"I've fallen for someone.."

Jin's voice echoed in my head as I looked at my own reflection in the bathroom mirror. It happened a week ago but it feels just like yesterday or even today. I don't know how to describe my feelings, I'm extremely hurt and angry but at the same time it feels like I don't have any emotions at all. I studied myself for a while, letting my mind wander off.  My hair, such a mess. My eyes, all red of crying. I placed my hand on the sink then I picked up the gun laid on top of the sink. 

The gun was a gift that I got from my dad the day I moved away from home, he said that I should use it to protect myself. How should he know that I would use it to something like this...
Slowly I brought it up against my temple. "If I can be with you then what's the propose of living". I closed my eyes and took a deep breath

Jin sat in his car thinking of wether he should head home or he sould go to Uedas place. He hadn't been able to get Ueda out of his mind and how he wished that the band had showed up a bit later so that he would have time to confess to Ueda.. and maybe.. nah.
But something pulled Jin to drive to Uedas apartment. 

Uedas apartment wasn't that very far away from where he had parked, so after 20 minutes of a silent car ride Jin was there. Parking his car, and took one last look in the car mirror to see if everything was fine. He took a deep breath and gatherd courage, this time he will say it! 
Jin got out of his car and closed the door behind him, then pressing the button to lock the car. A soft beep was heard behind him. Jin smiled and started to run  into the apartment building. At first he stood and waited for the elevator, but it didn't come fast enough, so he ran up the stairs. 

When he was outside Uedas door, he paused. "It is now or never.. either he likes me back or not, I can always blame it on alcohol or something.. I hope he won´t hate me." Jin looked after the spare key in his jacket and then put it in the lock, unlocking the door.

He opened the door smiling like an idiot, but soon that smile turned into a fearful expression. "TAT-CHAN, DON'T!!" He ran over to Ueda who sat with his back turned against him whit a gun at his temple. Pushing the gun away and hugging Ueda from the back. "don't, don't ,don't" Jin sobbed as he buried his face into Uedas neck, crying.