Chapter 57: Pharmacamp 2

This chapter is the conclusion of the Pharmacamp arc and as such, picks up with the Red Team being announced as the winner.  As Noh openly celebrates his team’s victory, Earn stands by dumbfounded as Pete looks on, feeling a sharp pain in his chest.  As Pete turns to head towards the restroom, he hears Phun’s voice trailing him from behind.  After kicking the wall and yelling ‘Sh*t’ repeatedly, he hears the same voice tell him to stop.  Pete barks back telling Phun not to tell him what to do but Phun repeats himself and grabs Pete by the shoulders to spin him around before asking what’s gotten into him.  Pete makes it clear that they both saw the same thing but Phun persists in trying to get him to calm down.  Pete demands to know why Phun is so calm after seeing Earn and Noh kiss but Phun remains practical and notes that, with all things considered, what they witnessed was not to be unexpected.  Pete’s still won’t have any of that, and even after Phun points out that hitting the wall won’t accomplish anything, Pete shoots back that it’s doing wonders for him before repeating the action a few more times.  After a few moments though, Pete regains his composure and apologizes.  Phun comments that he’s surprised by Pete’s reaction because he’s always known him to be calm but Pete responds that he’s surprised that Phun is so laid back since he and Noh are so lovey dovey in public but deny their relationship, he expected Phun to be more insecure.  At this point, Phun admits he is a bit insecure but notes that he’s been through a few bumps like this before, so he’s got some perspective.  They share a joke about chocking it up to experience and Pete thanks Phun for his comfort and support.  From here, Phun suggests they get an explanation and move forward accordingly but Pete asks him how he really feels about the situation.  At first, Phun is puzzled, so Pete spells it out by noting that Earn has been hanging around with them, especially Noh, the entire trip and Pete wants to know if Phun is bothered by this.  Phun explains that even though they’ve liked each other for some time, he and Noh have just recently started dating as boyfriends.  Phun explains that he’s not that hurt by what they saw because he knows that Noh doesn’t like Earn the way Pete likes Earn.  Pete listens to Phun’s words and understands his meaning but when Phun asks him how he feels, Pete admits that he’s clearly not happy, adding that besides Earn, things in his personal life are a sh*tstorm.  Tellingly, Pete admits that he’s not as secure with Earn as Phun is with Noh.  When Phun asks about their coming out at the Year End Concert, Pete confirms that they did do that but then allows his deep insecurity to push out that he doesn’t know if the love Earn has for him is greater in comparison to his obsession with Noh, before adding that he’s not particularly fond of Noh because of that.  Pete quickly apologizes but Phun is understanding and admits he wasn’t fond of Earn’s constant flirting with Noh but believes it’s all mostly in the past, noting they’ve gotten past that part in their relationship.  Phun then suggests that perhaps he and Earn should have cleared such issues up before publically announcing their relationship.  In the face of Phun’s comment, Pete remains silent in defeat.

This is a really wonderful exchange between Pete and Phun, and in spite of Pete’s emotionality, it’s a clear, mature, and honest one at that.  I love the idea of the two former adversaries (although it was mostly from Pete’s side) helping each other.  I also like the idea that these two somewhat similar and like-minded characters are sort of acting like two halves of the same brain in addressing the situation they’ve just witnessed.  Better still, I particularly like how the differences in the Phun-Noh and Pete-Earn relationships are brought into the conversation as a way of lighting a path forward for them both.  The highlight, of course, is the general brilliance of having the cross-relationship attraction become the forging event for pulling these two together.  Pete and Phun would likely never have become such allies or exchanged such support but for this situation, which, I wish to point out, is a very real life learning event.  I can think of any number of unexpected events in my own life that have forced me to reflect, reevaluate and ultimately reframe my understanding of people and situations in just such a manner.  This is a complex path these characters are travelling and it’s being done within this story’s context as it traverses the minefield laid by the series.  At the end of the conversation, Pete is humbled by the reality Phun pointed out to him and the task that awaits him in hashing it out with Earn.

Phun turns to rejoin the others grouped now by their colors but before doing so, offers Pete his willingness to be a listening post along with a pledge not to hold any grievances.  Pete thanks him but admits that he’s petty and won’t lighten up regarding his opinions of Noh anytime soon.  Phun finds Pete’s response fair enough and, expresses the hope of changing Pete’s mind before moving towards an open spot behind Earn and Noh, while Pete takes a moment to wash his face and regain his composure.  As water drips from his chin, he recognizes that his habit of pushing his negative thoughts out with happier ones is catching up to him, admitting that when he’s most stressed is when tries to forget.  He’s done this both with being unsure whether his parents care more about his grades than him and whether Earn’s past feelings for Noh outweigh his love for him.   Pete takes pride in being rational and despises it when these irrational thoughts and feelings take over.  He considers Phun’s words and decides that he needs to assess everything and shouldn’t leave things unresolved.  He exits the restroom and spies an open spot next to Phun behind Earn and Noh and heads towards it.  As Pete approaches, he watches as Phun stands up abruptly after listening to something exchanged between Noh and Earn.  Noh’s distressed face and Earn’s look of worry loom as a bad omen.  As Phun passes, Pete asks him what happened but Phun only tells him that his boyfriend is an idiot as he storms off.  Pete continues toward Noh and Earn but, just as he arrives, dinner is announced and everyone rises and the pair is surprised when they turn around and face Pete.  Earn tells him he had been wondering where he went and Noh comments that he noticed Pete disappeared after the game.  Pete replies that he needed to use the bathroom and Noh begins to speak but is cutoff by Ohm whining about how hungry he and the rest of their crew is. Noh hesitantly begs off, much to Pete’s annoyance at his indecisiveness.

Pete indicates they should go eat while wrapping an arm around Earn’s shoulder and pulling him along.  Earn accedes as Noh bleats a weak farewell and Pete dismissively waves back as they depart.  Earn starts to meekly address Pete, haltingly trying to tell him something about Noh but Pete goes straight at it and admits seeing Earn and Noh kiss.  Earn immediately blurts out a denial that they kissed, then admits their lips touched but assures Pete that it had no meaning.  Pete grips his shoulder and responds that he knows it was an accident.  He tells his Panda that he’s not upset with either him or Noh but before he can finish his thought, Earn asserts that they should just forget the whole thing, eat, shower, and head to bed in preparation for the big day tomorrow before they head home the day after.  Pete agrees and they line up for food and then sit down to an awkward dinner.  They try to chit chat but Pete’s emotions get the better of him as he realizes that Earn never actually apologized for what happened nor did he even describe his take on the situation.  Feeling like paranoia is taking over, Pete places his bowl down and catches sight of Earn touching his lips, looking lost.  Without thinking, Pete asks if he’s thinking about Noh.  In an annoyed tone, Earn wants to know why he’s asking, so Pete replies that he’s curious because Earn has been touching his lips for the past hour and he wants to know if it’s related to Noh.  Earn tells him that he’s already stopped thinking of Noh and so should Pete in a tone that makes him sound like he’s been caught doing something wrong.  Pete shoots back that he knows it’s an old topic but he’s concerned because he cares.  Earn implores him to not to ask any more questions, and that he thinks nothing of Noh.  Steaming with emotions, Pete snarls that he won’t ask more questions while his frustration over Earn’s avoidance of the topic mushrooms.  

This last segment marks the place where our story begins to suffer its greatest strain under the weight of the series.  In our story, Pete and Earn are in love, out as a couple and proud.  Currently Pete is emotionally bereft, conflicted, confused, and besieged by events in his personal life.  This scenario is striving to pave the way for the strained interactions between Pete and Earn as well as between Earn and Noh.  The series storyline, that’s playing out here, turns on the Earn-Noh axis to further with Phun-Noh, while simultaneously hinting that Pete and Earn have more than feelings of friendship between them.  It is hard to mesh our story with the scenes from Pharamcamp in a truly convincing way, although a gallant attempt is being made to do just that.  Add in the Yuri-Pete interactions and you’ve got a very messy and rather implausible scenario in just the series itself, let alone how it relates to having our story layered on top of it.

Pete hears Yuri coming up behind them and turns to see her approaching with her friends.  This move prompts Earn to grab his arm and repeat that he doesn’t want Pete to hang out with her and that they agreed to stick together.  Pete throws back the same line Earn just gave him about Noh when he tells Earn that he doesn’t think anything of her before shaking off Earn’s grip and walking towards her.  The inevitably predictable overly friendly/borderline flirtatious conversation between them takes place with Pete volunteering to clean their dessert dishes for them but not before first asking the whereabouts of Yuri’s nametag.  This allows Yuri to issue forth a cute display of spritely energy as she pulls it from under her shirt and waves it proudly.  After the girls depart, the scene shifts to Earn being predictably annoyed at what he’s just witnessed.  This sets into motion a back and forth conversation in which Earn expresses his displeasure. Pete asks if he’s jealous, Earn denies that he is, and Pete denies any interest in Yuri while Earn acts skeptical.  They both leave this exchange feeling hurt and they wind down the night by showering separately, then brushing their teeth, followed by treating each other to deafening silence while Pete slides into feeling paranoid.  Deciding he’s missed or ignored some major issue between them, Pete ponders that they failed to foresee how reemerging crushes and obsessions would become obstacles for their relationship.  In the past, he had commented about finding Yuri cute, and coupled with Earn’s obsession with Noh, these issues are eating at each of them.  When they return to the sleeping area, Pete decides to set his alarm and charge his phone, and while doing so, gets a text from Lhew asking how he’s been doing since their last exchange.  The upshot is that he tells her about the Earn-Noh kiss, and in spite of the event, he manages to exchange a joke about it with Lhew.  She asks if they talked about it and he tells her they decided to drop it but then confesses they’ve been pretty cold to each other ever since.  Lhew suggests he ask Earn how he feels and tells him to share his own feelings with Earn before she signs off.

Pete calls to his Panda whose face immediately brightens when he hears his nickname.  However, when Pete asks Earn if he trusts him, Earn’s expression falls into instant distain and he mutters something about not knowing what to think of Pete for asking such a thing and gets up to shut off the lights.  The room goes dark and he returns to his bed, gives a brief goodnight nod, and wraps himself in his blanket.  Confused, Pete lays on his back staring upward, trying to figure out what Earn meant by his reply or if he misinterpreted Pete’s question.  Unable to contain himself, Pete turns on his side and calls out to Earn again asking if he trusts him.  Earn rolls his eyes in annoyance, proclaims Pete as irritating, and rolls to face the wall saying they’ll talk about it tomorrow.  The quiet night turns depressing as Pete realizes that this marks the first night in a long time that they haven’t slept the night away cuddling.  He can’t tell whether Earn wants distance from him or if it’s because it would be inappropriate to cuddle in a room full of guys sleeping.  Thinking Earn wouldn’t care about being surrounded by others, only deepens his negativity.  Pete’s mood isn’t helped by the sounds of Phun sneaking beneath Noh’s covers to cuddle with him because it draws the inevitably unflattering comparison with his current predicament with Earn.  He believed he and Earn were so solid compared to Phun and Noh who hadn’t even come out publicly.  The thought of Earn only feet away and clearly annoyed at him, along with all his other personal problems, make Pete wish he could play some music to fall asleep faster.  He drifts off with the hope of resolving everything the next day.

Of course, the morning arrives with Pete being awakened by Noh’s heavy arm and leg landing on top of him, creating a negative reaction from Pete and a general commotion by the others around them thereafter.  Earn stirs to life and greets Pete calmly.  Pete asks if he had a good sleep but gets a harsh no before Earn’s demeanor shifts and he explains he didn’t have anyone to hug all night.  Pete jovially calls him an idiot and hits him over the head, explaining that it wouldn’t have been a problem if he hadn’t had his back turned all night.  Before Earn can finish telling Pete that he likes to show his back end to Pete’s front, Pete hits him again with a pillow while calling him a dumba*s.  Suddenly, Em is shouting that someone killed him while waiving his nametag in the air, sending a wave of concern and panic through the room.  Pete checks his nametag from under his pillow to find it’s intact then hears Ohm berate Em for not looking after his sh*t while pulling his own out from under his shirt.  Em retorts with ‘Don’t lecture me, gay sh*t.’  Pete senses that despite of the prior evening, things have returned to a more congenial feeling between them.  After showering, they head to the canteen and end up eating with Joke since Phun has been wandering off with Noh and his friends.  After breakfast, the organizers encourage everyone to get into their colored groups but Pete doesn’t think many will comply.  With a better outlook than the prior day, the boys gear up for a dirty day.

Pete and Earn chat amiably as the mass of campers hike toward the planting site.  Earn seems to hold out hope that they will be planting palm trees but Pete tries in vain to use knowledge and reason to dissuade him from his devotion to his favorite tree.  Earn even goes so far to proclaim that after he graduates from university he’ll make it possible to grow them everywhere.  Pete pokes fun at him calling him an insane botanist but Earn prefers the term mad scientist.  The students are then broken into their colors groups and taken to a small clearing in the forest where the planting procedure is explained.  Pete finds himself next to Phun, who looks somewhat abandoned, while Yuri is sitting and chatting with some friends.  Pete notices Noh sitting next to Earn a ways in front of them.  Noh seems to be dozing off and weaving a bit from side to side as he catches himself.  Pete hears Earn being overly nice to him and assuring him that he’ll wake him up, all of which pisses Pete off.  When the lecture is over, Pete notices Noh is sound asleep.  He wants to drag Earn to the planting area but Earn stays behind to wake Noh up.  Due to a misunderstanding, Noh thanks Earn for handing him a handkerchief Phun gave him andS Pete and Phun glare at their boyfriends respectively.  Eventually, Noh and Earn end up walking ahead of Pete and Phun along the trail and Pete decides to try to speak to Phun and make light of their shared situation.  Phun tries to put on a face to hide his feelings but Pete calls him on it.  Pete asks him what the hell was up with last night but Phun plays his cards close to his chest.  Pete tells him to stop playing dumb and notes that he and Noh where cuddling next to him all night and making him feel uncomfortable as hell.  Phun haughtily denies Pete’s assertion and insinuates he was dreaming, so Pete recounts that Noh hugged him and pressed his up against his leg early in the morning.  This grabs Phun’s full attention as he swings his head to question Pete but Pete assures him that he doesn’t find Noh the slightest bit attractive even while relishing having caught Phun completely off guard.  Phun remarks that he’s not worried about Pete going after Noh but his husband.  The realization that this situation remains unresolved hits Pete like a splash of cold water and asks Phun how it was he cuddled Noh all night after walking away from him in fury earlier in the day.  Phun explains that what he heard Noh say to Earn pissed him off, and after being prompted by Pete, tells Pete what Noh said to Earn about Earn kissing him a hundred times his feelings for him would never change.  Pete is kind of aghast, and Phun tells him he was initially angry and jealous too, not only at Noh but at himself for trusting him.  Phun goes on to explain that since hearing that he’s composed his thoughts and decided that it isn’t Noh he should be worrying about but other people.  Pete immediately recognizes the reasoning on display and quickly tells Phun that’s not the best reasoning to deploy, pointing out that seeing everyone else as untrustworthy can lead you to hurt the one you love instead.  Phun remains unconvinced but Pete points out that when you say you trust everyone around the person you care about most, it ends up sounding like you don’t trust them either.  Hearing this, Phun asks Pete what he suggests, so Pete tells him his advice is be sure of his own feelings and confirm Noh’s for him.  Phun thanks Pete for his advice and Pete rests a hand on his shoulder while Phun grins at him appreciatively.  

This elicits an annoyingly inappropriate comment, shouted by Ohm, directed primarily at Phun, and Pete questions Phun how he can stand having Ohm around Noh so much.  Phun tells him that Ohm wasn’t like this until about a week ago and he’s been meaning to say something to Noh about it but Noh told him to ignore it.  Pete wonders aloud how Noh and Earn can tolerate the crap Ohm spews and Phun suggests that they can talk to him while they’ve got the chance but decide to split up with Pete taking the Ohm assignment while Phun advances to deal with Earn and Noh.  A fist bump seals the agreement and Pete drops back to let Ohm and his friends catch up.  Upon seeing Pete, Ohm addresses him as pretty boy but Pete responds by addressing all the boys around him by name, ending by addressing Ohm as Dumba*s.  All the boys greet Pete in kind, while Ohm whines in response and his friends laugh at his reaction.  Pete engages them in conversation by asking them what’s up and they start to complain about walking for so long before they turn on Ohm to make fun of him trying to get P’Praew and P’Best’s phone numbers and repeatedly striking out.  The boys take turns bashing Ohm for his repeated failures with the two girls.  When Pete playfully joins the bandwagon, Ohm snipes back about Pete switching to guys because they’re easier which causes his friends to gasp.  Pete makes an open comment about having had a girlfriend but had never heard about Ohm having had one which only makes him turn red.  Pete explains that he didn’t give up on girls, he just found the person he loves but Ohm dismissively calls him a fagg0t.  In response to this insult, Pete makes an impassioned case that s*xual orientation is irrelevant and is neither bad nor degrading.  One of the boys pipes up to the effect that they are just ing round but Pete points out that they make it seem as something to be ashamed of.  Another of the group jumps in to claim that it’s all in good fun and everyone knows they don’t mean anything by it but Pete questions this assertion and indirectly references Noh when telling the group that their friend seems quiet and uncomfortable when his best friend says sh*t like that.  He then asks them why they think Noh’s embarrassed to be open with who he likes before adding that he’d feel the same way if his friends constantly used fagg0t and gay boy as an insult.  Ohm growls back at Pete telling him that he knows nothing about their friendship or how they talk to each other but Pete stands his ground noting that, from an outsider’s perspective, he can see Ohm’s sh*t crystal clear.  Ohm cracks his knuckles and issues a verbal challenge to Pete, and Pete readies himself as he replies that someone had to shut Ohm’s mouth and that he doesn’t really care if it’s via Ohm being unconscious or his fist in Ohm’s mouth.  As Ohm and Pete glare at each other, a body jumps between them and Keng faces Pete and admits that he’s right.  The adversaries are both a bit surprised so Keng explains that he’s been quiet about it but he thinks Pete’s correct on the issue.  Another boy asks Keng why he’s siding with Pete and Keng points out that Pete’s actually more concerned about their friend’s feelings that they are which has the effect of shutting them up.  In spite of understanding Keng’s point, Ohm still expresses his desire to punch Pete in the face even though he’s Earn’s wife.  Keng replies soberly that, in that case, he’s going to side with Pete and hit Ohm back and then goes on to question Ohm on why he’s been throwing “fagg0t” and other rude crap around like candy since finals.  At this point, Ohm backs down and after Pete remarks how unexpectedly easy that was, Keng tells him that Ohm acts tougher than he is and he’s just been an idiot recently.  Pete is momentarily struck by how much Keng reminds him of Card but Pete apologizes to everyone for crashing their party.  One of the other boys apologizes to Pete in return, followed by a botched attempt by a stupid yet well-meaning third member of the group who gets an elbow following an insensitive remark.  At this point Keng, asks Pete if he minds answering some of their questions and Pete complies while being fully aware how ironic it is to find himself helping Noh, even if he dislikes him.   It’s all second nature to Pete since he’s dealt with such scenarios since coming out, not to mention Por’s erted and vulgar questions.  Pete explains same s*x attraction in a way that this group of guys can understand but when his bis*xuality is brought up and his past relationship with Lhew, the group appears skeptical.  The group is floored when the topic of how he got the phone numbers of the two female counselors and Ohm seems particularly annoyed yet, seems to let up on Pete thereafter.  When Earn is mentioned, Pete stays positive and states all the things he loves about him while noticing up ahead of them that Phun has managed to succeed in interrupting Earn and Noh’s closeness. 

If there is any redemption for having our boys put through this story arc, Pete’s confrontation with Ohm and his friends is it.  This development is precisely what makes this story appealing and it’s so like Pete to stand on principle and take a risk to make right a wrong and make the world a better place.  Pete, the rational and compassionate person for whom the world must not only make sense but, it should also be nurturing and tolerant toward people who fall outside the mainstream.  These are the personal qualities that have guided his character and we’ve witnessed them mature throughout this novel.  This is his story and it continues to be a vivid illustration of a young person growing up into adulthood.  I can almost forget and forgive the schizophrenic Pete from the series when presented with and reminded of the wonderful Pete from our story.  Thank you for inserting this into the chapter!

When Ohm is suddenly and doggedly pursued by the Yuri’s friend Nongnan (his long-time nemesis in the series), Pete notices Yuri is suddenly left alone, so he moves toward her to comfort her.  Pete swoops in and spooks her momentarily and she gives him a good-natured slap on the shoulder for scaring her.  Pete references Nongnan who currently has the struggling Ohm in a bear hug and asks what’s up with her.  Yuri explains that she’s been stuck on Ohm forever and they share a joke about her fixation.  The next thing they know, the leaders call out to tell them they have arrived at the planting site and they instruct the campers to pair up with another person in their group.  Yuri notices her friends are already paired up so she asks Pete if they can pair up and he agrees.  Yuri rejoices while taking Pete’s hand and punching the sky with the other.  Pete notices Earn off in the distance staring at him.  Pete feels guilty but notes that Earn is obviously paired with Noh since his arm rests on his shoulder.  They momentarily glare at each other in mutual annoyance before being lead off to separate planting areas.  Pete can’t help but feel like this entire scene is like a replay of Earn’s earlier crush period when he tried to do everything he could to be in Noh’s presence while Noh acts like an oblivious idiot.  With the memories of those days, along with the current situation piled on top of his clash with his parents, it makes him feel bad.  He tries to assure himself that what’s transpired the past few days cannot dispel his relationship with Earn and he decides to talk with him as soon as the planting assignment is completed.

So Pete and Yuri commence with the planting of their 5 saplings and chit chat amiably during the process.  While taking a hydration break, Pete prompts her to return to their earlier conversation so Yuri begins telling him about the time she and Aim went to this big resort and had a lot of fun while indicating nostalgically that she misses her.  Pete frankly tells her that it seems to him that Aim was hard on her while privately thinking that she sounds like a raging b*tch.  Yuri admits that Aim could act like that but that Aim made her think straight before commenting that she could use her help now more than ever while gazing off into the distance at a tan skinned girl with an exaggerated ponytail.  Pete assures her that he’s around if she needs help and she thanks him before explaining that what she was previously telling him happened long ago.  Pete asks when that was and Yuri tells him it was around the time of the Live Concert.  Putting it together in his head, Pete asks if it was just her and Aim on the trip and Yuri evasively responds that they had friends with them.  Pete tactfully asks if he knows these friends and Yuri admits he does and that they are actually in the Pharmacamp.  This emboldens Pete to tenderly ask if the friends are Phun and Noh and Yuri freezes at the mention of their names.  Pete immediately backtracks and tells her to forget he ever asked but she hesitatingly confirms it was Phun and Noh on the trip.  Yuri finally tells Pete that she was a delusional idiot at the time and still clung to Noh even though he had already told her he didn’t see her as anything more than a friend.  Pete tries to comfort her by telling her she’s not an idiot but that she was just in love.  Yuri shoots back that she wasn’t in love, she was obsessed which of course sends Pete’s mind straight to Earn.  She continues by telling Pete that she knows better now but why it still hurts.  Pete tries to tell her that it takes time for wounds like these to heal which prompts her to ask how he knows and if he’s been through the same thing.  Pete answers that he’s never had the experience himself but he’s been there for people who have and that he cares for them dearly.  She asks if they are still like this but Pete assures her that they aren’t anymore because they have moved on and she will too as he rubs his thumb on her shoulder, trying to relax her.  She speaks his name with glistening eyes but he tells her to buck up while lifting her chin with his index finger.  Yuri apologizes for being a burden but Pete plays it down and asks in response what are friends for, which cheers her considerably. 

This passage actually represents a rehabilitation of Yuri’s character on some level.  The series is trying to show that she’s tried to understand what happened and grow beyond it, even if she’s still struggling to get past her previous mistakes.  Our Pete is there for her, just like he is for all of his friends (and in Noh’s case, sometimes an adversary).  This is the same Pete who helped Lhew, Card, Por and Hack, and of course, his love, Earn.  The interaction they share in this story is one of friendship and support, which is distinct from whatever is going on between them in the series (whatever the that is).  This interaction plays to Pete’s strengths at every level and reinforces all his core values and characteristics.

The next thing they know, Mo is standing over them asking Pete what he’s done to her to make her cry but Yuri explains that he’s the one who stopped her tears.  Mo accepts this explanation, then tells Yuri that she and her other friends are done planting and are waiting for her so they can go swimming.  Yuri explains that they have one sapling left but Pete assures her she can go and he’ll finish the task.  After they depart, Pete thinks to himself that Earn has moved on too, thanks to him, and he should know this by now.  With the desire to talk to Earn rekindled, he moves to finish the planting and he begins looking around for his boyfriend.  When he catches sight of Earn however, he sees him sitting on a log next to Noh with one of Noh’s hands in his own which sends his blood boiling.  Suddenly, Phun appears and sits down on the log between them, placing an arm over Noh’s shoulder and Noh closes his eyes and leans his head against Phun.  Pete notices that Joke has crouched next to him and followed his sightline.  He comments how sweet and open they are even with Noh’s ex present on the trip.  Pete’s not amused by his words, and tells him he still has to finish up.  Feeling the tension, Joke invites him to join them swimming when he finishes up.

Of course, when Pete finally joins everyone in the water, he’s treated to the unwelcomed scene of Noh trying to stay on Earn’s back as they play around.  Before Pete can approach Earn and Noh, his attention is drawn away by a group of squealing and laughing girls as they drag Yuri along.  After they enter the water and splash about some, all eyes rest on Noh, who paddles away, followed by Earn.  Pete is annoyed by this and pursues them as well.  As Earn and Noh play around in front of Pete, he’s gripped by a dark mood and he calls out to Noh in a snide tone asking about his ex-girlfriend and if it would be okay he asked her out.  Far from sounding bothered, Noh simply tells Pete to go for it if he can make her happy.  After brief a moment, Pete feels a tight grip on his shirt collar and is dragged to a shallow area of the lake by Earn and then up to a secluded area.  Angered by Earn’s actions, Pete demands to be set free while pulling away but slips on the grass and falls, hurting his palm.  Earn reacts in a concerned manner but Pete is too angry and demands not to be touched.  Earn is clearly distressed but, after composing himself, wants to know if Pete is trying to get on his nerves by doing all this sh*t with Yuri.  He restates that she’s Noh’s ex and Pete is with him before asking Pete if he has no regard for his or Noh’s feelings.  In response, Pete barks back that, ever since the train trip out to the camp, it’s been all about Noh but Earn denies his characterization.  He accuses Pete of being touchy and angry and then firmly asserts that he can’t allow him to be a to Noh and trying to hurt other people’s feelings.  Pete is outraged by this response and asks Earn if he thinks he is okay with seeing him hang off the guy he had a crush on or worry about the accidental kiss or that past feeling might reemerge.  Earn fires back asking if he’s supposed to be okay with Pete hanging out with a girl he’s admitted he thought was cute and liked.  With his voice rising, Pete declares that Earn knows he would never leave him for someone else but Earn puts on a skeptical look and wants to know if that’s true even if it would make Pete’s life easier.  At a loss, Pete asks him what he means.  Earn emphatically states that Pete’s life would be so much easier if he wasn’t Pete’s boyfriend and if Pete had a girlfriend instead.  Pete tells him he’s crazy but Earn barks back that it feels like he’s being replaced for Pete’s convenience but Pete follows on his heels with the accusation that he’s being replaced by Earn’s first choice.  After a prolonged silence, Pete simply states that if this is really what Earn thinks, then he’s out. 

Pete is incredulous over the situation they have descended into.  He can’t accept that he’s in the wrong for hanging out with a friend from cram school as opposed to Earn who is stuck to a guy he had a crush on and was obsessed with.  He can’t help but think that Earn’s around Noh to spite him from being near Yuri, even though his concerns about Yuri are nonsense.  Pete can’t even believe that Earn thinks anyone can just walk away from a relationship out of convenience.  His mood leads him to return to the school feeling like the entire trip is a disaster.  What was supposed to be an escape from the problems with his parents turned out even worse because of the unresolved issues from their past.  He reasons that he can’t blame Noh for their troubles and he knows Yuri is innocent.  He believes Earn should know better and feels that Earn lives a double standard when it comes to loyalty.

Of course, viewers of the series know that the conversation between Pete and Earn by the lake is not part of the series.  This is what makes it so pertinent and valid because it speaks past the confused series plot of Pete-Earn (just friends or more?) and directly to the Pete and Earn relationship of our story and it represents a tectonic shift back toward the story they were living before pharmacamp came along to muck everything up.  Pete’s thoughts following his departure from Earn, map the way forward for where things are headed and what needs to be resolved.

Pete gets back to the dorm and changes his clothes and then spies Ohm’s guitar and sings a melancholy song about a failed relationship.  Upon conclusion, the guitar’s owner materializes to deliver a backhanded compliment, before noting that Pete also skipped half the song.  They exchange some terse but playful snipes at each other before Ohm comes clean and apologizes to Pete.  Ohm explains that he’s previously made clear to Noh that if he wants to open up about things he can but after what Pete said to him…  Pete acknowledges his point without making him admit to anything openly before Ohm threatens Pete to hurry up and pick a song before he hits him with the guitar.  Pete reflects on his situation at the camp and how ed up it’s been but not without some welcome surprises.  Thank to Ohm’s crass and rude personality, Pete always forgets what an accomplished musician Ohm is.  In this respect, Ohm reminds him a lot of Por who could have easily been the Vice President of the Computer Club.  The pair collaborate a few songs and Pete finds Ohm’s criticisms on his pitch and tone irksome but constructive.  Pete decides to take a shower before dinner and by the time he returns, Ohm is leaving with some friends to walk around.  Happy for the quiet, Pete drops down for some shut eye.

One of Pete’s teammates awakens him with a loud call to dinner and as he emerges from sleep into a groggy consciousness, he is again assaulted by the nightmare of his personal situation.  He enters the dining hall and sees Earn sitting alone and looking disinterested in his food which only serves to rekindle his negative emotions and stress him out.  After getting a try of food, Pete walks past Earn and their eyes meet and they stare at each other for a few seconds.  Earn motions Pete to join him but Pete finds himself in no mood to do so considering what they said to each other earlier by the lake and the fact that Earn has not once apologized to him for what’s happened over the past few days.  Pete proceeds past Earn and sits at the vacant table in front of him and restlessly swirls his porridge while pondering how to fix his life.

The next thing Pete hears is Yuri’s bright voice, calling his name and asking why he’s sitting alone before asking if she can join him.  Pete concedes, thinking that her company may cheer him up.  Seeing Pete’s uncovered wound, Yuri quickly asks what happened.  She quickly produces a band aid and although Pete indicates that it’s only a small cut, Yuri has already torn open the package and she places it on with fanfare.  After pronouncing it cute, she adds that it suits him with giggle.  Pete thanks her, already feeling the impact of her uplifting influence.  She asks if he can eat and although he indicates he can, his slowness in responding provides her enough time to capture a spoonful of meat from his bowl and holds it up for him.  He persists in telling her he can feed himself but she won’t take no for an answer, so he accepts it.  Pete captures a spoonful of meat on his spoon and holds it up to her announcing their trade off, and she eats too.  Pete finds their exchange fun and it lightens his mood immensely but he avoids any further such exchanges since he really only sees Yuri as a friend and he doesn’t want to annoy Earn, who is still sitting behind them.  After a few minutes, Pete hears Earn’s chair as he rises up and walks away.  Pete and Yuri finish eating and chat for a while and Pete learns that Yuri thought his wound might be the result of her leaving him alone to finish the planting by himself.  She also mentions that she didn’t see Pete at the lake afterward with the other Friday boys and he vaguely explains what happened.  He tells her about his relationship with Earn and she’s unfazed.  She had already heard things about it but felt it wasn’t her business to pry.  Feeling more open, he also tells her the details of his struggles at home and how it relates to his spat with Earn.  She listens but is out of her depth to help him.  He finds her kindness genuine however, when she offers to listen if his struggles persist, they exchange numbers properly.

The save made following the Pete-Yuri feeding festival is nicely done.  The series plot is so weak and feeble but recasting the exchange as one friend trying to cheer up another is a good idea on how to side-step the series plot.  Having Yuri react out of a sense of responsibility to Pete’s wound is another clever patch.  The best card played however, is that Yuri is already aware of Pete and Earn’s relationship status when Pete tells her, so her motives toward Pete are not romantic but platonic, just like Pete’s are towards Yuri.  This pulls our story’s plot ahead of the series and prepares us to re-enter our story at the conclusion of pharmacamp.

There is one last stretch of pharmacamp that has to be mucked through and Pete drags himself through it in much the same mood I was in (but for totally different reasons of course).  He goes to the closing event after dinner is concluded and finds it completely boring.  The only thing that remotely sparks his interest is when Earn is forced on stage with the other Team Captains into a sing along.  Pete stares at him prior to the start of his performance and Earn’s performance is surprisingly weak considering he was considered once as a shoe in for Music Club Head if had tried out.  Pete can’t stand to watch anymore and returns to the bunkhouse to sleep early.  He drifts in and out of sleep, and each time he awakens, there are more and more people already in bed.  Phun and Noh eventually arrive and start annoying Pete, so he flips in the opposite direction and is surprised to find himself face-to-face with Earn.  He’s at a loss for words and freezes when he sees that Earn seems worried and regretful.  Earn stumbles over his words, so all Pete can think is that Earn has had plenty of time to consider what to say, so given that he’s not now prepared, then they shouldn’t talk for a while.

The next morning Pete is at a loss.  They have once again slept through their problems which still remain unresolved and now a giant rift has opened between them.  He finds himself both wanting to be with Earn and desiring distance from him after everything that’s been said.  The trip home on the train is lonely and tense, with a lot of averted gazes and drama.  When they finally get to the station after the interminable journey, Pete looks around and sees his car with his father behind the wheel.  His eyes meet with Earn’s for a moment but both are saddened.  Earn begins to motion for Pete but is interrupted by Noh, Ohm and the others, so Pete makes his way to his car without speaking to Earn.  Once he sits down, his depression really kicks in.  His father asks how the trip was but Pete diplomatically answers that it was okay.  After starting the car, his father comments to Pete that he hopes he got everything out of his system.  Pete doesn’t respond.  He just stews in the realization that he’s in a really bad spot right now.

Pete has been in some really black moods more than a few times in this story which is really hard to stomach since he’s such a genuinely decent person who often puts others ahead of himself.  It’s almost like the universe is targeting him because it can’t stand such a good natured character to exist.  That aside, I think all his earlier struggles were hard enough but they primarily involved one issue at a time (his break up with Lhew, his fight with Earn, etc.).  The situation he’s currently in is even bleaker.  Not only are he and Earn on the skids but his father has just telegraphed to him that his home life is still as ed up as it was when he left and now he has to face that situation without Earn to rely on.  The bright spot, as always, is that Pete still has Lhew, Card and Por to help him and I have no doubt that they will play an important role in patching up the current discord in the Pete-Earn relationship.  I still can’t help but wonder exactly how Earn is going to explain his actions or what they meant.  Pete thinks he deserves an explanation and, for the most part, I think he does too.  Pete may have pursued a friendship with Yuri even though he knew it got under Earn’s skin but that’s small potatoes compared to Earn’s actions toward Noh.  It will indeed be interesting to see how this plays out.

The other issue looming is Pete’s parents.  They are clearly unmoved from their prior position so the question is what will, if anything, change their minds?  Prior to pharmacamp, Earn had suggested his parents might play a role but with things between Pete and Earn a bit touch and go right now, that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen very soon.  At any rate, this scenario is obviously going to be pounding on Pete at the same time he’s trying to figure out which direction things are going to go with Earn.  Sometimes, a guy just can’t get a break but I know Pete will because he and Earn are inevitable.  The question is how are they going get back to where they had previously worked so hard to get to?  That’s what the next chapter is likely all about.

 

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Author’s Note:

Just a reminder, I’ll be taking a hiatus for about a month because of recent life events that have made my free time more involved with my health and getting rest. The holidays have just passed but the current status and drama at work are so over the top, along with the busyness of the business, that I’m drained by the time I get home. The writer’s block isn’t helping much either. On a side note, I recently read back the chapter this review is based on and saw a couple of grammatical errors so, if you had a hard time reading it, I apologize and I’ve corrected most of it. Thanks everyone for sticking with me and hoping to see you guys next month for a new chapter. :)