I woke up with the sound of something tapping against my window. I stirred—groaned, even—before forcing myself out of bed. I drew my curtains apart and saw Donghyun, throwing pebbles in my direction. He stopped when he saw me and while rubbing my eyes with my right hand, I opened the window with my other.

“What’s the matter?” I called out to him, my vision still a little fuzzy.

Donghyun smirked, and checked his phone. “It’s today,” he said. “What are you doing, dozing off?”

My eyes widened. “W-What time is it, anyway?!”

“See for yourself,” he replied.

I turned around and d for my phone hidden beneath my duvet. Finally feeling the silicone case, I pulled it out and checked the time. I shot Donghyun an anxious look, and he returned it with a nonchalant grin. “Take a bath and hurry up. Jinki said we can just eat there.”

<:>

The sun casted a pale, golden glow against the city and my anxiety of what was about to take place that evening conjured my heart to ache a little. While we were riding Jinki’s car, I really couldn’t focus and I kept on clenching and unclenching my fists. The more I stared outside, the more my distant my mind became. The next thing I knew, I was back in shoving out these petty memories of mine I shared with Yonghwa years ago. I thought I already hid them well at the very back of my mind. However, with the events I’ve encountered in Belfast, they just kept on popping out without my permission, as if my memories had a mind of its own.

“When I get famous,” Yonghwa began, as he soaked his feet in the river. He turned to look at me. “I’ll make sure to sing a song for you.”

I looked up at the sky and listened to the chirping of the cicadas, which perfectly matched the wind and the gush of the river. “Why would you?”

“Because,” he splashed some water on my face with his hand. “We’re best friends!”

“Hey!” I cried, as I did the same. He managed to turn away, though, so I ended up soaking his shirt instead. “If we’re best friends then why do you annoy me so much?”

“Because I know you won’t get mad,” he pointed out, grinning. “And because I’m comfortable around you.”

I crossed my arms. “Then what kind of song will you sing for me?”

He pondered for a moment, and grinned. “I’m not sure yet,” he said. “But if you listen to it, no matter where you are, then you’ll know that it’s your song.”

“How would I know that?”

“You’ll know it,” he said in a tone which made me feel perplexed. “Because I will think of you while composing that song.”

I jerked a little upon realizing that Donghyun was poking my knee with his phone. “Shin Hye-yah!” I heard him cry out.

“W-What?” I stuttered, gaining control over my senses.

“I was asking you something,” he said. “Didn’t you hear me?”

I blinked for a few times. Jinki glanced at me through the rearview mirror.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I guess I spaced out.”

“You’re probably hungry,” he replied. “We’re almost there.”

“Yeah,” I choked out.

<:>

The Odyssey Arena was filled with people—most of them had the same royal blue wristband as us. As we walked through the wide space to enter a restaurant, I could hear scattered chatters here and there, coming upon the conclusion that it wasn’t only Donghyun and I who flew over to Belfast just to see CN BLUE. It was strange, in my part, to see my best friend get this famous.

“Oh!” I heard a girl cry in Korean. “Look, look! She’s the one Yonghwa busked with!”

As if on autopilot, I turned to where the voice came from.

“It is her!” her friend confirmed. The next thing I knew, they were coming towards us. “You’re that girl, right?”

I nodded a little, at a loss for words.

They smiled. “You’re really fortunate, being able to sing with Yonghwa oppa like that.”

“Y-Yeah,” I agreed. I looked at Donghyun and Jinki for help, but the both of them just looked away, leaving me alone to deal with the situation.

“We really envy you,” the girl who spotted me first remarked. “But then, Mina unnie is even more fortunate.”

Donghyun looked at me as I struggled to keep my composure. I bit my lower lip, and smiled. “I heard they’re childhood friends,” I said.

“They are,” the second girl replied, nodding away. “Mina unnie is the administrator of the biggest fan café for CN BLUE, as well.”

“Oh,” I muttered. “I see.”

“But to be honest, I really think Yonghwa oppa and her look good together. Don’t you think so, too?”

The asking me that question made me queasy. I didn’t know what to say to them, then, and my eyes felt so moist and warm all of a sudden. They didn’t know our situation, and that fact made it worse. Something in my heart began to boil; questions began to fill my head—most of them were unpleasant. In my mind, I blamed people and things that really had nothing to do with what was happening.

Why did I leave Korea in the first place?

Why didn’t I stop Yonghwa from going to the tournament at that time?

Why did Mina take my place?

Why did Yonghwa forget?

Why does it have to be him?

Why, why, why?!

I couldn’t do anything to stop the inevitable, I knew that already. However, why did the people around Yonghwa and I made it worse?

Donghyun stepped forward, and stood between the girls and I. “We’re in a bit of a hurry,” he said. “Sorry. You guys can talk again later on.”

He didn’t wait for their reply. Instead, he turned around and pushed me forward gently, guiding me to the nearest restaurant.

<:>

“Can you still do this?” Donghyun asked, looking up from his half-finished plate of food.

There was a brief pause before I said, “Yeah, what’s there to be anxious about?”

“Well, you seem like you’re about to jump out of your wits,” he pointed out.

“I’m cool,” I replied. “So don’t worry.”

Jinki, who was adjacent to the both of us at that time, swung his head from side to side as if our exchange of words was like a Ping-Pong match.

“After this,” Donghyun said in a slow and serious tone. He locked eyes with me. “I’ll give up and not regret.”

“Give up what?” Jinki chimed in, sheer curiosity present in his voice.

“A losing battle,” his friend replied. Donghyun then stood up. “I need to go to the toilet, so if you’ll excuse me…” he squeezed himself out of the table with ease and we watched him head for the washroom.

“Donghyun’s acting strange lately,” Jinki muttered more to himself. He turned to me. “Shin Hye-yah, you remember the time I took a video of you in the garden?”

I nodded. “What about it, Jinki-ssi?”

“I finished editing it,” he said with a bright grin on his face. “When we get home, I can give you a copy.”

“Sure,” I replied, smiling back. “I’m sure it turned out well.”

“The concept is pretty sad, though,” he remarked, as he twisted pasta on his fork. “Not really sad, but bittersweet.”

“What’s the theme, anyway?” I asked.

He looked up at me, and smiled. “Mending blank.”

“Mending…blank?” I repeated, not really getting the point. “Do you have to fill in the blank, then?”

“Yeah,” he said, bobbing his head. “If you take it this way, autumn is the season where summer shifts into winter, right?”

“Right,” I returned.

“It’s a season of dying and living at the same time,” he carried on. “People harvest during this time and yet the leaves from the trees fall one by one,” he let out a tiny laugh. “This will sound lame, but in a way, it reminded me of a broken heart, or a person waiting.”

“What do you mean, Jinki-ssi?”

“Autumn is a signal of preparation for the coming winter,” he answered while tinkering with his soda’s straw. “People should get what they have to get in order to survive the frost and snow. If they prepared well enough, then it’s all good. If not, however, then it’s really unfortunate,” he shot me a knowing look. “When the snow melts, Shin Hye, what do you think will happen?”

“It will turn to water,” I replied promptly.

A slow smile graced Jinki’s lips while he shook his head no. “Spring will happen.”

We were quiet, and he chuckled. “What’s so funny?” I asked with flushed cheeks.

“I sounded mature earlier, right? Truth be told, I just heard that from an anime I used to watch when I was younger. But then, let me ask you another question.”

“Shoot,” I replied.

“How can you make spring happen, Shin Hye?”

“You can’t make it happen,” I pointed out. “You simply have to wait for it.”

He clapped his hands together. “That’s it!” he cried, grinning from ear to ear. “You have to wait. And so, there’s mending in waiting.”

“Mending in waiting,” I muttered, thoughtful. “Mending in waiting…”

“Donghyun-ah,” Jinki said in a gentle tone. He cradled his name in his tongue with such care. “He told me back then that he was waiting for a friend. That friend, however, was waiting for another person.”

I kept quiet, not really able to think of anything to say.

“He even said that waiting for his friend was like waiting for a ferry to pick him up in a subway station. I advised him to give it up, because he was being foolish, but he refused,” Jinki sighed; a melancholic, tiny smile played on his lips. “He said that in pain, there is healing. He’s afraid that he’ll regret if he doesn’t give it his all, that’s why he kept on pouring out his feelings generously. He believed that his friend’s heart was broken by love, and so with love, he tried to mend it. I asked him, ‘What about your heart? Won’t it be broken, too?’ and he answered that it will, but in time, someone else will come along and fix it.”

We let this silence surround us, and the chatters of the people seemed to fade away together with the background music. It felt like Jinki and I were the only ones in the room. “I thought that it was you who would fix his heart. Turns out you were the friend Donghyun was waiting for.”

As if on cue, Donghyun arrived. “Did I miss anything?” he asked.

Jinki and I looked at each other, and smiled. “No,” he answered. “Nothing grand really happened.”

Thinking about it, at that time, I reflected Donghyun’s situation quite well. We were both waiting for a certain person who had a huge possibility of not showing up. The only difference was, a ferry actually came to pick me up from a subway station.

<:>

The three of us killed the remaining time by playing in the arcade area. Having the same passion for dancing, we dominated the DDR mats, spending most of our tokens in there. We played against each other and so far, I didn’t win over Jinki despite him stumbling here and there.

The gates opened up at 6:30 in the afternoon and we were the first ones to enter the wide concert hall. “This will be filled with people later on,” Jinki whispered.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

We finally found our place—Donghyun had VIP tickets, and so we were one of the few people who stood nearest the stage. I wondered how it would feel like, seeing my best friend perform in front of thousands of people. We had to wait for thirty minutes for the real show to begin, and to keep us from boredom, the screen in front of us showed a VTR of CN BLUE. The beginning showed a black screen first, and a sentence faded into the background, together with the gentle, crisp plucking of an acoustic guitar.

In this journey, we have met many people.

Some stayed for a short time, others for a while longer.

We have met…

“Gyu-yah!” a familiar voice yelled, as the screen brightened up bit by bit. In a matter of seconds, it showed an old video footage where a boy with an undefeatable eye smile was grinning in front of the camera—Sunggyu. I blinked my tears away but the lump forming in my throat pushed it out. “You’re not fair!” the same voice said again. “Give the ball back to me!”

“Never!” Sunggyu shot back, as he ran away while kicking the soccer ball skillfully. The sky was blue, then, and the grass was at its greenest. The distant chirping of cicadas could be heard, as well. Despite the faded video, the feelings it tried to convey was as vivid as ever.

A boy with glossy, black hair ran after Sunggyu. He was wearing a soccer jersey—the one that I had at home. He turned to the camera, and the fans screamed with delight. I was, however, already crying my eyes out.

“Coach!” the younger version of Yonghwa called out as he pointed at Sunggyu, who was already playing around in a safe distance. “How can we do a one-on-one if he’s like that?!”

“He’s your friend,” their coach replied. He was the one taking the video, after all. “Go sort it out yourselves.”

“Ah, really!” he let out in a frustrated cry. “Hey, Kim Sunggyu! Get back here, now!” the sounds faded away into nothingness, and another set of words overlapped the already vanishing footage.

The boy who became a star

The sound of a blaring horn startled most of the audience, and the scenery of the next footage showed a busy city, with tall buildings and a bunch of musicians in the background, playing a song on a pavement.

“Maingay ang lansangan ng Maynila,” a voice of a young man said. A subtitle was provided, as well, and it read: The streets of Manila are noisy.

“Marami ring nangyayari sa lugar na ‘to. ‘yung iba, masaya, ‘yung iba naman, hindi.” Many things happen in this place. Some of them are happy things, while the others aren’t.

The screen shifted scenes. It became dark and people about our age were running around a dark alleway, shouting inaudible things. The next thing I knew, two people were already on the ground, boxing each other. Another scene, however, exposed an older brother carrying his sibling on his back while the younger one ate an ice cream cone with gusto.

“Kahit na laging nagbabago ang mundo…” Even if the world always changes.

“…Hindi nito mababago ang pangarap ko.” It won’t change my dream.

The speaker began to sing, and the video showed him playing a guitar. “Ang ingay ng Maynila, papalitan ko ‘to ng musika.” I will change the noise of Manila with music.

The screen faded to black again, and the acoustic song which was playing from the very beginning was the only thing that could be heard.

The dreamer within us

A moment later, a familiar song filled the concert hall. My eyes widened when I saw myself singing—this was the time when Yonghwa and I busked.

“Sh-Shin Hye-yah,” Jinki whispered. Donghyun, however, shushed him. I wiped my tears away to prevent my sight from blurring up.

My voice was minimized, and the voices of Jonghyun, Minhyuk and Jungshin were heard.

“Where did Yonghwa hyung go?” Minhyuk’s tofu-like voice began.

“He’s probably somewhere, leave him be,” Jungshin replied in a groggy tone.

“We have to practice, though,” Jonghyun pointed out.

“He might be practicing at the moment,” Jungshin said mischievously. “He kept on talking about busking last night, remember?”

“Yonghwa?” Jonghyun repeated. “Busking? Ha! No way.”

Their voices were gone, and so was the video.

The girl with autumn eyes.

Another footage faded into the screen again, this time showing crowds of people in different cities, with different races. It showed CN BLUE doing performances in different countries, as well. There was a scene where they were preparing for a concert; there was another where they all ate together and laughed together; a fan was caught crying upon seeing CN BLUE in person and they hugged her in return, saying, “It’s all right, we’re here,” over and over again; another scene exposed the four of them sitting down on an empty road, admiring the pastel blue sky during spring; there was Yonghwa eating food in secret and Jonghyun catching him.

The transition from one scene to another became faster and faster—so did the music in the background. The acoustic guitar was then accompanied by the rhythmic beating of the drum, followed by an electric guitar and soon, the bass. The video showed different people, flashing abruptly, one after the other. Soon, words were overlapped against the slides.

In a sea of people

There is a unique story carried by each and every one of you

We want to be a part of those stories tonight

Please join us in our

Everything stopped—the music, the video, everything. The audience was too amazed to even shout out.

Paper boat ride

The moment that word appeared on the screen, flares began to light up the stage, followed by the laser lights. The dim stage became brighter and brighter, until CN BLUE could be clearly seen. There were no awkward lapses. In an instant, they began to sing their first song. Yonghwa was so near to me. If I slightly jumped up then I would reach his foot. The sadness I felt from earlier vanished, and at that time, I felt so proud of him.

“That’s my best friend,” I muttered under my breath, as I wiped more tears from my eyes. “That’s my best friend right over there.”

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses."
- Proverbs 10:12

I got the idea of "paper boat ride" from YellOh. She commented it. How can you guys be more creative than me? xD

laz_15 to answer your question, yes, some of the events here in this ff are derived from my personal experiences ^^ And thanks for supporting this fic T^T but seriously you have to thank loveternallyou for giving me the prompt ^^

devilmaycry I'm encouraged with your words, thank you ;A; reading from my subbers that they felt the story is a great privilege. I don't know but it seriously makes me feel so fuzzy inside ^^

almontel I've a schoolmate in the same year as me, as well. It's really sad, how life can end abruptly just like that. However, all things work together for the good. That's what I hold on to,  because I understand how the parents of that schoolmate of mine felt. I experienced loss, too, you see, but I guess it made me stronger as a person ^^

mymy5106 thanks for the encouragement ^^ God bless ♥

nnaeam lol, yes, you can call me chinggu, ate ^^ Now I remember my friend back in the Philippines. We call each other "ibs" (short for kaibigan) ke ke.

deanne to be honest this is my way of running away from my duties as a student xD A stress-reliever, might I tell you. lol. God bless you, too ^^

mylchris Ah, the notebook. I haven't read it yet. I didn't see the movie, either. And to think that I love that author! His way of writing make me feel warm inside--it's like a hot cup of cocoa for my heart ^^ God bless you, too :D

YelleOh I love that. "Paper Boat ride." Thank you, too, for putting up with this story. The outcome wouldn't be as good as this if you lot weren't there to encourage me along the way ^^

Nandiferd lol you don't have to rush ^^

janiejane Glory to God for that ^^ God bless!

miss-hitomi Parokyano!