I recalled sitting on the back of a black motorcycle with a stranger and clutching onto his jacket as tightly as I could. I remember thinking that if I were to ever let go, the road would swallow me whole.

It was summer. The trees were green. We drove through a long, quiet road. And all around us, stood an ocean. An ocean so blue and so clear that it resembled more of the sky instead of the sea. Fishing boats stacked on one side of the road, bicycles lined-up toppled near the shore, a few couples held hands and stared at the clear water.

A place familiar but so unacquainted at the same time. 

And then it suddenly started to pour. The thunder shook up the place, and the rain felt stiff against my skin. I felt my hands slowly, but surely slipping away from the stranger’s jacket. I asked him to slow down, but the stranger only laughed, and we still continued at the same pace.

“Even the clearest summer could end in lightning and thunder,” he said. “Don’t you ever forget that, brother.”

And that was when I slipped away from him.

. . .

I suddenly sat up straight, my breath heavy, my heart beating fast. The windows were already open, but my clothes were drenched in sweat. My phone was vibrating under the sheets.

I picked up.

“Hello, June?” she said. “Hello. Are you there?”

“I’m here.”

A pause, and then Dahyun asked, “What’s up with you?”

“What?” I checked the time: 2:44am.

“Why is your breath so heavy?”

“I’m not in the mood right now.”

“Hey, don’t be a freakin’ .”

There was this long, eerie silence, and I finally answered, “I had a dream about my brother.”

Dahyun just stayed quiet on the other line.

I told her about my dream. The ocean, and how it reflected the sky so deeply. The thunder that came after the sunshine. I told her about the motorcycle, and about what he said to me before I fell.

“Look at your old pictures. Did your hometown look like your dream?”

“My town was a fishing village,” I explained. “So yeah, I’m guessing that’s it.”

“Back then, when your brother was still alive, maybe he drove you around a lot in his motorcycle. Or, maybe one time, when you were playing with him, you fell off or something. I don’t think that was simply just a dream. I think it was somewhat a reality, too. Perhaps your memories are trying to come back to you, June.”

. . .

After that summer, Jiwon ended up moving to Daegu, and Hanbin moved to a small apartment in the opposite side of Seoul.

Just a few months after Hanbin moved away, he was finally reunited with Lee Hayi.

Nobody knew what had happened between them, why she left him, or how they got back together after all those years of not being in touch. Jiwon explained that they were best friends ever since they were little, and they both, ultimately, became a big part of each other’s lives. Hence why Hanbin didn’t even put up a fight when he saw her again. He didn’t even ask her why she left him. He didn’t even play hard to get. He simply just accepted Hayi back with open arms and asked her to be his girlfriend again. And that was that.

And on the other side of this was Dahyun. I couldn’t even imagine what she felt like, seeing the guy that she loved accept someone so easily back into his life, despite her chasing after him for years. I tried to bring it up one time, but she didn’t even show a tinge of sadness. It was out of character of her to act so modest in that kind of situation. Had that been any other situation, she would’ve thrown a fit, complained about it for weeks, screamed and shouted and cried, or (very rarely) use a bit of violence.

But instead of doing those things, Dahyun just stayed calm.

And that bothered me, because no matter how much I observed her, I couldn’t even get a glimpse of what she felt about it.

I couldn’t read what she was thinking.

That bothered me a lot.

. . .

It was winter, two weeks before Christmas, when Jiwon finally came home. We celebrated inside Hanbin’s apartment with a few bottles of beer and some takeaway.

Prior to this, without telling us, Hanbin had called Hayi over.

The first thing you notice when you meet a girl like Lee Hayi was her voice. On the outside, she almost resembled a doll or some sort. Full, round lips, hair dyed blonde, and eyelashes so long that it looked as if someone had just made it. But when she finally spoke, I, for one, was taken aback. There was a rough edge to her voice, but it was lovely, with real presence. And contrary to Hanbin’s fierce and attentive eyes, hers were always unfocused and drowsy, like she was always looking straight past you whenever you spoke to her.

“I’m Kim Dahyun!” Dahyun greeted first, and reached her hand out to shake hers. “We went to the same middle school.”

“I remember you,” Hayi said, smiling.

Afterwards, we all just introduced ourselves and made small talk with her.

An hour or two came by, and more conversations were made. I observed Dahyun every now and then. I found it strange at the time how her cheeriness never vanished, despite the fact that the person she loved was right there, madly in love with the girl she was talking to.

My phone suddenly chimed. A text from Mina.

Are you busy right now?

I texted back, and asked her where she was.

I’m at the station, waiting for the last train.
I want to see you.

. . .

I left Hanbin’s apartment as soon as I could and told them that I was going to see Mina. We called goodbyes, and I promised I would see them all again the next day.

From the apartment, it took me about twenty minutes to get to the station, and about ten more to actually find Mina. Once I finally found her, I saw her standing under one of the waiting shelters, hands shoved deep in her coat pockets and staring vacantly at the floor. I called her name once. She quietly lifted her face and turned up the corners of in a smile.

“That was fast,” she teased, and linked arms with me the moment I stood next to her. “You were in a rush to see me, right?”

I scoffed. “But weren’t you the one who called me over?”

She let out a soft chuckle. “You smell like beer.”

“Jiwon came back today,” I told her. “He bought drinks, so we ended up drinking at Hanbin’s apartment. We met Hanbin’s girlfriend today, too.”

“Ah, is that so? Was she nice?”

I nodded.

“Pretty?”

I nodded again.

“It wasn’t awkward?”

“Not at all.”

Moment by moment the sky turned deeper, a large circular moon appeared, and a handful of stars pierced holes in the sky. The air got colder the longer we waited, and the bitterness of it had nipped at my nose, causing it to turn red in an instant. We were shivering, and puffs of smoke came out of our mouths whenever we spoke.

“I talked to mother on the phone last night,” Mina suddenly said. “She said she’s already looking into universities to apply for when I go home.”

We stayed silent for a short while, which gave me enough time to gather my thoughts. “Which one are you thinking of?” I finally asked her.

“There’s one in Kyoto that I’m interested in,” she answered. “But mother wants me to take the entrance exam for the one in Nagoya. It’s closer to our home, she said. Father, on the other hand, chooses Tokyo.”

“Go for Kyoto,” I told her. “It’s the one you want to go for, right? You should pick that one.”

Mina fell silent for a few seconds. Looking at the ground once more, she said, “I can always stay here if I wanted to. I don’t have to go back home. Mother and father will understand. I’ll apply for the same university with you and—”

“Don’t,” I cut in. “Don’t do that to yourself. You hate it here.”

“I don’t hate it,” she muttered. “At least not now.” And then she looked at me. Her eyes were quite dark. Many colours mixed together, but they were always clear and unclouded. “I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

I shook my head no, and just held her hand tight. We stayed silent for what seemed like hours, then she kissed me goodbye when her train finally arrived.

. . .

I was exhausted when I got home. So I downed a cold drink, snuggled into bed too tired to think, turned off the light, and settled into a peaceful sleep. And then the phone rang: a call from Dahyun. I looked at my bedside clock. 2:10am.

I’d only slept for about two hours.

I picked up, but I didn’t grumble. I was too tired to complain. Some days were simply like that.

“What do you want?” I asked.

But there was nothing but a deep, heavy huff from the other line. It sounded like someone was crying with the force of a person throwing up.

Drunk, Dahyun finally spoke.

“June, I don’t know where I am.”

. . .

gap // (i swear ive chosen this song before) 

i'll start replying to all questions from now on! i chose not to reply to questions before because i was always unsure on how to answer them, and i felt that it'd be unfair if i answered some and just ignored the rest. i didn't really have a solid plan for the characters and story, and just carried on going with the flow. but now i finally do, so i'll try my best to answer all the questions.^^ once again, thank you. the amount of support that this story is getting is overwhelming;;