Chapter 5: 'What?'

I sigh. The mug of tea I hold no longer warms my hands. It’s a murky brown since the tea bag has been in it too long, the reflection in the liquid stares back at me in pity.

Yoongi sits on the couch, his expression changing between concern and boredom. I suddenly feel guilty for having him come here. It’s been a few days since I’ve spoken to Hoseok, and for some reason even Namjoon seem to be ignoring me. I invited him today but he declined.

I lift my head and, leaning over the kitchen table, finally say what’s been on my mind the past hour. “Do you think if I had messaged Hoseok more often this wouldn’t have happened?” I mumble, patially to myself and partially to my company.

Yoongi perks up and crosses his arms, pretending he had been interested this whole time. He presses his lips together then shakes his head. “Don’t blame yourself,” he says in a low voice.

I frown and take my first sip of the tea. It’s cold and extremely bitter. I cringe and immediately pour the rest down the sink. Yoongi watches with mild interest since there’s nothing better for him to do. I trudge over to the couch and sit next to him, hoping he’d say something that would take my mind off of things.

“Would it have been better if we just never dated?” I mutter unconsciously.

“Why would you say that?”

I pout, he’s being a lot nicer than usual. “What’s up with you?” I frown distastefully, “Why aren’t you insulting me?”

He makes a disgusted face, “I’m the nicest person you know.”

I roll my eyes.

“But Ahri.”

My eyes fix on Yoongi, he’s suddenly serious. The air around my suddenly feels heavier. I wait for him to continue.

“When you were talking to Hoseok on the phone, what happened?”

I take a deep breath in then exhale before explaining. He nods as he listens, his attention unwavering.

“Odd,” he says when I finish retelling the conversation. “Hoseok seemed really happy the day you visited us—and he looked real nervous when he got to talk to you on the phone…” he pauses and after some thoughts adds, “I bet Namjoon said something to him,” then gives me an expecting look.

I furrow my brows, “What has Namjoon got to do with this?” I purse my lips in thought, unsure what to make of Hoseok’s behaviour. “Do you think it’s a symptom?”

Yoongi’s expression drops. “You’re real stupid sometimes,” he grumbles as he throws his hands in the air, “I feel bad for them.”

“What?” I complain, “What did I do?”

He gives me a smug frown and shakes his head. He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by his phone ringing. He checks it and brings it to his ear, excusing himself as he takes the call. I slouch into the couch, inevitably eavesdropping on his conversation.

“Yeah I’m with Ahri… Huh?... why don’t you ask?...fine… yeah fine… yeah yeah okay, lemme ask her,” he takes the device away from his ear and turns to me, he looks slightly taken aback to notice I’m glaring at him.

“Far out Ahri, stop doing that all the time,” he grumbles. “Nam—” he pauses and scratches his neck before restarting, “The guys want you to come over to the dorm.”

I tip my head to the side, “Why?”

“I don’t know, maybe the kids miss you?” he shrugs, “they just want you to come over.”

“Yoongi, don’t bother lying,” I mutter in disappointment, “It’s something to do with Hoseok is it?”

He snorts, “Yeah hurry up and get a jacket. I’ll drive.”

Before we knock on the door Yoongi turns to me. “Don’t—” he sighs, and puts a hand on my shoulder, “don’t force yourself too much, none of this is your fault. If you feel lik—”

I shake his hands off and interrupt. “Stop it, it doesn’t suit you,” I tease as I knock on the door. I can see him roll his eyes without looking at him.

Namjoon opens the door and for a moment we stare awkwardly at each other. I feel like something’s changed.

“Hello.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “Hey,” he replies before moving aside, gesturing us in without another word.

My eyes linger on his for a while, he stares closer to the ground than usual. I stop and let Yoongi go ahead as Namjoon locks the door. He turns to follow us into the living room, flustered to see I’m still there.

“Ahri move,” he says as I shuffle side to side, blocking his path.

I stare up at his eyes but they don’t meet mine. “What’s wrong?” I say worriedly, “Why are you avoiding me?”

He finally looks me in the eyes. They look slightly hollow. He pulls on a shallow smile and messes my hair, he doesn’t answer but I let him push past me. I turn to watch him wander inside, his back more slumped than usual. ‘What happened?’

I slowly walk after him, the distance feels so strange and foreign between us—he’s never felt so far. Though it’s only a trip through the hallway to reach the living room, this time it felt like a silent void of passing time. I notice I’ve only been staring at the floorboards when I look up to be greeted with concerned expressions, Hoseok included.

“H-hey,” I stammer. They’re all seated on or around the couch with the television playing amongst their paused chatter.

Taehyung slides off the couch grinning warmly and Jimin pats the newly vacated seat next to him. As I take a seat Yoongi starts the chatter again with a casual ‘what’s up.’

Taehyung leans on my lower legs and tilts his head up to looks at me. “What took you so long?” he says scrunching his face.

I laugh and apologize. I suddenly feel somewhat at ease and am able to have a normal conversation with them despite feeling like I’m being watched.

“Ahem.” Hoseok appears in front of us, blocking the television.

We look up at him waiting. I can feel Jimin place a hand on my back comfortingly, probably worried I’ll start feeling uneasy again. Hoseok’s eyes flicker to Jimin before averting back to me.

He bites his bottom lip, "can I talk to you?”

I look up at him in shock. Jimin pats my back, encouraging me to get up and talk to him. I take a deep breath in and stand, Taehyung shuffles forward to let me through before taking back his seat as I follow Hoseok back into the hallway.

He looks around nervously. I feel unsure, anxious, scared. He turns back to me with the same look of unrest I wear. We both stutter in fluster.

He takes a deep breath. “Thank you for returning my phone,” he says softly. He looks nervous, scratching at his palms.

“It’s no problem,” I reply. There’s a long pause. The silence between us is shared with the noise in the living room. We look around ourselves uncomfortably. “Should we go back?” I suggest after some time. I turn to leave but I stop when I feel a hand around my wrist.

“Ahri.”

I look over my shoulder to see Hoseok looking back at me with pursed lips and furrowed brows.

I feel my heartbeat fall. He said my name. I stare in utter disbelief, he didn’t use any honorifics.

He hesitates and straightens up. “I-it’s okay to call you that right?” he asks unsurely, “Since… we’re dating?”