Innocent High

Story By: EunhaeMinwook

Reviewed By: StarlightTango

Title [Is your title eye catching? Does it match your story? How well does it attract readers]: 7/10

Your title isn't bad, but its not good either. Half of me thinks that this is an okay title, but the other half doesn't like it. Innocent High sounds kind of cliche doesn't it? It also doesn't evoke much emotion besides . Which is kind of weird considering its called innocent.

Hmm...It wasn't a really creative title. People want to read something that stands out so much that it enters their brain and stays there. So in other words I don't think your title is powerful enough. It should appeal to the readers, and I this was only half appealing.

Description/Foreword [Are you properly describing your story? Is it too much, or too little? Does it give away just enough of the plot to make readers interested?]: 10/15

First of all your description wasn't that bad. The only thing I had a problem with was that you told too much of the plot. Its fine to tell about his past, but revealing too much of what's going to happen isn't good. Who wan't to read a story when they know what's going to happen? Also if you re-worded the description it might sound better.

Hyukjae is a seventeen year old boy living in a broken home. His father is an abusive drunk, his mother locked herself away was hardly ever seen while his seven year old sister still managed to smile through all of this. Things take a turn for the worst and Hyukjae finds himself on the streets of Seoul, selling himself for the money he greatly needs. But enough is enough. He cant take it anymore and Hyukjae tries to take his life. He is saved by Donghae who also had a troubled past, but can he accept Eunhyuk and all his flaws? Can he love a messed up person like him?

I just changed some of the words. Nothing much. But overall it was fine.

Appearance [Does the poster and background match the story? Is the font a good choice? Did you use colors that appeal to the eye?]: 4/5

The picture was cute. EunHae is adorable! Also the font was pretty good. Thanks for not using too many crazy colors!

Characterization [How well do your characters progress in the story? Do we understand your characters, and do they seem realistic? Are they believable, and can the readers connect with them?] : 14/15

Im amazed! I liked Eunhyuk(but Yesung is my favorite), and when I read your story I was starting to like him more and more. You really wrote him well. His character seemed to be well developed. Good job! Donghae wasn't as good as Eunhyuk, but he was still alright. I feel like this is one of your strong points. By the first few chapters I could already feel connected to them.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary [Did you spell anything wrong? Is there any grammar mistakes? Are you constantly using the same words over and over again? How well are you describing your story]: 28/30

Your grammar is really good. Nothing wrong except that you use to much commas. Its not a big deal. Another thing I have to point out is that you tend to shorten things up. Don't write like your texting. Yea is yeah. Ya is you. Your spelling is also good. I can't say much here since you did a good job.

Originality/Creativity [How different is your story from others? Is it creative, and does it interest the readers]: 5/10

Not so original. There are countless of plots like this that I've read before. EunHae is also a very popular couple for this plot. Try to make the story your own. Add some fresh new ideas, and mabye it can entertain the readers more. The way that Donghae and Eunhyuk met was quite enjoyable to read though. Also as the story progressed I found myself needing more of the story.

Plot Content/Flow [Is the story too fast? Too slow? What exactly are you writing about in your story? Are all your chapters fillers, or does it have an actual plot line]: 11/15

I feel like you need more. More things in your story. I can't believe that Eunhyuk left Donghae! Aww. I would have liked it if you wrote more about them. More about their interaction. The flow was just a tad too fast. Try to describe each scene a little more. It doesn't hurt right?

Total: 81/100