"Oh I thought he is hot or handsome."

"Sara, he is not that cute"

"OMG he looks like an old kid"

"He is a gay"

"He looks creepy. Imma call him 'Zelo Scary '"

Hello, it's Sara again :) It's 7.10 a.m in Malaysia, still early in the morning! ^_^ Hehe since I've already finished school, I'm in freedom state so yeah, to kill time, I have decided to write a blog again today! :3

And because.. I've been hurt by my own friend :'(

The quotes above was her comments on one of my bias, that is Choi Junhong or Zelo, the maknae of B.A.P. Yeah I'm kind of disappointed when she commented like that. It stabbed my heart real deep, because in my opinion, Zelo is flawless, right from his feature to his rapping. He is a good example of an idol with talent, because that's what makes him special, and that's the reason why I like him. He is unique, he is not any beautiful boys you've seen in the Kpop scene now, he is rare.

I have never wanted any of my non-Kpop fans (or friends with little liking on Kpop) to know who is Zelo, because I know the reaction must will be hurting my own self. Yes, you may think "why are you so coward to defend your love", you know, I'm not that kind of person. I won't be fighting just because little things like this, but I will keep it to myself and sulk alone. Like now, talking to you guys are like releasing my sadness of what my friends' thoughts on him.

Ok well, I've some of the moments in our conversations (me and my friends, in our whatsapp group) where I accidentally typed Zelo, but I've never spammed them with his pictures. Then yesterday, one of my friend there, (we can address him as Am, who can be considered as a CNBLUE fan, and knows about Zelo because he likes B.A.P's music), edited a picture of Zelo and sent to me in the group. And I commented "Eh he looks cute. Thanks Am" and this girl friend (let's address her as Leez) saw the pic and commented

Is it just me or...

he looks like an old kid?

At that moment, I wasn't really hurt so I just sent a smiley emoji and told her that probably it's because of the edits. And I sent her his real pic, and she commented that he looks creepy and weird. Really? I started to brew in anger. What's wrong for looking like a creepy kid?

Probably knowing I will get mad when I saw anyone telling me bad things about Zelo, she attacked me with a series of "Zelo sux", "Zelo got no girlfriend, he is a sad kid", "He will never get a girl", "Zelo is forever a loner", "He is not cute" and , I asked her to stop. I don't want to start a fight with her. Y'know, when I do, then she would be speechless. I may have no liking on fanwars or attacks on non-Kpop fans, but my anger have it's limits. One time, someone have did it and I made her cried. So yeah. People always think I'm overthinking and delusional, but have they ever think about my feelings? Other than my love for readings, B.A.P is my love and I have cried for them for million of times because of these kind of person. I have never done any jokes to their idols, but why I'm the victim here?

Then she told me that Sehun is more handsome and have more fans than him, and my other friends agreed with her. Okay, no offence to any Sehun fans who are reading this, but is popularity and good looks is the only thing that you look in your idol? You have never try to sit and wtch what Zelo got but yet you guys have judged him? Is it wrong for not stanning an unpopular guy? She even attacked me with "Plastic surgery has messed up Zelo's face. That's why Sehun is better".

Shame on her, she even do bad jokes like "I heard Zelo slapped a fan. I heard too that he doesnt like Muslims".First of all, we are both muslims. Secondly, you only know a tinge and don't care at all about Kpop. Lastly, it is an accusation. Seriously, it's not funny. 

Yeah, most of you guys might be thinking I'm overthinking and it's just a small matter, but you know, I always think it would be fun to know that your friends respect your liking and preferences. I won't be talking much about Zelo or B.A.P, but I will tell them what are the good things I got from knowing them. B.A.P showed me the world, and they taught me things I wouldn't get if I stan any other handsome idols. 

I find Zelo very appealing, very unique. He is one of the kind, and I'm glad although he is not really popular like Sehun or Yonghwa, he is, indeed has his own directions. My biases don't have to be handsome or popular to rob my heart, because in the end, talents measure if you can stay longer in ones' heart or not. That's what I learn from every person that I knew.

My crush is also not cute, just so you know, but he has talents. He is very fond of art, and he have drew beautiful pieces that made me fell for his passion.  I have my fixed eyes on him ever since 2011, and as the days passed and his talents caught people's attention, there are girls who started to have a crush on him. I don't mind, he will never be mine, but I'm happy people have started to recognize him ^_^ I hope one day I'm able to show the world what I've got too. Just one day. Haha.

Okay so that's all.Sorry for the ranting. I need to let this out. Sigh.  

Regards, 

Sara.