Another three weeks later, and Jongdae wasn’t feeling any more comfortable about the whole pack thing. Part of him just desperately wanted to complain about it to someone, or to at least let his thoughts out, but it wasn’t like he could just tell the pack straight up; he knew they were all trying their bests to make him feel included, and he didn’t want to hurt their feelings. He couldn’t even really rant to Baekhyun now, either. Not like he wasn’t close with the other boy anymore—that wasn’t it at all. It was just… the ex-rogue just seemed so comfortable and so close with the pack now, and it just didn’t feel right for Jongdae to go in and start complaining about them to Baekhyun when, in reality, the boy probably thought of the pack as family now.

 

On a more positive note, though, Jongdae had slowly found himself becoming closer and closer to Joonmyeon and, through him, Yixing. The half-breed boy often found himself hanging out with the pair, singing with Joonmyeon while Yixing played guitar, or going on runs or swims with them, or just generally being with them. The two never seemed to mind, always willing to accept him into whatever they were doing when they felt like he wasn’t doing enough. Jongdae still never really entirely opened up to them about how he was feeling, but they stopped pressing the matter too much, only watching over him and occasionally reminding him that they were there to listen if he ever needed it.

 

Still, Jongdae tried his best to avoid spending too much time with them. Not because they were bothering him or because he didn’t want to, of course; they were wonderful to be around, and always so open to everything. But more than anything, he knew, despite what they might’ve said, that they needed time to themselves. They spent so much time trying to dote on him, but they were still mates, and they still needed to be around each other and have their quality one-on-one time together. Jongdae couldn’t bear to intrude on that, especially the closer and closer they inched to the full moon, where instinctual desires, like those for one’s mate, grew stronger and stronger. He was satisfied with only hanging out with them sometimes, and leaving them to each other for the rest; it was adorable, after all, to see how absorbed they were in each other.

 

Now if only Jongdae could say that for his own supposed mate-to-be and him.

 

Over four, nearly five weeks had passed since they first joined the pack (though Jongdae had yet to go through the pack rituals yet for it to become official), yet it felt like nothing had changed between the half-breed and his soul mate. Besides that little… incident, as Jongdae would call it, nothing even remotely interesting had happened between him and Minseok. There was still that casual, kind of awkward vibe with them, where the older man would just treat him as a regular friend, chatting with him, and playing with him from time-to-time, but never actually trying to get close to him, let alone intimate. At first, Jongdae had thought that perhaps, it was him who was supposed to make the first move, but that didn’t make much sense. Both of them were Betas (even if it was much less noticeable in Jongdae), so it wasn’t like ranking would be a problem. And anyway, wasn’t it expected that whoever bore the mark first had to be the one to go about all the courtship procedures? Sure, Jongdae never really paid that much attention to the legends when his dad told him about it, but at least he listened to some of it—enough to know that Minseok’s behavior was entirely odd.

 

Maybe the older man just didn’t want to become mates with him? It was understandable, really: not wanting to commit yourself to only one partner (a half-breed no less) just because it was supposedly destined. It wasn’t like they had to become mates… probably. Jongdae hadn’t really been having any physical problems with the lack of interaction between them, save for the stinging feeling he’d get in his wrist every so often. Besides, most of the time, those stings would just be uncomfortable and slightly painful pricks. The only time it really became a problem had been last week; the mark had suddenly started burning excessively while he was out for one of his morning swims with Yixing and Joonmyeon, though the feeling faded almost immediately after he had writhed around for a little bit. It was annoying, yes, but nothing awful or life-threatening in anyway, like some of the legends would say.

 

Still, even if he didn’t necessarily mind the lack of interaction between him and Minseok, he wished the older boy would actually try to talk to him about it. Their ‘bond’ was really the only thing keeping Jongdae by the pack officially, and if the older boy didn’t want to keep it, then Jongdae should be on his merry way out. After all, a pack came with so many extra conditions and responsibilities that he wasn’t really sure if he wanted to take on without a good reason (besides just the ‘I’m friends with them’ excuse). He’d survive well enough, hanging around Baekhyun’s cabin and staying out of harm’s reach, visiting his best friend every so often if the pack allowed. Maybe he could even take on a different job, something other than that ty full-time restaurant job he had quit as soon as he started living with the EXO pack. Maybe he could take on a music-based job, like Baekhyun had before he quit. Oh, and maybe he could do singing lessons again, or learn an instrument, or do some online college courses, or—

 

“Jongdae?” A knock on the door accompanied the muffled voice, and the half-breed boy sat up on his bed in response, setting the book he had been absently flipping through down, off to the side.

 

“Yeah?” he called back, and the door opened to reveal Joonmyeon.

 

“Kris called for a meeting, didn’t you hear?” the older boy asked, brows furrowed in confusion and concern.

 

Jongdae had, in fact, heard the call, but he chose to silently ignore it, hoping that if he didn’t respond in any way, they would just move and conduct the meeting without him. It wasn’t like they really needed him around; he wasn’t an official member of the pack, so he shouldn’t even be part of the meetings, really.

 

Still, he didn’t say all that, and, knowing that there’d be no way to get out of it now, instead just played it off with a simple, “Oh, I didn’t hear. I’ll come down now.”

 

 So he walked down with Joonmyeon, into the large living room where the rest of the pack was already seated. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were sitting on a couch off to the side and, unsurprisingly, bothering Kyungsoo, who was sat in between them, the poor soul. Jongin was trying to help Kyungsoo out in vain, while Lu Han and Minseok (goddammit it’s been four weeks he should not still be shivering hearing that name) watched on in quiet amusement on a two-seater next to them. Yixing was sitting on the floor besides the pair, and the healer looked like he was about to fall asleep right then and there. Sehun, who was sat besides Yixing, and Zitao, who was on a loveseat cuddled up next to Kris, were whispering about something like gossiping children, while the pack leader just stared at the scene passively.

 

It was only when Jongdae and Joonmyeon came closer did Kris do anything, holding up a hand to hush everyone, while using his other to gesture to the pair to sit down. They did, with Joonmyeon going over to sit by his lover, and Jongdae sitting on the floor in front of Baekhyun, who started absently playing with his hair.

 

The meeting itself seemed relatively uneventful as it began, Jongdae noticed. Most of it was just giving information about neighboring packs, checking in on everyone (particularly Sehun, who had been extremely sick until lately), and other general procedural-type things. None of it really pertained to Jongdae in particular at all, actually, and as a result, the boy slowly found himself spacing out, his eyes dazed as he started to lose himself in his thoughts…

 

“…dae. Jongdae?” Well, that didn’t last long. The half-breed boy looked up to see Kris staring down at him in a mix of confusion, concern, and questioning, but the boy didn’t address it, only putting on a small smile and responding quickly.

 

“Yeah?” he hummed, and he could practically feel Baekhyun rolling his eyes at him.

 

“Are you okay, hyung?” Jongin piped up, head tilted slightly in confusion. “You’ve been spacing out a lot lately.”

 

“Jongdae just doesn’t have the capacity to pay attention for more than two seconds,” Baekhyun chirped up from behind him, and Jongdae elbowed his shin and pouted.

 

“ you,” he hissed, crossing his arms with a huff, before looking up. “Anyway, what is it?” Kris, who had been looking at the whole scene with a mix of exasperation and amusement, just sighed.

 

“Anyway,” the pack leader started tensely, “I was going to ask when you planned to go through the rituals. We only have a few days before the full moon, and it won’t do you any good to be around without the scent of the pack on you.”

 

“Oh, well…” Jongdae started, blinking a couple times vacantly. He’d expected this conversation, really, for ages now, but suddenly, as soon as it was here, he found himself completely blanking. “Uhm, well, I don’t really need to go out for the full moon, so it should be alright…”

 

“What do you mean, you ‘don’t go out for the full moon?’” Joonmyeon questioned, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and Jongdae heard Baekhyun sighing behind him before leaning in to rest his chin on top of the half-breed boy’s head.

 

“He has a lot more control during the full moon, so he rarely actually lets go and turns,” Baekhyun explained, but the others didn’t seem any less confused. “Says he doesn’t need to ‘succumb to instinct,’ or some like that.”

 

“You can’t just…choose to not to turn, Jongdae,” Joonmyeon chastised, though it seemed like he was still somewhat processing what he’d just heard as well. “Control or not, it’s not good for you.”

 

“Especially,” Kris added, “considering how you’ll likely be mating sometime in the near future.”

 

Now, Jongdae wasn’t really sure why he had done it. Perhaps, it had been the weeks of pent-up frustration, of burrowed confusion and fear and irritation finally breaking free from the internal prison he had set for himself. Perhaps it was the moment itself; perhaps it had just felt right for him subconsciously. Perhaps he was just and not thinking. He wasn’t sure, but he did it anyway, scoffing, leaning back into Baekhyun’s shins, as he said:

 

“Well, that shouldn’t be a problem, because I doubt I’ll be mating any time soon.”

 

Silence—not just the movie silence where everything would be pretty quiet, but you could still hear sounds of things rustling and machines whirring and wind blowing. This was a pin-drop silence, and Jongdae felt almost dazed in the second it happened. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, and soon enough, the room had burst into noise, with the sound of sudden movements on the floors and couches, the sound of people gasping or whispering to each other, and the sound of Baekhyun slapping Jongdae right upside the head.

 

  It had taken a few minutes, but after getting enough of the confusion and worry out, alongside having felt Kris’s aura growing oppressively large as a sign for them to quiet down, all those in the room stopped their actions, turning to focus solely on their pack leader and Jongdae, who were currently in an intense stare-off (and by that, Jongdae meant Kris staring intently at him, while he himself just sorta awkwardly tried and failed to avoid any and all eye contact).

 

Kris sighed, pinching the bridge of his noise as he seemingly tried to figure out what the was going on.

 

“What…” he started, and Jongdae gulped and chose to stare at his knees to avoid any more accidental eye contact. “What do you mean: you doubt you’ll be mating?”

 

“Uhm, well, I-I…” Jongdae stammered out, before making a split-second decision and bolting up, surprising everyone around him. He kept his eyes down at the floor as he made a half-assed excuse, “I-I’m not feeling t-too hot right n-now, I’m gonna g-go take a walk… bye.”

 

And with that, he practically sped out the room, silently grateful that the spot he had been sitting at had been extremely close to the front door. He dashed out, immediately turning into his half-wolf half-human form and running off into the forest. Behind him, he could hear the sounds of people getting ready to chase after him, but others—likely Baekhyun, Joonmyeon, or Yixing—stopping them. He thanked them in his mind, but as soon as he felt the presences stop coming after him, he stopped listening, focusing all his attention on just going somewhere.

 

He ended up finding a fairly nice, lake-side clearing a decent ways away from the house to stop at. As soon as he had made sure he wasn’t being followed by the pack, and that this was indeed still their land, and that he hadn’t accidentally stumbled into some other pack’s territory, he shifted back into his full human form, collapsing to the floor almost immediately.

 

All of their kind had half-human, half-wolf forms, but it was usually quite exhausting to keep up for long periods of time to be bothered with, considering how, by staying in that form, they were practically forcibly halting the transforming process. Unfortunately, Jongdae’s human blood didn’t help him in this case, and it actually harmed him, as the wolf part of him had to work especially hard to maintain that midway form, so he didn’t usually use it at all. He had only used it now because, as he figured out over the many years he had spent on the run, it was more difficult to track him if he was in the half form, especially those packs who hadn’t encountered him before. It would help not only keep EXO a bit away from him if they decided to come after him, as well as help him avoid any packs that may have been wandering around in the patches of no-man’s-land they had around here.

 

After half-sitting half-laying there exhaustedly on the floor, he moved a little bit over, just enough so that he’d be leaning his back up against a tree as he sat. From there, he just stared out into the clearing blankly, reflecting on what had just happened.

 

He knew he’d have to explain eventually. He had dropped a bomb with what he did, and even if he did it unintentionally, he didn’t stick around to clean up the messy aftermath of debris and causalities. It was chaotic, really, what he did, but could he really be blamed? Yes, well, he did just run out on the people who were starting to really treat him as a friend, and as family, but he’d been dealing with this frustration for weeks. They could deal with a few hours of it.

 

As those thoughts crossed his mind, his found his eyes slowing beginning to droop. Everything, between the conversation, the shifting, and the running, had outright exhausted him, so he didn’t even try to fight his body as it found solace in the sweetness of unconsciousness.

 

----

 

It was only hours later (or at least, he assumed it was hours; it didn’t seem like it was a completely different day, after all), when Jongdae was awoken, by an internal paranoia his wolf was inducing in him as it felt the approach of new presences. Out of his daze, however, he soon realized these newcomers were none to be worried about—they were more than familiar.

 

Sighing, he sat up (because he was still tired, dammit) with his legs crossed, waiting impatiently for the pair them to come out open into the clearing. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for that to happen, and when it did, Jongdae didn’t even need to look up to see who it was.

 

“Please tell me you left someone in charge and that when I go back the house won’t be on fire,” he said without moving his head, only actually looking up when Kris and Zitao came to stand directly in front of him.

 

“Joonmyeon’s handling everything; it’ll be fine,” Kris replied, amusement filling his face for a brief second before he seemingly remembered why they were here. His face quickly turned solemn once more, but apparently, that didn’t pick up on Zitao.

 

 “Joonmama can handle anything!” the boy chirped, and Jongdae just rolled his eyes and chuckled.

 

“Hyung is quite capable, I guess,” he agreed half-heartedly, before the corner of his lip turned up into a teasing smirk as he turned his head to seemingly make conversation with Kris only. “Good thing you didn’t bring Joonmyeon hyung and leave Tao in charge; we would’ve walked back into complete chaos.” Zitao whined, smacking Kris on the arm when the Alpha laughed.

 

“No you wouldn’t have! I’d be responsible!” he protested, his nasally, childish tone entirely contrasting his words. Jongdae scoffed.

 

“Please, by the time we’d get back, you’d have single-handedly gotten the entire pack to declare war on Luhan hyung because he stole your sunglasses or something,” Jongdae retorted, and color rushed to Zitao’s face.

 

“They were designer!” he complained, huffily stomping his feet.

 

Jongdae was almost worried that Zitao would actually start throwing a fit, but then Kris was hushing his mate and patting his back in a comforting way that the half-breed boy couldn’t help but find cute. Unfortunately for the Jongdae, however, their picking on Zitao wasn’t meant to last long, and sooner than expected, the couple was staring Jongdae down and questioning him.

 

“So, are we going to have to interrogate you, or are you gonna explain?” Kris asked, both him and Zitao sitting down on the forest floor in front of Jongdae. The latter sighed, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around his shins, resting his chin in the little crevices formed in the middle of his legs.

 

“I don’t even know,” he groaned, and he could practically feel the pair’s worried stares on him.

 

“Are you and Minseok hyung not getting along, or…?” Zitao asked hesitantly. “I thought you guys seemed to be getting along, seemed to be friends…” Jongdae could tell how awkward this was for him. Zitao was a complete social butterfly, who would get close and attached to practically anyone who knew him for more than a few minutes. And Minseok was of the pack. There was no doubt he felt at least some discomfort talking about his family like this, as though their precious eldest hyung was doing something wrong.

 

“No, no, it’s not that,” Jongdae quickly corrected. He paused, but when it was obvious that Zitao and Kris weren’t going to continue the conversation themselves, he sighed. “It’s just… we’re… too much of friends.” From there, it was like his mouth was a cracked open dam, with all of his pent-up thoughts, frustrations, and more pouring out all in one go. “We talk, we hang out, we pull each other’s ankles when we’re in the pool to freak each other out, but I do all that stuff with Sehun, or Chanyeol, or you guys, or whoever. It’s all friend stuff, and that’s all good and stuff, but just… shouldn’t it be more? Shouldn’t he be trying to court me or whatever comes with this soul mate stuff? Shouldn’t he actually mention it? If he’s expecting me to be the one to talk about it, shouldn’t he at least make that clear to me? Or if he doesn’t want to mate, shouldn’t he tell me? Why does he have to just avoid the subject all together like the plague? Just… ugh.” He finished his rant with a groan, his hands reaching up and clutching at his hair in frustration.

 

There was a small silence after that, as Jongdae took the time to calm himself down, while Zitao and Kris likely took the time to try and process everything that had just been told to them. It was only once he had managed to de-tense himself did Jongdae realize all that he had just said, and his face turned red as he realized he had just spilt out weeks’ worth of frustration out to the pair without a second thought.

 

It wasn’t until he felt a presence directly to his side did he raise his head from its position on his knees, and he looked to his left to see Zitao smiling at him.

 

“You know hyung,” he started, “Kris was really at expressing himself before.”

 

“Tao!” the pack leader hissed, but his mate ignored him as Jongdae just raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to continue.

 

“He saved me from a fire that killed my parents, and then brought me back to the pack and revealed everything about werewolves to me, knowing full well that it could get me killed by other packs, and that it could endanger the EXO pack. Joonmyeon hyung had been the one to tell me that Kris would need to turn and mate me for me to survive and for them to be okay, but you know what he did instead? He ignored me. Flat-out ignored me, for over five months.” Jongdae’s eyes widened, and Kris groaned. “To cut a long, long story short, he was avoiding me because he was scared to tell me the truth—that he saved me because he wanted to mate me, and that he just didn’t know what the he was doing—”

 

“Alright, that’s enough out of you,” Kris interrupted, but he was flushing way too much for anyone to take him seriously. Jongdae and Zitao grinned, and the pack leader sighed. “It’s true, I was being pretty dumb, but that’s not the point here, now is it, Tao?” The mentioned boy pouted before sighing.

 

“Killjoy,” he mumbled, before waving his hand dismissively. “But he’s right, I have a point in this. I think… I think Minseok hyung may be similar. Not nearly as dumb, of course,” Kris protested loudly, but was promptly ignored, “but he may just have a hard time expressing himself. There’s no doubt he feels connected to you, not just because of the bond. I’ve seen him staring at you quite a lot, hyung, but… I think it’s just hard for him to say what’s on his mind.” Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows, and Kris picked up the conversation from there.

 

“He’s a very quiet one in general, Minseok is; preferring to sit back and listen rather than say everything on his mind,” Kris explained. “But now he’s being expected to not only take that initiative, but to be the first and only one to do it. Maybe he just needs time?” Jongdae sighed, but nodded.

 

“I guess…” he agreed begrudgingly. “…but I still don’t think I should head back to the house, not for a little while at least.” Zitao was immediately protesting, but he held a hand up, gesturing to the boy to listen to him. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but I just don’t think it’d be a good idea, at least until the full moon passes. Reason will go out of the window at that time, and I don’t want any mistakes to happen.”

 

“But hyuuuuung, you can’t leave us!” Zitao complained, and Jongdae chuckled, ruffling the boy’s hair.

 

“I’m not leaving you; I’ll just be back at Baekhyun’s cabin for a few days, and I’ll come back after the full moon, alright?” he reassured, but the boy still seemed unconvinced.

 

“But what if you run into some other packs? What if those guys from before come back? What if—” Jongdae hushed Zitao in the middle of his panicked rant.

 

“Trust me, Baek and I stayed there undetected for nearly five years; I can handle a few days.” Zitao wasn’t buying it, mouthing off more and more complaints, but Jongdae just ignored him in favor of looking over at the other man in their little trio. “What about you? What do you think?” Kris sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration.

 

“I’m not happy about it,” the Alpha started with a frown, “but it’s not my choice to make. I’m not your Alpha—not officially, that is—and if this is what you think is best, who am I to stop you?” He paused. “But are you sure this is the right thing to do? Isn’t this just like running away? Shouldn’t you face the problem head-on and just talk to Minseok? Tao was right: I did avoid him for five months, and I made a lot of mistakes during that time. I don’t want this to start something like that for you, especially if I can keep it from happening.” Jongdae sighed.

 

“I guess it really would seem like I’m running away,” he started, “but I promise, I’m not. I will come back, I will face Minseok hyung, I will do all that, as soon as possible, but just… if things take a turn for the worst, I don’t want to deal with that emotional instability during the full moon.”

 

“Jongdae…” Kris trailed off as he saw something akin to anxiety fill the half-breed boy’s face.

 

And how could he not feel anxious? Whether or not he wanted to, Jongdae felt an attraction to Minseok. He had to, because of this ing bond they had, but there was more than that. Without even knowing the older man very well, he had managed to fall—not for the man himself (not yet), but for the very idea of being soul mates with him. All his life, Jongdae had been flung time after time into pits of despair, anger, and hatred; even with a father who watched over him and a best friend who cared for him, Jongdae had never truly formed a loving, permanent connection with another person. When the possibility arose of having someone to absolutely cherish him, and for him to cherish in return, he couldn’t deny his own excitement. He was absolutely ecstatic, whether he’d admit it—out loud and to himself—or not. Yet now, as that possibility became dimmer and dimmer, he couldn’t help but feel almost betrayed. All the emotions he had warded off or, if he couldn’t evade them, dug down deep with himself had surfaced in such a short period of time, just because of that little possibility, and yet now, those emotions were quickly morphing into something darker, something far more somber than he had desired.

 

His heart was being broken, without him ever actually falling in love.

 

“Alright, stop!” Zitao was suddenly exclaiming, bolting up and pulling Kris and Jongdae’s arms to make them stand as well. “This is getting to serious, and I don’t like it!” Before the other two could even try to question the youngest, the latter was letting go of them, only to smack Kris on the arm. “Tag, you’re it!”

 

They didn’t even get a chance to process the words and refuse, because as soon as those words left his mouth, Zitao was shifting into his wolf form and running off into the dense forest.

 

Silence.

 

“Well,” Kris said after a moment of stupefied quiet. Jongdae looked over to see the Alpha grinning down at him. “I guess we have no choice.” That was all Kris said before he too was transforming and running off.

 

“…and they say he’s mature?” Jongdae mumbled with an eye-roll, with only a quick thought of how grateful he was that he didn’t bring any of his belongings along with him that he’d lose after ripping his clothes. Before he was even completely finished with his shifting, he ran off in the direction the pair had gone in, not wanting to lose more time than he already had.

 

After all, no matter how childish it was (Jongdae was quite mature, thank you very much), he would not lose.

---

I was thinking of splitting these sections up, but after leaving you guys hanging for so long (sorry bout that btw ive been having a lot of computer problems lately), i decided to just have one big update haha

but yeah!! wow lots of drama but we're getting to the end soon! not gonna spoil anything, though, so you'll just have to wait and see what happens~ 
Anyways, if you have any questions/concerns, or whatever, make sure to let me know, and as always, happy reading! <3