Chapter 1
To Belong Many people would—albeit reluctantly—admit that Jongdae had a pretty ty life, and the boy unabashedly would agree with them, up until the part where they’d say how much he deserved it all because of the ”disgusting piece of filth he was.” Surprisingly enough, Jongdae actually had a decent amount of self-esteem and dignity, and didn’t believe he was complete like everyone around him always did. Maybe it was because of how the few people he was close to growing up instilled a sense of self-love in him, or maybe it was just because of his personality, but he just never found himself breaking down and hating himself because of who he was—or really, what he was.
But what was he, exactly? He was said to be a lot of things—a blessing, a curse, a monster, a freak, a source of intrigue, an experiment, a scoundrel, a , a moron, a retard, an abomination, a mistake. But really, out of everything he “was,” there was only one thing that he factually, without a doubt, was: a werewolf half-breed.
Yes, born to a human mother and a werewolf, Jongdae was part of the minority—the very, very, very small minority. As in, there were probably like, 10 of his kind in the entire world of werewolves. Or at least, that’s what it always felt like, but Jongdae never really got any statistics or like that. Either way, he knew that, until the past few centuries or so, half-breeds were pretty much nonexistent, but well, apparently more modern-day wolves have been—ahem—getting funky with it more, and well, people like Jongdae were the results. It wasn’t a fun life, being hated by everyone, but he made it work, trying to take advantage of the human-like control he had over his wolf-like strength and abilities. What didn’t kill him (literally) would make him stronger, right?
Still, he had to admit, he really didn’t appreciate packs constantly trying to kill him or torture him every time they found out what he was.
“Oi, Baek, you here?” Jongdae called out as he pushed open the creaky front door. The cabin was small, falling apart as it was abandoned years ago, but the person living inside it now still managed to make it feel homey, in a way.
“In the kitchen!” another male called out distantly, and Jongdae followed the voice to find his best friend messing around over the stove.
“Make sure not to burn anything,” Jongdae warned teasingly as he set his bag down on the small dining table, and the other man turned to stick his tongue out at him.
“I can handle making tea, thank you very much,” the man shot back snarkily, and Jongdae chuckled at the response.
Byun Baekhyun—a master of sass, eyeliner, and puppy-dog pouts, a rogue wolf, and Jongdae’s self-proclaimed-and-begrudgingly-accepted best friend. The half-breed had met the man about five years ago, back when he was on the run from the pack his father had led before he died. Growing up, Jongdae was forced to live in the wolf world, because his mother had died at his birth and his father was the Alpha of his pack, and the only thing that had been protecting him was his father’s status. So when the man died untimely in a horrible pack feud when Jongdae was 12, there was little to nothing stopping other pack members, as well as anyone in general who abhorred his very existence, to come after him, with claws and all.
Back then, he’d been constantly on the run, going from place to place to try and avoid getting murdered. He’d tried at one point to try and assimilate himself back into human culture, seeing as he had to funds from his family’s inheritances to get by decently enough, and thinking that the packs would leave him alone if he was surrounded by humans. They never gave up the chases, though, and Jongdae often found himself sitting in bed at night, paranoid that someone was going to jump him while he slept because he was alone and vulnerable. Getting close to humans didn’t work well, either, seeing as Jongdae had been raised surrounded by wolves, and the customs were just so different. It really felt he had nowhere to go, no place safe to relax, no location where he could stay and not get killed.
Eventually, he managed to stumble into the capital of the country, Seoul. How exactly, he wasn’t 100% sure. Yeah, he had found himself going between cities plenty of times before, but often times those were just towns in countryside areas and such. Even the few cities he’d be in weren’t nearly as big as the capital itself. Apparently, though, over the course of four years, his staggering around from his birthplace, Siheung, all over the province, had managed to land him in the big city.
And that was when he met Baekhyun.
----
. ing ity .
They had gotten him good this time, hitting him right when he didn’t expect it. He should’ve known, not to stay around in the same place for so long. It was a cycle really, albeit a hazardous one; he’d go to a town, and things would start out alright, but eventually, he’d be found, and they’d come for him.
He had been running through the forest for hours, trying to avoid the pack from Uijeongbu was on his tail. Luckily, it seems as though those old geezers had given up miles ago, though he wasn’t going to stop running until he absolutely had to. They may have stopped, but who knew who had caught on along the way. After all, primal instincts told the wolves within them—even within Jongdae, no matter how faint the feeling was—to join and enjoy the chase, no matter who it’s for.
He hadn’t been sure where he was going—once the chase had begun, he just ran in a random direction and hoped for the best—but he found himself having to slow down as trees slowly began to thin out and bright lights caught his eyes among the darkness of nighttime. Slowly, as he examined his surroundings and deemed everything safe, he turned back into his human form, wincing as the action opened up one of the many cuts on his body. It was okay, he told himself—he had dealt with worse before, he could handle this.
There was a clearing not too far from where he was, so, hoping he’d be able to see more of the beaming lights and figure out where he was, he stepped out. Unfortunately, his body had been exhausted between the fights and the chase, so before he could go very far, he found his legs giving up on him as he sunk to the ground on his knees, clutching at his stomach as he whimpered in pain. Every piece of his mind was telling him to get up, to stand, to flee before he could get caught, and to rush to find someone to help him. But his body couldn’t cooperate, too weak and too injured to even consider moving a single centimeter.
Suddenly, he felt a presence, and a strong one at that. He rapidly tried to figure out what it was, where it was coming from, and from how many people. It was most definitely a wolf presence, not too far from where he was, but, even though the presence was quite strong, he could only sense… one…?
He tensed as the wolf came closer, and he desperately tried to move his body to escape. On wobbly legs, he stood, his fingers shaking in anticipation and fear as he waddled around trying to move. But it was no use. After just a few more steps, he collapsed once more, falling forward as his body couldn’t support him anymore. He shut his eyes and stuck out trembling arms to try and brace the fall, preparing for the worst as he pathetically plummeted to the ground as this new enemy came to kill him.
Yet, rather than falling face-first and getting a mouth-full of dirt, he found himself hovering in mid-descent.
Well, not really hovering. Instead, an arm was wrapped around his waist, holding him back and hoisting him back up onto his two feet. The arm eventually left his waist, only to go to his shoulders, where another hand joined in on turning him around entirely, only to face a young boy just around his age.
“, you’re in bad shape,” the boy cursed as he stared down at the one in front of him. The battered boy blinked, his body refusing to stop quivering, but his mind racing with a million questions and more. Suddenly, the boy was turning around and shifting, his clothes ripping off his body as he turned into his full wolf form without a single word.
Well, at least he had been right about the presence being a wolf’s one.
‘Get on.’
The injured one jumped slightly, before realizing it was just the wolf telepathy. Before he could even try to protest, he found his knees starting to buckle under him and the command being repeated. Despite his confusion, his fear, his instincts telling him to run and never look back, he found himself stepping towards the wolf.
He barely had the chance to gracelessly fall onto the werewolf’s back before they were speeding off deeper into the forest, away from the precious lights.
{…}
“Ah, so the half-breed is finally awake.”
He wasn’t sure what he had expected to wake up to—perhaps he hadn’t expected to wake up at all, seeing as how he was near death just before—but this certainly wasn’t it. Lying in a comfortable bed, in a room filled with warm, yellowish light, hardwood walls, and central heating. Birds happily chirping in the distance, the sun slowly rising, and no packs coming to kill him.
Though, at the moment, he felt as though he could take anything that came to him. Nearly all of his injuries seemed to be completely healed, and it appeared he had slept more this past night than every night this past month combined. He could still feel some minor pain around his joints and head, but besides that, he was entirely refreshed, if not a bit hungry and thirsty.
That was when something struck him.
“Who…w-who the are you?” he snapped, his voice croaking slightly at the beginning from lack of usage. “Where am I? And you can tell I’m a half-breed?” The man, who seemed vaguely familiar, rolled his eyes at the questions.
“I, Sleeping Beauty, am Byun Baekhyun,” the man introduced, with a mock-bow to top it all off, before adding, “A.k.a the person who saved your sorry , I’ll have you know. We’re in my cabin right now, and really, dude, really? ‘You can tell I’m a half-breed?’ Your scent practically poured out of you with your blood. Now, anymore questions? Or will you actually tell me who you are and why the you were dying 50 meters away from my place.” The boy looked down, staring at the sheets covering his legs as he thought.
“Why didn’t you kill me if you knew?” he asked softly, not sure if he wanted to hear the reply.
“Why would I?” Baekhyun shot back.
“I’m a half-breed.”
“And I’m a rogue—yay, we can be outcasts together!” Baekhyun cheered sarcastically, stopping when he noticed the seriousness on the other’s face. “…is that why you were so badly injured?” The boy nodded.
“My old pack from Uijeongbu found me this time, and their Alpha said he’d generously award the person who managed to kill me and bring back my head,” he said bitterly, and Baekhyun sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration.
“Seriously? Those provincial packs can be pretty brutal, can’t they,” the rogue wolf commented, walking towards the other boy and sitting on the side of his bed. “Look, you’re in the Seoul area now.” the injured boy’s eyes widened at the information, but Baekhyun continued, “I’m guessing you haven’t been here before, seeing as how lost you seemed before and how surprised you are now. But trust me, you’re safer here. Seoul’s a big city; packs are spread much thinner around the area here. You won’t get three or four packs within the same region like you would in, say, Migum. B’sides, those who are here actually prefer to try working with humans. Not all of them, but many packs’ members will get jobs in the city and whatnot just for the sake of doing it. You won’t get too many of them picking up on your human side easily, since they’re so used to the scent of humans anyway.
“And even more so, the packs around here are… tolerant, more or less. Or more, they don’t bother with other people’s business that much. They’re too close to the city to really cause much trouble, and in these parts, the motto tends to be: ‘if they don’t pee on your land or they don’t your Omegas, then they have nothing to do with you.’ A bit isolationist, I know, but it works for them. That’s why you see so many rogues here; because no one here will kill you for not being part of a pack.”
The injured boy sat in silence as he tried to take in all this information. He’d heard things about Seoul, about the packs here, but most of the time it was from the disgusted sneers of his dad’s old pack saying stuff about how ‘they’re just a bunch of softies in Seoul’ and whatnot. Still, all this seemed a bit too nice.
Baekhyun sighed, guessing the boy’s thoughts, before continuing, “I’m not saying you won’t get any trouble; there are plenty of bad apples in the cupboard, so to speak. But I can say, that since the EXO pack took power a while back, things have been getting increasingly better around these parts, for everyone.”
“The EXO pack?” the injured one asked in curiosity.
“They run these parts, and not only that, but it looks like their reach goes international too. Their Alpha’s a tough one, with pack-leader parents back in China, lots of influence in Canada, and just generally some of the best leadership skills I’ve seen in a long time. Their pack’s the ones who have really been pushing for the whole ‘integration with humans’ thing, and well, it’s been working damn fine. As long as they’re around, you should be alright.”
“So,” Baekhyun continued after giving the other boy a few minutes to think. “I’ve given you lots of information—now what are you going to do with it? Run off out of fear, doubt, and distrust, into more and more chaos, or stick around for a bit and finally tell me your name.”
The boy looked away, narrowing his eyes and staring off into space as he pondered his options. While everything the man said sounded nice, how could he be sure everything that he said was right? He’s been lied to before, lied to, deceived, cheated, and more. This man could be doing the same. What would his aims be though? If he really was a rogue, he probably wouldn’t care what some little half-breed was doing with their time, seeing as rogues had it hard enough in their lives trying to survive. Plus, Baekhyun took the time to save and heal him… would he do that if he were trying to kill him? It could be a trick, but it’d be quite an elaborate one…Sighing, the injured boy took a quick glance over Baekhyun, only to see the man patiently watching him and smirking at him with an eyebrow raised in amusement when he noticed the glance. There was something in his eyes, a fierce sort of emotion that he wasn’t showing on the rest of his face, that surprised the half-breed boy, but not in an unpleasant way…
“…Kim Jongdae; now don’t wear it out, weirdo.”
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“Have you decided where you’re going to go for the full moon?” Jongdae questioned as he sipped his tea. Baekhyun shrugged.
“Probably just the same place as last time,” the boy responded. “Good place to completely lose it without actually harming anyone or screwing myself over.” Jongdae nodded in understanding.
One of the most difficult parts of werewolf-hood, while trying to stay away from the human eye, would have to be the full moon. It was a time of the month where they’d lose control of their inner wolf, going on an entire rampage around the area while letting any bloodlust or regular lust they had break free. For many, it was a relaxing experience, as they allowed the impatient, vicious wolves within them take control for a bit, so that once the full moon was over, they’d be free to return to regular life, whether it be with the humans or not.
Baekhyun, being someone who was constantly interacting with humans from his part-time music teaching job, took the full moons quite seriously, knowing that he’d need to get out all those primal urges and feelings so he wouldn’t turn that energy against his students (God knows what the humans would do if they found out about their existence). Usually, the rogue would hang around in the same spot during the full moon: a deserted riverbed about 100 meters away from this cabin, where no packs seemed to take ground, far enough out of the way that random humans wouldn’t pass by, but still seasoned with some wildlife in case Baekhyun felt the need to hunt.
“Are you coming with?” Baekhyun questioned, and the other boy rolled his eyes.
Jongdae, on the other hand, rarely joined him. Seeing as he was a half-breed, and only really a quarter wolf, for all intents and purposes, the urge to strike out during the full moon didn’t affect him as much. He’d get jittery, and if he’s around humans, he’d be a bit tempted to give into his wolf’s violent urges, but most of the time, as long as he stayed up in the cabin and out of reach, he’d be alright.
“C’mon, Baek, I don’t need to go; I’ll be fine,” he replied, but his best friend still seemed concerned.
“I know the urge is lessened for you, ‘Dae, but it’s still not good to just ignore it all the time,” Baekhyun pressed, uncharacteristic worry filling his voice. “You haven’t gone out for the full moon in nearly a year, and you rarely, if ever, let your wolf out on other days.”
“It’s just because I don’t need to.”
“You say that, but you’ve been ridiculously irritated lately.”
“I have not,” Jongdae retorted with a scoff, though it was half-hearted.
To be honest, he knew where Baekhyun was going with this, and part of him really wanted to agree. It really wasn’t healthy or good for him to be keeping it in like this, but at the same time… he was scared. He had always been more human than wolf, but that other part of him still always existed, and it kinda frightened him, if he was honest. For him, control and all, to let himself lose his mind and soul to the call of the full moon, to all his primal instincts and animal behavior, would that change him? He remembered, the last time he let out his wolf during the full moon, it had taken so much from him, mentally— so much focus, so much willpower, so much desire— to make himself shift back and return to his normal life. The pull to continue as the savage beast inside him was always so strong, it intimidated him, but also, tempted him.
“I…” Jongdae started when Baekhyun continued to stare at him pressingly. “I… I’ll think about it.” His best friend seemed pleased at that answer, smiling and nodding to himself before switching topics.
Jongdae sighed and wondered what exactly he had just gotten himself into.
i s2g so many of my fics lately ive been planning to make as one or two shots
but then i keep writing and then suddenly its like ‘whoops youre at 20k words now’
aaaaaaanyways, here's the first chapter! more just some background on Jongdae and everything, but the drama will soon come~
If you enjoyed reading this, or have a question/concern, make sure to let me know in the comments below, and I'll answer them as soon as possible. Happy reading! <3
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