it was a continuous cycle of happiness and disappointment. She’d starve herself for a few days and then eat a big meal to make herself happy then regret and do it all again. The company has a rule for calculating ideal weight: height - 120 = perfect weight (+2 is the maximum). Maria struggled with maintaining her weight so they limited when she can see her parents, only for an hour a month at the office.
Even when she debuted her struggles continued. For comebacks they all went on a strict diet, two eggs, ten cherry tomatoes and ten almonds. During promotions she would just drink one carton of soy milk a day. They had to weigh themselves everytime they got back to their dorm and before they left. The scale was in their livingroom so they couldn’t avoid it. On a normal day Maria weighs herself at least 5 times a day letting any fluctuations make her question her worth and beauty. As the leader she gets so much pressure from staff. They constantly remind her that any failure Ultraviolet makes is her fault and tell her that her lack of visuals is hurting the group. There are many times that she mentally questioned the existence of god, if he truly is as great as her parents say then why does he let her suffer and feel unworthy. All these are mental struggles of hers that she goes through alone. She feels that going on Produce Angel is her fault too, maybe if she was prettier or full Korean ultraviolet would be famous already. The last thing she wants to do is go on the show, especially for her members to possibly go through what she did. And her biggest fear is going through all that again, she might finally break this time.
Let'sHearFromYou?
THE INTERVIEW
Please answer these questions from your character's, if they're lying or delusional please put the reality in brackets.
IF YOU WERE A MEMBER OF A K-POP GROUP, WHAT WOULD YOUR POSITION BE? i'd like to keep my lead vocalist and main dancer position if that's possible. though it might be hard with so many other talented girls here.
OUT OF 10 HOW TALENTED WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF? seven? i trained for a long time though there are times i feel i can be better.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A KPOP IDOL? i got scouted when i was really young so training she all i know. it has its ups and downs but i love what i do.
DO YOU HAVE GOOD STAGE PRESENCE AND CHARISMA? WHAT ABOUT STAR QUALITY? i think i have good stage presence and charisma by now, i practice everyday so i can have that. but i've been on two competition shows and didn't make the final so i think i'm lacking star quality. i will work hard to prove that i have it too though.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A TEAM PLAYER? yes, i'm the leader of ultraviolet so i know the importance of working together. if even one person slacks it throws everyone off.
Oh Maria, I'm saying this for you
Why are you trying so hard? You're already beautiful.
Why are you trying so hard? You're already beautiful.
AnyLastWords?
COMMENTS
— here! Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
— here!
— here!
SCENE SUGGESTIONS
— a solo mission and she performs maria by hwasa and gets emotional
— here
— here!
PASSWORD maria by hwasa
Comments