Hello guys! I'm currently just graduated (or we called it as ended) my foundation days, I feel so relieved and yeah I can write back :D

Well, after all these 4 months (of hell), I finally can get over it! AHHH! FINALLY! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO! KYAH!

Well, my post today is dedicated specially for my crush. My college/foundation crush. In which I've been liking for this whole 8 months since the day I recognized him. 

Let's call him by the letter "N" here, because his name started with this letter too. 

I have one regret that I didn't do during my foundation days. 

I didn't have the courage to talk to him.

I know, I was too shy. Too embarassed, in fact, to even look into his eyes. That pair of eyes in despair. That beautiful, magnificent pair of eyes that I can;t help but fall hard into it. I must admit, even after knowing him having a girlfriend which he keeps in secret, I can't help but fall deeper into him. I'm too attracted into him. He is the first guy that draw me into this love that I've been trying so hard to avoid ever since my highschool crush that I've been so in love with. 

Some people call it obsession

Some people call it infatuation

Some people call if delusional feelings. 

I call it love. 

God knows how happy I am whenever I see him. I act cool and avoid his eyes whenever we pass by. But little did he know that I always watch him for afar. Praying to God to make him mine. That will make him see me not more than just a coursemate that he knew just from stupid posts he saw on Instagram/Twitter. Sighs. Loving a person like him is hard. 

Friends countlessly adviced me to open up to somebody else. Someone who sees me for who I am. I tried. He was my classmate. Handsome looking, good in sports, ace in words, cool and caring, but he's not what I want! Till the end of semester, I keep lying that I was in love, but it was a tactic for me to get away from my old feelings. 

And slowly, I try to forget you, N. 

N, in case you past by this post one day, 

I would like you to know that you are perfect. 

And I like you not because of your ability to play guitar,

and maybe a bit on your pretty face. 

But it is mostly on who you are. 

I've been watching you for a year now, 

And I can say, you are a nice guy. 

You are the first person I'd ever address to as my real-life Junhong.

My idol that I've loved more than myself before I meet you. 

And I wanted to be better just to let you know,

I exist. 

This might be one of those confessions you received everyday, 

But really, this is the first time I ever write out my feelings to a guy. 

Reaching you is hard, but I know it will eventually reach to you one day. 

With love,