*THUD*

The sound of the pile of books startled Luhan.

“That’s a lot!” Luhan says as he counts the six, no, seven books Minseok picked out from the library shelves. “All of those are about the Circulatory system?”

“Yes.” Minseok answers.

“All of it?!?”

“Most of the books only have a chapter or bits of info about it. I decided to take it just in case.”

“Whoa… Okay... Then let’s start taking notes?”

The two are currently in the library trying to research about their assigned topic for reporting, the Circulatory System. Luhan and Minseok decided to finish their report earlier so they wouldn’t have to cram for it. Minseok suggested that they do research in the library after class, take notes, and do the content of the report online at their own homes. Luhan didn’t mind. As long as he could be with Minseok after class hours, that would be great, Luhan thought.

And so the two are now quietly taking notes while sitting in front of each other. Luhan thoroughly reads through the textbook as he traces each word with his finger. His finger is noticeably slow.

“Uhh… Minseok. What does this word mean?” Luhan asks as he points at the word to Minseok.

“Aah. It means something like pumping… pumping blood.”

“Aah!” Luhan exclaims as he flashes a thankful smile at Minseok.

Luhan may have been living in Korea for a few years now, but he still couldn’t grasp the language despite studying really hard. He can converse just fine, but when it comes to formal speech or deep words, Luhan can’t say or understand much. Reading and writing is still also difficult for him. He can recognize and write the characters of a letter or word, but making sense of what he read and spelling words correctly is still difficult for him. Of course, Korean idioms are no exception. You could say that Luhan is still struggling even after socializing and having friends. The language and cultural barrier may not be as apparent, but it’s still definitely there.

And as Luhan continued to take notes, he wondered if his lack of knowledge in the Korean language and culture would someday become a barrier for his friendship with Minseok. In fact, is it actually the reason why Minseok couldn’t warm up to him? Is the problem actually not with Minseok, but is actually with Luhan?

Luhan stops writing and blankly stares at his notebook with a saddened expression. No, you’re just overthinking. Luhan thought. He probably didn’t like me the moment he saw me. Besides, he didn’t know from the start that I’m Chinese… But now that he knows, I wonder if it’s a factor for him not liking me?

Luhan sighs deeply. Minseok notices and asks if he’s okay. Luhan just answers with a nod.

Should he ask? Luhan thought.

He looks at Minseok who is seriously taking notes. He stares at him as he makes a decision whether to ask or not. It’s a bit weird to ask it out of nowhere but…

“Minseok. Can I ask you something?”

Minseok looks up from his notebook and looks at Luhan with curiosity.

“Do you...” Luhan stops. He realizes he doesn’t know what to say. How should he ask about it? Do you find it hard to talk to me? No, that’s too vague. Does it bother you that I’m Chinese? No, that’s too straightforward. Do you… do you… do you…

“Do I what?” Minseok says since Luhan stopped speaking.

“Ah! Uhh… Do you know this word?!?” Luhan quickly grabs a book and randomly points at a word.

Minseok looks at the word and shows a confused face. He looks at Luhan with a half confused and half annoyed face. He puts his left hand up and points at it with his right hand. “Luhan that means this.” Minseok says.

Luhan looks at the word he pointed and the word read “hand.”

Embarrassed for seemingly not to know such a basic word that even toddlers know, Luhan quickly flashes a smile at Minseok and says “Aah! So that’s what it was! Hehe...he...he...”

Idiot!!! Luhan tells himself as he tries to calm down from the embarrassment.

He breathes deeply and gathers his thoughts. So now, how should he ask Minseok about it? This is seriously no big deal, but Luhan can’t seem to properly think of a question even if he racks his brain out. Just then, he realizes something. He’s nervous.

Why does his heart feel heavy and why does it beat so fast right now? Luhan thought. It’s pumping more blood than it should. Is this why he couldn’t think of a way to ask Minseok? Is it not because he can’t think but rather is afraid to think of one? Is he actually afraid to ask Minseok? That’s when it hits Luhan. He doesn’t want to hear Minseok’s answer.

What if he does hate me? What if he feels the language and cultural barrier and he’s not comfortable with it? Am I being too pushy? Somehow all these thoughts came crashing down on his mind, shaking his consciousness and filling it with doubts and worries.

And as he continues to contemplate and stare blankly at his notes, Minseok notices him.

Minseok waves his hand in front of Luhan. He doesn’t react.

Minseok calls him. Again. And again. And so Minseok tears a page from his notebook, crumples it, and throws it at Luhan who reacts surprised and confused as he looks at Minseok.

“What? Why?”

“You piss me off. It’s already really quiet, it’s impossible you can’t hear me.” Minseok angrily looks at Luhan.

Aah I’ve done it! He’s really mad. Luhan thought.

Luhan tries to look at Minseok but he couldn’t look at those furious eyes. So he looks down and bows his head as he says, “I’m sorry. I zoned out.”

Luhan quickly gets back to taking notes, before Minseok gets even more mad. He arranges his stuff without taking another glance at Minseok.

“Why?”

“Huh?” Luhan looks up, confused. He sees Minseok looking at him sternly. And honestly, Luhan’s scared.

“I asked you why. Why did you zone out? What could you possibly be thinking of right now aside from our report?” Minseok says.

Luhan is frozen. Should he tell the truth? Or should he make an excuse? But why would he have to make an excuse? Should he really tell him? And once again Luhan’s mind is conflicted. Not only that, but his heart also feels heavy and uneasy. And Minseok’s serious look doesn’t make it any better too. Right now, a familiar feeling has clouded Luhan’s mind and heart. A feeling that he thought was long gone. That feeling of being rejected.

Suddenly, Minseok sighs loudly, causing other students nearby to look at him.

“Come on. Don’t be like that. Are you having trouble with reading or understanding the words? What? You were fine a minute ago. Seriously, what are you thinking of Luhan?”

Is Minseok concerned? Right now, does he actually want to know what I’m thinking? Luhan thought. True enough, Luhan thinks this might be the first time Minseok ‘cared’. Treating his wound during PE was more obligatory, than voluntary. Right now, Luhan thinks that Minseok does seem to care about him.

Luhan slowly and steadily looks at Minseok with a worried face.

“Minseok… What do you think of me?” Luhan asks.

“Huh?... Why are you asking me this?” Minseok replies, a bit surprised and confused.

“Well, actually it just came to me. Now that you know I’m Chinese, you might have a different opinion of me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I thought. What if the reason you’re not easily warming up to me is because of me… specifically my nationality.”

“Okay, wait. You’re really annoying, you know.” Minseok clasps his hands and brings it in front of his face. He looks like he’s thinking.

“Luhan. For the sake of finishing our report, let me out right say this.” Minseok’s eyes are serious. “I don’t like you… but not because you’re Chinese. I have my own personal reason for not being friends with you, and that has nothing to do with who or what you are. Did you get that?”

Luhan looks stunned. His wide eyes are staring at Minseok. His mouth agape.

“Don’t worry about unnecessary stuff… you said that yourself remember? So just forget about that.” Minseok says as he waits for Luhan’s response.

And after a few seconds of silence and of being frozen like an ice statue, Luhan chuckles. Of course, this confused Minseok. And after trying really hard to stop himself from further laughing, Luhan calms down, looks at Minseok, and beams that cheeky smile of his.

“What are you smiling for?” A half annoyed, half confused Minseok asked.

“Honestly I’m not sure if I should be happy when you just said you don’t like me. But I understand. I’m alright now, Minseok. Thank you for cheering me up!”

Unexpectedly, Minseok shyly nods at Luhan.

Minseok is an interesting guy, Luhan thought. He may always be cold and harsh towards him, but he is, really, a nice person. Despite the complicated reason Minseok gave, bottom line is: Minseok accepts Luhan. For who and what he is. And that is all that matters for Luhan. Well, that’s what Luhan thinks. They may still not be on the same page right now, but given Minseok’s reason, he thinks that it’s not impossible that they’ll be friends. In fact, they will be. It’s just a matter of time. So right now, Luhan just needs to patiently wait for Minseok. He just needs to keep on smiling. To keep on being himself. To keep on believing.

Suddenly, Minseok clears his throat, “Uh… Since we’re already talking, I thought of something for the presentation.”

“Sure what is it?”

“Do you want to draw a heart so we could illustrate the parts of the heart?” Minseok asks.

“Alright.”

Luhan quickly grabs a pen and sketches on his notebook. After a few seconds. Luhan shows Minseok a drawing.

“Here.”

♡

Again, thank you very much for reading this fic. Take care always my dear readers! Until my next update! :) ♡