[TRIGGER WARNING: HALLUCINATIONS]

Ryouta waited for Eun Mi and Tae Jun to finish giving their statements. He tapped his foot on the waxed floor, inspecting the intricate laces on his sneakers. The tip of the sole showed obvious signs of abuse, no doubt from the countless times he’d missed a step or two during practice. His scalp felt itchy from the lack of a wash. He blew his bangs out of his eyes, annoyed at how they caught in his eyelashes.

They had not been there for long, perhaps an hour or two. The sun still shone brightly, pouring in through the windows. Ryouta always found it strange how many windows police stations had. He supposed they were there for quick escapes from fires or to aid snipers if the need arose.

There was no love lost between Ryouta and police stations. He could feel his lungs darken with every breath he took within one. Too many angry cops, too many lazy ones, too many women beat black and blue and still claiming that they fell down the stairs or tripped on their way out. Too many tied hands, too many criminals, too many lies and broken promises.

He checked his watch. Five minutes had ticked by.

Exhaling, Ryouta pushed himself up, raking his hands through his silver hair. His fingertips came away glossy. He would have to wash his hair tonight. He wondered if the water would also wash away the phantom touch of that psychotic girl.

His phone buzzed with notifications; mentions from Twitter and Instagram. A constant in his life, today Ryouta found it annoying beyond belief. With an irritated sigh, he accessed both accounts, reading a few comments before silencing the notifications on both. When he would ever turn them back on, there was no way of telling.

AMORES still believed in him in a way no one else had or ever would believe in him again. He’d betrayed them, though he could not quite bring himself to believe that he had. Because the word betray was not what his actions meant. They still thought that he loved them. And he did. But it had become much more complicated than that.

It wasn’t that Ryouta did not appreciate the cheers or crave the worshipping love that they offered, he simply loved someone much more. Loved DAEE much more.

She dwelled outside him. She dwelled within him. An existence beyond himself that was like he, like the person he wanted to become. She did not look like him; she looked like his soul, or rather, what his soul yearned for.

“Are we being selfish?” she had asked.

“No,” he’d replied. Yes, he’d thought.

Despite her tough exterior, DAEE was fragile. Her heart resided permanently on her sleeve. Hearing the truth would take her away from him. Ryouta could not understand why the truth had to be something so complicated or why it would hurt more than the lies they told.

Why did they have to hide? Why did they have to reveal anything to their members? Why couldn’t it simply be? Owing an explanation to their members, AMORES, and A.Borealis—why did they have to owe them anything?

The disgust made its slow trajectory crawl through his body, settling at the pit of his stomach. At times like these, Ryouta vividly felt the mask that peeled from his face.

It was something rather nasty; a mask so firmly attached it pulled his flesh along with it as it fell. Ryouta had developed the habit of touching his face with nervous fingertips throughout the course of the year. Once or twice, he’d seen thick, black ooze that mimicked the consistency of blood on those very same nervous fingers. It had scared him half to death, but after a few blinks and one of Eun Mi’s teas, he’d calmed down.

They weren’t serious enough, these hallucinations of his. Not yet. He would get help. Later. Once things quieted down, once the stalker and Eun Mi’s anti-fan had been put behind bars, once L6 safely delivered their first concert. Once all of those things happened, Ryouta would seek help. Until then, all he had to do was blink the black blood away and hold up half of his face so that it wouldn’t make a bloody black mess on the floor.

He pressed his fingers to his cheeks, sliding them up, holding the mask in place. He could hear the sticky sound of reattaching flesh, smell the oozing fluids that poured from his pores. The mask was still there.

And AMORES kept making him bleed.

Tae Jun ran his hands through his hair, rings catching. He sighed, exasperated with the unending, roundabout interrogation.

“For the millionth time, I do not know this girl personally. None of our members do.”

“Don’t you idol kids know all of your fans? C’mon, where could she have gotten the idea that Aoi Ryouta wanted her to be his girlfriend if not from the kid himself?”

The officer, one with a particularly loud distaste for idols, continued to pressure him. Tae Jun knew manipulation when he saw it; this cop in particular wanted him to say something that would incriminate him, Ryouta, or any other L6 member.

Tae Jun glared at the man before him, cursing him to the pits of the Abyss where all demons and fiends dwelled. He would feel right at home, this one would.

The questions he’d asked Eun Mi had been short, quick. From the way in which he’d slowed down as he spoke it had been clear that he thought Eun Mi deficient in the Korean language. She’d cocked one eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Tell him I need the bathroom,” she’d told Tae Jun, refusing to speak a word of Korean to the idiot before them.

The cop had let her go, calling her all sorts of names as she went. Tae Jun hoped a pot would fall on the man’s head. Even hot coffee would do. It took all of his willpower and then some not to upturn the table on the impudent man.

When Eun Mi returned a few minutes later, she crossed her arms over her chest and threw her leg over one knee, looking presumptuous. Tae Jun smirked at the stunned expression on the man’s face before nudging Eun Mi. She raised an eyebrow before placing both feet firmly on the floor.

“Damn foreigners,” the man grumbled. “No manners.”

Eun Mi scoffed ever so slightly. Tae Jun shot her a murderous glare. She replied by closing her eyes, inhaling deeply, and imagining herself as far away from the room as possible. She’d been the one to suggest that Ryouta wait just outside; her intuition had kept him from behind hounded by the obnoxious man before them.

As much as Tae Jun wished to be beside his youngest member, he’d seen the wisdom in Eun Mi’s suggestion to make their statements first. In such a shaken state of mind, Ryouta would have implicated himself with the officer’s roundabout, manipulative way of questioning.

Nothing was getting done. A process that should have taken a couple of hours headed for a long run. Tae Jun did not know how much longer they could last without their managers. But even then, what could a couple of managers do against police officers?

“Ms. Song Eun Mi, really, I would prefer for us to stop meeting like this.”

Eun Mi’s eyes opened slowly. She turned her head to her right, smiling at the man standing beside her. She stood, bowing. “I wish the same thing, Detective Kang.”

Praise the heavens! A sensible man had arrived. Tae Jun followed Eun Mi’s lead, greeting the detective that had been placed in charge of Eun Mi’s anti-fan case.

He was a tall man of broad shoulders and big, heavy hands. Even in his mid-forties, he retained a youthful spring in his step, a playfully wicked intellect in his eyes. He had the habit of his goatee when deep in thought or when amused, which more often than not meant he was seen rubbing his chin all day.

The man was one of the best detectives in the force, unbiased and unprejudiced against any kind of people. Detective Kang had taken up her case even before she’d been targeted in Korea. The force of the incident in Hanoi had sparked his interest well enough to begin a quiet investigation of his own.

Now, Eun Mi trusted no one else. If anyone could help them, it was Detective Kang.

“So,” he said, hands sliding into his pockets, an icy smile aimed at his subordinate. “What’s going on here?”

And just like that the useless cop was dismissed, Ryouta brought in, and their statements recorded. Eun Mi had kept her fingers by her lips, a tattletale sign that she was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Ryouta had reached into his back pocket for a piece of gum. He’d handed it to Eun Mi who had then proceeded to chew on the thing with excessive force.

Manager Jo and Manager Lee had arrived eventually to brief them on the situation outside the station.

“It’s crawling with reporters,” Manager Lee grumbled. “How they got wind of this so quickly, I will never know.”

“SNS,” Ryouta deadpanned. “There where fans outside the building who saw the police cars come in.”

Eun Mi popped her gum. “That could be it. Either way, brace yourselves.”

Tae Jun sighed. “Whatever happened to ‘One does not simply walk into Mordor?’”

“Didn’t you watch the movie? They did, in fact, simply walk into Mordor,” Eun Mi said.

“You didn’t read the book, noona?”

Eun Mi’s gum popped loudly. “No. Too busy training to be a circus monkey.”

Ryouta’s grin was vicious, wild. They took the offered masks from their managers, Eun Mi trading off her black one for Ryouta’s white with an offhanded “You look like an anime character with black masks and that sliver hair.”

Ryouta’s grin had widened so much it made his eyes disappear. He shook his hair out, allowing his slivery bangs to hang over his face. Tae Jun placed the mask just over his upper lip, underneath his nose. Eun Mi threw her gum out as she hooked it around her ears, fluffing her hair out to frame her hidden face.

“You guys look like criminals,” Detective Kang joked. “Managers, let me know if you need backup.”

Manager Lee shot him a desperate look. Manager Jo laughed it off, though in truth, he wouldn’t have minded the help of a battalion…or two.

Outside the station existed utter chaos. A chaos that multiplied tenfold when L6 and CELESTIAL exited the building. A handful of officers attempted to maintain order, but the reporters were persistent, hungry hyenas seeking a tasty morsel. What was more, they seemed to be after Eun Mi the most.

“Ms. Song Eun Mi, do you think this attack was because of you?”

“Is your relationship with members of L6 causing discord with fans?”

“Why do you think fans hate you so much? Ms. Song Eun Mi? Ms. Song Eun Mi!”

“Do these events affect the way you see Korean citizens?”

“Ms. Song Eun Mi, a word or two please!”

Tae Jun did his best to keep his glare in check, squinting instead at the flashing cameras. He helped Manager Jo get Eun Mi into the van, ignoring the questions that probed at the nature of their relationship.

“Are you two leaders finally dating?”

“Is this a cover up for a love affair gone wrong?”

Ryouta, for the most part, was left alone. He watched as the reporters hounded his hyung and noona, wondering why it was that they paid no attention to him at all. He lagged behind, watching the scene unfold. Manager Lee kept prompting him to move to no avail.

He raised his cellphone, snapping an image of the mob.

Ryouta felt dangerous. Felt as if the entire world was his enemy, as if he had not a single friend to rely on.

Finally, when Eun Mi and Tae Jun where safe inside the vehicle, the reporters turned to Ryouta.

“Ryouta! Did you instigate this event?”

“Are you in a personal relationship with the culprit?”

“How do you feel about Tae Jun’s injury? Do you think it was your fault?”

“Ryouta! A word! A word!”

But Ryouta didn’t say a word. He said nothing, placing his jacket’s hood over his head. Someone else might have hunched his shoulders, someone else might have kept his eyes on the ground. Not Ryouta, no.

He faced the crowd, the microphones, the cameras dead on with eyes of steel. His steps were steady and sure, a bolt of fire striking a path before him. His exit from the station would soon go viral; the silver haired boy facing a throng of reporters with marble dignity. In silence.

⸢Hello, this is B.Star Entertainment.

First, we would like to update you on the condition of our artists. Earlier this afternoon an incident involving l6’s leader Choi Tae Jun and maknake Aoi Ryouta, as well as Celestial’s leader Song Eun Mi and Main Dancer DAEE occurred in the basement parking lot of the company’s building.

While Song Eun Mi and Aoi Ryouta were unharmed, Choi Tae Jun and DAEE required medical attention for a minor laceration and shock, respectively. DAEE was taken to the hospital and has since been released. She is now resting at Celestial’s dorm. Choi Tae Jun’s injury was treated on the scene.

As a company, we apologize for the lack of security that failed to prevent this from happening. From now on we will take greater security measures to assure the safety and well-being of our artists and employees.

That being said, we would like to inform you that from this point on, B.Star Entertainment will be taking legal action against all of those that attempt to harm or approach our artist in a nonconventional way.

AMORES and A.Borealis are treasured by L6 and CELESTIAL. L6 and CELESTIAL are treasured by B.Star Entertainment. Thus, we are a company that promotes healthy relationships between artists and fans.

We will be reviewing safety rules and regulations and updating every fan café as well as the company’s homepage. We ask that you please follow these new regulations for your own safety as well as for that of our artists.

Lastly, in regards to CELESTIAL’s comeback, we will meet with the members at a later time to decide how to proceed. A.Borealis, we apologize for continuously making you wait.

As for L6, there are no changes to their immediate schedules. They will continue to rest or participate in their individual activities without disruption.

Again, we apologize for the lack of safety and for making many of you worry. We thank you in advance for your future cooperation.

Be safe and make healthy Decisions.

B.Star Entertainment⸥

The company was in utter chaos the following morning. DAEE moved out of the way of a thousand and one employees and PR staff members as they hurried about shouting something about damage control and someone’s SNS accounts.

She dodged a rushing staff, gluing herself to the wall, watching her nearly fly by her. She spotted Chae minutes later, catching up with her in the locker room.

“What’s going on?”

“DAEE,” she placed a soft hand on her arm. “How are you feeling? Did you rest well?”

“Mm. It was just a slight shock, that’s all. Unnie, what’s going on? Why is everyone running around like we’re under attack?”

Chae bit her lip. She pulled her practice hoodie over her head, carefully hanging up her favorite cardigan. DAEE waited as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. She closed the locker door ever so gently.

“Have you been on Twitter at all today?”

DAEE shook her head. “I came straight here. I don’t even want to know what kind of—”

The expression on Chae’s face worsened. Fearing the worst, DAEE dove into the world of social networking, scrolling through her feed for whatever horror had transpired. She feared the worst for Eun Mi. Had something happened again?

But Eun Mi wasn’t the center of the chaos this time.

DAEE’s blood ran cold as a single Tweet glared up at her, nasty and bitterly cold.

“DAEE! Where are you going?”

“I-I’ll see you in the practice room! I have to—there’s something—oh! I’ll be back later!”

DAEE bolted out of the locker room, rushing up to the elevator. She waited impatiently then pounded on the rooftop’s button. She felt jittery, nervous. The wind blew her bangs out of her forehead, the door slammed heavily behind her.

“Ryouta! Ryouta, are you here?”

She wondered around the area, head turning wildly in every direction. She spotted him standing on the ledge, hands in pockets. Fear choked her, chilly and brutal.

“R-Ryouta?”

He looked at her over his shoulder, a happy smile appearing at the sight of her. He jumped down to safety. DAEE’s knees instantly gave out. He rushed to her, eyes wide with concern.

“Noona!”

DAEE took him by the arms, gazing up at him with tear-filled eyes. “Don’t do that! Don’t stand on the ledge like that!”

“I’m sorry, noona.”

She hit his chest with a weak fist, tears spilling. Ryouta drew her into his embrace, her hair with long fingers. DAEE sobbed into his chest in a way she only ever allowed herself to sob before him.

“Why did you do it? Why are you—?”

“I am not going to stand by idly while they act this way. It’s poison, noona, the way they treat us. We’re public figures, yes, but we’re humans, too. What would you have done if that fan had organized herself better and she’d actually managed to kidnap me?”

“Ryou!”

Ryouta squeezed her harder. “We’re not toys. We’re not objects. If I have to call out the fans I love so much into respecting me then they only have themselves to blame! I will not apologize. I will not delete the Tweet. Let it say there.”

“It could—”

“I know. I know.”

He pursed his lips. He knew very well what repercussions would come along with that post. Endless hate comments, death threats, unpopularity. Ryouta should have cared. His younger self would have cared. This self? This “new” Ryouta cared not at all.

“Noona, just stand beside me. Stand beside me and support me. That’s all I need. I only need you, noona.”

DAEE swallowed, shaking her head.

How could she deny him anything? How could she pull herself away from his embrace and reveal anything?

Her silence swallowed her. The worst part was…DAEE didn’t even know why she had insisted in keeping their relationship a secret anymore.

She had not noticed this before, but they’d had a very small window of opportunity open to them. They had had the opportunity to speak up without creating much of a ruckus. That opportunity was long gone now.

DAEE headed to practice, washing her face in the lady’s washroom before joining her members after Ryouta had been called into the CEO’s office. DAEE turned her cellphone off, suffocating the temptation to go online and search Ryouta’s name.

“Stay away from the internet,” was the first thing Eun Mi said when she arrived. She threw her practice bag on the ground, tossing her snapback on top of it. She scooped her hair up with one swift motion, a deep frown setting in a fierce scowl, her eyebrows strained with temper.

“What are you waiting for?” she very nearly growled at them. “Practice starts now.”

“U-unnie…”

“Now, Chae Young. We have a comeback to prepare for.”

They exchanged nervous looks. Eun Mi’s foul moods, rare and vicious, always frightened them. Their dance teacher entered the room behind her, his mood just as foul.

“You have the most work to do, Song Eun Mi. Taking a break at a crucial time like this. When will you learn what is a responsibility and what is a capricious errand?”

Eun Mi hung her head, apologizing.

“If you’re really sorry, master the choreography today. This comeback will happen, girls. No more excuses. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!”

He worked them so hard that by the end of the day, they could hardly hold a single thought for more than a few seconds. Except for Eun Mi, the rest were dismissed.

DAEE watched her continue her practice for a few moments before Chae pulled her away.

“Let’s leave her alone. She’s in a rage.”

Eun Mi was in a rage. In a rage against stalkers, against the media, against everything and everyone. She hated everything so much; the girls could see the hatred in her eyes. DAEE lingered for a couple of seconds more before allowing Chae to drag her away.

Inexplicably, it all felt as if it were her fault. All of it. What all of it was, DAEE couldn’t even explain.

A dark gloom swallowed her from the inside out. She didn’t turn her cellphone back on, missing Ryouta’s calls that night and the following morning.