NOT PART OF THE CHAPTER, SKIP IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ: Writing this idk rant?? about the Call Me Baby MV on March 30, 2015 but I probably won't post the chapter until later. So I live in California and I stayed up till 9 PM (KST) which is 5 AM here smh but anything for our loves am I right? They didn't post it till like 5:15 I forgot but they were private, and I freaked the out like I thought there was something wrong on my end haha. But I stayed up till like around 6:30 AM and fell asleep and when I woke up I found out that SM had delayed and honestly I was really impatient BUT all the annoyance just went away when it came out. It was flawless, and I know people say they think that it was plain for EXO but I thought that the producers and set designers and what not made extremely good choices. They all looked amazing and I honestly, no joke, cried. I don't cry all that often, and this made me sob. I felt surges of pain being lifted from my shoulders and so much pride and happiness that I'm apart of the EXO-L fandom and there's these 12 talented boys who live on the same planet as me. And I say 12, because watching the music video, I was also thinking back to all the great times we had with Luhan and Kris, like look where they are right now? That is amazing. It has been the greatest ride watching these 12 already talented boys transform into even more, if it's even possible more talented men. Everyday they get better and just, it was flawless. I'm starting to cry again so, oh my goodness why am I so emotional. I just wanted to say, today was one of the happiest days of my life. And I watched a Kingsley video about fans, and Zayn Malik leaving One Direction (by the way, a huge hug to that fandom at the moment, and I might not be a Directioner but I'm sorry) and I absoloutely love Kingsley. Down to earth he is hilarious, but he stated that he understood that it would be hard having a million fangirls always crowding you and acting like they know everything about you, but I disagree. I know, that genuinely that there are fans out there who support these boys, and I'm gonna add it doesn't make you a huge fan if you cut for them. I am sorry but if you cut for EXO or any band, please end it. Support your idols, and represent your fandoms as happy fans who will support through thick and thin kindly. Long rant but, thank you for the people who have read my fanfiction. It's not that great and it's kinda sloppily written but it makes me feel so much better. I love you.

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Jongin felt the radiance and happiness that he had built up from every memory and smile he had earned from the past few months with Kim Jongdae slowly disintergrate. Not even just ripping it all out at once, so it would just disappear, it was excruciatingly, painfully, and heart-wrenchingly gradual. 

The two friends would have Thursday and Sunday night dinners where they would both make the meal together. It was an hour of preparing filled the cutting of kitchen knives against wood, murmurs of conversation, and the occasional voice of a sweet tune. Adding another sixty minutes of silverware lightly clicking against ceramic plates and happy laughter. Jongin looked forward to Thursdays and Sundays. Being in college, it was stressful with piles of dog-eared textbooks and illegible scirbbled notes on binder paper. But instead of indulging within the 24/7 easy chicken and shrimp flavored Cup of Noodle, Jongdae proposed they should take two days of the week to cook healthy.

"It's better than this," Jongdae pointed out as Jongin took a large bite of his cheeseburger. They were both sitting in Jongin's car in the In N Out's parking lot. Along with their burgers, a paper bag of two trays of fries were placed in between them as they would every now and then grab a few.

"Doesn't that cost more?" Jongin retorted as he stared lovingly at his beef patty. His body shuddered at the thought of vegetables, he was already making an  exception with the flimsy piece of lettuce and tomato in the burger. 

"A little more? Whatever, because this is not going to cut it," Jongin rolled his eyes with amusement as Jongdae flicked the red slice of tomato. 

Recipes of vegetarian tortillas and hand tossed salad with low fat dressing began to appear on the dining table and Jongin happily complied to the wave goodbye to the curly noodles. It meant he was spending more time with Jongdae, even if they were along side chopping green onions or peeling carrots. 

Also, going into college, they both needed jobs. Jongin took a job offer as a bartender at a lonely and rundown bar named Daphne. It was dark and their customers were usually regulars who came by almost every night or an occasional drunk college student who stumbled in asking for a bathroom in the early 1's and 2's of the morning, but Jongin would reply with a shake of the head and they would be gone. Tiny and compact, he enjoyed the elderly African American man who played the saxaphone outside the bar with his velvet lined case open. Jongin would slip him a five if he was in an especially good mood, but now the change given were frayed ones. The lifeless string of white Christmas lights hung sadly across the doorway, doing the complete opposite of inviting. But Jongin loved every bit of it. 

Jongdae had gotten a job at a local art store. His friendly demeanor striked the crafty visitors with a grin as they strolled along the aisles searching for acrylic paints  and dusty pastels. 

"The regular, Thomas?" Jongin offered a smile to the graying old man who plopped onto a worn leather stool. 

"It's my daughter, Rebecca. Dating this young fellow, tats and the cigarettes. It's been a terrible month," Thomas sighed heavily and ran a wrinkling hand through his thin alabaster hair. Thomas had been coming to the bar, according to the manager, for two years now. He would come at 10:00 p.m, on the dot, and order only a glass, bourbon, no ice. Thomas had Alzheimer's, and when he sat down everyday, would repeat the same thing.

"It's ridiculous. Her husband, my son in law, died two weeks ago. Ron was a good man, knew how to fish, was a real man. Could cook a hell of a steak. It's sad, dying of heart attack, he was too young. Just fell, with no notice or heads up, dead." Thomas exhaled with a breath of grief into his whiskey. 

"I'm sorry to hear that sir," Jongin repeated. He felt great pity on the old man. 

"Well, I'm gonna go now. My wife, Deborah, always on my about drinking so much. I'll see you two gentleman later," Thomas waved and left.

Two? 

"Hi Jongin," he heard a charming voice call out. He turned to face Jongdae wearing his hysterically vibrant orange work vest, sitting in the back booth hiding behind an amused grin.

"When did you get here?" Jongin chuckled.

"You were in the bathroom," Jongdae walked over to the bar and took a seat. "Is it always this empty?" 

"It has a few more in the day, but basically," Jongin replied. 

Flaunting a terrible British accent, Jongdae vocalized. "Mr. Bartender, I have just landed from a long plane ride from Milan. Gin and Tonic, now."

Jongin snorted with laughter at Jongdae's ridiculousness and decided to play along. Curtsying with amusement, he answered. "Of course your Highness."

The rest of the night was fringed with high pitched howls of hilarity and joyful tears. Glasses were refilled and topped to the brim every few minutes as they both laid on the mahogany countertops guwaffing over the passing fly. Jongdae would sing inarticulatedly of tunes. 

"The memories of my love... you held...happy words," Jongdae chuckled sloppily as he sang. Jongdae's voice was actually spectacular. The lyrics, even tipsy, sang soulfully as emotion saturated his face. His long lashes were squeezed shut as he serenaded with high cheekbones ringing a light shade of carnation pink. "Hey, hey, it's your turn. Dance for me."

"Anything for you," Jongin winked at him. Throwing his head back, he spread his arms with intensity. He looked into Jongdae's eyes, and began to dance. His movements were sloppy, being intoxicated, but in his mind, the silent beat and rhythmn of the tune rang loudly in his ears. Jongin was a painting of muscles and fluid personality. His head was down but his eyes still remained connected to Jongdae's. ing his lanky arms together above his head, it swung violently as he began to drive his arms into motion. His legs kicked and shoved the rest of his body into movement. Jongin noticed the hint of fascination that waltzed in Jongdae's eyes as they followed his every act. His pupils were large from the alcohol but his gaze was intently watching him. 

"Beautiful," Jongdae murmured so faintly behind his gin and tonic that Jongin barely caught while he shifted, but he had grasped the nine letter word, and it was the only syllables keeping him from insane. 

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Allyson and Jongdae.

Allyson and Jongdae.

Allyson and Jongdae.

His heart only ripped at the seams even more as to when Jongdae and Allyson just increased their sensuality in the apartment. It first started as a few pecks on the cheek where Jongin could sit and try to calmly watch. It transformed into make-out sessions on the leather couch to moans escaping from Jongdae's bedroom. Jongin gritted his teeth harshly and bit his lip that it began to bleed. It seemed to be an endless cycle of glee and pity for himself to plain anger. He was ecstatic that the smiles on Jongdae's lovely ivory face seemed to enlarge when he was with Allyson. His eyes beamed with delight and the sunshine entangled itself among the two as they hugged passionately on the welcome carpet of their apartment. It was a love story that was innocent and naive, and Jongin didn't fit in the picture. He felt pity for himself as he had never really experienced the endless nighttime daydreams of romance that were impossible as it was coated with an unimaginable amount of fake. And last of all, he was angered that after seeing his friend, that he definitely cherished, extremely overjoyed, he couldn't bring himself to move on.

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Jongin found himself taking a little longer with the dish rag at Daphne, taking more time to clean every centimeter of glass. Right after Thomas would take the last stip of bourbon and wave goodbye, he would try to find tasks to keep him busy. The floor was constantly being mopped and the mahogany countertops shone. It wasn't that Jongin was taking a sudden interest in cleaning, he was desperately searching for a reason to not return to his modest apartment he shared with Jongdae. But these days, it seemed that Allyson was residing as well. In the morning, he would awake to make a cup of coffee but find the cinnamon haired girl perched on a stool reading a magazine on their dining table. 

If he was finished early which was usual, the place was extremely compact, he would go out on his regular meander through the late midnight. Jongin wandered aimlessly along the chilly cement grounds. Echoing nearby, he heard the occasiocal drunk howl of partying kids close by. With their plastic red cups filled to the brim with mixtures too unbearable to down, but too drunk to care, they were making a flamboyant and ear-splitting scene. Their halters and sweethearts were so cropped that you could see the faint outline of s. Lanky tan legs pranced under lacking skirts. They acted as if the bright sun was shining with their brief clothing and famed top 40 songs blasting from booming speakers. In actuality, sharp gusts of wind blew as bare branches of nearby trees went along. The chilly weather made Jongin shiver but the party goers swung happily with their hips and youthful spirits.

Briskly walking, he wanted to pass the partying frat house as quickly as possible. Turning his head away and managing to avoid sleazy eye contact, from the corner of his eye, he saw her hair. Scented of warm cinnamon and passion, but now also raveled with another man's love. Her arms were linked around a boy's neck, a boy who looked much older than her. His swift strawberry blonde hair sculpted his prominent jawline that was engraved with scruff. He began to kiss her neck in trails and she threw her head back. Her eyes opened slightly to catch Jongin's awestruck expression. She smirked boastfully and brought a finger to her lips. 

A sign of quiet, a sign of betrayal.

Jongin didn't know what to do. Glancing from left to right, he was glued to the ground. Allyson and her older guy resumed to kiss with adrenaline as she ran her long fingers through his thick hair. Jongin couldn't think straight, so he ran.