Chapter 51: Reprecussions

It’s wonderful to exit the opera house and reenter the world where real things happen.  This chapter delivers completely on that level as the boys encounter the reactions of their classmates to their coming out.  The chapter title makes this a given, but that’s not all the fallout we witness in this chapter because we are also presented a side of Card we have only previously heard about.  This chapter is indeed an engaging read from start to finish.

The boys are walking to school early on a cloudy day so they can study before final exams, and chatting breezily about whatever crosses their minds.  As they approach the school gate, Earn expresses surprise that Choi and Odd showed such curiosity about their relationship.  Pete reminds him that Por reacted the same way when he first learned about them, and they share a hearty laugh over Por’s unique ability to be crass and inappropriate.  It seems Hack and Dirk expressed admiration for them, giving Pete a great feeling of pride and satisfaction.  The aftermath of their announcement continues to be felt in the air around them.  Pete‘s not sure if it’s animosity or his own lingering insecurity, but he’s content as long as Earn and his friends are by his side.

On their way to their classroom, they are eagerly approached by two of the Angels, Bell and Chanel, who are positively gushing that Pete and Earn have given into fan requests and started acting like a couple.  Our boys are confused about what they mean, and it takes a bit of explaining by the Angels before they understand that there has been a fan group shipping them as a couple for quite some time (they are even shown a picture of them together from the fan page) and is happy for their fan service announcement.  Pete and Earn’s shock throws Bell and Chanel off balance and they ask if this means they won’t continue to act like a couple for the fans, but their question has the same effect on Pete.  Earn finally declares that Pete is his boyfriend and that they’re really dating as lovers.  Confused, the pair asks if Pete is straight, mentioning his ex-girlfriend, as well as Earn saying he had a girlfriend.  As the reality clarifies and the fogs begins to lift, Bell and Chanel go ballistic with excitement and start composing risqué and embellished newsflash headlines for the fan page, before Pete and Earn put their feet down and quash it all.  This is followed by a sober explanation regarding who plays which role in their relationship (basically that they’re both guys and that’s how they treat each other).  Bell and Chanel are sort of disbelieving that Pete and Earn are just husbands to each other, but the boys are adamant not to be categorized and labeled, although they’re fine confirming their status.  In the end Bell and Chanel are satisfied, but Pete just can’t get over the experience because he never expected anything like it to happen as a result of their coming out.

The first encounter with the world’s reaction is about exactly what Pete declares at the end.  When you come out (either individually or together) there are going to be reactions from people you never imagined that will leave you with your jaw on the floor.  In this first case, the boys had a positive encounter, albeit with some moments of discomfort, shock, and insecurity.  The story makes the point that coming out essentially results in being defined by the world around you.  Bell and Chanel’s reaction is friendly fire, but still requires a response by the boys.  The experience allows the boys to demand to be seen as they see themselves and stake out the ground upon which they want to be identified and defined. 

After Bell and Chanel depart, Pete and Earn continue on their way, each with phones in hand scrolling, through the fan page.  Pete expresses his frustration that many people don’t see them as a couple even while they are plastered all over their wall, but Earn’s reaction is decidedly direct when he tells Pete that’s their problem.  Pete’s surprised at the reaction, but embraces the wisdom of it noting they came out for their own benefit and not everyone else’s.  There’s a cute link to a video that ties into the story and some surreal storytelling playfulness that should not be missed that creates a delightful moment of intimacy between them.  Suddenly, Por is making a loud and obnoxious entrance on the scene as he forces himself between the pair and throwing an arm over each of their shoulders.  Pete complains about the intrusion on their moment while Earn adds that they don’t interrupt Por when he’s with Josie in the same way.  Por snaps back that they’re in a place of learning not flirting.  Pete jokingly asks when was the last time Por was at school so early and Por tells him he’s early so he can study because not everyone has a private tutor he can also sleep with.  Earn announces Por’s imminent demise and chases him down the hallway, leaving Pete shaking his head as he realizes that he’s in love with a child who may never grow up.  Pete immediately gives chase and they practically fall into the room through the doorway.  Instead of the typical chaos and accompanying boisterous conversation, they look up into silence and the returned stares of their classmates.  Pete issues a questioning greeting to the room while Earn comments that they should have been instructed by their parents that it’s impolite to stare, before spying Por and continuing with the chase.

As Pete approaches his desk where Card is talking to Chad and Tee, it is Card who is the first in the room to return Pete’s greeting.  Pete makes small talk about everyone being early and Card responds plainly that it’s to be expected since it’s finals week.  Card and Pete continue on as normal, but Chad cuts Card off, insisting they discuss the elephant in the room.  Card shifts his attention to Chad, reminding him of his dislike at being cutoff while speaking, but Tee jumps in asking why he is acting so normal.  Card and Tee verbally dodge and parry momentarily before Pete finally cuts in telling Tee, while referring to himself in the third person, that if he has a question for Pete, then he should ask Pete.  As the room looks on, Chad explains that they are all taken off guard by Pete and Earn’s announcement.  Tee expresses his happiness for them, but also a feeling of being left out.  Pete attempts to apologize, but it falls sort of flat.  With Earn in the background smacking Por silly, Card speaks up to suggest they treat Pete and Earn as they always have since they are still the same people, they just know more about them now.   Pete seconds Card, stating he and Earn are the same people they were a week ago, and knowing that they are a couple shouldn’t change anything.  When Tee expresses the feeling of being lied to, Pete opens himself up to any questions that would clear the air.  This invitation allows for a series of questions and answers that span Tee and Leslie’s chance encounter with Pete and Earn in the mall, to Pete’s previous girlfriend status followed by Pete’s open and honest disclosure of his past, including being bis*xual.  Earn enters the conversation with a direct characterization of Pete’s ending with Lhew and starting up with him which initiates a playful interaction with Pete that causes Chad to observe that nothing is really different with them. 

Earn throws the opportunity to ask questions out to the entire room which results in about half the desks being pulled toward them, such that they naturally take a few steps back.  The group’s questions are simple and benign at first and the answers are a recapitulation of Pete and Earn’s history together from friendship to relationship.  Eventually the questions enter Por territory and get detailed and personal.  The boys find answering these questions tedious, and note that their listeners seem to fall into skeptical, accepting, and disappointed camps.  Pete’s s*xuality gets special attention, and keen interest is expressed to uncover if he’s constantly being surrounded by boys all day and girls outside of school (which Earn snorts about considering the truth of the matter).  Some accuse Pete of being greedy, but Pete defends himself that while he may find boys and girls attractive, that doesn’t mean he finds every boy and girl attractive.  Pete also notes that of the group that didn’t join in the conversation, he’s aware that some are not same-s*x friendly, since they’ve previously criticized the decision to let the Angel participate in the Cheer Club.  Others in the group are okay with gay people in general, but just aren’t interested.  Pete figures that if Card wasn’t their friend, he’d fall into this group.  They field all the questions with the help of Por and Card, and Pete comes away feeling that with everything out in the open, the air clears and everyone returns to their usual patterns of behavior.  Even Tee is back to his usual self.

So goes round two of close encounters with the real world, and the boys seem pleased with the outcome.  This crowd clearly was not as sympathetic as Bell and Chanel, and required more information and more discussion before settling down and adjusting to the new Pete-Earn status quo.  What’s exceptional and needs special shout out is the situation with Chad and Tee, Tee especially.   This is the issue of having a good friend who somehow gets hurt by the coming out news having obviously felt that he deserved to know before the public at large.  Some people are immature in this respect, but sometimes it’s a matter of a person feeling that they fell within a circle of friends, and are put off by finding out otherwise.  Sometimes it’s the holders of knowledge who make a mistake and overlook an important person as they focus on their own issues.  At any rate, this is a great inclusion in the story which makes all the more real.  (As an aside, there is also an interesting observation included regarding Pete and Earn’s psychology about their coming out.  They agreed to do so with the intention of changing everyone’s perception of each of them as single and available, figuring it would make their life as a couple easier in the long run.  The irony is that Pete makes the argument to Chad and Tee that even though they’ve announced they’re a couple, nothing has changed.  Therein lies the rub because while nothing has changed for Pete and Earn personally, everything has changed for Pete and Earn socially.  You can’t control how people will react when you present them with information.)  Beyond this, Pete’s description of the group that didn’t take part in the discussion is informative and shows that he’s well aware that challengers still exist and likely always will.  The purposeful classroom conversation allows Pete to clear the air on certain preconceptions regarding homos*xuality and bis*xuality, but does so authentically and organically.  From the minute they entered the classroom, I had no difficulty imagining that I was sitting there watching and hearing everything described.  This is very nicely written and addresses some very real issues for gay and bis*xual individuals as they struggle to be understood and not defined by preexisting notions of who they are or should be.

Pete turns to show special gratitude to Card for his support, and Card tells him it’s the least he could do after what they did for him over the past weekend.  This leads Pete into a reverie about their post-concert experiences.  After a change of clothes, they headed out to meet up at the bar only to find Card well on in the celebration and Lhew decidedly absent from the scene.  It was Por who told them that Lhew had met with Ngaw for a date, a fact that didn’t surprise Pete at all considering what he caught watching Lhew sing on stage earlier and the fact that Ngaw had silenced a couple of the folks jeering at her (hence the bruised face).  Needless to say, Card got so drunk that night they had to take him home.  They basically ended up staying over at his house all weekend until Sunday afternoon.  It both helped Card and kept their minds off thinking about public reactions to their announcement at the same time.  Pete is drawn back to reality as the teacher enters and shortly thereafter dismisses class and the group heads off to an early lunch.  An obnoxious friend by the name of Yok keeps asking Pete if they really aren’t constantly doing it, and Pete keeps repeating the same negative answer in exasperation.  Yok asks again if their s*x life isn’t constant since they’re both dudes and no one’s stopping anyone, and Earn just says he wishes that was true, getting him an FU and a punch on the shoulder from Pete.  Next Por chimes in, telling Yok that Pete and Earn like rabbits, earning him a swift kick under the table from Pete as well.  Yok makes another smart remark and Pete threatens him as well, but Card soon arrives asking what he missed while standing in line.  After a mini food fight directed at Pete takes place, and Pete tells Earn to stop sulking,  Earn tells him that he’ll stop when Pete finally buy something very important that he still hasn’t done (he’s referring to condoms which indicates that their s*x life has been deficient lately).  Pete is a bit surprised by Earn’s remark since they both know how busy they’ve been lately.  The topic is dropped when Pete realizes that he forgot to buy something to drink and Earn jumps up volunteering to get it for him.  Pete gives him some money and then sits watching him from a distance while he tries to cut into the line to no avail.

Suddenly Pete feels something heavy push him against the table and hears someone tell him to ‘Watch it fagg0t’ as he turns to see the fellow junior who shoved him.  Pete’s a bit thrown off and responds uncomprehendingly, so the boy loudly insinuates that Pete heard him, getting everyone’s attention.  Por stands immediately demanding the ‘er’ repeat his statement, but the guy just asks incredulously if Por’s going to defend ‘this gay’ who is admired by underclassmen so is basically sending them a message saying…  This time Pete is up pushing the guy’s shoulder and demanding what he means, so the guy pushes him back saying that Pete is telling the underclassmen that they should be a fagg0t like he is.  They get into an escalation of taunts (that are pretty nasty and way too clever) which results with the two facing each other with raised fists.  Before they take a go at each other, Card is suddenly spinning the guy to face him while holding a lunch tray in the other hand.  Decrying that the guy is ‘annoying as ’ Card smashes the tray into his face knocking him backwards.  Everything happens at once in Pete’s mind as Card quickly knocks the guy cold with another great smash with the tray.  The guy’s friends descend upon Card, but he’s too quick, and uses the tray to block a fist while simultaneously blocking a kick with his foot and then breaking the tray over another guy’s head.  He spins the last guy into a right hook and stands victorious before Por and Pete can even flinch.  A small group of their friends moves forward from the side, but Pete and Por turn toward them just as Earn bursts in between them telling them ‘ENOUGH.’   A school official immediately appears to haul Card and the beaten boys to the office.  The two groups remaining head to neutral corners while Card gives his friends the nod to finish eating.  Confident he can handle himself, the boys gulp down their lunches and wrap Card’s up before heading to the office, explaining what happened to Earn along the way.  As the group waits outside the office, they discuss the last time they saw Card beat someone so badly.  It seems it was years before when some kid was badmouthing Card’s real mother with an extremely distasteful and unnecessary slander.  At the time, only Por knew Card’s mother had passed away.   At any rate, the kid ended up with a concussion and Card was gone from school for a month.  His father’s financial status paved the way for Card’s return as if it never happened, and the boys helped cheer him up and visited him to keep up on classes.  The thought enters Pete’s head as to what had driven Card’s behavior this time, but before he can entertain it further, the group is approached by Card’s father.

The last round of public reaction to Pete and Earn coming out is by far the harshest and unfortunately both a reality and near certainty in life.  Although acceptance levels vary across the world, even in countries that generally show tolerance and acceptance toward same-s*x members of society, there exist rejectionists.  The perpetrator in this story is never mentioned by name, and in this way becomes a stand in for all unprovoked gay bashers who approach and attack someone anonymously. The case here represents not only a person who is provocative and physically violent, but also morally self-righteous and judgmental.  The assailant attributes dubious motives to Pete without evidence, while implying moral superiority for rejecting those motives.  Pete’s anger getting the best of him and drawing him into an insult match is probably what would happen to most of us, and at that point, with the initial pushing fresh in mind, escalation is the likely outcome.  The message is that you can’t reason with some people because they are too close-minded.  They only understand one kind of response, which in this story comes out of left field as Card vanquishes the aggressors.  We get the result we want, but for more reasons than we bargained for.

Card’s father addresses the boys, and they sheepishly greet the formally attired businessman as he explains his presence as attributed to ‘Cardwell’s disruptive behavior during an early lunch break.’  He shares his belief that certain details of the incident remain unspoken and the boys take turns accepting partial responsibility for the events that led up to Card’s actions.  After hearing their words, he points out that his son is not usually the first to act, but Por explains that they don’t know what motivated his actions.  As he confidently enters the office to resolve matters, he turns and asks the boys to collect Card’s personal effects and inform his instructors.  Por volunteers to get Card’s stuff and Pete says that since it was his fault Card is in this mess, he wants to tell his instructors.  Earn stops him though, pointing out that if he tells the instructors that, they may want to call Pete’s parents and he’s just now getting back into their good graces.  Pete opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Earn insists that taking the task himself is the least he can do to thank Card for looking out for his boyfriend.  Pete concedes, and lets him know he’ll tell Card they are both thankful.  Earn smiles and gives Pete a thumbs-up, but Pete can see beneath the façade that Earn is stressed and guilty.  He is after all, the one who defends the down trodden and picked on.  Pete sits waiting, determined to express his gratitude to Card first thing, but he also has another concern on his mind. 

When Card emerges from the office he’s low key and nonplussed by events and explains to Pete that he tuned out most of the lecturing.  Following some small talk, Pete places a hand on his shoulder and expresses a heartfelt thanks to Card.  Card tells him not to get so cheesy, but Pete tightens his grip slightly and tells him Earn is grateful too.  At the mention of Earn, Card acknowledges that he must feel pretty guilty.  Pete confirms Card’s deduction, but assures him that they are all really more concerned about him.  Card shrugs Pete off telling him not to get so sappy then whips out his phone and sinks his face into the screen repeating that it was the least he could do after they helped him out.  Pete realizes the echo of this phrase and decides to approach the concern he’s been harboring.  Pete wades in slowly, eventually asking Card what’s been going on with him over the past few days.  Card is silent and non-reactive, so Pete is drawn into a more direct line of questions as Card is slowly coaxed into a discussion.  Card avoids the heart of the matter for a while, but Pete’s persistent questions finally draw him into dropping the bomb that he and Lhew had s*x.  Pete is shocked at hearing this admission and a mix of surprise, betrayal, jealousy, happiness, relief, and delight hit him all at once.  He tries to understand his reactions, but Card’s question about him being upset breaks his train of thought.  He admits to Card that he is a little upset, but clarifies that it’s not for the reasons he likely thinks.

Ashamed and disappointed in himself, Card asks Pete why he’s upset.  Pete relates that it’s kind of like Tee’s reaction when he found out about him and Earn, admitting that they had so many opportunities to tell him, yet left him out in the end.  Card apologizes and admits he’s been lost in the whole thing himself.  Eventually Pete prompts him to explain what happened, and Card tells him when and what led up to their love making.  It’s an angsty tale of Lhew feeling nostalgic, lonely, and emotionally vulnerable while hanging out at Card’s house with the addition of alcohol.  The upshot is that after being intimate, Lhew was too afraid to go down the same road with Card that she had with Pete, so nothing came of it.  Card admits that he tried to deny he actually developed feelings for her out of the encounter, and that doing so was a mistake.  The reality is that Lhew made her decision about them and moved on, and is now back together with Ngaw.  Card tells Pete that he and Earn are lucky as hell, then touchingly explains, saying that in the end, the person Pete loves, loves him back.  Pete endearingly offers Card a pledge of support in return which Card formally notes.  The talk turns to explaining all of this to their friends.  In the end Card offers to tell Por and convinces Pete that it’s best for him to explain it to Earn.  In short order, Pete spies Earn emerging from the teacher’s lounge with an expression of confidence on his face.  Earn calls out to Card and rushes over thanking him profusely for defending them.  Card is embarrassed, but plays down the whole thing by philosophically asking what friends are for.

Earn sits and places Pete’s arm around his shoulder and Por arrives momentarily with Card’s belongings.  They ask him what happened and he retells the story in greater detail.  The boys are initially shocked but then humored by Card’s tale knowing that only he could get off so easily.  Minutes later, Card’s father exits the counselor’s office and, much to their astonishment, sees the counselor groveling toward him.  His father explains that Card will be absent until exams and that he shall pay any medical bills for the hurt boys and will replace the broken tray (actually all the school’s trays).  Earn and Por report on completing their assignments, for which they are thanked.  Card and his father commence their departure and Por decides to accompany them to the parking lot, making plans to meet up with Pete and Earn in the library later.  After their departure, Pete explains to Earn everything about Card and Lhew and why Card has been acting strange of late.  Earn is impressed by the burden Card has been carrying and asks how he managed to keep up such a happy face after reliving the experience while explaining it to Pete.  Pete explains that Card found strength and encouragement from watching them face the fallout from their announcement and knowing that even though they almost broke up, in the end, they are together because they love each other.  The enormity of Card’s reasoning impresses them immensely and in the shadow of this, Pete raises a concern of his own that he’s been carrying around.  He explains to Earn that since they are committed to each other, perhaps they should be checked.  Earn’s momentary silence and the stunned expression on his face send Pete into a mini panic, but when Earn speaks, it’s to agree completely and insist they do it together.  Earn holds out his hand and Pete accepts it as they head onward to their destination filled with hope.

The Card bomb dropped in this chapter is a compelling development that elucidates the events from the last chapter while revealing a side of Card that rarely sees the light.  It turns out that Card’s material life is rich, but his emotional life is pretty lean.  He harbors an emotional past inclusive of a traumatizing experience in the schoolyard involving degrading insults aimed at his deceased mother.  This emotional wound has rendered him exceptionally sensitive to the importance of supportive friends and an equally single-minded reciprocity.  His recent weekend of despair where his three friends stuck by him and supported him when they did not even know what was really going on no doubt reminded him of their importance.  Beyond that, Card looked to Pete and Earn for inspiration.  They had nearly crashed their relationship, yet survived the challenge to become a symbol that love can and does win over adversity.  For a guy who appears emotionally defensive on the surface by acting so severe and detached all of the time, underneath lies a surprisingly mature center of clarity.  His emotional wisdom informs him that he can be hurt and hurt badly, but his outward look toward Pete and Earn gird him with hope for pursuing future possibilities.

Pete and Earn are going to get checked.  Is this code for being HIV tested?  Just kidding.  This idea has no doubt hatched in Pete’s mind in relation to the current dearth they’re experiencing, but this marks another big step for them as a couple.  I’d like to believe that there are not going to be any horrible surprises as a result of the testing, and can only imagine where the story is going afterward.  Thank you for another wonderful, intelligent, and insightful installment.