Well, he did lose, but it was a close match, okay? And if Zitao and Kris hadn’t double-teamed him at the end of it, he totally would’ve won, even if the pair just laughed at him and shook their heads when he said so.

          He would’ve!

          Sighing, he opened the door to the cabin, kicked his shoes off, and walked sluggishly to his old bedroom. It was odd being here again, after so long of either only visiting occasionally to grab his belongings, or just not coming at all. He could barely smell himself and Baekhyun in this place, and it was almost unsettlingly quiet and dull. It wasn’t unexpected, of course, but it was just… odd to actually see. Especially since he was coming back alone now, and since he’d be staying here for a few days. It was as though this wasn’t even a home for him anymore, like it was some sort of random hotel where he didn’t know how anything worked or what to do or anything. It was so odd how just one month away could take away from years of living here.

          He trudged over to the bedroom, pulling his phone out of his pocket. By the time they had finished their little game of tag, it had already been pretty late into the evening, so they went back to the house immediately. Jongdae had gone around through the back, however, not wanting to be spotted by the pack while he grabbed a few things—his phone, some clothes to wear on the way back, etc.—before he left. He had already asked Kris and Zitao to explain why he was leaving and when he’d back, and luckily, he hadn’t been noticed while heading out. Once he had reached the cabin, however, was a different deal, as he noticed numerous texts from everyone—Baekhyun, Joonmyeon, Yixing, and Kyungsoo, in particular. Nothing surprising there, he thought with a little bit of a chuckle, but there was one little message that he just happened to notice, which brought a deep blush to his face.

          He locked the phone immediately, shaking his head and tossing it onto the bed. It was just a regular text; the others had sent him similar texts, only with more emojis after each word. This text was a standard, ‘don’t get yourself killed without us’ text. Minseok didn’t mean anything special by it, obviously. Just brother-to-brother friendship.

          We’ll miss you.

          ‘No, no, no, he didn’t mean anything special by it,’ he told himself, sitting back on the bed without even bothering to change into the night clothes; he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, that was comfy enough.

          ‘But he was the only one to say that,’ another, darker part of his mind told him. He shook his head at the thought immediately.

          ‘He doesn’t need to be repetitive, it’s fine,’ he argued to himself.

          ‘But why would he say it in the first place?’

          ‘He’s the eldest; he has to speak for the pack.’

          ‘If that’s the case wouldn’t he something more like “we’re counting on you to come back” or something?’

          ‘He’s just being nice.’

          ‘It seems like he’s trying to get close, like those other times.’

          ‘What other times?’

          ‘Like the time he invited you to play football—’

          ‘He thought I was lonely!’

          ‘Or the time he sat on your lap—’

          ‘That’s normal between friends!’

          ‘And then there’s the mug incident—’

          ‘That was nothing! We agreed to never speak of that again!’

          ‘There was something there and you know it!’

          ‘It was just sharing drinks between friends!’

          ‘He turned the god damn cup so you could ing swap a little saliva!’

          ‘It must have been a misunderstanding, that’s all!’

          ‘No it wasn’t!’

          ‘Yes it was!’

          ‘No it wasn’t!’

          ‘Yes it was!’

          ‘No!’

          ‘Yes!’

          ‘No!’

          ‘Yes!’

          He let his face fall into a pillow as the internal battle continued. He really needed to stop thinking about this so much; he was letting his imagination get to him too much. He was just over-thinking it, and it wasn’t helping his case at all.

          Sleep. That’s what he needed. It was already past midnight, and he’d had a long day. The best thing he could do for himself, rather than drowning himself in his imagination, was to just sleep it all off and relax for the next few days.

          And so, that’s what he did, except it didn’t seem to help as much as he was hoping.

          The day of the full moon, and Jongdae was feeling no more relaxed and calm than he had been three days prior. If anything, he felt worse, as though he was doing something wrong, something illegal, and that he constantly had to be on the look-out for if someone was coming to reprimand him. The burning he’d often feel in his wrist didn’t help the case either, and as the days passed, it felt as though the stinging feeling was only becoming worse and worse. At first, it was just some regular pricks, like had felt before, yet it was gradually developing into something far more.

          Though one incident took the cake, one that had happened right before night came and the full moon hit.

          He’d been out of cooking supplies, so he decided to go out to shop. He had been at a relatively small grocery store closer to the outskirts than to the big city, really. It was one he and Baekhyun had often visited, being one of the few areas close to them that wasn’t surrounded by other packs, and that was in a relatively decent area in general. After having been there so much, they’d become quite close to the owners and staff, so it was no surprise to see the shock on the employees’ faces when he walked in. They immediately called out to the manager, and started questioning him on where he and Baekhyun had been, while also messing around with him and such.

          As they continued with playful rough-housing, Jongdae felt the stinging begin, but ignored it, dismissing it as just what he had felt before. He continued with his shopping as usual, only buying what was essential (since he wouldn’t be at the cabin for much longer) before heading over to pay for his items. By then, he was starting to feel a bit suspicious and uneasy, as the stinging only grew while he handed over his items and money to the cashier. Still, he went about his business, and quickly wrapped up his shopping, but the worse had yet to come.

          He was barely able to control himself and keep up a strong front as he hugged the manager goodbye, trying to ignoring the burning feeling searing through not just his arm, but his entire body. He had managed to get out of the store without problem, and made it about 20 meters before he collapsed in the middle of an abandoned alleyway, as he curled into a ball at the flaring pain in his body. It had taken about five minutes—though it felt like an eternity for Jongdae—for the pain to finally die down, enough that he’d be able to power-walk home, all while ignoring his throbbing arm and the constant feeling that someone was staring at him.

          Somehow, he had managed to will it out until he had put away all his groceries before he finally caved into the exhaustion in a heap on the couch in the cabin’s small living room space. As soon as he did collapse, however, it felt as though he’d never be able to get up again. The soft, slightly spring-y cushions of the couch were tempting him, pulling him down into their depths as he sunk into the softness without a second thought. He just laid there, staring up at the ceiling without a single thought ading his exhausted mind. It was as though the pain from before had not only numbed him physically, but also mentally, as he found himself unable to concentrate on any one thing, instead just laying there blankly with unfocused eyes and heavy limbs.

          Finally, once he did manage to haul himself, he pulled out his phone, only to realize he had laid there for nearly an hour, and that it was nearly 7 p.m. They were getting closer and closer to winter, so that only meant that the sun would set earlier in the day than usual, and, more importantly, that the full moon would have already been out by now. Sighing, he stood up, stepping over to the kitchen lethargically as he felt pangs of hunger hit him. It was far too early for dinner, by his standards, but he hadn’t eaten lunch, and after all the pain he had just dealt with, he felt like he deserved at least a little bit of a snack.

          As he made his food (a sandwich— simple, but filling enough for him to last until later, when he’d make a proper dinner), he felt uneasiness hit him, but this was far from unexpected or unbearable. It was just what he’d feel every month, when the full moon would start to raise. First, some uneasiness, and possibly some nausea, if it was a particularly bad month. Then, an excessive amount of adrenaline-fuelled energy. Then, a stabbing ache in his core as he refused to give in to the temptation to turn, as well as a minor headache. And finally, a full-blown migraine, as well as just complete exhaustion.

          He wasn’t really looking forward to dealing with all that, but after everything that had happened last month, as well as the big drama he made back at the house with the EXO pack, he wasn’t going to give in to the temptation and shift. He could handle it; he done so for years now, and even if he’d indulged himself a little last month, that didn’t mean he couldn’t go back to his regular pattern.

          As he sat down and ate, with some random variety show playing on the TV that he really wasn’t paying attention to, Jongdae thought about the others, particularly Baekhyun. He hadn’t talked much to the boy since he left, only sending a couple of reassuring texts about how ‘yes, he reached the cabin fine,’ and ‘yes he’d be coming back as soon as possible’ and, of course, ‘no this wasn’t because he was annoyed at Baekhyun for stealing a part of his kimchijjigae.’ Jongdae found it almost cute how much his best friend was worrying about him, though he figured the man had practically conditioned himself to feel that way, since he was practically always the one getting the half-breed boy out of difficult—and possibly fatal—situations for the years they’d known each other. Unwittingly, Jongdae had basically instilled a protective instinct in the ex-rogue wolf, and it didn’t look like it was an impulse that was going away any time soon.

          At that moment, Jongdae could’ve almost called out ‘speak of the devil’ because just seconds after he had finished cleaning his plate, his phone dinged, sounding a text message from, as Jongdae quickly found out, Baekhyun. That was a little joke he didn’t get to crack, however, as he read the contents of the message with panicked eyes.

          Despite the circumstances, Jongdae couldn’t help but feel a little bit of pride well up in him. He was impressed, both at how well Baekhyun sensed the danger, and at how much the boy managed to hold himself back from shifting just so he could send a warning text message. Because if he had been even a minute slower, or, worse, if he had not even sent the message, Jongdae was sure he would’ve been dead by now.

          But here he was now, running for his life as he tried to keep his conscious mind active despite the beams of the full moon trying to draw out all of his primitive instincts and urges.

          Ten minutes of running later, he was able to tell who it was: it was that pack from last month, and apparently, they were coming back with a vengeance. He figured Baekhyun was let off since he was official EXO pack now, but Jongdae knew that they’d be able to tell he wasn’t yet. He cursed inwardly and ran faster, ignoring the branches scratching his skin through his fur and the sharper stones trying to prick his paws. He couldn’t pay attention to the smaller pains now; he needed to get out of this alive, and if he got a few minor injuries in the process, that’d be fine, and he could ask Yixing to heal them later.

          Except it didn’t seem like luck was on his side that night, because just as he found himself getting closer and closer to the EXO pack boundaries, he was tripping, a thick overgrown tree root catching onto one of his hind feet and sending him tumbling into the trunk of said tree. He picked himself up as quickly as he could in his half-dazed, semi-cognizant state, but it was too late. He could already feel himself being surrounded on all ends, and he knew trying to run off now would be no help.

          If he wanted to survive, he had to fight his way through.

          Soon enough, other wolves came into the clearing—some familiar, some not, but all deadly-looking. A whimper involuntarily left his throat as one very familiar wolf came into view. With bristling black fur, rough to the touch and to just look at even, with messy, pointed canines dripping gracelessly with drool and what looked and smelled like deer blood, with narrowed, endlessly black eyes flickering in rage, in smugness, in bloodlust, stood the pack Alpha.

          And boy, was he mad.  

          Jongdae was sure that if they weren’t in the middle of the full moon, the man would immediately turn into his human form just to start gloating before he slowly tortured the half-breed until he begged for death. This time, however, the man had no such control, and it didn’t seem like he was willing to wait even a second before he pounced for a quick kill.

          Which he did just a second later.

          Jongdae barely managed to avoid the charge at his front and back, but he hissed as he felt claws scrapping at his side. It wasn’t deep or painful as much as it was a warning, of showing exactly how he would be hit later. He somehow managed to count up to six wolves all around him, though his thoughts primarily focused on the Alpha, who was standing right between him and EXO pack lands, where he would be safe.

          Another charge, and while Jongdae got hit with a large claw swipe to his face and someone grinding their foot into his tail, he managed to throw some blows back, biting one smaller, Omega wolf hard enough to pierce its air-pipes, and shoving a clawed paw at one of the Betas right in front of its heart. He cried out when one bit his ear, but he fought back by shoving his weight into the other wolf, throwing it off balance and giving him the chance to run his claws down the other’s ribcage.

          He had no such luck when the Alpha pounced once more, however, as the larger wolf threw his entire weight into Jongdae, knocking the half-breed into a tree before chomping down harshly on the side of his neck to weaken him. Jongdae squirmed under the bite, barely managing to weakly shove the wolf off him as he ran off in the direction of the house. Barely 20 paces later, however, he was tackled again, pinned down onto his stomach by a great force on top of him. The bite on his neck was back, now on the other side of his throat, and he could already feel some of his bones and internal organs being damaged from the weight of the Alpha on top of him. By now, he was breathing heavily, little whimpers and sobs of pain leaving his throat as he squirmed around and tried to, somehow, throw the heavy wolf off him. He failed, unsurprisingly, and as he slowly felt something in him begin to crack, he fell to instinct, and did something he’d never expect to do.

          He howled.

          Howled out to the forest, to the moon, to the world—to anyone who may have been listening. It was a long-shot, but it was his primal last resort, his final showing of weakness before he was either saved, or killed. As though realizing the resignation Jongdae was feeling, to show such weakness and desperation, the Alpha above him growled, his bite deepening and his claws sinking into his skin with little fault. Jongdae, already expecting his death to be upon him, shut his eyes, only hoping, with the slight consciousness his human side still had, that it would be done as quick as possible.

          Yet, a second later, death was not what was upon him, and neither was any sort of torture.

          Before he could even realize what was happening, the Alpha on top of him was being shoved off, the wolf’s teeth and claws detaching from Jongdae’s skin as he went tumbling over. Growls and barks and more were surrounding the area around Jongdae, but the boy could barely look up to see his attacker being beaten into a pulp by another wolf, one just about Jongdae’s size and build, but with more power, and most definitely with more rage. Yet, the injured wolf felt a draw to this newcomer, not only because it had saved him and, apparently, brought the rest of its pack to help out. There was just something about this wolf that made Jongdae, injured and all, want to nuzzle his head into its jaw and behind its ears.

          His eyes, drooped as they were from exhaustion and pain, widened as he realized that this wolf, this newcomer, this savior, was none other than Minseok.

          He stared in unhidden awe as he saw his soul mate pound into the wolf with savage strength and no hesitation, and he could tell, without even having to look, that other members of the pack chasing Jongdae were getting similar treatment. He had already known that the EXO pack, despite their generally pacifistic attitudes towards other packs, were strong—strong enough to take out the massive pack which had ruled Seoul before them—but to see it up close was an entirely different thing. Even in his only partially mindful state, Jongdae couldn’t help but stare as Minseok, despite being only a Beta, practically destroyed the Alpha man, sinking his claws and canines into him deep enough to, literally, tear him apart, limb from limb. His human consciousness felt revolted, disgusted, traumatized, as it wanted to stop his soul mate and make him end the torturous killing spree. But at the same time, his wolf side took pride in it, practically glowing as it saw his soul mate in such a powerful position, making it practically drool in desire as the mark on his forelimb shot bolts of ecstasy through him.

          Yet, as quickly as it began, it had ended, and before Jongdae could even realize it, there was silence surrounding him. He couldn’t think much longer on it, however, as exhaustion and pain caught up to him. His body, unable to maintain his wolf form any longer, shifted back into his human form, and he panted heavily as his eyelids began to droop once more. He whimpered softly as he felt a muzzle nudge him gently, and he tried to focus on the softness of the action, rather than the very obvious, red moistness of the jaw.

          The last thing he noticed, before he found himself hiked up on Minseok’s back, was the very familiar outline of a building, off to the corner, far away from them in the large clearing. As he noticed this, he couldn’t help but smile ever-so-slightly, ignoring the slight pain it brought him.

          He’d made it home after all.

----

          Jongdae wondered if Yixing actually had magical powers (besides, y’know, the whole ‘being a wolf’ thing), because it really didn’t seem logical for him to feel as good and healthy as he did after being completely pounded and beaten to a pulp. A sense of déjà-vu was hitting him strong, as he remembered the first time he had nearly died in front of the EXO pack, only to end up in this room, bandaged up and all back to normal, as though nothing had happened in the first place.

          With a little bit of struggle, he sat himself up, his mind still a little dazed from unconsciousness as he looked around to find Yixing and talk to the boy.

          Only it wasn’t Yixing there with him.

          “­M-Minseok hyung?” he croaked, his breath hitching when the man looked over at him with a smile.

          “Oh goodie, you’re awake,” Minseok said smoothly, before sitting up from his seat next to Jongdae’s bed and turning towards the door. “I’ll go tell Yixing.”

          Jongdae figured there was something about Minseok’s presence that made him lose his inhibitions. Whether it was because of the man himself, or something about their bond, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that whenever his soul mate was in involved, he found himself acting a little… impulsively.

          And well, he figured shooting up to the edge of the bed to grab Minseok’s arm would probably count as impulsive.

          Probably.

          “…Jongdae…?” The half-breed boy’s face burned when he realized what he just done, but he didn’t let go, not even when Minseok had stepped closer to him, to the point where the older man was practically hovering over him. Seemingly noticing the half-breed boy’s tension, Minseok raised his free hand to pat the younger boy’s head, and if Jongdae was even a smidgen less self-aware, he probably would’ve started purring into the touch.

          But he was better than that, had more control than that, so he sat up straight, letting go of Minseok’s wrist as he tried to regain even a shred of his dignity before speaking.

          “Hyung,” he said, not really sure where he wanted to go with this, before swallowing the dry gulp in his mouth and continuing. “I want us to talk… please.” Minseok raised an eyebrow, but as he saw Jongdae’s slightly downcast eyes, he sighed, using his foot to bring over the chair from before and sitting himself down on it, right in front of the other boy.

          “So talk,” Minseok prompted, seemingly frustrated when Jongdae wouldn’t meet his eyes.

          “I…” the younger began, his voice more hesitant that it had ever been. “I need to know: what are we, hyung? Are we just acquaintances? Are we friends? Are we lovers? What are we? We have this bond,” he wildly flailed his wrist with the mark on it as a gesture to it, “but we act nothing like soul mates. I don’t get it. They say your soul mate is the one destined to be your mate forever and on, yet we act like nothing more than a couple of buddies who happen to have the same friends. Would you have preferred if I mentioned it first? Should I have taken the initiative? Do you even want to mate with me? Do you dislike the idea of mating with me? Would you prefer to be with someone else, someone you’ve known for longer, like L-Luhan hyung? Or maybe with a g-girl? Or at least, someone who isn’t just a random half-breed who was… basically… p-picked off of the s-streets? I’d get it, I’d understand, b-but just… can’t you tell m-me, at l-least?”

          He hiccupped slightly, a single tear rolling down his cheek silently. He wasn’t the type of person to fall into crying that easily, but he was tired, god dammit. All of pain—emotional, mental, physical—he’d faced over the years, and all of the confusion he’d faced in just this past month: it was just too much for him to handle at this point. He told himself he’d be calm and collected when he had this talk with Minseok, but now, more than anything, he felt piles of emotions bundling its way up into his heart, as he clutched the bed sheets besides him tightly. He was confused, he was tired, and he was done. Done with not knowing what to do and when to do it, how to act and all of that. He just wanted to answers he knew he deserved—nothing more, and nothing less.

          His little hiccups turned into louder sobs as arms wrapped around him, and he felt a slight wetness making its way onto his bare shoulder as well.

          “Oh Jongdae,” Minseok cooed, his words slightly muffled but understandable all the same, and he the younger boy’s hair lightly as he embraced the boy tightly. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. I never wanted to hurt you so. God, I’d always told myself, when I found my soul mate, I wouldn’t pull a Kris, but just look what I did.” When Jongdae made a noise of confusion through his sobs, Minseok explained. “I’m so sorry, Jongdae. I wanted to give you s-space, to let you get used to things, b-but I… I ended up hurting you. I f-failed as your future mate… oh g-god, I’m so… so s-sorry, Jongdae.”

          The half-breed boy sniffled, his breath coming out in light pants as he listened to Minseok’s words. Did that mean… Minseok… actually did…?

          As though reading his mind, Minseok pulled back—Jongdae took note of his glistening eyes and sweet smile—and spoke once more, “I just… I never knew how to express how I felt. I always worried that I’d end up smothering you—you, who had never truly gotten to enjoy being in a pack, considering your birth status. I didn’t want to seem overbearing or suffocating just as you were making friends, but before I realized it, I ended up on the entirely opposite end of the spectrum—being overly friendly and emotionally detached. I only realized later, to the point where I wasn’t sure how to approach you about it. I’d see you all over, having fun with Baekhyun, or swimming with Joonmyeon, or singing with Yixing, or messing about with those people in the grocery store, and my wolf would be screaming at me, in possessive urge, to jump in right away, to steal you away from everyone and hide you forever, but my reasonable side would forcibly push those thoughts away, to the point where I would force myself to be detached.

          “I do want to mate you Jongdae; I care for you so much, and even if it may seem a bit early to say it, I do truly love you. That may be the mark talking, but there’s nothing more I want to do than cuddle you and protect you and hold you forever, and if that’s not at least some form of love, then I don’t know what is. It may not be an ‘in love’ yet, but please, never think I don’t care for you endlessly. ”

          By now Minseok was wiping Jongdae’s damp cheeks, pushing away any stray tears with the brush of his thumb, but the half-breed, though having heard the entire thing, just had to point out one specific part.

          “Wait…” he started, his voice still a little cracked from the crying. “How did you know about the grocery store?” It was Minseok’s turn to be embarrassed, as his cheeks flared red immediately at the question, and it was only when the older boy shot him a sheepish smile did Jongdae realize just how. “Were you following me?! And the one making this mark hurt so much?!”

          “Uhm… I blame wolf instinct?” Minseok replied with such guilt, that Jongdae couldn’t stay mad, as he burst out into laughter, falling into the older man’s abdomen in his fit.

          “Oh my god; that’s so cliché!” he exclaimed between snickers, and Minseok pouted a little, but still his soul mate’s head nonetheless.

          “Oh hush you,” he shot back, but there was no malice in it; instead, there was only fondness, tinged with a little bit of embarrassment. They stayed like that for a little while, Jongdae desperately gripping Minseok’s shirt as he roared with laughter, and Minseok staying silent to keep from embarrassing himself any further.

          Though it was only a few minutes, it felt like hours had passed until Jongdae had finally calmed down, using one hand to wipe away a couple of laughter-caused tears that had built themselves up in his tear ducts. Finally, he looked back up at the older boy, who was far from annoyed. Instead, he looked down at Jongdae with that sweet, relaxed smile that he always had, as his hand never left his soul mate’s hair.

          “So,” Jongdae said, his tone lightly teasing, “what now?” Minseok blinked at the question, before letting out a chuckle of his own.

          “Now,” he replied, and a glimmer of excitement flashed in his eyes as he looked down at the younger boy, “we get Kyungsoo to make some food for you, because you’ve been out cold for two days.” Jongdae almost pouted, but the action was cut short when Minseok leaned down leaned down to press a small kiss on his forehead. “After all, we can’t have you collapsing in hunger when I take you out on a date later today, now can we?” Jongdae grinned, and as Minseok helped him to stand up and led him to the door, the half-breed boy could only think one thing.

          Hey Dad, it’s like you said; I’ve found a place to belong after all.

cheesy as ending bc why not

im so sorry this took so long to update, a lot of things have been happening to me lately that maybe i'll talk about more in a blog post or something idk hopefully you still enjoyed this! not marking this as complete just yet though, since there's still the epilogue (coughcough) do add in but this is the end of the main story basically! the epilogue will hopefully be done soon so look forward to that i guess?
anyways sorry again for taking so long to update and all but hopefully you enjoyed it! As always, happy reading <3