…T.O.P? TABI? What the hell is happening right now?! Why Tabi is in my house at this time around? Most importantly, WHY IS HE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Wait! Maybe he’s just a look-alike. Maybe this Tabi-wannabe is here to rob me, or worse, ME?

Upon reaching that conclusion, without any hesitation, I scream out loud: “BYUNTAE!!!” Shortly after that scream, I begin throwing anything that is within my reach towards that man, but nothing affects him much; to be more specific, he isn’t dodging the flying objects at all! Everything goes through his body as if he is a projected image of some sorts.

“That won’t be necessary, Gaeul-ah,” he says while raising an eyebrow to mock of my effort. Now I am panicking. My eyes are open wide and my heart is pounding hard in my chest, and not to mention cold sweat start to build up on my forehead.

“G-G-G-GWISHIN!!! SALYO JUSEYO!!!” Without caring about the ghost Tabi, I quickly run out of the room thru him towards my kitchen. My hand immediately grabs a knife and I point it towards the ghost in order to protect myself (does knife even capable of hurting a spirit?!).

The ghost calmly strides in my direction (he is not floating, is he?) and he shakes his head in disapproval. “Gaeul-ah,” he calls my name as he stands directly in front of me, “You shouldn’t be playing with knife, and you know that. Remember what happened to you when you were 6 at your halmeoni’s home?” The same eyebrow raises; he has a knack of mocking me without any remorse. I friggin’ hate this Tabi ghost!

“…how did you know about my past? And how did you know my name? What are you? WHO ARE YOU?!”

He gives a small chuckle as he rubs his nape. “I guess you don’t recognize me with my current look.” He looks up at up, his eyes are staring straight into mine. Somehow I feel that I do recognize that soft yet deep stare, but I just can’t recall. I am completely clueless of the ‘being’ in front of me.

“It’s me Gaeul-ah. Choi Joon Hyun, your imaginary friend.” Then, he smiles. That smile. I do remember that smile - that sweet smile of my best friend, that warm smile of my first love. All of a sudden, the memories of my childhood years come flooding in like a tsunami. All of a sudden, I remember everything…

 

“Hi!”

“…hi?”

“What’s your name?”

“…Gaeul. Kim Gaeul.”

“I’m Joon Hyun. Choi Joon Hyun. Let’s be friends!”  And he smiled.

 

I gasp loudly. It is him…

- - - - -

 

I am sitting on the floor in my living room with my arms wrapped around my knees tightly, not facing Joon Hyun at all; while Joon Hyun sits on the sofa still staring at me with his calm demeanor. I keep on shooting a glance at him every five seconds, and I know he realizes my action as he keeps on smirking every other five seconds.

“What is it Gaeul-ah? I know you have tons of questions you’re dying to ask me right now. I am open for an interview,” he teases as he lies back with his arms spread across the sofa. He is behaving like a normal human being, but I know very well that he is not real.

I glare at him sharply. “When did you start being so sarcastic? I never knew you’re this sarcastic.”

He laughs heartily. “We haven’t spoken to each other for almost 2 decades. Some things are bound to change over time.” Seeing my expression darkens by his statement, he chuckles lightly before he clears his throat. “Mian mian. So, are there any questions you wanna ask me?” He smiles sincerely at me.

I look at him for a while. There is a question that I desperately wanna know the answer for sure. “Why do you look like T.O.P from BIGBANG? Did you look like this when we first met? I don’t think so.”

“Don’t you remember? I am your imaginary friend. So, whatever your imagination imagines of me, that will be the result of me.” He nods. “And based on the posters on your bedroom walls, and not to mention the pictures on your phone, I believe you can figure that out for yourself.” He mocks me a smile. What an .

“So…you’re basically saying that if I imagine you as…Lee Minho? You will become him instead?”

 “Yeah, something like that. But, the imagination must be strong; so, that I can take the resemblance of his.” He nods and smiles warmly.

“So I see.” I nod in reply. “Pretty neat really.”

“Any other questions?”

The room goes quiet again. I am deep in my thoughts, while Joon Hyun is waiting for me to strike him another question. There is a question. It has been bothering me since I remembered him once again.

I finally decided to ask him. I turn my sitting position around for me to face him directly. “Where have you been all this while?”

“I’ve gone nowhere.”

“Then? Why didn’t I see you for the past years? Or the past 2 decades as you proudly announced just now?”

“I’ve gone nowhere. Jinjja yo.”

“Then? Why couldn’t I see you before?”

“Why do you think that happened instead?” He raises his eyebrow. He is testing me right now, but unfortunately, I seriously have no answer for my very own question. That is why I am asking him the question instead.

My silence pretty much gives him an idea that I am incapable of answering the question. “Simple Gaeul-ah. Do you remember when was the last time you’re able to see me? You were in your last year in elementary school, and that year was a rough year on you since you became the target of bullying even more frequent than before. Everyone saw you as the freak who talks alone, and you were bullied for that.”

He pauses to glance at me in the eyes. In some way, I can see pain and sorrows through his eyes; and that causes a lump in my throat. I don’t know why, but right in that instance I feel guilty towards Joon Hyun.

He continues, “The bullying did a huge toll on you. You couldn’t take the torments anymore. You had enough. And from that moment on, you started ignoring me – you pretended not seeing me, you stop talking to me through and through. You just stopped caring about me. Since I’m part of your imagination, and your mind was blocking you from interacting with me, eventually I started fade away, till you couldn’t see me completely afterwards.”

After hearing his reasoning, suddenly the memories back when I was in elementary school come rushing in. Yes. I did that to him. Yes. I ignored my only friend just because I didn’t want to be seen as a freak by my classmates. Yes. I did a horrible thing to him. I made my own imaginary friend invisible to me. I am a horrible person after all.

I look down in shame. I just can’t face him after knowing the very reason why he remained unseen for these past years. “…then…? Why did you come back again?”

“I’ve told you: I never left.”

“I meant…why did you show up again?”

He pauses. “…because you needed me desperately?”

I feel even more ashamed of my past behavior towards him – my head hangs low until my chin touches my chest. “I was horrible to you. I was acting like a world-class loser when I ignored you before. I am the worst friend for anyone, even for my very own imaginary friend.”

He keeps his silent. The room becomes quiet once again, and only the ticking clock and the noise from the street below echo around the house.

“…why did you come back for me?”

He finally breaks into a smile. “Because you needed me once again.”