Baby, Don't Cry
Falling Before FlyingIn some way, each and every person tries to cling to something of the past. An idea, a feeling, an experience, a moment, and most commonly, a person. People they have loved, hated, wished to be with, wished to destroyed. Someone that they had an important tie to. Said person could've changed their life or ruined it (usually those go hand in hand). In many cases, people want to remember the person they gave their heart to. And even though we all know it, chasing the past only makes things worse. They end up more broken, lonelier, and a hell of a lot more vulnerable. Honestly, what good does chasing the past do when we just end up worse than when we started?
Do Kyungsoo sat and pondered, hands gently caressing the polaroids of two happy men. One of them, Kyungsoo. In these photos, Kyungsoo actually appeared to be quite happy. In each picture, he had a smile on his face and a look of pure enjoyment in his eyes. He remembers that time, the time he was genuinely filled with happiness. But he guessed he had used up all his happiness. It's like every human being has the same amount of happiness that they have to make last their entire life. Some people use it up quickly (kind of like Kyungsoo), and others never touch there's. Kyungsoo had no happiness left, although, he was completely fine with the way things were.
Staring down emotionless at the photos, the man allowed himself to taken back to another time. A time where he was suffering from a silly little thing called love. When you're in love, everything seems fluffy and brighter. Colors more vibrant, clouds more puffer, senses simply more enhanced to everything beautiful (oblivious to the ugly, like the idea of breaking up). Kyungsoo picked a particular memory that held so much value to him: the last happy memory he had before his lover got sick. Before things went south and never came back.
The sun shone brightly down on the people, everybody following the summer vibes consuming the whole city. On that particular, Kyungsoo and his love, Park Chanyeol, happened to be in the park. The air was filled with the scent of freshly mowed grass, something the both of them loved.
"Kyunggie, do you think you'll ever be able to go back home?" Whilst asking, Chanyeol motioned ever so slightly to the bright blue, cloudless sky.
"I'm not sure Yeol. I don't know if I'll ever be allowed back in, and I only know of one exception, one where any angel is allowed back in.." Kyungsoo looked up from his novel, Romeo and Juliet, to gaze at the river and answer.
"A what's that?" He leaned over to read the words on the page while waiting for Kyungsoo's response, "What greater punishment is there than life when you've lost everything that mad it worth living?"
Kyungsoo laughed quietly at the reciting, then continued, "The only way an angel who was kicked out is allowed back into Heaven is if they voluntarily give up their life for someone else, someone they love unconditional. Angels aren't really alive nor dead, we do feel pain though, it's hard to explain Yeol." Thinking about home caused a bit of sadness inside Kyungsoo, but it soon drifted when he instinctually nestled his head into the crook of Chanyeol's neck. But back to the part about status of angels being neither alive not dead. Because angels had the ability to come down to earth, they weren't really considered a human being as much as a spiritual creature. One that just took a human form.
"Not that I don't you to go back to Heaven, but please never ever do that while I'm around." Chanyeol adjusted his head so it'd be set up the shorter's. Kyungsoo smiled into his neck, wishing time would freeze so that he could somehow capture this moment. Not with a picture or video, with more of memory. He wanted to sit their long enough with no interruptions so he could get a clear memory of the scene. What colon Chanyeol had on, the feeling of sunlight filtering the leaves of the tree they were under, he craved to remember ever little thing about today.
"It's okay Yeol, as long as you're here, it's home. I never want to leave home."
"And I'll never leave you Kyungsoo. Promise."
"Thanks for keeping your ing promise Park Chanyeol." There wasn't an intent for tears, but he soon found his face wet with them. Memories of Chanyeol were the only things in the word he didn't hold any animosity towards. In an instant, those memories playing through this mind like a film strip would cause him to fall into a state of utter weakness and vulnerability. However, in his friendless world, why would any care how he felt? Most people have a support system, a group or a person they can run to in situations like the one taking place. But Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo was all alone. He had always been all alone since the day Chanyeol went back to Kyung's home.
Not wanting to make a scene in the noiseless building, Kyungsoo rushed to get his coat on and rushed out into the cold. With the air stinging his face red, it was nearly impossible to tell he had been tearing up. Furiously, he used the back of his hand to wipe away any traces of the tears. Technically, right now was his lunch break. His appetite was nonexistent, and the only image in his head was of the first memory he ever shared with Chanyeol. It was in the school's library, late one night.
"Romeo and Juliet, huh? A depressingly classical tale." A deep, husky voice laughed behind him.
"I like it, not all stories need happy endings. It's not how real life works. Most novels give people unrealistic, optimistic outcomes for everything. It's just ing ridiculous." Kyungsoo rolled his eyes with an irritated look on his face.
"Spite, I like that in a stranger. My name is Park Chanyeol. Mind if I read with you?" The tall guy didn't wait for an answer and stay down in the chair right next to Kyungsoo's.
"I never said 'yes'." He scooted his chair in the other direction only to find that Chanyeol goon scoot the same way, closer each time Kyungsoo tried to move further.
"Did my heart love until now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw true beauty until this night."
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