I hardly ever tell anyone what I truly feel. What I learned in this world, after almost two decades of my existence is that, you can never be completely true. Somehow there will always be that lie, even the tiniest one, which will separate your words from the truth, henceforth, masking your real emotions and creating a fraudulent facade. 

 

My writings are reflections of my emotions. My words are windows to my soul. But also, these scenarios I create in my imagination and put to paper are mostly things that I don't have or don't experience. If I write a character so close to a father, that would be because personally I am not. If I write a character so forgiving, that would be because I can't. If I write a scenario so happy and so surreal, that is because I can never attain that level of freedom. If I write my protagonist as strong, free and blissful, that would simply because I myself cannot be like that.

 

My stories are my escape route and my words are my channels. If reality pisses me off that I'd rather vanish into thin air than be there at that stubbon moment, then I'll grab my laptop and write whatever I feel. Only then I could feel that I am free. Pitiful it may sound but this little paradise that I created using my imagination, harnessing my God-given talent, is the closests thing that I have to what is actually me. 

 

For now I may be voiceless and nobody may listen to whatever this is that I wanted to say, but I pray, that someday I'm going to have my peace. And I hope when that day comes I can finally live the real me and cast off this mask that I always seemed have to wear. Because we live to please people, if we don't then nobody in this world would want to be with us. If we stay true to each other all the time then the whole world will be in chaos. I guess that is something I could be thankful of? We say lies in order to keep our peace. What a pitiful world this is.