Melted
Falling Before FlyingMany say that people can sense death when it's upon their doorstep. There's a certain aura that sits in the room, almost like an uninvited, invisible houseguest. It follows them around, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce upon their helpless prey. At this exact moment, Do Kyungsoo knew it was at last his time. He had to go, he had to see Chanyeol face, feel his embrace. Jongin wasn't enough. And call him selfish and such, but have you ever loved someone so much they were your oxygen? They kept you alive, and then being without them was a slow, painful death.
"Kyungsoo! Say something! Anything, just please talk to me!" Hot tears fell furiously down his cheeks, dripping one by one off his chin.
Across from him, another man stood with a face full of nothing but apathy. Even when the strong winter winds would pick up and hurl gusts of snow at him, his face remained the same. It was quite odd, a bit funny even, how even as he stood atop a building with his lover screaming out to him, and still he wasn't willing to let that precious façade fade away. Kyungsoo's eyes threated heavy tears, but he tried with what little strength he had left in him not to let on fall. Not to give into that weakness. Kyungsoo didn't want to pull or yank Jongin in any further, his goal was to push him away. Push to the point where he didn't even want to be with Kyungsoo anymore. Jongin was too attached to Kyungsoo, and he wanted to change that. Tears would only made the other care more.
Kim Jongin, on the other hand, was letting his tears flow freely in a partial attempt to get his boyfriend to talk to him or more importantly step away from the ledge. He wasn't sure why Kyungsoo was locking himself up after Jonging had spent so long doing the opposite to him. What he did know was that honestly he was better off without Kyungsoo. If Jongin would've let him go long ago, neither would probably be in this situation. Maybe he was just scared to lose Kyungsoo. Jongin knew he wanted nothing but an overdose of Do Kyungsoo, and he'd give up anything just to be with him another minute, another hour, another lifetime. But now, standing on this building, Jongin began to think of the past year he'd spent with Kyungsoo. It seemed like he only had part of his love, and having half of something is way harder than having nothing at all. He finally noticed that throughout the last year they'd spent together, Kyungsoo was slipping through Jongin's hand like sand. He was losing the only thing he had left. Kim Jongin was tired of fighting, tired running, tired of having his love throw a quarter of his heart into the relationship while Jongin was putting it all in. Honestly, he just wanted his old Kyungsoo back. The Kyungsoo he feel in love with, not this one he was falling out of love with. The Kyungsoo he fell in love with was mysterious and emotional, but this man standing on the ledge was jaded, unenthusiastic towards everything. His only wish was that his Kyungsoo would come back home.
But then again, was Kyungsoo ever really his? That, Jongin didn't have an answer to. If Kyungsoo was his, then why did he like nothing more than a filler lover? He knew he wasn't the first choice, but there was a strange innuendo that he wasn't the second choice either. This internal battle that he's secretly been fighting with himself caused doubts on a daily basis. Did Kyungsoo even care? Why was he being like this? Only, little did Kim Jongin know, this was Kyungsoo's life.
Do Kyungsoo spent every agonizing day deciding if now was finally the right time. Each day, he'd come so close to the breaking point. Those thoughts of his pointless, wasteful existence that plagued day after day, week after week, year after year took its toll on him. Why was he even trying? What was there left to live for? Every person that got somewhat close to him ended up throwing him back into the garbage where he belonged. He'd sit with his broken halo and black wings, thinking about what a miserable, wretched monster he was. Kyungsoo would pass the time thinking about the fact that there was no place he really belonged. Do Kyungsoo was a identity-less, homeless monster.
"Jongin, turn around. And please don't cry. You'll get your wings." And then he was off. Kyungsoo was at last doing his favor to the world. Jongin, Chanyeol, everyone, he was finally doin good to them with this act.
"K-Kyungsoo. You have to learn how to fall before you can learn to fly..."
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