I'll Be

Story By: GreenALiveTnS

Reviewed By: StarlightTango

Title (4/5):

At first I didn't think much of your title. It didn't look like much, since its two words. It seemed kind of boring, and not anything that would interest people. But after I read your story, I totally changed my mind. I could see why you named it that, and it was creative. I liked how you managed to weave the title in with the story. It was a good choice!

Description + Foreword (10/10) :

I could not find any fault with your description and foreword. The way you wrote it made me feel a sense of longing in Baekhyun's voice. You also wrote it creatively also. The poem was beautiful. I also liked how you managed to tell the plot, but yet not reveal anything at all. I was seriously in awe.

Originality  (13/15):

Overall I found this story to be quite original. But the whole 'love at first sight' is kind of overused. But in your story it wasn't the main thing, so I didn't mind it. I liked how you added him watching over her secretly, and her not knowing. The story was really fresh and new though.

Plot/flow of the story  (17/20):

For your plot I thought it was just lacking something. I just felt like you needed something more. For the flow of your story It was just a little too fast for me. I would have liked to read more about their interaction with each other. It just seemed not enough. How does someone know that they are in love with someone else when they only talked for like a few minutes? Doesn't seem realistic does it?

Characterization  (7/10):

I felt like your characters needed just a little more depth to them. They seemed like the typical bland characters that you see everywhere. Jiyeon was also all over the place. I couldn't really tell what she was like. Baekhyun to me seemed like a love sick puppy. I do understand that this is a one-shot, and overall it wasnt that bad.

Grammar/Spelling  (19/20):

Wow your grammar is good. I found the story easy to read, and liked that not many mistakes got in the way of me enjoying your story. But if I must say, you seem to be attached to commas. You used them too much, and sometimes there should have been a period, but you continued with a comma. Its not that important so I just took off a point. Your spelling is perfect also. I didn't see any mistakes.

Writing Style  (14/15):

I really enjoy reading your story. Which means that your writing style is quite impressive. Your word choice was good, and you described a lot so the readers can visualize your story. If I had to suggest something it would be to use some bigger words. I think that you can creatively add some better words into your story. That way you don't have to constantly repeat the same old words over and over again.

Overall enjoyment (15/20):

I felt as if the ending was rushed, and was kind of disappointed by how it ended. But most of the story I loved. It was just a beautiful story. I just cant believe it ended that way.

Extras (4/5):

The poster is so pretty, and I wanted to thank you for using a good font/font size/font color! It made the story so much easier to read!

Total (103/120)