The rain has stopped completely in Beijing.

Four bodies were sprawled in an expensive living room, alongside bottles of beer, soju, and a flask of rum. Chips were scattered in corners, under the table, beside an upturned bottle, by the fingers of a snoring Zitao, or within Yixing’s hair – presumably due to rummaging his hair in between bites of the crackers. Jongdae’s humming a tune, but Lu Han is sure his Korean guest is asleep. Having roomed with him a couple of times, the singer has been known to sing even in his sleep. Yifan has just passed out murmuring what Lu Han thinks are lines from his current movie – definitely drunk from the bottle of wine he has held onto from the after-party.

Lu Han made his way out on the veranda where another person is wrapped in an oversized hoodie. Fall is almost over, giving way to winter and the low temperature is biting at three in the morning. Lu Han wrapped the bubble jacket around himself tightly.

“I can’t believe you made it,” Lu Han began walking over to the railing where the other person is hunched over, looking at the Beijing skyline. Except there wasn’t really much to see but faint lights coming from nearby houses; buildings from the distance were covered with fog that’s determinant of the capitol city. Their floor wasn’t too high up to begin with, but it was enough to make Lu Han’s heart skip a beat whenever he comes too close to the edge.

Minseok turned and motioned for the other to come close.

Lu Han wasn’t sure if it’s the fear of falling the makes his heart beat twice as fast, or the idea of being alone with this person after such a long period of time. He wished for it to be the former and dismissed his fear when he folded his arms on the railing, standing close beside Minseok.

“If I were promoting like Jongdae, I would probably have missed it,” the older man answered. He has finally succumbed to age and Lu Han can see faint lines around his mouth and at the corners of his big eyes. “And I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’m pretty sure you’ll hold it against me ‘til the day we die.”

Lu Han laughed at that. Minseok still knows how he feels.

“I’m quitting,” Minseok suddenly said, and Lu Han turned so quick he could have snapped a nerve. “After my service, I’m planning on leaving the idol life.”

The host looked at his guest for a long time not sure of what he’s supposed to say. He managed to utter a comprehensible Why and inched closer as Minseok spoke in a much quieter voice.

“My contract will end next year, while I’m still in service. I don’t have to decide until I get released. I don’t plan on signing anymore.”

“Have you told them?” Lu Han asked, tilting his head to the two other remaining members in the room.

Minseok shook his head no. A cold wind blew and Minseok shivered, “You’re the first.”

Lu Han opened his bubble jacket and waved Minseok closer, wrapping the jacket around the two of them. He leaned closer and hugged Minseok from behind, attempting to shelter them both from the late autumn wind.

“Don’t you think you’re being too hasty?” the actor asked, his tone not accusing but searching, genuinely curious.

“Lu Han,” Minseok turned his head, accidentally brushing his lips against Lu Han’s cheeks. It’s happened before, countless times many years ago, and still, Lu Han caught himself holding his breath, looking ahead, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. And Minseok continued, “The mates I have in the service have accomplished so much for themselves. One is about ten years younger than I am and he enlisted early because he thinks he really wants to be a soldier, and to me it looks like he will eventually become someone this country could be proud of. One is half way through university but stopped because he wanted to serve while in his prime years. He’s taking Engineering classes and it’s amazing just how much he knows about bridges and buildings. Then there’s this young man who’s about two years into college but decided to drop out. He’s running a chicken and pizza house in Insadong and though he was reluctant to leave the management, he says after the service, they’re planning on expanding, and he can't be gone by then. They are normal citizens, Lu Han, and yet they know a lot and have achieved so much for themselves. They haven’t even crossed thirty yet!”

“You’re a star in your own right, don’t forget that. And you’ve gotten yourself a degree despite being an idol. That’s already a feat in itself.”

“But I know there’s so many things I can do outside this life,” Minseok pressed on. “This isn’t forever, and you know that as much as I do.”

Lu Han has finally decided then to look at Minseok, directly at the excited man’s eyes. He was so determined and passionate. He has already decided and there’s no swaying him. His eyes are clear and resolute. His mouth pressed into a thin line, deftly upturned at the corners.  He was so beautiful.

And that was all it took for Lu Han to hover his lips over the other’s. And as if permitting, Minseok closed his eyes and their lips touched.

Soft, chaste, feather-light and quick, Lu Han pulled back just in time to see Minseok leaning in for more. Lu Han smiled to himself and kissed Minseok again, all emotions pouring.

Lu Han knew a lot about his feelings, not so much about things, but he knew. He knew he loved Minseok way back his idol days, for his hard work, for his determination, for his care, for his smiles, for his touches, for everything that Minseok is; loves him still, for his passion, for his insights, for his values, for being Minseok still. And Lu Han didn’t care that someone stirred in the room behind the glass doors. He cupped Minseok’s face with his left hand, pecked and nipped at his bottom lip, and just savoured him and adored him.

What Lu Han didn’t know then was how much Minseok feels the same.

But that night, when they were in bed, , and staring longingly at each other, they both knew that these pent up feelings were finally to be uncovered. What Lu Han has kept for the past eight or so years, he was determined for Minseok to know. He was determined for Minseok to know in the way he trails kisses down his best friend’s shoulders, along his arms, on his hands, on his fingertips. He was determined for Minseok to know in the way he touches the other’s face, his chest, his lean stomach, down to his legs, the inside of his thighs. He adored Minseok before, he adores him now. How Minseok’s body is perfect against his at every curve, every plane, and every nook that he doesn’t even know until this moment. It drove Lu Han crazy just how much love he has for the other man, and it drove him crazier to finally know he is loved just the same, maybe even more.

Lu Han wished for time to stop, for them to stay like this forever. But he slept just the same, because the man he loves is beside him. And the morning will not take him away.

At least not yet.

When morning came, Lu Han was sure his guests managed to find themselves out. He heard squeaking and cabinets pulled open and pushed closed. The tap ran and water splashed in his kitchen. He heard Yifan shuffle the others out and as the doors closed, he heard his phone beep a message. He would later find out that Yifan has messaged him to meet the others later that night, and to not forget to tell Minseok, because they’re continuing their reunion at his pad. That rich kid and his penchants for parties.

Lu Han snuggled close to the body beside him. It stirred and Lu Han tightened his hold. He knew Minseok had been awake way before him, and had been watching him since. Just like he used to back in the days, except this time, Minseok kissed him on his nose, and pecked on his lips instead of just saying good morning.

“I bought an apartment, with three rooms,”Minseok said as he held Lu Han closer, mumbling close to his ear. “You can stay with me when you come to Seoul.”

“I’m not paying rent, okay?”

“I won’t treat you as a guest anyway.”

“What?!”

“You can stay, live there, treat it as your own.”

There were thousand more promises made then: like Lu Han continuing with his therapy on heights (despite hating his long torturous sessions and simulations), resting enough so he doesn’t get over fatigued, and writing more letters to Minseok while in the service. Minseok promised to think over his decision, give the members time to maybe persuade him, and at least make them feel that it wasn’t selfish at all.

This is the chapter that kind of ties the past and the present, sorry if it has been confusing until now. I'll post the epilogue before the week ends or when I have time. Our office IT people has blocked AFF (it has not done it before) so I'm kind of stuck with after office hours, which during this time I'm normally already tired to open the computer. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

And many thanks to those who have stuck around, and then welcome to those who just arrived!