Epilogue

The epilogue is a satisfying vehicle to revisit everyone down the road a piece and get a glimpse of where they are and what they are doing in their lives.  It’s kind of a last snapshot of everyone and where they are today with hints about where they may be going in the future and it’s a fun read.

Pete and Earn are now college roommates and the epilogue opens with them moving into their dorm room as they sort out their belongings and their memories.  The conversation between them, over the fate of some dirty old toys, is telling.  Not surprising, Earn seems to want to move towards the future while Pete seems to want to hang onto the past but that will change by the end.  We learn how hectic senior year was for the boys and Pete laments how little spare time he had but notes how much he looked forward to his classes that intersected with Por, Card, Tee, Earn, and any of the other former juniors.  They managed to keep things in perspective, remain focused on their studies, and still keep in touch.

Pete and Earn are soon off to meet up with their friends but not without first exchanging some all-too-familiar playful banter.  It seems some things have remained the same even if others have changed a bit.  They arrive at their destination only to be admonished for being late by an unnamed person whose description pretty much matches up with Card.  Pete defends them and Earn seconds with a statement about being fashionably late and liking to make an entrance.  A female (loosely matching Lhew’s description) joins the conversation to make a stab at the pair for using an “after s*x glow” as an entrance device.  Pete makes it clear that although they live together, that’s not all they do (some teases never die and some notions always require refutation).  Earn opines that if they were really fooling around, they wouldn’t have even shown up.  The male and female pause as if waiting for Pete to admonish Earn’s remark but Pete surprises them when he matter-of-factly confirms that they wouldn’t be present if they were ing.  As the conversation evolves, the identities of the others present are indeed confirmed to be Card and Lhew and references to additional friends are dropped in such a way that we all know to whom they’re referring.  The conversation and the events described are presented in the familiarly breezy tone readers have come to expect and love (at least I have).  The talk of scholarships an,d who got what, passes quickly with only one surprise – Pete didn’t score one but he shrugs it off stating that having a passion for something and working hard doesn’t always cut it.  (Wow, Penguin has been growing up since Chapter 60!)  When Lhew urges them to ask about her status, Earn and Pete make it clear they’ve heard about it like 100 times already.  This sparks a plea from Lhew for Card to jump in and defend her but he flatly tells her she’s a grown woman and can fight her own battles.  She of course slumps down and sulks, so Card gives in and blandly threatens the boys for teasing his girlfriend.  So now we’re up to date on the relationship between Card and Lhew.

Por eventually arrives blaring out his usual greeting, accompanied by a mystery couple later revealed to be Hack and Dirk.  More conversation ensues set in the same gregarious and familiar tone as the preceding banter.  The highlight here is learning about Por’s bungled attempt to surprise Josie with treats and flowers at the place where she’s interning, including an attempt to sing to her, which of course crashes and burns in spectacular fashion not the least for his awful voice.  When Tee finally joins the group (dragging Choi and Odd with him), Lhew calls out to him using her nickname for him (Fundanashi), but he admonishes her for continuing to call him that since her learned from his girlfriend what the term really means (great touch btw).  There’s a brief exchange with Choi and Odd that serves to catch us up on their status and they soon depart to join the Music Club several feet away but not without first being cautioned to keep in touch.  Pete provides a short commentary about what he observes taking place among the Music Club gathering, including seeing Per pass the baton onto a more mature and confident Ngaw.  It’s here where Pete catches Lhew gazing across at the group and a reference to Ngaw is introduced which allows us to learn that they parted on good terms.  Por ribs Lhew about starting to date Card a week after the break with him but Card soberly reminds him that they had a prior agreement that makes it sound more like a business deal.  Pete makes a wisecrack to Lhew about Card being such a keeper but Card snaps back that not everyone can have as perfect a relationship as he and Earn have.  This begets a hilarious challenge from both Pete and Earn that is delightfully playful and romantically intimate at the same time.  When Card states that they are comparable to Josie and Por, Por gets wide-eyed and asks him if really thinks he and Josie are perfect for each other.  It’s Lhew’s turn to jump in with a snipe at this point which only adds to the levity.  This leads to more back-and-forth in which Card ends up calling Earn Brawn for Brains and Earn retorts by calling Card Ice King.  It’s all fun and games in this tight-knit family of friends and a thoroughly enjoyable to read. 

The upshot of this teasing squabble is a commitment to continue to meet regularly as a group but it’s the way it’s played out that makes it so special.  Earn is the first to commit by placing his open hand onto the table, followed by Pete placing his open hand into Earn’s.  Lhew follows Pete, and Por joins in after being reassured that Josie can be included.  In true fashion, Card is the last to join and only then at Earn’s urging does he place his palm on top of Por’s rather unenthusiastically.  With that, they agree to meet up every two weeks and Pete proclaims that they really haven’t changed that much at all as the group chats among themselves and his eyes latch onto Earn.  Everyone else has removed their hands but Pete’s remains behind held in Earn’s as he notes that they have changed but for the better.

So ends the epilogue and we get the clear signal that Pete has finally recognized that change can be positive and that the future is not to be feared as if it comes at the expense of the present.  This is so clearly important if we are to exit this intensely personal story believing that Pete and Earn have a chance at a happy life together.  The growth we have witnessed in both boys is really essential to make this possible and I have thoroughly enjoyed the journey.

I was asked by the author to comment on my favorite and least favorite chapters and it took me quite a long time to re-read this novel and all of my accompanying remarks chapter by chapter.  It not only gave me an even greater appreciation for this work but also what a blowhard I am so, I’ll keep this part brief.  I think chapters 40 through 48, from the basketball tournament performance through to Earn rescuing Pete in the street fight were really gripping both emotionally and drama-wise for me.  The excitement and tension that rippled through the events of the Pete-Earn rupture layered on with the Oil storyline I found really compelling as a story arc.  I also really liked the earlier Pete-Lhew dating chapters.  Lhew’s character was new and fresh and was a terrific vehicle to call forth development in Pete’s character which I knew would eventually become paired with Earn.  I don’t think I need to express my appreciation for the romance and coupling of our boys, or any of the other characters that have been so painstakingly developed so persuasively and successfully as well as the powerful ability of the author to write such natural dialogue.

As far as my dislikes, I don’t really have a least favorite chapter or story arc.  Anyone who has read my past chapter comments already know that I’m not amenable to what I derisively call the “Glee Moments” when characters break into song.  I totally understand that many readers appreciate these events but I find them mostly distracting because they pull me out of the story.  I also can’t shake the contrived nature of these kinds of scenes but that’s just me.  If you enjoy them, then more power to you.

I have also been asked to comment on the main characters and how I believe they’ve developed during the novel.  Let me begin by making my list of main characters clear:  Pete, Earn, Lhew, Card and Por.  I’ll address them in reverse order.

Por:

I hope everyone can think of a person in their life who is either like or reminds them in some way of Por.  There is something very refreshing about being around someone who holds nothing back, even when it turns out to be embarrassing and/or humiliating.  A person who lives their life unfiltered and honestly is also a person who tends to be happy most of the time.  Por plays the fool, the buffoon, the clown, and the comic relief throughout the novel but he is also strategically used to draw out other characters and introduce topics and issues precisely because of his cluelessness and unfiltered nature.  Por starts off and remains a loud mouth throughout this story but he is allowed to develop an appreciation for how his own actions impact those around him primarily through his falling out with Hack.  This lesson later matures into his offer of support toward Pete.  He may live as if his life is a joke but this belies his intelligence and maturity.  He’s mechanically gifted, intelligent, and (h0rniness aside) mature enough to enter into a committed, if somewhat erse, relationship with Josie.  He also displays a responsibility and commitment to family and a strong work ethic through his work in the family business.  Por may act cartoonlike most of the time but he’s clearly got a lot going for him.

Card:

Card starts off being a hardliner on the outside and ostensibly ends pretty much the same way.  During the course of the novel, he does experience development but what really advances as we read this story is our understanding of his character.  At the beginning, his demeanor and wealth are designed to assign him a certain status and distance from the others in his circle.  Pile on his acerbic wit and vituperative tongue and he’s clearly the Mt. Everest of the group that few can assail successfully.  It turns out that his character orbits around a very deep emotional injury inflicted upon him earlier in his life when his mother died and the resulting person we have come to know as Card is as much scar tissue as defense mechanism.  Underneath it all, he has genuine feelings that he keeps carefully guarded, so much so that Por is really the only friend that has managed to get really close to him.  There is absolutely nothing contradictory in the Ice King befriending Por.  In fact, Por’s ability to bare all is exactly the tonic a person like Card needs in his life.  No wonder why they are best friends.   I firmly believe that their friendship has a connection to the development of Card’s dry and cutting sense of humor but I can’t prove it.  Fortunately, Card is allowed to emerge from his shell and disclose just how important his friends are to him and how willing he is to stand by them (always under cover of Card’s dry matter-of-fact delivery).  By the end of the story, he even opens his heart up to a relationship with Lhew (even while making it sound like a business deal).  Of course, this is Card we’re talking about, so don’t expect hearts and rainbows.  For Card though, this is a quantum leap forward.

Lhew:

Lhew is a controversial character in the novel for many readers because of her relationship to Pete but I have been a committed supporter from the moment she appeared in the storyline.  Lhew burst onto the scene as an intelligent, open-minded, and fun loving young woman and a bit of a tomboy born from a vital streak of independence.  As the novel advanced and her character opened up, some of what initially appeared as strength turned out to arise from fear and insecurity but this, I would argue, is what eventually allows her to understand and appreciate Card.  I believe that her character’s relationship with Pete ultimately made Pete and Earn stronger not only by her encouragement of Pete’s pursuit of Earn, but by first and foremost being a canvas upon which Pete could paint his feelings and ultimately realize the nature of his s*xuality (accompanied by Lhew’s insight and support of course).  Pete struggled and vacillated in circles until Lhew out of himself and helped point him on a path to self-discovery while knowingly risking her own happiness with him in the process.  I think that says a lot about her character.  Eventually, they both grew past the end of their romantic relationship to forge a loving plutonic friendship.  Although she remains a regularly present character throughout the novel, her story sort of blends into the wallpaper after she breaks things off with Pete, in spite of the story arc with Ngaw which tries to keep her relevant, but only partially succeeds because, by its very nature, it must assume a secondary role to the primary story and doesn’t really allow her to grow much.  It is only when we reach the epilogue that we find Lhew in a more complex and mature relationship with Card (it would have to be complex if Card’s involved).  We don’t really learn too much about them as a couple but I have no doubt that Card has met his match in Lhew and she no doubt understands the man beneath the mask better than most.

Earn:

I’ve commented a lot about Earn already and his nature as an intuitive personality who makes decisions primarily on an emotional basis.  In this respect, Earn remains consistent from beginning to end.  What advances for Earn is his ability to listen to his inner-self and acknowledge and accept his emotions, even when they challenge him.  Earn’s other character traits (leadership, self-confidence, compassion, and loyalty) come to his aid in his understanding, accepting, and acting on his emotional awareness in a productive manner.  Recall the incredible inner turmoil he displayed when he was gripped by doubts and jealousies during the huge rift Pete and compare it to the incredibly advanced emotional self-awareness and honest maturity he displays at the end of chapter 60 when he confidently asserts that change is not always bad and that while he knows little about the mysterious world they live in, he knows Pete must be by his side.  The transformation in his character couldn’t be starker.  This is a person who has achieved a level of integration that sets him up for even more productive emotional advancement as his life with Pete moves forward.

Pete:

I would guess that more than half of my preceding comments throughout this novel must revolve around Pete’s astonishingly complex character.  As I have pointed out many times before, Pete is primarily a rational and practical thinker, relying mostly on reason and evidence.  This serves him well as long as he has facts upon which to base his decisions but fails him miserably when he does not.  He feels his emotions intensely but struggles to understand and incorporate their meaning into his life.  He’s an intelligent and good-hearted person who values and loves his friends to a fault.  This becomes clear rather early on in the story and it creates problems for him on a continuing basis as he overlooks his own welfare and the needs of his boyfriend while acting on his compulsion to keep everyone happy and united.  We learn only later in the novel that this need to keep everyone together may actually arise out his fear that his parents don’t love him for who he truly is.  It’s as if he feels that pleasing others and taking care of their wants is the only path to his parent’s hearts.  It’s no wonder the guy can’t take a compliment.  The evolution of Pete’s development is one of the major themes in Where We Stand.   To cut to the chase, it starts with his acknowledgement of his bis*xuality, advances as he struggles through all the issues that arise as his relationship with Earn takes off and develops, and comes to an explosive when he comes out to his parents.  But even after resolving difficulties with his mother and father, Pete’s growth is far from over.  In fact, it continues to take place up to the very last line of the epilogue when he acknowledges that change can be for the better and this presumably foreshadows that his growth will continue on far into the future.  This is a very positive and hopeful sign and it bodes well for the much desired success of his relationship with Earn.  The remaining challenge for Pete will be learning how to stop over-thinking and letting his thoughts fuel his emotions in negative directions.  It is a burden of his personality type.  I say this only partially tongue-in-cheek, but perhaps he should take up meditation. Fortunately, Earn will be there keeping him grounded and helping him put things into perspective.

There is one final thing I’d like put out there regarding this remarkable work, Where We Stand.  Lovesick the novel (and the series by extension) stands for the proposition that love is love.  Included in this stance is the proposition that when a person falls in love with another who returns that love in kind, their shared love is too powerful to be denied, nor should it be denied.  That Phun and Noh never label their s*xual orientation underlies the main proposition by emphasizing that love can arise for anyone at any time from any source and still retain its supremacy as a life-altering experience.  I think Lovesick delivers a particularly powerful message for this reason.  

Where We Stand also presents the same proposition, that love is love and is a powerful life-altering experience but in contrast to Lovesick, Earn and Pete do declare their orientations (gay and bis*xual respectively).  I assert that it is this difference that makes Where We Stand a much more powerfully concrete statement.  During the reading of this novel, I often considered the title to serve as a rhetorical weather vane of sorts as the relationship between Pete and Earn travelled the twisting and turning road toward the conclusion.  I would now argue that the title is a declaration and challenge to the world.  It’s as if Pete and Earn arrive at the end of the novel and draw a line in the sand and declare this is where we stand as they proclaim their pride and love for each other with their heads held high.  Lovesick ended happily but Where We Stand ends happily with a roar precisely because Pete and Earn embrace and assert their s*xual orientations.  If Lovesick is an intensely personal love story, Where We Stand is an intensely personal love story with a strong social message.  Writing this novel is a work of creativity certainly but it is also a work of courage.  I want to recognize the bravery of the author not only to address so many important themes but for also for bravely expressing his own heart through his characters. 

Author's Note
Well, that's it folks. End of the end. Where they are currently. Special Chapters will be updated irregularly and out of order but it will continue to add to the story. Just like how I asked Chev, what were your guys' favorite and least favorite chapters? Curious to know after reading through so many, which ones got everyone the most hyped and happy about and which ones made you angsty or bored. :)

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :)

Guess who gave me a birthday greeting. :D

I'm literally foaming at the mouth as you read this and when I recieved it. Thank you, P'Thirachai and Ngern for the best gift I can ever ask for, not only my birthday, but to end this novel-like fanfic. :D