Chapter 41: History

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a movie actress named Bette Davis who uttered the following line in All About Eve (1950): “Fasten your seatbelts.  It’s going to be a bumpy night.”  If this chapter had an intro, that quote would be very suitable.  The adage, when it rains it pours, is also pretty fitting for the drama that erupts.  At the close of the last chapter a black cloud was forming over Lhew and Ngaw, and over Pete by extension.  This chapter sees that black cloud grow into a full-blown deluge.  It’s almost as if an evil gremlin has been set loose to undermine our Friday College friends, and no one is safe.  In my opening comment to the chapter entitled Game, I mentioned that one of our boys was reading signs and deciding that he’s being played for a fool.  This is the chapter where that game is played out to its explosive conclusion.

The chapter begins somewhat ominously with Pete and Earn taking a taxi to the after party celebration, and Pete is worrying about Lhew while he questions himself about being a good friend to her.  Earn picks up on his quiet mood, but Pete downplays it when Earn questions him.  As they drive on Pete reflects on what transpired earlier at the stadium when he noticed Lhew absent from the stands as the game ended.  Learning from her friends that she had received a call and then excused herself to use the restroom, Pete decides to follow her out, only to find her talking to Ngaw near the entrance.  He lays low and stays out of sight as he watches them engage in a heated argument before storming off in separate directions.  Pete quickly catches up to her, but she remains silent until they return to their seats.  Earn calls Pete back into the present as he comments that the event is over, and Pete concurs noting how odd it will be not having any more practices.  Earn goes on about the enthusiastic crowd following the end of the game and how surprised he was by its reaction; sending Pete back into his recall of events.  It seems that once the game ended Pete searched for Lhew to discuss what happened with Ngaw, but the surge of the crowd made it impossible.  The Cheer Club members, along with Basketball Team, found themselves shuffled into a cordoned off area where they were surrounded by adoring Friday students and fans who pulled and pushed in a feeding frenzy of congratulating and picture taking.  Much to Pete’s consternation, Earn got the worst of it, but Pete got pawed plenty too.  Fortunately for Por, Josie stayed behind to guard her treasure, and eventually Card found a path to get everyone out of there, but by then Lhew and others had already left for the bar. 

When the boys arrive at the bar, Pete waxes nostalgically how it hasn’t changed since the Soccer Event.  Earn holds out his hand as he urges Pete to head in to find a large enough space to hold the celebration, and Pete happily takes his hand while determining not to worry as he reassures himself that he’ll find time to help Lhew once she arrives.  They enter and warn the owner to expect a huge crowd based upon all the messages they keep receiving on their phones.  Some Cheer Club members and Basketball players are already there, and they stake out a large area so that everyone will feel welcome to the celebration.  Because only their small circle of friends knows they are a couple, Pete briefly laments to himself that he and Earn will have to play it cool during this evening’s celebration.  They converse and get to know some of their club members a little better while they wait, and in under an hour the place is packed with celebrants.  Pete keeps catching people staring at them from a distance and starts to feel uncomfortable, but Earn picks up on it and puts his arm around Pete, relaxing him.  The beer flows as toast after toast greets the boys, and when Earn finally sees Por entering, he derides him for taking so long to arrive.  Por loudly and profanely explains there was traffic, as he and Earn bro hug.  Pete and Por greet each other with a fist bump, and Pete asks where Lhew and the others are.  Card informs them that the others are on their way and will be there soon, and Earn asks about Hack’s whereabouts.  They finally turn to Por to find out, and in a less than happy manner Por tells them that Hack is coming with Dirk and his friends.  In an effort to lighten Por’s mood, Pete encourages them to start celebrating, with a strong assist from Earn who throws a beer in front of Por and encourages him to chug it.  Card mentions to Pete that Por has been in a sour mood since they left the stadium, and Pete asks if Por will be okay.  When Card says he doesn’t know, Pete takes this as another ominous and foreboding sign.  Pete tries to reassure Card that they’ll patch it up once Dirk and Hack arrive, and Card seems to brighten up slightly as they watch Earn put Por into a headlock.

When Dirk and Hack arrive with their group of classmates, they apologize for being late and Por’s eyes light as he asks Hack to sit beside him, but he declines since there would be no room for the rest of the gang.  Although they sit on a couch directly across, Por’s face is plastered with disappointment and annoyance and he begins drinking increasingly, which prompts Pete to have Earn keep an eye on him.  Pete, meanwhile, has his attention focused on Card.  Card doesn’t know what Pete witnessed between Lhew and Ngaw, and Pete holds his tongue to prevent Card from getting even more pessimistic.  When the Angels finally arrive, they inject their infectious energy into the scene, and new rounds of liquor and beer are circulated.  Por rejoices when he sees Josie enter with Lhew and the other girls in tow and sweeps her into his arms, covering her with kisses.  While Rose and Tem take turns teasing Josie about rushing them to the party, Pete focuses on Lhew who is hanging back a bit.  Knowing that she’s putting up a front, he whispers to his Panda that he needs to speak to Lhew alone, and asks him to announce the new President and Vice-President of the Cheer Club while he does so.  Earn asks if it’s really that important, and Pete says it is.  When Earn expresses a feeling of being abandoned, Pete assures him he’ll explain it all later, and Earn begrudgingly agrees.  Pete resists the urge to plant one on him for being so understanding, but decides to save it for later when they get home.

We are about to plunge into the storm between Lhew and Ngaw that carried over from the last chapter, and we’ve seen the continuation of the cracks forming in the relationship between Por and Hack as well.  Card has had a nearly messianic vision that dark times are coming throughout the past couple of days too.  More importantly, Earn’s continued insecure uneasiness with respect to Pete has continued to slowly rise, despite his efforts to be congenial.  He’s just expressed to Pete that he’s feeling abandoned in the middle of an important responsibility, and although Pete has tried to be reassuring and promises to explain everything later on, Earn only gives in begrudgingly.  Pete knows Earn is bothered by his actions, but Pete has always been the peacemaker.  He feels responsible for his friends and obligated to be there for them.  Oil has commented to Pete on more than one occasion that his good nature is going to get him in trouble one day, and Pete is shortly going to understand exactly what he meant.

Pete greets the girls, making apologies for all the rowdy boys, but they downplay the issue noting they’re around rowdy boys a lot.  Pete explains that Por and Card will find them an appropriate place to sit and Pete whispers to Lhew that he wants to go somewhere to talk.  At first she’s a little concerned that everyone will notice their absence, but Pete is reassuring and they walk outside to a familiar spot where they sit down on a bench in the smoking area where they once before had an intimate talk.  Sighing heavily as they sit, Pete hands her a beer he grabbed on the way out, and they clink bottles and drink.  Admitting he’s nervous about prying, he asks Lhew if she wants to talk about it, and she frankly tells him no, admitting that it won’t stop him from asking again, so she blurts out that Ngaw broke up with her.  She explains how he turned up at the game and how they ended up out by the entrance to talk, and that she told him she’s not the girl he thinks she is.  She told him she’s crass and likes to flirt and that the image he’s made of her in his head is not really accurate.  When Pete asks about his attitude toward her hanging out with the group, she tells him that’s where she drew the line.  She was willing to work on her bad habits, but would never sacrifice her friends.  Although Pete feels joy over her resolve in this regard, he tells her that he hates seeing her like this.  Lhew tells him he’s sweet and thanks him, and then rests her head on his shoulder for comfort.  Pete unexpectedly questions this move, but she just asks him to be the old Pete for just a few minutes.  He genuinely feels her pain and comforts her by wrapping an arm around her.  He knows his feelings for her and not the same as his feelings for Earn, but he loves her as a friend and wants to make things better.  After a few minutes she sits up and tells Pete his hugs are still as warm as she remembers and Pete awkwardly thanks her before she gets up and pulls him to his feet before they go back inside to their friends.

This is a very sweet exchange and illustrates just how important this friendship is for both of them.  Lhew seems to be nostalgic for the past, but I think she really is just highlighting how much she appreciates Pete as a person.  Likewise, Pete admires Lhew’s devotion toward her friends and remains forever grateful for helping him grow and accept himself and his feelings toward Earn.  This is a very beautiful illustration that there can be true and lasting friendship after a love affair crashes.

The pair returns to an absolutely overcrowded scene inside with teenagers hanging off of everything but the light fixtures.  As they make their way back to their friends they walk directly into the eruption of the next storm in this chapter.  It seems that Earn has announced Odd as the next President and Choi the next Vice President of the Cheer Club, but Choi is dissatisfied with the result and is demanding a recount of club member votes.  The tension and drama are high as Card explains that although the count was close, Odd simply garnered more votes, but Choi persists in his objections calling the results bullsh*t.  Por finally jumps in telling Choi to quit whining and the scene escalates until Odd angrily declares that he never wanted to be in charge in the first place so he’s quitting, especially since he doesn’t want to be led by someone pretending to be his best friend before storming off shaking with anger.  Realizing what he said, Choi calls out and chases after him followed by Tee and some other boys.  Pete is taken aback by this eruption while the larger group of club members begins to fall into circles of conspiratorial whispers.  As Earn tries to calm everyone down, the members shout out their concerns over what these developments mean, forcing him to repeat his pleas for order and calm over and over.  Por tries to assist him in gaining order over the crowd but fails.  It’s Card’s demand for silence that creates the necessary opening for Earn to reassure the group that the current leadership will resolve the situation, and refocus their attention on celebrating the Basketball Team’s victory.  With back up support from Pete, Card and Por, the crowd finally returns to a celebratory mood and makes an energetic toast to Friday College. 

With the second storm in the past, our friends resume the party with only a vague sense of the next gathering storm.  As Lhew rejoins her friends, Pete grabs a seat next to Earn and apologizes for taking so long due to complications.  Earn tells him it’s fine in a tone that indicates that it’s anything but fine.  All he wants to know from Pete is if he said what he needed to say to Lhew.   Pete tells him he did, but that repairing things will take time, and Earn only offers an irritated grunt in response.  Pete reassures him that he’ll explain it all later while offering up a bottle for a toast which Earn hesitantly accepts as they clink bottles and drink.  From this point on, Pete focuses his attention on smoothing over Earn’s irritation and makes some meaningful headway.  Tee eventually returns with Choi and Odd and while they remain distant, at least they are on speaking terms.  The trouble is that the Basketball Team has returned with them and its leadership members are corralled into sitting with the Cheer Club leadership as a sign of school solidarity which essentially results in Pete being trapped between Earn on one side and Oil on the other.  Pete finds this arrangement a million times more awkward than his three-way date with Earn and Lhew.  He tries to be civil by making small talk with Oil while being attentive to Earn who seems to be upset already with Pete for disappearing after the game and not spending all his time with him.  As time passes, a lot of toasting and drinking transpires and Pete finds himself getting tipsy, but takes notice that Earn and Oil seem to be getting along a little better, rivalry aside.  Nevertheless, Pete still feels he’s in the middle and quickly finds being polite to Oil while attending to Earn exhausting.

The next thing Pete knows Lhew is calling his nickname and asking him to her to the restroom, and Oil quickly catches the “Penguin” reference with amusement.  Earn asks Lhew why she can’t just go by herself (calling her Lhewd) but she responds that it’s crowded and Pete will prevent her from getting pushed around.  Refusing to give in, Earn asks why Josie and Tem can’t her, but she motions toward them indicating that they’re too busy.  Earn tries to reply, but Pete finally stands declaring his own need to use the restroom and Earn responds with surprise as Oil looks on, soaking it all in.   Pete tells Earn to order more drinks and beer while he’s gone, and Earn reluctantly accepts the course of events, but tells Pete not to take too long.  As they make their way toward the bathrooms, Pete thanks Lhew for getting him out from between Earn and Oil.  Smiling, Lhew explains that from his facial expression, she could tell he wanted out just as they arrive at their destination.  As they pause for a brief moment, Pete suggests they go in since they’re standing there, and Lhew waves playfully, reminding Pete how beautiful and flirtatious she can be.  As he finishes up, Pete throws water on his face and decides that when he gets back to Earn, he should put some distance between himself and Oil, or at least make his relationship with Earn clearer to him, especially since Oil already hinted that he knows who Pete is dating.

Pete exits the bathroom to find Lhew waiting for him outside holding two bottles of beer.  After teasing him for taking so long that she thought he’d fallen in, he accepts the beer and they drink a toast.  Pete tells her they should order tequila and beer for their table, but she replies that it’s already handled as they see the order arrive and everyone yell with appreciation.  Checking his watch, Pete questions if he passed out while in the bathroom, and Lhew just giggles that he probably did before asking him when he was going to tell her about Oil crushing on him.  Pete explains that he just found out about it a week ago and that it kind of slipped his mind, but she just teases him about being oblivious before asking if he realized how much she used to cling to him when they were dating.  When Pete tells her that he just thought she liked to hold hands a lot, she agrees she does, but still chides him for being so blind.  Pete stutters a “shut up” at her and downs his beer, and she tells him it’s an adorable quality of his that makes him more attractive.  As they stand there awkwardly, Lhew finally asks him what he plans to do about them, referring to Earn and Oil.  He shares that he plans on airing things out, but that now he’s too nervous.  Suddenly Lhew declares she loves the song being played by the band and grabs Pete’s hand demanding a dance as an exercise in confidence building. 

They get to the dance floor in front of the stage and Pete feels the distance from the last time they danced together.  Lhew falls right into dancing but Pete remains unsure how to act.  After a while he loosens up, and Lhew places his hands on her hips and her arms around his neck.  As Pete looks at her, he realizes how sad she must feel having broken up Ngaw and that this dance is as much about making her feel better as it is about building his confidence.  He resolves in his mind that if this is the medicine she needs, then he’s fine with providing it.  As the song winds down to its conclusion, Pete suddenly hears commotion from the direction of their table and shouting by two familiar drunken voices.  As Earn and Oil yell at each other, Pete’s concern rises and he grabs Lhew to go find out what’s going on.  As they arrive on the scene Earn and Oil are grabbing each other by the collar, and Earn is demanding Oil take back what he said.  For his part, Oil stands by his statement as the truth and refuses, and although Earn dwarfs him, Oil isn’t backing down for a second.  Pete jumps into the fray telling them to break it up as he pushes on each of their shoulders, at which point Oil tells Earn he can ask Pete for himself if what he said is true or not.  To his credit, Earn yells that he trusts Pete and doesn’t need to ask him about anything.  Hearing this Pete begins to panic as he realizes this is about him and looks around quickly for his friends, but can find them nowhere in sight.  Lhew tries to tell Earn to stop, but he viciously turns on her warning her that he’s already pissed at her too.  As the storm grows larger by the second, Pete pushes harder on Earn and tells him to leave Lhew out of the argument, just as Oil tells Pete he’s managed to get everyone confused about him.  Before Pete can ask what he means he looks out at all the shocked faces and realizes that Oil’s teammates are standing behind him ready to pounce if things go against him.  Pete quickly tells Oil that he and Earn need to talk in private, and as Oil shrugs off the hand Pete has planted against his chest, he tells Pete to explain sh*t to Earn, and then taunts Earn claiming he knows where he stands while seeming to ask Earn if he can say the same.  Fortunately Pete separates the two and Card miraculously appears from nowhere to help restrain Earn while ordering Pete and Lhew to get him outside to settle things.  As Card curses having to deal with the mess, he turns to the crowd and encourages them to forget what they’ve seen and go back to celebrating.  The clash with Oil may have just been averted, but the biggest disaster is about to begin.

The final storm pops up with the speed of a funnel cloud as they walk to the parking area for some privacy, and Pete can’t help but wonder what Oil said to anger Earn to such a degree.  Earn shrugs off Pete and Lhew’s arms along the way as he furrows his brows.  With anger boiling, Pete asks Earn what’s gotten into him, only to get warned to be truthful by Earn in return.  Before Pete can utter a response, Earn accusingly asks Pete if he’s cheating on him.  Although flustered, Pete none-the-less answers with an unequivocal no.  Next Earn asks him about kissing Por, Tem and Rose, and almost kissing Card too, before questioning if he has any self-respect.  By this time Pete’s fury is sky high and he fervently warns Earn to get his sh*t clear before spewing it out like that.  Lhew jumps in trying to diffuse the situation but Earn suddenly directs his prodigious anger in her direction accusing her of trying to get closer than ever to Pete even though she knows Pete’s with him, then adding that he used to think of her as a friend but now sees her as a hung up girl clinging to his boyfriend.  Hearing this, Pete grabs Earn’s arm and orders him not to talk to her like that because she’s done nothing wrong.  With his anger rising even higher, Earn accuses Pete of playing along with her and ignoring his feelings, and dancing and hugging her so intimately as if he didn’t care about him.  Pushed beyond his limit, Pete takes a clear and cogent aim at Earn’s accusations and proceeds to shoot them down one by one.  First he explains that the kissing incident transpired long before they were together; reminding Earn that he was still moping about Noh at the time while he was still dating Lhew.  Pete steps forward and their chests bump as he recalls the unhappy memories of going to Earn’s house back then and calling him repeatedly at the time.  Second, he informs Earn that Lhew just broke up with Ngaw that night over being their friend, and yet still has the time to worry if they are all right and happy.  As Pete presses against him and Earn retreats a bit, he expresses his incredulity over Earn’s accusation of him not caring for his feelings by pointing out his efforts to focus on him and think of a good way to explain everything to him.  He finally adds that he’s cared for Earn as long as he can ing remember.  At this point the tornado is at full force and ready to wreak its devastation.

At first Earn is at a loss of how to respond, but then throws in that none of what Pete just said explains his dinner date with Oil.  Now Pete is at a momentary loss as he sifts through his memories, but shoots back that it wasn’t a date.  It was two friends having dinner after studying because his boyfriend refused his offer of help running his family’s errands.  With his feet planted firmly and squarely, Pete shouts that he and Oil are just friends.  As they silently glare into each other’s eyes, Pete sees no warmth or understanding, but only a drunken fool who jumped to conclusions without asking him first.  With an aching heart, Pete asks Earn if he’s always thought of him in this way, and Earn tells him no; adding that he loves him.  Pete asks Earn if he trusts him, and desperately hangs there waiting on his answer before Earn confirms that he does, but quickly adds he just doesn’t trust other people.  This leaves Pete to ask Earn if he wants him to avoid other people too, and Earn at first answers yes, then no, then pleads he doesn’t really know what he wants.  Earn finally admits that hearing all about Pete’s past will just make him worry as he stares at the ground to avoid making eye contact.  Off in the distance they can hear the music inside the bar playing which only serves to amplify the silence built up between them as the eye of the storm passes over them; but within seconds the backside of the storm is upon them, lashing at them furiously.

Feeling lost but knowing what he must do, Pete takes a deep breath and tells Earn that he thinks they need some time apart.  Shocked and stunned by panic, Earn can only ask “What?”  With a shattering heart, Pete repeats that they need to take a break from each other.  Earn reaches out as he asks why, but Pete steps back knowing that he would lose his resolve if they make physical contact.  Pete speaks honestly and tells Earn that his desire to isolate him from others either because he doesn’t trust him or doesn’t trust them… just means they need to figure things out.   All Earn can muster in response is a somber, “Penguin…”; but when Pete asks him if he even knows why he got that nickname, Earn just falls silent and grows gloomier.  As the pain in his heart builds to unbearable intensity, Pete points out that Earn is angry with him for things he’s learned about from his past yet never thought to ask him about something so simple.  Earn reaches out for his hand, but Pete again withdraws, telling Earn that he’ll see him at school.  He turns away with tears welling up in his eyes and his world goes black.  The devastation is complete at this point, and Pete covers his eyes and runs off, hearing the faint sound of his name being called followed by heavy footsteps that stumble and fall over.

Pete somehow makes it to a cab and jumps in, only becoming vaguely aware that another body bumps into him and sits beside him, telling the driver to go.  As the cab carries them away, the smell of honey fills the air, and a worried and saddened Lhew looks back at him.  All Pete can do is stare out into the night as they head off to nowhere.  Eventually Lhew has them dropped off at a park near the river, and she pays for the cab and drags Pete out into a gray and colorless life.  Her warm hand takes his cold one and leads him to a bench where they sit under nothingness but for a shining moon.  Pete sits in silence with his focus on the choppy waves on the river and reflects on how he wishes he could wake up tomorrow and have all this just be a horrible dream.  He laments that he thought they had everything put together, and now doesn’t know where he stands; only that he hurts terribly.  Lhew tells him that everything will be all right, and in the still air he wants to believe her words, but despair is hitting him like the waves on the river and he feels exhausted.  His head falls onto her shoulder as his eyes open into rivers of tears.  Her warm hand lays on his head and softly brushes his hair as he says, “No… it won’t.”

The path of devastation through this chapter is pretty wide as friendships and relationships are torn asunder. Of course the last break up is the ugliest and the most heartbreakingly painful.  In comments on prior chapters I indicated that Oil was going to be trouble and that certainly proved to be true.  His previous warnings about Pete’s good nature were almost clairvoyant, except that he also played the pivotal role in upsetting Earn beyond the point of no return, so an argument can be made that he plotted to break them up all along to get Pete for himself perhaps.  Of course Oil’s role may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, but other factors fueled Earn’s wild spree of spurious and speculative thinking, including the kissing incident with Por, Rose, Tem and Card, and his erroneous conclusions about Lhew hanging on Pete out of desperation.  So laying it all at Oil’s feet might turn out to be grossly unfair, especially since he presumably had no knowledge of these other events.  From what we currently know, he could be accused of taking advantage of an ugly situation as he sensed Earn was ripe for being played and went for his jugular to satisfy their old rivalry.  But the most important factor in Earn’s derailment is his own psychology.  Assuming he really trusts Pete (and he states he does, but also indicates that Pete’s past makes him feel unsure), why doesn’t he trust other people around Pete?  What is behind this issue for him?  Is he insecure?  Does he suffer from self-esteem issues?  I could go on and on, but he has some serious explaining and growing to do.

Pete is not blameless in this natural disaster either.  In fact he made a very essential contribution to setting it up.  Oil’s crack about his good nature getting him into trouble points the way to how Pete unconsciously set the confrontation into motion by trying to please everyone around him.  We already know Pete is a peacemaker and sees his role in his family of friends as the glue that holds them all together.  Earn has more than once in this story commented that his tendency to keep his eyes out for the welfare of others is one of the things he loves the most about Pete, but this is also what sets Pete at odds with Earn’s distrust of others in respect to Pete.  Additionally, Pete’s nature sets him up to taken advantage of by less than scrupulous people, of which Oil may in fact be an example (or not as the case may be – we still do not know his full motives in relation to Pete and especially Earn, in particular).   I don’t mean to judge Pete negatively, but his willingness to trust makes him a target.  Couple this with Lhew’s observations that Pete is inobservant and oblivious.  Card has made the same observation about Pete as well.  This quality in Pete more than once causes him to overlook the seriousness of Earn’s distress which only adds to Earn’s feelings of neglect and abandonment.  In earlier chapters, Pete sat obliviously by as Oil openly flirted with him.  His complete miscomprehension of Oil’s motives actually resulted in encouraging Oil by leaving him with the impression that he had a chance with Pete.  There is a definite pattern of consequences resulting from Pete’s obliviousness.  I hazard to think this aspect of Pete’s personality is born of his trustful nature and his tendency to believe that most people in his world (aside from Phun, of course) are inherently good. 

So where do the boys go from here?  Is reconciliation a possibility?  Well, there is always hope.  If they really do love one another and are willing to take honest ownership of how they arrived at this critical and devastating break, they may yet repair the damage and grow beyond it.   Right now, Pete is in a very dark and lonely place and he’s filled with doubt and indecision, so I’m pretty sure it’s not going happen in the next chapter.  And what about Earn?  Judging from his condition at the end of this chapter he may not even remember much of the details at all, only the result.  How he journeys to a place of growth and reconciliation is anyone’s guess at this point.  As it stands, Earn has pointed his finger at and implicated each and every member of their family of friends (with the exception of Hack) as being members of the group “of other people” he does not trust, especially Lhew.  In spite of this, the one thing I believe we can count on is that their friends are going play a pivotal role in helping them recover from this horrendous predicament, but first Earn has to learn to trust them and they are going to have to forgive him for his mistakes.  But it will not be easy for any of them, since you can’t un-ring a bell no matter how much you wish you could or how hard you try.  No matter how you slice it, this is more than just a lover’s quarrel or a failed relationship.  No one escapes damage in this chapter.

This is brilliant storytelling.  I can’t wait to see what’s to come.  Thank you again for such searing entertainment.