Chapter 45: Struggle

Pete’s salacious narrative begins in his dark, music-filled bedroom and it is quickly apparent that he and Earn are locked in a passionate interaction.  The scene builds as their actions escalate and as I read this I couldn’t help telling myself this can’t be happening. There is no way they’ve made up yet.  The story cannot cheat us by skipping over their resolution after covering the aftermath of their fight in such detail.  And then it comes, the sound of a needle scratching across the grooves of a vinyl record and Pete’s alarm is ringing, waking him from what turns out to be an increasingly more frequent recurring dream.  It seems Pete’s life has been racing at high speed with the finals project, the Year End Concert, studying, etc.  He admits to being and undered, but his efforts at relieving himself only bring images of Earn into his mind.  Worse still, Earn seems be looking especially hot lately, fueling Pete’s haunting nighttime dreams.  Pete takes a cold shower and has breakfast with his parents.  We learn that he’s explained the whole Lhew scene to them in the interim and they’ve stopped feeling so down on him, even if they still won’t let him have his car back.  The housekeeper has been Pete’s encouragement at home through all of this, but he stops short of confiding in her.  Eventually Pete collects his laptop and guitar and heads off to school on foot with the feeling that he just wants to get the day over with.

This teasing opening segment is fun, if somewhat transparent.  At first we buy into it for a couple of seconds and then decide there’s going to be a catch somewhere, but the narrative persists and kind of draws us back into the action.   When the alarm blows the whistle on the scene, the confirmation that it was all a dream isn’t a letdown at all because we figured something was up.  In fact, the reveal makes it all make sense, and reassures us that we didn’t miss anything in the story.  Pete and Earn are still on hiatus.  We will get to see them make up.  (Or will we?)  It’s entertaining because we’ve sort of knowingly played along with our own deception, and ultimately get the satisfaction of knowing that we were right in suspecting it all along.

The next scene has Pete fumbling with his bag and guitar is a crowded school hallway bustling with students as Earn offers to help him carry his things.  Pete initially resists his offer, but begrudgingly accepts after a close call with almost dropping the instrument.  There is a bit of back-and-forth between them (playfulness from Earn, irritation from Pete) as they head toward an agreed upon meeting spot for a rendezvous with their friends.  Along the way, Pete ponders over how he’s been living in a bit of a pressure cooker of late and that circumstances have kind of forced him together with Earn on a regular basis.  He’s still upset with Earn, but being around him so much has taken a bit of the edge off.  Pete isn’t sure if it’s this proximity, the steam he blew off in the sing off, the hope raised by the video project, or his y dreams of Earn that seem to have repaired their relationship slightly.  Eventually they arrive at their meeting spot and sit in the shade to await the others.  Pete tries to focus on studying while Earn focuses on anything but studying.  Their terse conversation continues as before, and Earn eventually decides to get in some concert practice by playing Pete’s guitar.  When he asks to borrow a pick, Pete directs Earn to the pocket of his bag.  Pete texts Card with their whereabouts, before noticing that Earn is hesitating before launching into Close (Nick Jonas).  As Earn finishes, Pete answers his song by making suggestion/declaration that it can mean that he just wants space.  Earn good-naturedly asks how Pete knows that he sang the song about him, so Pete explains that Earn may be handsome and a great singer, but that a song isn’t going to change his stance on their issues.  It is clear from the next exchange that what Pete wanted to communicate and what Earn heard him say remain on totally different levels.  When Pete asks why he chose that song for the concert, noting it won’t win Earn any points with him, Earn just holds up Pete’s panda guitar pick and boasts with a cheeky smile that maybe he doesn’t need to.  Pete tries to brush it off as coincidence, but Earn, acting smugly, won’t let him off easily.  Fortunately for Pete, Card’s timely phone call interrupts their conversation.  After taking the call, Pete hurries to close his laptop and tells Earn to put the guitar away.  Earn teasingly points out that Pete never answered him, but Pete blows him off as he runs toward the approaching group of boys while telling Earn to hurry so they can settle things out.

It turns out the big meet up is centered on drafting the post report on the Basketball Finals, so they decide to drive over to Top’s house, the Basketball Team Captain, for this purpose.  The atmosphere is still a bit charged, but Tee’s efforts to soften up the Basketball Team have them feeling hopeful for resolving the tensions over the events of the after party.  Everyone seems to be getting along, although Earn and Oil avoid each other while proffering disdainful glances.  Pete admits to also being rather uncomfortable around Oil, and blames him in part for his rift with Earn, while also admitting that his issues with Earn would exist even if Oil wasn’t around.  The boys break up into groups for the drive to Top’s house.  Pete ends up in the group that includes Earn, Por, Hack, Dirk and Card, and Card lets Pete do the driving out of pity (and so that Pete doesn’t have to sit next to Earn).  Once Card puts on some music, the song causes Pete to start muttering to himself about his situation with Earn.  Card overhears and asks him what he’s blabbering on about, but being Card, he clearly already knows.  Without openly spilling it all out, Card shares his observations regarding a certain pair getting along better and then asks if something Pete’s been working on is still needed (referring to the final project).  Pete assures him that it’s still needed, but admits he’s mellowed a bit.  At this point Card explains in a low tone to Pete that since Earn and Por have been hanging out, Earn asked Por for advice on how to patch things up with Pete and they both agreed that Earn should try to woo Pete.  Pete deduces that while Earn pursued this strategy, it means he wasn’t even thinking about or considering the situation as Pete had asked.  Furthermore, Pete thinks Earns still stands behind what he said to him and that he thinks he’s promiscuous, and he shudders at the thought that Earn is okay with this image of him, although admits to finding Earn’s acceptance of whatever he thinks he is endearing.  But this does not solve their basic issues, and that Earn still sees the people Pete hangs with as a threat.  This raises the question of how they can be together if they can’t trust each other and the people the hang around with.

The relationship between Pete and Earn appears to be at an interesting, albeit familiar, juncture.  So far Pete has been being Pete; thinking things over while trying to understand and pursue the best path forward to solve their dilemma.  He’s methodically enlisted his friends (Card and Lhew) for support and advice, and he has digested their input and acted on it by reaching out to Earn to clarify himself and ensure Earn understands his concerns.  Earn has also sought outside advice, unfortunately it was from Por and turned out to be far too simplistic.  Not only was Por’s advice to woo Pete insufficient in helping Earn reach a deeper understanding of the situation, but it was the least likely approach to appeal to Pete.  As an intuitive type, Earn easily embraced Por’s idea because it’s emotionally appealing and allows Earn to feel as if he is actively engaging Pete with the goal of resolving their fight, even as he ignores Pete’s pleas to think things over.  So the Penguin and the Panda are still speaking in separate languages.  Although Pete has lately felt a thaw in his icy relations with Earn, the news from Card explaining Earn and Por putting their heads together only serves to highlight how far apart they remain in their approach to a true resolution.

They arrive at Top’s house, and with exception of Card and Earn, everyone else is blown away at the size of the mansion before them.  In a matter-of-fact tone, Earn explains that he’s known that Top’s family is rich from his years of playing on sports teams with Top.  When Pete asks why he never brought it up, Earn tells he didn’t know it was relevant, before adding that there are a lot of things they don’t say to each other because they don’t think they’re important.  With that, Card urges Pete to hurry up and park.  They make their way into the mansion and chat briefly with those inside before Tee stands up and pulls Oil and Earn to the center of the meeting.  The tension between them is obvious and it seems a 50-50 chance that they’ll smack each other as soon as apologize, but in the end shake hands in a vice grip that reveals the remaining tension between them.  With that behind them, the drafting of the closing report begins, although Pete apparently has already finished the Cheer Club’s in advance.  This affords Pete and Earn the opportunity to mentor Choi and Odd in report writing.  During the process, Pete feels them almost fall back into their familiar roles as best friends, but admits that Earn’s comment in the car has his mind scattered.  Pete excuses himself and decides to clear his head by practicing a couple of songs on the guitar and is quickly joined by some basketball team members and a couple of the Angels out in the backyard where he asks their opinions on a couple of songs.  It is during the performance of these practice tunes that Pete’s mind wanders, and he decides he needs to discuss something with Oil.

Upon completion of his performance, Pete is showered with praise that he finds, as always, uncomfortable to embrace.  Even as the Angels gush over Pete’s singing, a senior from the basketball team steps forward to chide him for being too modest while reminding him of his strong performance at the basketball game.  The next thing Pete hears is the all-too-familiar voice of Oil from behind him.  Oil approaches and tells him that Top has assigned them the task of picking up food for the 30 people at the meeting from a variety of places in the area.  To motivate group participation in getting everything, Pete devises a competition among teams whereby the team back first with all their food gets to order around a pair from the other teams.  When Princess points out that the person she wants to order around isn’t present (Earn), Pete sounds confident when assuring her that he can be persuaded to participate.  With everyone onboard, Pete goes inside to borrow Card’s car, but before leaving, sends Earn an explanatory text aimed at avoiding any future misunderstanding by telling him he’s getting food, and using the errand as an opportunity to talk to Oil.  The message pointedly ends with ‘Love you’.  The lists are divided among the teams and Pete and Oil pair off, with Pete still notably harboring anger toward Oil.

The sad fact is that in spite of hopeful signs and small, yet significant developments, Pete and Earn really haven’t broken any new ground lately even as they appear to be able to at least communicate more amiably.  Pete still stands on principle and Earn still stands on pride and hasn’t looked within.  At least we gave an interesting development.  Pete and Oil are driving off together to pick up food, Pete has informed Earn beforehand, and has told him he’s going to talk to Oil, but never elaborates about what.  Considering that the handshake between Oil and Earn was less than amiable, we can only wonder how Earn feels about receiving that text.

As Pete and Oil drive to their first food stop, Pete is polite, but angry under the surface.  He knows the issues he has with Earn are not exclusively Oil’s fault, but he played his part in the debacle.  Pete ruminates on his current status with Earn and pines for the days when they could be near each other without feeling awkward.  Nearing their destination, Oil asks Pete who he’s going to order around when they get back, but Pete tells him he doesn’t really have anyone in mind, that the idea was just to get everyone into helping out.  Pete turns the tables and asks Oil his own question, and Oil wonders if he can choose his own partner while wearing a melancholic expression.  Pete is initially angered by this inquiry and asks him what he’s getting at, but Oil remains silent in response.  Pete emphatically tells him that if his goal was to ‘get’ with him, then he’s sorry to burst his bubble, but Oil interrupts him saying he just wants to ask for his forgiveness.  Pete is caught off guard by this, and after a couple of minutes of silence between them, Oil states that he’s sorry for what happened at the party with Earn, noting he knows Pete and Earn are a couple.  Pete asks him why he did it if he knew they were together, and Oil begins to explain that he was drunk and thought that maybe if Pete and Earn got into an argument…  Pete jumps in angrily asking if he thought it meant he’d fall immediately out of love with Earn and go with him, and then asks if it was because he turned him down because he was in a relationship.  At this point Oil admits that he acted out of jealousy.  As Pete sits there biting his tongue, Oil confesses that he likes Pete because he’s cute, caring, talented, and doesn’t treat him like he’s dumb.  As Oil explains it, he finds falling for Pete easy, but he already belongs to someone else.  The word ‘belong’ irks Pete, but Oil succeeds in getting him to acknowledge that he loves Earn, which only strengthens Oils use of the word as applied to Pete, and Oil depressingly points out how lost Pete has looked these past weeks without Earn by his side.  Oil turns pointedly toward Pete and apologizes for his actions and the situation he’s in with Earn.  Pete knows Oil is only the instigator, but Oil goes on to telling Pete that it’s okay if he does not want to be friends after this, he just wants to be forgiven and gain peace of mind.  Given Oil’s sincerity, Pete accepts his apology with a faint smile, but quickly adds that he doesn’t think they can be friends.  Oil’s initial reaction to Pete’s acceptance of his apology brightens his mood, only to be crushed by Pete’s rejection of his friendship; Pete too is beaten down by guilt.  Slumping down into his seat, Oil tells Pete it looks like he finally got into trouble for being too nice.  Pete laughs, and replies that if Earn is ever okay with them hanging out, he’ll hang out with him.  An awkward moment follows with Oil teasing Pete and Pete trying to explain himself, but in the end Oil tells Pete to forget it because he’s just ing with him.

Wow.  This is an interesting development.  Oil ostensibly feels guilt for what he’s done, and actually blames himself for their separation.  In fact, he feels so bad that he asks for Pete’s forgiveness and admits that he’s doing so to ease his guilt and gain peace of mind.  He appears to be sincere; at least Pete clearly thinks so.  Pete admittedly likes to think the best of folks, so it is possible that Oil is once again playing a game and Pete is just being oblivious.  Yet there is seriousness to Oil’s demeanor and the words he’s using, so perhaps he really has matured as a result of the situation.  And if Pete is reading Oil’s intentions correctly, that means Pete too has learned and matured some as well.  The proof, as the saying goes, is in the pudding.  We’ll just have to see how it plays out to get our answers.
 

In the next instance, Pete turns to Oil and asks a favor.  He wants him to apologize to Earn, even while knowing that there handshake was packed with tension.  He believes an apology to Earn will have the same calming effect it’s had on him.  Oil reacts adamantly, but admits he wants to apologize because he feels sh*tty for egging him on at the after party, but reminds Pete of Earn’s ego and fears Earn will eat him up for admitting he was wrong.  Pete knows what Oil is saying is accurate, but tells him he should do it anyway so that they put this behind them.  After giving some thought, Oil agrees to apologize, but says he’ll do it in his own way so he won’t lose face.  Pete understands and thanks him as Oil waves his hand dismissively at him.  They proceed with their assigned task but between the distance they have to travel and the traffic, Pete knows they will not be the first pair back at Top’s.  As they drive, Pete shares what transpired with Earn, and Oil repeatedly apologizes for his part in the mess while reiterating his commitment to apologize to Earn.  They finally make it back and are about the last ones to do so.  Pete notices that Earn replied to his earlier text telling him that he trusts him and loves him, which transports Pete to cloud nine, but he comes back to earth when it’s discovered that Princess and Nanny were the first to return. 

What follows is a bit of a surreal scene to say the least.  The primary pairs are Pete feeding Nanny and Earn feeding Princess while Oil serves as the waiter.  It all starts innocently (albeit weirdly) enough, with the ‘couples’ bantering back and forth, but slowly an undercurrent develops between Pete and Earn that escalates in intensity as their relationship differences are transferred to the actions of spoon feeding their respective ‘girlfriends’ their dinner (which also takes on a near force feeding aspect the angrier they get).  It’s humorous enough, in an odd and tense way.

Nanny wants Pete to feed her and bring her drinks during dinner as if she’s his girlfriend, and Oil has to be their waiter.  It makes quite a scene with teasing from the Angels and laughs and jeers from everyone around them.  When Odd “accidentally” spills water on Oil’s shirt, the wet material forcing him to show  his torso brings out jeers and shrieks, and embarrassment from Hack after he gets teased for staring by Dirk and Por.  Nanny chides Pete for being less than attentive, and then compares him to Princess’ and her ‘boyfriend’ (Earn).  As Princess compliments Earn for being so attentive, Earn responds that he treats his lovers gently, which Pete understands to be a slight directed at him.  Most present don’t know the big picture, so they just yell and hoot at Earn’s remark.  Pete makes a veiled response to Earn about watching what he says to avoid making his ‘girlfriend’ jealous, but Earn replies that what they don’t know can’t hurt them.  This makes Pete think Earn believes he hid his past intentionally in spite of their previous discussion on the matter.  Tee makes an innocently teasing remark to Earn that only fuels the tension growing between the boys, and Pete adds that if they knew the real truth of the matter, they’d be fuming.  Earn assures aloud that it’s all good, because he and his ‘girlfriend’ are on break right now since she did similar things in the past.  Card tries to quell the escalation by calling out to Earn, but Pete cuts him off stating that he doubts that’s 100% of the reason they’re on a break, before asking if it isn’t hypocritical to do the same thing he’s accusing ‘her’ of doing.  At this point Por tries to intervene, but this time Earn cuts in declaring it’s karma.  Pete balks at the use of the term karma and calls him out as being vindictive.  As the-tit-for-tat peaks, Card admonishes them for arguing at the dinner table, and Por calls out Earn for b*tching too much.  Pete responds with a curt ‘Whatever’ and Earn responds in kind as they fall into giving each other the silent treatment for the remainder of meal.  Pete and Earn would occasionally clash over a squid dish no one else seemed interested in, and afterward Pete finds his enthusiasm for the day destroyed.  He sends his copy of the report to Card, Por and Tee and tells them he’s going home because he’s not feeling well.  They offer a ride, but Pete declines wanting to be alone and grab his laptop and bag and heads out, hearing someone follow him from behind.  Oil asks him why he’s leaving early and Pete tells him he’s tired from all the driving earlier.  Oil asks him if anyone has ever told him he’s a sh*tty liar, and Pete confirms it before Oil tells him that he doesn’t think what Earn said about him was accurate.  Pete thanks him, appreciating that at least someone doesn’t think he’s a two-timer.  Oil offers to take Pete home, and Pete asks him if he’s hitting on him, but Oil just shoves his shoulder and Pete tells him he’s joking.  Pete says he’ll take a taxi and heads out.

Throughout this section, we are once again treated to an intriguing use of conversational writing, although not as tightly executed as usual.  I still enjoyed the use of the odd role-playing situation to as a vehicle to illustrate the ongoing conflict between Earn and Pete.  How many times has each of us seen or done the same thing in our own lives under more routine circumstances?  I also appreciated the last bit with Oil following Pete outside.  That tells me that Oil is sincere in his regrets.

Depressed and irritated, Pete dons his earphones and contemplates the situation, feeling disbelief that they are still stuck in conflict.  It’s as if nothing has changed, and may have gotten worse, and Pete begins to wonder if they should even be together.  That thought stabs him in his chest.  The pain is even worse when he thinks this is all over something they can probably resolve.  He’s hurt that Earn thinks this way about him and that he’s a reason they are like this now.  As he nears the lights outside the transportation terminal he feels a hard punch hit him from behind and he screams ‘’ as his earphones fly off.  He’s immediately confronted by someone calling him a ing bastard and asking if he remembers who they are.  Two of the guys look familiar, but he can’t place them.  As they trade un-pleasantries, it hits Pete that these are the guys who lost to Friday’s Basketball Team.  The bating continues and soon the 5 to 1 outmatch ensues.  Pete gets some good punches in initially, but is soon over taken and a thin boy Pete’s tangled with before twists his arms back behind him in a familiar and painful hold.  A kick to the gut and the raising of his arms soon have Pete crying out in pain.  He’s finally given the choice of having his arms broken followed by a beating, or the reverse, but Pete chooses to growl ‘ you’ to his tormenters instead.  As he sinks into recriminating himself for walking to the taxi stand alone, he feels an increase on the tension in his elbows to the breaking point before a sudden release of pressure.  (There is a nice song selection in the chapter inserted right here as well, so don’t miss it.)  The next thing he knows, the boy behind him is being told to get the away by a voice he’s known for years.  This distraction allows Pete to use a heel to grind into the boy’s shin and spin around and knee him in the stomach then kick him down.  Fresh from knocking out another boy, Earn is now holding Pete’s attacker up by the shirt and demanding to know if was going to break Pete’s arms.  The boy stutters no, so Earn spins his question to Pete.  With an affirmative nod from Pete, Earn derides the boy’s ‘wrong answer’ and punches his face several times before dropping him to the ground like a rag doll. 

As the beaten come around, they collect their companions and retreat with scowls as Earn stands between them and Pete prepared to pounce at the slightest provocation.  As Pete’s adrenalin subsides he drops to the ground and Earn comes to his side to ask if he’s all right.  He quickly learns that one knee is injured and asks how messed up his face is.  It turns out, according to Earn, that it’s bloody but still handsome.  Next, he asks Earn how he found him, and learns that Oil told him.  Then Earn discovered Pete left his guitar behind so he jammed after him to bring it to him, noting that the area beyond Top’s house is kind of sketchy.  Pete comments that he wished he’d known that beforehand as Earn throws Pete’s left arm over his shoulder to help him balance.  Deciding the hospital is not necessary, Pete shuns the idea of going home in such condition so they opt to go to Earn’s house to dress his wounds.

Well, I really can’t do it justice so I didn’t try, but the fight scene emerges unexpectedly and serves up some really scintillating action.  It’s hard to witness Pete’s beating since he’s such a genuinely good person at heart.  The arrival of Earn in a full charge and his superhero vanquishing of the evildoers beating Pete is pretty entertaining.  And of course it’s written so that Earn arrives just in the nick of time.  A bit cliché, but in a scene like this it feels okay be manipulated a little bit.  It’s kind of like the opening of the chapter in that respect.  There’s also a bit of hyperbole in Pete’s description of his torment that I suppose is indicative of the trauma being inflicted on him and the adrenalin rushing through him when he describes the ‘twitch and crack’ in his elbows; especially since he later decides that a visit to the hospital is unnecessary.  If he was really being hurt to that degree, I can’t imagine he could bounce back so easily.  Finally, what strikes me a bit odd is Earn’s explanation for pursuing Pete with the guitar in tow considering that they seemed to be on the outs again following their little dinnertime spat.  I suspect there is more behind his talk with Oil that we’re going to find out about later.

On the taxi ride to Earn’s house, he places his hand on Pete’s knee and Pete notices some cuts on his knuckles so he wraps it with a handkerchief.  In spite of his own distress, he’s endeared by Earn’s actions to save him.  Once at Earn’s, he sets Pete down on his bed and flips on the light which in turn starts music flowing (an apropos acoustic folk ballad – don’t miss it) then returns with supplies to clean Pete up and some painkillers.  Pete tastes his own blood as he swallows the medicine and then, for the first time, notices that Earn is bleeding from his temple.  When Pete points it out and asks him if he’s going to disinfect it, Earn tells him only after he’s done dressing Pete’s wounds first.  Earn figures the big guy with a nail must of caught him when he threw a punch Earn believe at the time he’d avoided, and Pete teases that it sounds like Earn is making excuses for being a sloppy fighter.  Earn admits that he’s getting rusty, noting that they haven’t gotten into too many fight lately, but speaks openly when he tells Pete he really got his a*s beat and asks what he would have done had he not shown up.  Pete feels shame and guilt as he pointedly thanks Earn, but Earn plays it down saying he knows Pete would have done the same for him.  After cleaning the obvious injuries, they agree to make a more thorough inspection for secondary injuries, which inevitably brings them face to face, and they are drawn into an emotionally charged kiss made all the more powerful by the distance that’s built up between them.

As they pull out of their shared dream, Pete tells Earn that he’s missed this, and Earn replies in kind.  Pete decides to apologize for his part in their predicament and calls Earn out by name.  Earn responds by gazing into Pete’s eyes with a captivating look, and Pete plunges ahead and apologizes for the flirting and kissing scandals from his past while trying to impress upon Earn that the person before they got together isn’t him and that he’s sorry for the hurt he’s caused.  He goes on to say that Earn has a right to be insecure and jealous and that he shouldn’t have put other people’s problems above their relationship; adding that he wants to fix this about himself because of his love for Earn.  Earn responds by telling Pete he loves him too and kisses him on the forehead before he starts packing up the first aid supplies.  Pete is immediately bothered by his truncated response and asks him if he wants to add anything.  In a high-handed tone, Earn responds that he’s glad Pete understands why he was mad at him and they can now move on since Pete admitted his part in the disagreement.  Pete’s incredulous response only engenders Earn to continue stating that Pete’s finally realized the whole drama was his own doing with his flirting and stuff.  Standing in objection and facing him, Pete asks Earn if he really thinks he’s all to blame, and Earn tells him sort of, since he apologized.  Offended by what he sees as Earn’s arrogance and obliviousness, Pete’s attitude blowback pushes him to insult Earn and ask if he’s going to say he’s sorry for his end in the wrong doings.  When Earn responds that he doesn’t feel that he did anything wrong that night Pete heatedly asks if he’s not even going attempt to apologize for the sh*t he said about their friends and crap about him personally.  Earn defends himself saying he was drunk and that he doesn’t completely remember what he said that night, but Pete won’t accept that as an excuse.  The final straw for Pete comes when Earn expresses the desire to move from this in an annoyed tone.  Pete starts grabbing his belongings while telling Earn that he can’t move on when Earn thinks he’s a crappy boyfriend, untrustworthy, and promiscuous, and under such circumstances, he’s out.  Earn tells him that he never said that, but even if those things are true he still loves him.  Pete stops at the door to tell Earn that if he really thinks he can be those things, then he doesn’t know him at all.  Earn retorts that if Pete thinks Earn has looked at him in that way all the years they’ve known each other, then Pete doesn’t know him either.  Pete walks out, closing the door behind him.  He takes a few steps and stops, feeling the beat of Earn’s footsteps and he knows he is standing on the other side of the door.  Pete stands waiting to see if Earn has anything to say, but after a minute, loses hope and descends the stairs.  He puts on his earphones to lose himself in music and looks up at the sky while choking down tears and realizing he has no idea where to go from here.

So the long and winding road to nowhere continues.  The language barrier is still intact and the boys cannot communicate with each other to heal their relationship.  Earn has just acted like a total airhead and a perfect a*shole and Pete is falling into a cycle of frustration with Earn because he continues to misunderstand the way Earn thinks.  Pete is using reason to problem solve on his side of the equation and he’s trying to reach out to Earn, but he doesn’t recognize that the progress he’s making is one-sided; this only amplifies and enflames his frustrations.  Pete is assuming that Earn thinks like he does and is capable of deducing a solution in the same manner he can.  In fact, I would even go so far as to suggest that Pete may think there is really only one way to patch things up between them.  These assumptions lead Pete to the conclusion that Earn’s lack of progress is caused willfully; Earn chooses not make the effort.  Earn is not making any progress because he doesn’t feel like he’s done anything wrong.  Earn keeps voicing the desire to move on and put this disagreement behind them, which should be a huge red flag for Pete telling him that Earn is not approaching their relationship issues in the same manner he is.  The crux of the difficulty is that Pete is thinking his way forward and Earn is feeling his way forward, and until Earn feels he needs to examine his motives and change, then he’s going to persist in his current mode.  Who or what can make Earn see the light?  Pete may not be the person to make this connection for Earn, and in fact, he hasn’t been that person so far (or his methodology has been so ineffective).  They may be slowly talking things out and getting the pieces of the puzzle onto the table, but so far they haven’t made a coherent picture out of them so far.  Perhaps the finals project is going to be the key that unlocks Earn’s understanding.  I do not know.  It is going to be interesting to see how this turns out.  But considering how long it took the boys to reveal their shared love toward each other, it shouldn’t be surprising that it’s taking them so long to surmount this impasse.