A Strangers Understanding

Story By: kpopgurl247

Reviewed By: StarlightTango

 

Title: 3/5

I find your title quite intriguing. It's not something you see everyday, and it really makes you think. I get a weird feeling from your title. I'm not sure how to explain it, whether it's a good one or not, but the fact that i can get an emotion from your title is quite impressive. I wouldn't say it's a good title, since it seems a tad boring, but it is better than some others out there. The title is the first thing a reader notices. It's the first point where they either choose to click on your story or not. From your title i don't think i would have clicked on it. It doesn't really say 'read me!'.

 

Description/Foreword: 8/10

I really thought that your description and foreword were well planned. First of all, you used the same ending for both of their stories to show how the characters connect. Such an interesting way to write! I really liked it. Second, you wrote it in a way that not many people do here. It was sort of like a poem. But there are a few things that could have been better. In your description and foreword all you did was explain about them. I didn't get anything about the plot. The description is where you describe your story. Just a little so they know what the story is going to be about. I didn't know anything besides their life. Another thing is that there are some grammar mistakes that were small, and easy to miss, but they were still there.

 

Background/Poster: 9/10

The poster was really pretty. It matched the theme of the story really well. I liked the colors, and the pictures were appropriate also. I just had a tiny problem with the fact that the background didn't match with the poster. I know it's kind of stupid, but it still stood out weirdly.

 

Originality: 13/15

I really liked the idea of this. Not that it's really new or different, but the way you wrote it made it seem so. There really are plenty of stories similar to this, yet i find myself giving you more points here that i originally planned. Maybe because your writing is different, and the way you wrote the story made it seems like something new.

 

Plot/Flow of the story: 12/20

Really, you should slow down. In three chapters a lot happened. I was reading, and then bang a lot of stuff happened. I was so confused, and wondering 'since when did this happen?'

1. Are they dating? No? Yes? What?

2. They are strangers yet...she trusts him enough to leave with him?...

3. They were just having dinner...and then what? I really am confused

I suggest taking your time, and adding more detail in your writing. Expand your vocabulary, and write more. Explain each scene before changing to another one, so that your readers can fully engage in your story.

 

Characterization: 6/10

I didn't feel like i understood your characters. It is still early to tell what your characters will be like, but from what i read...she seems a bit crazy? Unstable? Yes i know that its because of her past, but i think you might have done it just a bit too much. 

What is her name?

Minhee?

Minya?

Wah?

One person?

Two person?

Huh?

Kai...he seems weird also. Why is he so helpful of her? Someone that he just met? Overall i really didn't like your characters. They don't seem to have any human like traits. They dont seem real, and believable. I would say to not try and make them confusing, write more about them, and let the readers feel like they can relate to the characters. After all they are human.

 

Grammar/Spelling: 15/20

Your grammar isn't bad, but it's not perfect also. You tend to forget to correctly use past and present tense. So during the entire story i was wondering what happened, and what is happening. Also you used too many commas. There are times where using commas are good, but you need to use periods too! I would just re-read things over a bit, and make sure your grammar is correct. I didn't see anything wrong with your spelling.

 

Writing Style: 10/15

When you wrote in a 'poem' like way it was really good. But then when you didnt...it kind of went downhill. Your writing was okish. It wasnt anything impressive, but it wasnt bad. You could have used bigger words though. Try keeping a thesaurus by you when you write so you can look for better words.

 

Overall Enjoyment: 15/20

Not bad. It was an interesting read. But it wasn't something that i really loved either. Its just that your mistakes took away from me enjoying your story. If you fixed them i bet your story would be much better! Keep up the good work!

 

Extras: 1/5

Really nothing to say. I felt like it was something that i would read just to pass time.

 

Total:  92/125