Chapter 20: Renew

Well what’s not to love about this chapter? 
1. Teaser opening – Check!
2. Half n*ked guys washing cars – Check!
3. Maybe a new love story (PorHack) – Check!
4. Card calling Grace a b*tch – Check!
5. Lhew calling Earn a d*ck – Check!
6. Earn crossing Lhew – Check!
7. Phun crossing Earn – Check!
8. Earn and Pete end in bed together (again) – Check!

The idea of holding a fundraising car wash before the Christmas fair is clever enough, but taking advantage of the setting to inject all the s*xual innuendo, teasing, flirting, fighting, drama and general horseplay is just icing on the cake. Best of all, without the interference of the series’ half-baked storylines, we get a fun and coherent series of events that not only entertain, but surprise and engage us. The core characters are in full bloom here and are ready to offer us a great time. This is a really fun chapter with some unexpected twists. 

The unexpected highlights for me start when Pete reveals that Hack has developed a crush on Por during their computer design lessons. Pete’s been commenting the past few chapters about how hot Por looks with his shirt off, so we know what Hack sees in him (not to mention that Por is fun-loving, funny and extremely social). Pete starts off stating that Por only thinks of Hack as a younger brother and has no idea that Hack likes him, and Pete’s telling of Hack trying to get Por to go to a computer convention at Siam Paragon is adorable. While Pete claims that he would never reveal Hack’s feelings so as not to mess-up their friendship, when he sees Hack’s obvious joy when Por agrees to go, Pete can’t help but tease them, “So it’s a date?” But Por throws it right back at Pete and jabs at how Pete and Earn are connected at the hip. As Pete turns the hose on Por and Por grabs a towel to whip at Pete, the scene degenerates into head-locking mayhem until Card stops the duo with statement and Earn with his dimples. This is just a delight! 

The next surprise features a mystery customer requesting Pete’s car washing services. This sends Pete and Earn across the lot with Earn’s arm draped over Pete’s shoulder, walking skin-to-skin while Earn wipes sweat from Pete’s brow along the way. It turns out the mystery customer is Lhew. Pete embraces her and kisses her through the car window, and Earn wants to know what he’s missing. Pete stumbles over introducing Lhew to Earn, and Lhew introduces herself as Pete’s girlfriend. She manages to knock Earn off balance when she congenially calls him a “ball of muscle” as they shake hands. As the boys wash her car, Lhew chats with them about the Christmas fair and the dunking stations and why they have to hold the car washing fund raiser. When Lhew says that it doesn’t seem fair that all this extra work has to be done over the cost mix-up on the dunk tanks, Earn gets high-handed and talks down to Lhew about friendship and duty. Pete jumps in trying to calm things down, but things only escalate when Lhew takes a dig at Earn, while seemingly agreeing with his lecture about duty and friendship. Pete turns the hose on Earn to break things up and then falls into a private talk with Lhew off to the side during which she expresses her frustration about not seeing Pete for over a week and relates her envy that Earn gets most of his time. When they get back to her car, Lhew playfully trades barbs with first Por, and then Card (who not surprisingly turns out not to be in the mood for playfulness – pointedly calling Lhew “Lhewd” to make his point and staring her down). “He must have gotten a crappy customer.” Por points out.

Another surprise is immediately upon us, because that “crappy” customer is none other than Lhew’s best friend, Grace, with two other friends in tow. Grace’s arrival prompts an immediate and dramatic shift in Lhew’s character that startles all the boys (except Pete) as she shifts into her overly dramatic girlfriend persona. As Grace derides Por for being a foul-mouthed boy and talks down to Card like he’s a laborer (which he kind of is in this setting) she manages to get up everyone’s nose. Once she and her friends depart to the concession stand, Lhew relaxes. Por and Card walk off after Cards states, “Well I have to clean that b*tch’s car” - not caring that she’s Lhew’s best friend. Earn steps in next (to repay Lhew for the “off the radar” dig from earlier?) by asking Lhew why she acts so fake around Grace. This puts Lhew immediately on the defensive, and she flat out denies being fake. Earn turns it around and asks Lhew how she acts around Pete, implying if that when she’s acting fake. When Pete tries to defend Lhew, Earn asks Pete if even really knows her, taking direct issue with her behavior in a clearly accusatory and deprecating tone. “I’m right here, you d*ck.” Lhew retorts, then adds, “I don’t have to explain sh*t to you anyway.” The boys exchange irritated words over this event. Pete telling Earn that he has no right to talk to his girlfriend like that and Earn telling Pete he just doesn’t want to see him get ed over. After Lhew leaves, Pete explains her behavior to everyone, and they all eventually accept his explanation. That is everyone except Earn. The exchanges between Lhew and Earn I thought were really nicely done. They just don’t quite sync up with each other. Lhew knows Pete likes Earn, but Earn doesn’t really know it. Yet somehow, he comes off as both protective of Pete and bordering on being jealous. Is it just because he needs his friend so much right now, or are his feelings about Pete changing?

With the surprises temporarily on hold, Earn asks Pete if he can sleepover at his house on the upcoming Saturday. Pete admits to himself that he loves the sleepovers but that they are edging into inappropriate territory (having picked this up from Lhew’s earlier visit) and tries to diplomatically tell Earn this but they are interrupted by Chanel. It seems that the day has been a success and they have raised the money they need to cover the extra expenses. At this point Chanel reveals the group’s desire to keep working and earn a little extra money to help out Por, who they know to be in some financial difficulties thanks to “a little bird.” Pete and Earn deduce that Card is behind this and readily agree to continue. This part of the story is written with a lot of playful and humorous flirting and gives us another glimpse into Card’s character. After Chanel departs, Pete tries to return to their earlier conversation. He feels it is unhealthy to be Earn’s personal teddy bear while in a steady relationship with Lhew. He resolves to be his support, but without the daily sleepovers, but circumstances once again conspire against Pete bringing it up. 

So am I reading Pete’s feelings correctly here? He is taking the position that Lhew is who he is currently dating steadily and is not allowing Earn’s sleepovers to effect his emotions? I know he is ostensibly allowing Earn to cuddle him each night to improve his morale, but he’s not driven crazy by this? And he remains level-headed enough to actually want to stop the sleepovers? How could he look at Earn as ball of muscles with dimples that melt his heart but not be driven nuts by having the guy cling to him every night. I’m not saying he couldn’t keep his overt actions toward Earn in check, but his emotions would be far more engaged (or enraged for that matter) and those emotions would have consequences beyond just not having time to see Lhew for a week. He’d be a seething cauldron of emotions in this head and body.

The final surprise enters when Card cuts into their lunchtime to tell Earn he has a special request customer for a carwash who is willing to pay double the rate for him to wash the car. (We get a good joke by Card on Earn in here too as a bonus.) Earn acquiesces, pulling Pete into it and the three walk off toward the customer, grilling Card about the scheme to help Por along the way. When they get to customer’s car, it turns out to be Phun. Earn immediately balks, but they strong-arm him into staying. (Card gets another stinging line in when Phun calls him Cardwell.) When Pete walks off to get some towels, he worries about leaving Phun and Earn alone for fear that Earn will emerge emotionally hurt, essentially undoing all the work Pete has put in to cheering him up over the past few weeks. Sure enough, when Pete returns with the towels, Earn is staring into Phun’s eyes with furrowed brows and clenched fists. When Pete asks them what they were talking about, Phun tells him it is really none of his business, at which point Pete’s fist is stopped by Earn telling him not to worry about it in a depressed tone of voice. In the end Phun pays triple for the wash. 

They are now at the end of their day and everyone is cleaning up and getting ready to leave. Pete receives a text from Lhew asking if she can come over later, but Pete doesn’t immediately reply. Based on the unexpected run-in with Phun, Earn asks if he can spend the night at Pete’s. Under the circumstances, Pete cannot refuse, and Earn hugs him from behind thanking Pete for always being there for him. Pete finally return’s Lhew’s text begging off due to exhaustion. I have to say this is probably my favorite passage in the chapter. Phun is written so true to expression, but the character is given such an underhanded slant from Pete’s perspective. In Pete’s mind Phun’s consummate politeness shields darker motives. I also appreciate that Pete doesn’t like Phun. His secondary rivalry with Phun really helps support the Earn-Phun tension as well as draw Pete and Earn together. 

So has Pete just made a critical choice? Does his choice of Earn over Lhew mean something larger than it seems in these circumstances? It sure could, but it’s hard to know, especially when he was twice about to put an end to the nightly sleepovers with Earn. The next chapter can’t come soon enough. Thanks!

 

Chapter 21: Fair

Due to my current working situation and the resulting brain fog of waking and sleeping at odd hours I’m finding it hard to focus without falling asleep. This has absolutely nothing to do with the content of this story, but my thoughts are even less acute than usual, so I’m going to make this short. 

Overall, there is nothing in this story that changes any of the praise I have provided for your original content and the characters you’ve developed. Your use of the series as a backdrop to tell your own story is as strong as ever. We have already discussed the opening so you know my opinion. Having Pete clarify for himself his relationship to Earn at the start of the chapter works on all fronts. It reiterates the last chapter and sets up the tension coming in the immediate future. The questions in Pete’s mind are obviously going to be significant, but they’re dropped in a natural way.

Card’s crankiness is right in line with his character, but it portends something more serious. He’s in a right pissed mood from the get-go. Love the flirting with the Angels and Por being first in the tank. It doesn’t seem fair since he’s so good-natured but it works for his character since he’s such a loudmouth and loves attention. I also like the idea of Ohm taking a turn in the hot seat as well. When Card thinks he and Pete are going to walk the fair together his mood brightens briefly (even offering to pay for Pete’s food), but turns dark again when Earn comes along too, especially when Pete endorses Earn’s desire to join them. The whole exchange at the food booth underscores that there is clearly an issue of some kind in Card’s mind revolving around Pete and by extension, Earn. Pete even makes a comment about Earn and Card fighting while he plays mediator. After Earn is escorted to his watery fate, and Krissy makes a joke about Earn being Pete’s husband, Pete’s response to the joke catches Card off guard. Shortly thereafter, Pete asks Card point-blank if he’s okay. As Card is about to come out with a question he’s been burning ask Pete, Por interrupts them and breaks it off. What is developing here? Is Card going to ask if Pete and Earn are dating? Is Card going to ask Pete if he’s bi? Is Card going to ask Pete is he likes him or perhaps confess something? The interrupted question sets-up some good suspense, and I look forward to seeing where it’s going to go.

Lhew makes a nice appearance and it is interesting see how Pete stills feels about her. The glimpse Pete gets of Earn looking at Noh with a sh*t-eating grin leads into Pete and Lhew’s time spent walking around the fair and having fun together. It’s all too short a time, IMO, and Lhew disappears too soon after running into Grace for good dose of b*tch, but at least she made it into the chapter.

The segment in the bathroom as Earn and Pete change is humorous. The two them can’t seem to keep their eyes off each other anymore than they can stand up on a wet floor. The falling scene is reminiscent of the Phun-Noh slip in the driveway, but it works fine here and gets the point across about their emotional state. Clearly there is a shift in their feelings toward each other, even if Earn still makes google eyes at Noh. But in the end, Pete is back to telling himself that Earn doesn’t like him out of self-protection. He tells himself that Lhew is the right choice, but he’s clearly not convinced.

I think all the events in this chapter read as written and move the story along just fine. There is the mystery hanging over Card, but other than that there are no huge events or surprises. Not that there needs to be. The characters are now capable of being engaging without drama every 5 seconds. This is an entertaining chapter. I look forward to 22. Thanks.

 

Chapter 22: Present

Happy, happy, happy! A chapter free of the series is always a great starting point for me as you already know. This round takes us further into the developments in Pete’s relationship to both Earn and Lhew with some rather pleasant side trips along the way. By the end of this chapter we get a clear sense of where Pete is finally heading, even if his journey is still ongoing.

From the opening scene of the meeting I thought we were at Card’s house (spacious living room) but I was dead wrong because we’re actually at Earn’s and the group of boys from the Cheer Team (Earn, Pete, Card, Por and Hack) are gathered to wrap up their report on past events and make plans for future ones. The meeting includes, as it turns out, some new or rarely mentioned names (Tee, Odd and Rad, a senior) and two Angels, Chanel and Bell. But even before we get into the meeting details, Pete’s mind is already spinning with thoughts about his relationship with Earn and parsing the meaning of a diminution in their physical contact, the cessation of Earn’s sleepovers in the preceding week and anticipating whether the sleepover planned for this very night is even going to transpire; all while questioning his own feelings and motives in the process. When the group meeting comes into focus, it quickly moves to the presentation of the gift they conspired to present to Por. As is turns out, Por has a mighty thoughtful and caring group of friends who present him with a new laptop (dubiously purchased by Card through a murky transaction making it non-returnable). The whole scene is very entertaining and delightfully touching, from the blindfolded presentation by Hack, through Por’s honor-bound refusal and final acceptance (prompted by Card’s curt reminder that he can’t return it). I loved Earn shoving the blindfold into Por’s mouth while giving him the envelope of money. What are friends for, right? After the meeting breaks and they all file out to depart, Earn and Pete stand outside while Bell and Chanel wait for a taxi. When Chanel and Bell learn that Pete is staying with Earn, they joke with Earn about being Pete’s mistress, but Pete fires back that Earn is not side chick material and gets a prompt “ you” and a smack on the forehead from Earn in return. Chanel quips it’s a “lovers’ quarrel” before Earn orders them into their arriving taxi, but Bell gets the last laugh calling them Mr. and Mrs. President as they drive off. This entire passage is very playful and a funny way to move the story along.

The boys head to Earn’s room to work on their homework assignments, but a few hours in Pete notices an awkward change in the air between him and Earn. Whenever Pete touches or leans against Earn he pulls away and tenses up. At this point Pete initiates a break from studying and the boys stand and stretch their muscles. When Pete notices Earn kneading his shoulder, he volunteers to give Earn a massage, but immediately back peddles in his mind, while Earn responds that he’s all for it so Pete has to proceed. Earn quickly flops face down on the bed with Pete standing over him thinking that this is the first time his massaged someone who is face down on their stomach. He kneels down beside Earn and starts unknotting his back and after a while Earn unwittingly lets him know he can push harder which only excites Pete’s imagination. When Pete stops to rotate his arm, Earn grabs a bottle of lotion from the nightstand while taking off his tank top. Pete can’t help but gaze at Earn’s delicious torso and think back to playing with his s during their past drunken sleepover. When Earn returns face down to his bed while telling Pete he can climb on top of him to continue the massage if the angle is hurting his neck, Pete thinks he won the lottery. But Earn also tells Pete not to get any ideas followed by a joke about knowing Pete knows how to use “that thing” as he puts it, and Pete reassures him that he’ll be gentle while grabbing his a*s which gets him a slapped hand and a “ you” from Earn in response. As he rubs the lotion across Earn’s back, Pete finds himself getting turned 0n despite thinking its wrong, but admits he can’t help himself. He even finds himself wanting rub his hard on in between Earn’s a*s cheeks, but quickly tries to make U-turn in his mind by reminding himself that Lhew is his steady girlfriend and quickly concludes the massage. This is a really sensuous passage in the chapter and very hot for the steamy lust it draws out of Pete. In the throes of his emotions, Pete finally shares some serious insights into how much of an impact Earn can have on him and his description of Earn’s body is absolutely luscious. Pete may back away from the reality of these feelings as he tries to re-focus his attention toward Lhew, but he cannot deny the power of his attraction to Earn.

When Earn offers to reciprocate by giving a massage to Pete, Pete silently refers to having just rationalized his way into believing what he’s doing is wrong, but Earn teasingly calls him Penguin (wickedly stealing Lhew’s nickname for Pete – nice touch) while forcibly pulling Pete’s shirt off over his head. Once he’s face down on the bed, Pete finds Earn sitting on top of his a*s and he vows not to let himself get too excited; he quickly finds the experience relaxing, until Earn starts the tickling war. The war quickly escalates into a wrestling match with each vying to best the other but it ends with Pete pinned by Earn face-to-face on the bed gasping to catch their breath. As they hang in suspension they stare deeply into each other’s eyes and Pete feels that their faces are moving closer and closer together and just as their noses about touch, the tension of the moment is broken by Pete’s ringing cellphone. Earn quickly jumps off and Pete is left feeling relieved that something which shouldn’t have happened didn’t. It turns out to be Pete’s housekeeper on the phone asking if she should cook his dinner, but he confirms he’s staying the night at Earn’s and rings off. The boys return to their homework with Earn completing his assignments while Pete catches up on his texts with friends. Eventually they find their way to the dinner table talking about their English speaking skills as they eat. When Earn laments that he sometimes gets embarrassed by his lisp (adorable alert!), Pete tries to reassure him and then declares that he’ll set Earn’s detractors straight if necessary. Earn makes the comment that when they were younger it was the other way around, but Pete tells him things change over time. They both agree however, that their friendship has never faltered, although Pete finds himself wishing deep down they more than friends, and senses in Earn’s eyes something is not right with him either. So I have to say that the wrestling/tickling war so reminds me of my high school days and the antics me and my boyfriend used to get into. You so nailed that experience, and thanks for rekindling my naughty/happy memories. I found the conversation between Pete and Earn over dinner really touching and sweet; a nice mix of a nostalgia for their past along with their commitment and intimacy with each other.

Talk turns to holiday plans and Pete suddenly finds himself the recipient of a surprise gift from Earn. As Earn presents the wrapped gift he tells Pete it’s a thank you for all the things Pete’s done for him all year, which thoroughly flusters Pete. Pete rips off the wrapping to gratefully find that Earn has remembered that he needs a new pair of flip-flops. (How hilariously symbolic is this gift? I laughed so hard the more I thought about it. It’s an absolutely wicked idea. Bravo!) After a playful smack down argument over their color, Pete intends to give Earn a gift in return, but discovers he forgot to include it in his bag with his clothes. Earn isn’t bothered by this indicating that he’ll get it the following night when he sleeps at Pete’s and quickly takes leave to hit the shower before Pete realizes that he hasn’t yet told him that he’s going out the next night with Lhew. While Earn showers, Pete goes online to check his facebook and he feels guilty for spending so much time with Earn when he runs across pictures of Lhew, who just happens to be calling him for a video chat at that moment. After exchanging greetings, Lhew notices that Pete is not in his own room, and when Pete lets out that he’s at Earn’s, Lhew raises a brow and seems uneasy so Pete deliberately fibs to her to prevent her from getting upset. She finally just comes out and asks Pete if he’s staying the night and he stutters back that he is, but that he’s leaving early the next morning to get ready for their date. This has the desire effect and they end the call happily confirming the date with waves and kisses to each other before signing off. At that moment Earn speaks out to Pete confirming that he’s just heard about Pete’s date the next night, and while he says he’s cool with it, Pete sees something different in his eyes. As Pete showers he can’t help but contemplate his situation and the complex of feelings and pressures as he finds himself sliding deeper and deeper into a conflict of interest between Earn and Lhew where one or the other is always feeling neglected. After his shower, Pete emerges to find Earn badgering him to quickly join him and friends for a round of online gaming and as he settles in, Pete once again determines not to hang false hopes on Earn and to focus on Lhew, the girl he professes to care for dearly.

Thinking back to where Pete started we can see he has grown quite a bit, while some aspects of him remain the same. He still flip-flops and still likes to keep his options open (I previously called it driving on both sides of the road), but now his concerns are not about who he is and his s*xual attractions, but who he loves. Since the early days in this story, he has come to understand and accept his s*xual nature, and has evolved to recognize his feelings for his best friend, who at the time had his heart set on pursuing Noh, which left Pete feeling a bit burned, confused and vulnerable. But Pete also initiated a fully realized relationship with a bright young woman named Lhew (also a friend from earlier in his life) and it was with her support that he matured on many levels, so he naturally has strong feeling for her. We have seen the last few chapters moving in a persistent direction, however, and Pete has been gravitating toward Earn and away from Lhew in subtle but noticeable ways. He has spent more time with Earn, and shared increasingly more intimate moments with him. His times with Lhew have been fewer and farther between, and her reactions to Earn have become more critical, denoting an underlying concern for Pete’s feelings toward him and toward herself as a consequence. In his own mind Pete is still insisting that he has to protect himself from wanting more from Earn to avoid getting hurt, but that just points out that he now knows that is precisely what he wants. On other side of Pete is Lhew, the girlfriend he keeps having to remind himself he has and how much he cares about her. The end of this chapter clearly shows that he’s keenly aware that he’s in the middle of a triangle and that the two other points are both pulling on him to lean their respective ways. We already know which direction Pete wants to go, and this is what grips our interest. There will be developments for Pete, Earn and Lhew coming soon I have no doubt, and I look forward to their unfolding with great anticipation. Great job! Thanks.

 

Chapter 23: Denouement

I’m going to have to be brief due to time constraints on my end, so don’t mistake brevity as dislike. Truthfully, I really enjoyed this chapter a ton. It is long, yes, but I don’t find that an issue in the slightest. I think arc to the chapter mandates and indeed, justifies the length. On the contrary, I would argue that you could elaborate in some areas as well (not that it’s necessary, however). 

The interesting opening and flashback to Earn being moody and down the previous night and that morning was a clever way to fix Pete’s attention on Earn’s character. Instead of having Earn haunting Pete in a purely positive way (his lisp, his body, his dimples, etc.), Pete also gets to relate to him out of concern and empathy. It makes the facets of his feelings for Earn more realistic, and developed more mature level (as opposed to a simple crush-like relation). The other aspect that the opening in the restaurant lends is a false sense of what is about to come. Pete is taking Lhew out for a fancy meal to celebrate after not getting together for a proper date in a while (three Cheers for Card and his betting acumen), they are exchanging Christmas presents as tokens of their feelings for each other, he professes to be having a great time, and Lhew seems positively radiant in her joyfulness. I was pulled along by the setting, their mood, their teasing, and their actions toward one another (the kiss over the table) into wondering how what I anticipated was going to be the unwinding of their relationship could happen in this chapter. Then the ground shook during the movie as Pete and Lhew hold hands. Pete looks over at Lhew and sees Earn instead, signaling that there is trouble ahead. There has to be with a signal like that. How can this not suggest that he would rather be holding Earn’s hand in the dark theater instead of Lhew’s? 

After the movie they chat about it for a bit and the next sign of danger ahead flashes our way when Pete senses his body gives no heat off while he holds Lhew’s hand during an escalator ride out of the mall. Even worse, he looks at their reflection in the mirrored wall and sees a perfect couple with great opportunities, but can’t find the warmth or electricity in the relationship. This fades briefly as Lhew playfully drags Pete toward the exit, but they run into a friend of Lhew’s from the Convent and another rift opens in the relationship as Pete once again witnesses a shift in Lhew’s personality unfold before his eyes. Suda and Hal, although shallowly perfect together, seem like a match made in hell. Fortunately, their appearance is brief and really just a vehicle for getting Pete to talk to Lhew about her behavior around her friends. I enjoyed getting a more in-depth look into Lhew’s motivations as well as the expectations put upon her by her family and status as a student at the Convent. She comes off very human and you can’t help but feel sympathy for her. The interesting part happens in Pete’s head as he compares the way Lhew seems to live a double life to the way he seems to feel he does. Pete steps up though, and paraphrases her advice to him when he was coming to terms with his s*xuality, and parrots it back to her as show of support for the person she is, and he pledges to be there for her. As they embrace in a hug, Pete is once again reminded of his lack of reaction to their physical contact, and compares it openly to how he reacts when Earn hugs him. This reminds him of how often Earn keeps popping into his head and he then begins to wonder what he’s thinking and why he looks depressed. 

They hail a cab to go to a party Lhew’s friend Josie invited them to, and while the destination is a mystery to Pete, Lhew assures him that it’s not dive. On the ride there Pete exchanges an upbeat series of texts from Earn that relieve his concerns about him for the time being. They arrive at the scene of the party which turns out to be a very nicely appointed hotel. This is the point in the chapter where I started struggling. Everything so far has been logical. By that I mean the events flowed naturally through the meal, the present exchange, the movie, running into Suda, the cab ride to the hotel, even the party scene on the roof and meeting Josie and her friends. Even the girls dancing to What Do You Mean could really happen, although perhaps not a perfectly as depicted in this story. Anyway, all of these events flowed together and seemed like a natural progression. Then the band gets Pete on stage to sing. That seemed a bit fantastic to me. In fact even Pete thought so, and was scared sh*tless. Yes, I know that’s supposed to help make it work, but I really struggled with the plausibility. And yes, the band was supportive and said they’d help Pete and cover for him if he got into trouble, but I still wasn’t happy. Then the song that essentially describes the reason for the breakup of Pete and Lhew’s relationship just happens to be among the songs tossed up on the stage that Pete by pure chance picks at random and has to sing; which he does in a show stopping display of heart-wrenching emotion that leaves him in tears. In my mind this just seems terribly contrived from a plot perspective. Outside of that major concern did I enjoy it? Absolutely, I enjoyed it, but I just don’t believe it.

Once Pete gets off stage they immediately leave the party in a cab ride devoid of energy and emotion. It’s not until they get inside and sit down with some water that they speak. Pete admits that he’s tired. He’s tired of playing mind games with himself, tired of disappointing everyone, and tired of feeling guilty. He admits that he was lying to himself for the past month about his true feelings toward Earn as well as Lhew and he knows what has to be done to resolve everything. He tries to say it, but Lhew interrupts him, telling him they can make this work, but Pete isn’t convinced. Lhew asks if she’s to blame, citing her being different and how that can be burdensome. Pete assures her that has nothing to do with it and points out that he will always encourage support her for who she is. Lhew even asks if things would have turned out differently if Pete had never faced his attraction to guys, but Pete firmly negates this, knowing that his feeling for Earn would be there anyway. In the end, Lhew asks Pete for one last night, and he complies. 

The close of this chapter starting from their arrival at Pete’s house up to the last paragraph was perfect. The story shifted back to complete plausibility and the emotional exchanges and dialogue were spot on. There is a “but” – there’s always a “but.” I don’t like the last line. It strikes me as soooo cliché. I’m sorry. It’s like a Harlequin romance novel. Ugh. The whole room full of candles imagery strikes me like that. I know you won’t drop it, but I have to make my case. I think leaving the prior line as the closing line is a far better choice.

In spite of my gripes, I really liked this chapter. In fact this flows better than many of the others (with the exception I already pointed out). Lhew came across as more vulnerable but far more human than she had before. I’m sorry to see her fade out. You did a great job with her. Pete is now a free man and I can't wait to see how you're going to proceed. I hope it's a long courtship, but I wouldn't be surprised if you had them in bed together in the next chapter. Thanks a ton for your hard work. :)

 

Chapter 24: Lay

There is a positive energy in this chapter that makes it very invigorating to read. Pete shows a real vulnerability at both the start and the end, but he also shows that he has grown emotionally in several ways, even as he struggles to come to grips with having broken up with Lhew and hurt her deeply. He is very honest with himself in this chapter and shows real emotional and personal growth in understanding his feelings toward both Lhew and Earn (even if he can’t yet bring his feelings for Earn out into the open). I know Pete’s clearly in distress most of this chapter, either from the break up with Lhew or his quandary over sharing his feelings with Earn, but I also know he will find his way out of it in the long run. He seems to have finally assembled most of the resources he needs to feel his way forward, even if he doesn’t know exactly how to do so or which path he will take. 

Pete awakens alone in bed the next morning. The immense guilt he feels at the opening of the chapter is natural enough, and he tries to forget how he feels by “shelving” his emotions through the act of putting the necklace Lhew gave him in the bottom drawer. I find this action a fairly logical step toward psychological self-preservation and an attempt to “right” his emotions. He also shows empathy and insight into what the break up means for Lhew, noting specifically the personal challenges she faces on top of the strife piled on by the break up. In a way his reaction toward the break up with Lhew is not unlike Noh’s in relation to Yuri (immense guilt), but that’s where the similarity ends. Pete ultimately handles his situation with determination and insight, as opposed to Noh’s reaction of blaming himself and wallowing helplessly in guilt and self-loathing thereafter. At least Pete, as guilty as he feels and as badly as he dumps on himself, reflects on his situation and in short time takes positive steps to improve his stake. To my way of thinking this shows his coping mechanisms are functioning despite his bleak mood.

When the chapter moves to Pete’s arrival at school and the solace he gets from interacting with his friends, Pete’s mood turns a generally positive corner. Por is the first positive influence he encounters, mainly through mere human contact, but also by supplying Pete with a mental diversion. There is an interesting passage referencing Card and his mysterious actions during their gaming session which suggests something to come, as well as another potential development involving Por and Hack, yet we are left waiting for a clarification at a later time since Por refuses to discuss it despite Pete’s questions. Next Pete trades a barb or two with Card over Earn which begs the question as to why Card overreacted when Pete asked where Earn was, but again, we don’t get any answers here either. When Pete reaches into his school bag to gather his assignments he stumbles across a note left by Lhew which she secretly inserted before she left. In it, she shares her genuine conflicting feelings over the break up, but assures Pete that she’s not mad at him. She’s also decided to go away over the holidays, but plans on reconnecting with Pete when she returns. In the meantime, she gives her blessing to Pete and encourages him to pursue Earn. This lights a fire under Pete, such that when Card raises an issue he wants to discuss with him, Pete puts it off for later while he exits the classroom in search of Earn.

I have always been a big Lhew supporter and this note is great example why. She’s honest and real about her feelings, but she’s also honest with herself about her situation. She knows the terms she entered the relationship under, and that she got more involved than she expected in light of them. She’s also mature enough to realize that she needs to find a path forward and a place to distance herself from the situation in order to do that. She also shows that her feelings for Pete are really for Pete, because she puts her concern for him foremost by encouraging him to pursue Earn. What more can I say? She’s so great her character is almost unbelieveable.

Once outside, Pete texts Earn to find out where he is while buying some snacks. Loaded with bait, he tears off to the basketball court when Earn finally texts him back telling him where he is, however when he arrives he finds Earn sitting with Noh. He can’t hear what they’re saying but he can tell from the look on Earn’s face that he’s feeling hurt, and Pete laments that all the effort he’s poured into reviving Earn’s positive attitude is being flushed down the toilet before his very eyes. Seeing Earn’s condition after Noh departs leaves Pete little room in his mind for confessing to Earn how he feels about him in spite of his urgent desire to do so, but he’s determined to cheer Earn up instead by just being his best friend (with food). After getting Earn to finally eat the snacks he brought, Pete’s efforts to bring Earn back from despair start to show results. They chat and tease each other, both in their own world of pain, but both there for each other, each in his own way. When Earn balks at going to class and jokingly suggests they cut school, this where the chapter really takes off. Pete takes up the call and pushes them both forward into actually doing just that, and within minutes he’s run up to class to submit their assignments and he and Earn are over the school wall like a couple of prisoners on a jailbreak.

This part of the chapter really made me happy. I am so jazzed that Pete stepped outside of himself to do this, not just for Earn, but for him and Earn. I also took this as a sign of Pete’s growth away from the obedient son/student he’s been up until now, and toward becoming a person who is willing to discard what holds him back from pursuing what makes him happy and complete. This is what I referred to earlier as a clear sign of his resolve to improve his stake and a sign that his coping mechanisms are working. Cutting school may not seem like a bright idea, but sometimes you have to do what’s right for the situation you’re in at the time even if it runs counter to what’s expected of you. Clearly Pete is choosing to make an investment in Earn, and his friendship with Earn (and possible relationship), and I’m proud of him for making that decision.

The trip to Pete’s house is a lighthearted race and they change into shorts and shirts once they settle in, Pete noticing that Earn seems to be checking him out while they change. After reminding Pete about his Christmas present, Earn gets to open his gift only to find that Pete has independently given him flip-flops and they joke about the irony and of knowing each other so well that they exchanged nearly identical gifts. After putting on some “supportive” music they decide to take a nap on Pete’s bed. While Earn talks about his family, Pete rejoices in how happy Earn appears and thinks about how close Earn’s family is and how nice it would be to have others around all of the time. As they discuss their respective plans for the Christmas holiday, Pete interrupts to ask Earn how things are going with Noh. A bit shocked, Earn tries to punt the question away, but Pete won’t be dissuaded and Earn finally comes clean about how hurt he feels after confessing his feelings to Noh and being rejected, and he lets on that he’s starting to like another guy while bashing himself for falling into the same trap all over again. When Pete presses Earn for more information about his new crush, Earn demurrers telling Pete it would never work out because his new crush has a girlfriend. When Pete asks if Earn’s crush is gay too, Earn balks at the label, but concedes that he’s never had such feelings for a girl before grudgingly acknowledging he might be gay. This opens up an entire discussion for them about the subject of what being gay means as Earn contrasts himself with some of the Angels gang and their more feminine interests and mannerisms. Remembering his conversation with Lhew, Pete reassures Earn that being gay does not mean he has to act like the Angels. When Earn calls himself a monster and asks Pete if he’s disgusted by him, Pete instantly recognizes the self-hatred and assures Earn he could never find him disgusting or abnormal. But then he goes beyond that telling Earn that he will always be his best friend like they’ve been since they were kids, and that he’s the person Pete most trusts in the world. Seeing Earn at the point of tears, Pete drops the topic and puts on some music before slumping down on the bed to sleep.

At first Earn hugs Pete from behind as “Lay Me Down” by Sam Smith plays, and thoughts of what this embrace might mean along with the significance of Earn’s continuing feelings for Noh ricochet through Pete’s head. Thirty minutes in, Pete’s still awake and spots the nightstand drawer where he earlier stashed the necklace from Lhew and guilt gushes up inside him. Pete asks Earn to turn over so he can hug Earn instead, a favor that Earn, though surprised, agrees to. As Pete hugs his friend from behind, he likens the warmth he feels in the embrace to a band-aid on a gaping wound. In a further attempt to drive off his pain, Pete takes Earn’s hand, and Earn starts to question what Pete’s doing, and mentions Lhew’s name, but Pete sadly cuts in that they broke up as the “The Scientist” shuffles on from Pete’s playlist. The effect of this contact sends static throughout Pete’s body and warmth from Earn floods into Pete and he expresses the belief that this is the only thing that can push away his sadness. Pete apologizes to Earn if the situation makes him feel uncomfortable, but Earn says it’s no problem as Pete drifts blissfully off to sleep.

Kudos for the entire conversation about s*xuality and the variations on what it means to be gay. This is a conversation that never takes place in LS but should, only because it happens in real life for so many of us. We talk about these issues with friends, lovers, and family. It really happens, so it’s great that it happened here. It was also a completely natural and organic conversation and handled with exceptional care and sensitivity that worked fluidly into the plot. It is especially potent because Earn is making a sort of confession about his s*xuality (with Pete as his midwife) while knowing nothing about Pete and his s*xuality. The life lesson Pete learned from Lhew that he shares with Earn to support him is so sweet and truly beautiful. This is the personal growth and maturity I acknowledged in Pete at the beginning of comment. Of course Pete is still not ready to tell Earn how he feels and he utterly fails to see that Earn is talking about him being the crush with the girlfriend, but he’s focused on his guilt over Lhew and Earn’s welfare and his residual feelings for Noh. In that kind of emotional storm, it’s understandable that he might not have the focus to put it all together at this time, but I have no doubt that he eventually will.

This was a tour de force chapter in my book. The alternating hugging at the end works on multiple levels. Best friends lending support to each other through troubled times (each boy relying on the other for comfort); one boy after being hurt by another and the other boy after hurting someone else. Each boy also has an interest in the other beyond friendship, and no doubt draws significance from hugging the other on this basis as well, yet neither at this juncture understands that the other is capable of reciprocating on that very level even while they are holding each other! I love the irony. Thank you so much. This was so satisfying to read. Great!