Prologue: The Satellite

The Barbarian's Cherry Blossom

Log from a Gimaelic* asteroid mining ship:

We have made a Discovery my lord High King Gewis Eadwulf ruler of Gimael!

Today we miners were just drilling the gold off of some asteroids when we came upon an unusually shaped asteroid. Upon closer inspection we confirmed that this is no oddly shaped satellite but is some sort of piece of machinery that for some reason was flying off far away from the Empire's* frontier.

Upon closer examination we found a circular golden cover on the back (or I think it is the back?) and saw a golden cover with strange symbols that I hope the Scholae* Bishops* may decipher with their knowledge. Upon careful removal of the cover the contents inside contained 1 golden disc with text on the center (which oddly pictures a planet of somesorts I think)  which says "The Sounds of Earth". I hope we can uncover the mysteries of this strange and alien artifact to you my King.

From: The Captain of the Intrepid Scout

End Message......

---------------

"Thus says the letter I quoted on my hand!" Said High King Gewis to the Gimaelic Assembly*.

"My Lord, judging from the symbols of this cover. We conclude that they are in fact instructions that tells us how to unlock the contents of the disc the mining team found." Says one of Aurigan's many Scholae Bishops.

"We have made a contraption hope can decipher the disc my King." Says another Scholae. He pointed to Gewis a contraption which contained a needle that would read the disc, a sound speaker and a hologram projector to display pictures.

When the Scholaes placed the disc on a slot where the reading needle is and activated the contraption the Assembly all huddled together awaiting to hear and see the golden disc's contents.

We were greeted by a barrage of sounds coming from the speakers:

"Bonjour! Salut! Ciao! Hola! Hello! Ni Hao! Konichiwa! Annyeonghaseyo! Shalom! Hujambo!" were the words that came out of the speaker. The Assembly also heard animal noises which might have frightened some of the Nobles.

Then the Hologram projector to show pictures of the natives of the civilization we have encountered. Gewis saw pictures of Earth's animals, people and man made constructions such as houses, Tajmahal, New York city, Tokyo, Giant Redwood Trees and statues.

"By Godan! This Civilization looks good enough to sack!" Says Chieftain Lethuc

"See! This why most of Auriga and even fellow Broken Lord's see's us as Pariah Folk!" shouted an Emissary of Ghogthal*

"Well maybe if you didnt charge ridiculous prices for food we wont have this problem Ghoth!" a Gimaelic Noble Shouted back

"Order in my Hall! Order! Order! ORDER!!!" Shouted Gewis as he slammed his thrones sidearms with the ivory handle of his sword.

"We shall not discuss any food or trade related topics in my hall today! We SHALL DISCUSS this planet we have found! You! Scholae! What do you say about this planet?" Gewis said

"My Lord judging by the photos of the disc I say that this 'Earth' is very fertile and has a noteworthy civilization just in the brink of making space travelling worthy ships." The Scholae said

The Assembly began to whisper and speak to each others with Nobles saying that Gimael should invade carry off the loot and prisoners from the sack while other Nobles establish a peaceful trade agreement with the Earthling Humans and hopefully get Food for signifacantly fair price.

"I Highly go against any kind of Diplomatic or Military action on this planet untill we know what exactly is inside!" Osgar Daguth, one of Gimael's distinguished soldiers said.

"Then who is brave or stupid enough to scout out this planet before we come up to a decision what to do with it?" Gewis asked the Assembly.

"I will I always loved the challenge!" Lethuc proudly said with his arms on his side and chest held high.

"Absolutely not! How will the Emperor know when you come back here with a fleet of ships chasing after you? or worse you and your warriors in chains parading in shame around the empire with a ransom note sent from the barbaric Earthlings in advance for your safe return?" Objected the Ghogthal Emissary

"You dare doubt my ability to fight off other 'Barbarians'? Well then allow me to demonstrate Sebharii combat prowess!" Lethuc exclaimed and approached the Ghoth and gave him an uppercut. The Emissary's bodyguards grabbed their unconcious boss and scuttled off.

"Nice one Lethuc thought that haughty Ghoth will preach all day!" said a Gimaelic Noble

"But I may have to agree with him on this one Lethuc. We already have way to many problems here to worry another diplomatic incident." said another Noble

"Gewis I have an Idea that may reduce 'Political Damage' against us while still getting some loot off of them! How about I just bring no more but 1000 men to the planet as an expedition and after a little documenting, recording and all those boring stuff we do some good old fashioned pillaging! Then we present these treasures to Emperor Galerius* on the harvest festival and as a finishing touch! We name the bloody planet after 'em!" Gewis proposed

The Assembly hall erupted with Nobles approving  and secondning the notions of Lethuc's plan.

"Very well, this Assembly unanimously agreed that Lethuc with our material support, send he and 1000 of his Sebharii warriors on an expedition/raid on the Human planet of..... EARTH!" Gewis said while raising his sword prompting the other Nobles to do the same also.

Little did Gimael, The Broken Lords and the planet Auriga as a whole know of what history changing and cultural consequences has in store for these fierce space-faring barbarian warriors.

 

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Gimael: Region in Auriga where Gewis, Rainoric, Wulfgar, Lethuc and most of the characters of this story live. It is a land of many geographic anomalies such as Earthspine, Black Dust, Moss Pearls, Ice pearls etc. (Anomalies in the game Endless legend). The land has very few places to farm or make a ranch out of so Gimaelites rely on unfairly expensive imports of food from the outside in exchange for massive ammounts of Dust, gold, jewelry, Steel and other natural resources found in the region. The region is also infamous for its warrior aristocratcy and its unofficially sanctioned "Free Market fencing" from its many raids outside or inside the planet.

Aurigan Empire: Space-faring empire with the home planet being Auriga (hence the name) as the center of trade, power and might in the vast void of space

Scholae: Scholar

Bishop: Universally, the Broken Lords are ruled by a group of Arcane Dust proficients called 'Bishops' .They hold a major part in the Politcal, Social and Academical aspects of Aurigan society.

The Gimaelic Assembly: Basically Space-Viking parliament

Ghoghthal: Capital city of Auriga and seat of Imperial power of the Broken Lords and all of Auriga and its many diverse races; the people who live there are called Ghogths (Goths)

Emperor Galerian: the controversial emperor of Auriga

 

 

 

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Amalya #1
Chapter 6: Hmm. So things are certainly unfolding at a quick pace here. It's a little bit tricky keeping track of things because the forces were jumping around on Earth, showing up in one place when they were apparently expected in another, and the defenses against the intruders seem pretty ineffective. I know they're space faring warriors but couldn't we get a little more detail beyond 'necklaces' that protect them. How exactly do these things protect them?

I do like how you've been explaining more and giving more detail as the story progresses, so that's definitely something, but I have noticed a relative habit of how your voice suddenly jumps in to mention how this will be important later or explains something in the now and it's jarring. You could have one of the characters explain things mid-story, or even use the non-dialogue space to add world details that wouldn't pull the reader out of the moment when they're reading.

I was also a little confused by Rainoric's reaction to Sakura because he, and his people/friends, seem to be treating slaves with remarkable manners. But who knows. Maybe that's just the way they treat beings so far below them. *shrug* I also would prefer if you actually did more showing instead of telling with your battle scenes as opposed to saying "I'll let you use your imagination here." It comes off as lazy writing. I can imagine plenty, but I still want guidelines when you're showing me your world and what's happening in it. Do you know what I mean?

In this chapter, I was also curious when Sakura hit her head? I didn't catch that so I was surprised when she was suddenly waking up from a week long coma. :S But things are slowly starting to come together and while I'm not sure what the larger, central conflict of the world is going to be just yet, you seem to have tension aplenty between the people as a warrior race, if nothing else.
Amalya #2
Chapter 3: Okay. So I'm just starting to read this and while I probably won't comment on every chapter, I do intend to pause every so often. I think the image in the character bio page is broken since I can't see the picture at all. I'm personally not a huge fan of character bios in the beginning of the story myself but in this case, I do think it's helpful information since most of the characters are almost completely new (goodness knows I've never heard of most of them haha).

For this chapter, I have at least begun to get an idea of what's going on in the story, though I find myself wishing for more description. What do these people look like? What sorts of mannerisms do they have, other than surprising knockouts when someone is apparently talking too long? Are they all humanoid? Do any of them talk with accents? These kinds of things. I did appreciate the explanations at the bottom of the chapter, though I also think you might have been able to work them into the story. While I also appreciate you have linked the information available for us to read up on the Endless game series, it's also something I tend to think you may want to work on incorporating more yourself. Then again, I don't know if you were expecting people to be familiar with the Endless game series if they found your story, so that could just be me at the moment.

I would say be careful with some of your spellings since I noticed a few mistakes here and there, but overall, things are easy enough to understand. I'm curious to see how the rest of the world/story unfolds with that tag you've added at the end of this update in regards to world changing consequences. heh We shall see.
UltimateLockSmith #3
Chapter 37: Wow... Annya became a sacrifice... Rena's well... both her and Jurina in one go.... ....
fenrirabyss #4
Chapter 36: OMG awesome update 10/10 OMG Jurina what are you doing!?!?!?!
fenrirabyss #5
Chapter 34: Why?....I dont know what to do now......T^T
RukaKikuchi #6
Chapter 34: *speechless* *tears flowing* Why...? T^T
RukaKikuchi #7
Chapter 33: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! TT_____TT
RukaKikuchi #8
Chapter 32: WOAH! This is a new kind of body swap... uh, if you can count it that. XD
Update soon! *bows*
RukaKikuchi #9
Chapter 24: O_________O Holy freaking crap......
UltimateLockSmith #10
Chapter 8: Hey, for your question an adding another character from AKB, I want SKEs Takayanagi Akane... In some action fanfics I've read with Churi, she fights hard... One Fic I've read, Churi had a fudging jet XD
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