The Observatory

The Barbarian's Cherry Blossom

Climbing the mountain for over an hour, Mayu Watanabe, Rainoric Eadwulf (with Sakura Miyawaki still stuck inside him) has climbed up the mountain north of the Edanzi tribe. After a few pull ups from Rainoric and a murdered goat, the group have finally reached the highest climable point on the mountain. And waiting for them is the entrance to the White Dust Church ruins that Mayu told them about.

"Its surprisingly intact."Rainoric said.

"I hope you can unlock it. As you told me Sakuratan."Mayu said.

"It should open Mayu don't worry. Anyway, we need to find some sort of relic called 'the Eyes of Auriga'. Rainoric can easily translate the inscriptions for us."Sakura said.

The three went up to the entrance of the Church. The door entrance was made of a marble-like material that had many inscriptions etched to it. There was also several scractches and burn marks from tomb robbers who tried to gain entrance and steal the treasures hidden inside.

"Hey look at that door's readings. It says, 'The Observatory'."Rainoric pointed.

"Yatta, makes sense for 'the Eyes of Auriga' to be inside. Hai, lets go."Sakura optimistcally said.

She placed her hand on the door and concentrated her poweres. And as it should happen, the door's etchings glowed white and the marble-like door slided downwards opening the entrance of the Church. Mayuyu grabbed a flashlight that she has with her and lit the first room of the abandoned building. It was a dark near empty room except for some cracked vases and dusty flooring and walls. Mayu and Sakura both sneezed at the irritating foreign bodies that invaded their lungs which caused an echo.

"Well, lets get in shall we? White Dust Mages can bypass y traps so when I see one stop moving."Rainoric instructed.

The 3 went down to the depths of the building occasionally stopping to marvel at the architecture of the White Dust Bishops and their choice of decorations. It's like walking into a museum in a major European city, despite the fact the place look liked the last time a Janitor cleaned the place was a millenia ago.

"These Bishops really love art. Hey look, an oil painting."Mayu pointed to an oil painting of a beautiful woman with brunnette hair with a few streaks of blonde. She approached the painting and saw that a part of the painting had a name plaque covered in dirt and dust. Mayu wiped it off and read out the name plaque.

"Sophia the Guardian-seer"Mayu recited.

"Mother?"Rainoric turned to Mayu. He saw the painting and stared at it. Sakura walked to him and held his left hand as Rainoric began to cope at the lost of his mother.

"When I find you Mother, I will bury you like a warrior's funeral." Rain said reaching his hand to the cheek of the painting of his mother. After a brief moment of silence as the Warlord-in-training reflects himself they eventually went back to their task at hand.

 

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After walking past an entire length of the Museo del Prado of Madrid (AN: Went there, nice place and real huge!). The group finally found themselves infront of a unusually glowing door with some metal cogs and hinges placed around it. It was unlike the usual hidden doors that they often pass through (and were sometimes y trapped that thankfully were disarmed by Sakura and Rainoric much to Mayu's faint hearted relief.).

"This is the only door we haven't explored yet."Mayu held out a map of the place that she created for navigational purpses.

"The door says 'Vault'."Rainoric said.

"Then this must be where 'the Eyes' are."Sakura said. She reached out her hand to the glowing door and shockingly the door phased her hand through causing her to fall inside. The glowing door dissipated like a hologram revealing what is inside.

"Wow, It's a robot lover's paradise in here."Mayuyu's eyes widened in delight.

"Bishop's often collect Endless relics and this must house robot's drones and warmachines."Rainoric commented.

The room was a long hallway that was surrounded by electrical wirings and robotic like parts. Some of the gizmos were glowing a light blue light while others were slowly being powered up by the electric wires. At the end of the hall was a mask like object floating in a pedestal.

"That must be it." Sakura walked towards mask. The mask was colored gold and had a black hood to cover the back its wearer.

"Well let's find the weapon before Galerian does. Wear it!" Rainoric said excitedly.

"Please tell me what you see Sakuratan"Mayu said.

Sakura placed the mask on her face and began to concentrate....

 

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"Where am....I?"Sakura asked herself. She was floating amongst the clouds high above the skies of Auriga. She felt motion sickness as her feet aren't touching any stable ground..

"Focus Sakura! The mask can be used to see through the eyes of anyone living in Auriga, living or dead. Think...."Sakura said to herself.

She closed her eyes and began to think of Rainoric's mother Sophia. Then her surrounded virtual reality began to changed at her whim. The clouds around her darkened and winds as strong as turbines brushed along her clothes. Then her feet felt something soft, cold and wet. She raised her legs to see that she was in some sort of snowy enviorment resembling Gimael. She remembered the tundra breeze that froze her face and to find the relief of a warm comfortable fire nearby. But unlike Gimael's tundra the ground seems harsher and her surroundings were of 100 percent ice. At the distance where she stood, she could see a white glowing monolith at the distance that provided a light source other than the Aurora Borealis up in the dark sky.

 

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"Sakura are you okay you fell."Mayu said waking her up. Sakura opened her eyes to see that she was somehow seperated from Rainoric and now is back with her own body again.

"How did I..."Sakura asked Mayu.

"Basically uhm.... How do I explain...."Mayu tried to say but Rainoric, now with complete control of his body again stepped in.

"When you wore that mask on my head...I mean our head. The White Dust Properties must have overwhelmed you that.... get this.... I exploded you out. I managed with Mayu to put myself back together. Now I think this is the Yamanin feeling off.... 'Puking'."Rainoric said clenching the abdomen of his armored body.

"Eh? Explosion? At least I am intact."Sakura smiled now back to herself again.

"So what did you see?"Rainoric asked.

"I saw ice, snow... and White Dust Monolith."Sakura said.

"Um, that can be any snowy place. Did you see anything else?"Rainoric further questioned.

"Well I saw some Aurora Borealis..."

"What color was it?"

"Eh?"

"Don't 'Eh' Me. What color was it?"

"Why do you--"

"What color is it!?!" Rainoric shouted.

"Blue"

Rainoric stood still awkwardly infront of the two girls. He leaned on the pedestal where the Mask was floating at and sat down. Then he laughs.

"Mother and this weapon was just a boat ride away from us all this time! Ha Ha Ha! Father you cheeky bastard." Rainoric said.

"A boat ride away?"Sakura asked.

"We have to go back to Gimael Cherry, back to Guaita to be exact."

"Gimael? You mean angry barbarian land? Are you---"Mayuyu was about to say her comments about going north when she was suddenly riddled by bullets at her body.

"No!"Sakura said before Rainoric dragged her behind the pedestal taking cover from the bullets.

"The Unspoken demands your deaths! Kill the Gimaelic!" the voice of a Cultist Automaton Preacher yelled. A large group of Cultists were slowly closing in with crude automatic firearms shooting at them.

As it seems to look like the end of everyone, one of the robots inside the room activated. It was a large mechanical war machine colored in bone white with some rust and battle worn armor. I also came with a giant claw-like fist with an attached flamethrower on its left side and a minigun on its right side. It has a large coffin shaped cockpit  at the center of the machine with etched symbols, decorative ribbons and scrolls bearing names and prayers decorating the hull armor of the machine.

The warmachine rolled its minigun and sprayed lead to the Cultists who were easily cut down by the machine leaving only the Preacher left.

"Foul Abomination of the Endless! Meet your eeee---" that was the last words the rogue automaton said before her was promptly grabbed by the machine with its claw-fist and smashed into the ground multiple times until it smashed to bits.

With the coast was clear, Sakura got out of her cover and came rushing to Mayu.

"Mayuyu! Please don't die!" Sakura blocked off the bleeding bullet holes of Mayu. The older girl was now coughing blood and looked likes its going to be the end of her.

"No don't die!"Sakura yelled trying to press her hands on Mayu's wounds but there was too much blood loss and Mayu's skin, though already pale pink was now becoming snow white. Mayu's eyes were now slowly closing her eys as she breathed her las----

 

"New operator detected."The machine said. The coffin like part of the thing opened up to reveal a space large enough to fit a person inside. The machine scooped Mayu's body and opened its coffin-like cockpit and placed Mayuyu inside.

 

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(Mayuyu's POV)

Mayuyu opened her eyes to a bright light shining. Is it heaven? Did she died? Her assumptions were proven wrong when the rest of her vision cleared. She was inside some sort of enclosed space filled with some sort of liquid lube and there was a viewing hole that she peeked through. She could see Sakura and Rainoric staring at them.

(Credits to Beast of war)

"Mayuyu? Is that... you?"Sakura asked.

"Yes, am I alive? What happened."Mayu asked.

"Well can you still breathe? And also you were shot up awhile ago until you were torn a few new holes in you."Rainoric said.

Mayu tried to feel her body to check on her wounds, but as she did, she felt some stranged wires and cables attached to her. Plus she is breathing through some sort of breathing mask.

"Dreadnought Armor Pilot in stable condition. Systems Functionality: Active. Weapons: Locked and Loaded. Mission: Purge all Heretics." The voice of the machine said.

"A Dreadnought. Eslek joked to me that they are 'Coffins with guns'."Rainoric joked.

"Look over there! Kill them!" More Cultists shouted and began to shoot at the three. Sakura and Rainoric took cover behind Mayuyu as the bullets from there looted Earth guns were easily deflected by the Dreadnought's armor.

"Heretical Victory: IMPOSSIBLE!"The Dreadnought commented.

"No! Don't hurt my friends!"Mayuyu commented. Her mind wanted to defend her friends from their attackers that the neurologically linked cables and wires translated her brain signals into triggering her miningun. The .75 caliber rounds made mince meat out of the Cultists. Their bodies were like squashed tomatoes littered around the clean white floor staining it with their blood.

"Did I just...."Mayuyu tried to say in shock to that she just killed some people by just thinking about it.

"No time right now! We need to get out of here!"Rainoric said.

The group ran out to reach the exit and get out of this place alive.

 

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Everyone was pinned down by the pillars at the room where the door to the entrance of the Observatory is. Intense gunfire and an endless wave of Cultist ruin robbers are throwing themselves into the fire. If it werent for the Tanky Mayuyu cladded in Dreadnought Armor, they would have been long dead.

"Taking many......bullets."The Dreadnought commented.

"Rain! I hope you got a plan."Mayuyu cried.

"I got one! Sakura, make some of those 'Snow Globes' like you did in Ydeli. Were going to that door at my left."Rainoric pointed.

"Hai, Ooooo-----Hey!"Sakura was grabbed firmly by Rainoric and he carried Sakura as he dashed away from cover.

The Cultists took notice of them getting out and focused their fire at them.

"Shield now!" Rainoric dropped Sakura who reactively used her Dust Powers to create the 'Snow Globe' shield that protects them from projectiles.

"Mayu! Get them while they are exposed!"Rainoric ordered.

"Take this!"Mayu yelled, unleashing .75 caliber punishment at the Cultists giving Rain and Sakura the break they need to run towards the door Rain pointed.

After Sakura opened the door, they found themselves inside a room fitted with more machinery and buttons that were written in the tongue of the Endless.

"This is a.... how would you say, 'a security room'. All Endless Churches and ruins often have some sort of 'self-working' defense mechanism against robbers or any tresspassers."Rainoric said.

"You mean an Automated Defense System. Like turrets or something?"Sakura asked.

"Probably or maybe a Deathwall back in Gimael we have, roasts people alive inside out if your not supposed pass through. Okay listen to me, the machine will only respond to White Dust Bishops and I am the only one who can read what the buttons so we have to..... whats the word....."

"Cooperate?"

"Yeah cooperate. Now push this button!" Rainoric pointed.

With teamwork and synergy, Rain pointed the correct buttons that Sakura needed to push. And when they were done punching the correct sequence of buttons, the Observatory's defenses, laser turrets, popped out of their hiding place and even after a millenia of never shooting anything before, unleashed their firepower down upon the hapless Cultists who were routed by the unexpected activation of the automated defeneses.

"You did it Rainoric!"Mayuyu cheerfully said.

"No me and Sakura did it! You can a Geldrius' c*** Cultist scum!"Rainoric cheered raisng his Plasma pistol in the ceiling and shot celebratory gunfire.

The three went out of the ruins as dusk began to fall down on them. Sakura had with her 'the Eyes of Auriga' at her hands and already with the objective of going back to Gimael and find 'the Weapon' and Sophia before the wrong hands fall under them. Sakura almost just wanted to just sit down and rest for awhile when she heard a noise

 

*cough....cough....cough*

The Dreadnought automatically activated its darkness-sensitive flashlight and looked for the  source of the sound. After a minute they found the source of the coughing from a near-death Cultist soldier. He had wounds all over his body similar to how Mayu got before she was placed inside the armor. The Dreadnought grabbed the soldier with the Dreadnought's left Claw-arm and raised him up.

"Where is your hoard? Swine!"Rainoric interrogated.

"I cannot tell to an abomination like you...."The Cultist defiantly stood his mental ground despite his grievous injuries.

Rainoric almost wanted to just kill the man right there and now, his hatred for the Cultists already getting the best of him but Sakura stopped him.

"Rain, let me try."She calmly said. Rainoric stepped aside and let her do what she can to extract information from the Cultist.

Sakura's eyes glowed white and she gestured her right to tuck her middle finger and ringer finger under her thumb and raised her index and pinky finger slightly aboved the two tucked fingers and waved her hand around the face of the Cultists, an aura of white glowed on her hand and the Cultist's eye's glowe white and his face loosened.

"Beyond the mountain at the otherside west of here, 3rd fist of the Queen rests the horde."The Cultists said.

"Put him out of his misery."Rainoric flicked his thumb up and slid it down from his neck.

Mayu slammed the Cultists down to the ground killing him instantly.

"A Cultist horde? This close to us?"Sakura said.

"We need to investigate, if they are this close in Aksyar territory they are bound to be up to something sinister. Mayu, I suggest you war your Edanzi Tribesmen. The feet of the Dreadnought can allow you to walk down without a problem."Rainoric said.

"I can call you with a psychic link if I need to tell you something."Sakura said.

"Okay, Good Luck Rain and Sakura."Mayu said.

The three split up in different directions determined to stop the Cultists from whatever there plans are.

 

 

 

 


 

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 6: Hmm. So things are certainly unfolding at a quick pace here. It's a little bit tricky keeping track of things because the forces were jumping around on Earth, showing up in one place when they were apparently expected in another, and the defenses against the intruders seem pretty ineffective. I know they're space faring warriors but couldn't we get a little more detail beyond 'necklaces' that protect them. How exactly do these things protect them?

I do like how you've been explaining more and giving more detail as the story progresses, so that's definitely something, but I have noticed a relative habit of how your voice suddenly jumps in to mention how this will be important later or explains something in the now and it's jarring. You could have one of the characters explain things mid-story, or even use the non-dialogue space to add world details that wouldn't pull the reader out of the moment when they're reading.

I was also a little confused by Rainoric's reaction to Sakura because he, and his people/friends, seem to be treating slaves with remarkable manners. But who knows. Maybe that's just the way they treat beings so far below them. *shrug* I also would prefer if you actually did more showing instead of telling with your battle scenes as opposed to saying "I'll let you use your imagination here." It comes off as lazy writing. I can imagine plenty, but I still want guidelines when you're showing me your world and what's happening in it. Do you know what I mean?

In this chapter, I was also curious when Sakura hit her head? I didn't catch that so I was surprised when she was suddenly waking up from a week long coma. :S But things are slowly starting to come together and while I'm not sure what the larger, central conflict of the world is going to be just yet, you seem to have tension aplenty between the people as a warrior race, if nothing else.
Amalya
#2
Chapter 3: Okay. So I'm just starting to read this and while I probably won't comment on every chapter, I do intend to pause every so often. I think the image in the character bio page is broken since I can't see the picture at all. I'm personally not a huge fan of character bios in the beginning of the story myself but in this case, I do think it's helpful information since most of the characters are almost completely new (goodness knows I've never heard of most of them haha).

For this chapter, I have at least begun to get an idea of what's going on in the story, though I find myself wishing for more description. What do these people look like? What sorts of mannerisms do they have, other than surprising knockouts when someone is apparently talking too long? Are they all humanoid? Do any of them talk with accents? These kinds of things. I did appreciate the explanations at the bottom of the chapter, though I also think you might have been able to work them into the story. While I also appreciate you have linked the information available for us to read up on the Endless game series, it's also something I tend to think you may want to work on incorporating more yourself. Then again, I don't know if you were expecting people to be familiar with the Endless game series if they found your story, so that could just be me at the moment.

I would say be careful with some of your spellings since I noticed a few mistakes here and there, but overall, things are easy enough to understand. I'm curious to see how the rest of the world/story unfolds with that tag you've added at the end of this update in regards to world changing consequences. heh We shall see.
UltimateLockSmith
#3
Chapter 37: Wow... Annya became a sacrifice... Rena's well... both her and Jurina in one go.... ....
fenrirabyss
#4
Chapter 36: OMG awesome update 10/10 OMG Jurina what are you doing!?!?!?!
fenrirabyss
#5
Chapter 34: Why?....I dont know what to do now......T^T
RukaKikuchi
#6
Chapter 34: *speechless* *tears flowing* Why...? T^T
RukaKikuchi
#7
Chapter 33: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! TT_____TT
RukaKikuchi
#8
Chapter 32: WOAH! This is a new kind of body swap... uh, if you can count it that. XD
Update soon! *bows*
RukaKikuchi
#9
Chapter 24: O_________O Holy freaking crap......
UltimateLockSmith
#10
Chapter 8: Hey, for your question an adding another character from AKB, I want SKEs Takayanagi Akane... In some action fanfics I've read with Churi, she fights hard... One Fic I've read, Churi had a fudging jet XD