(POV: Taeyeon)

It was all over the news.

"Last night's incident chocked many people durring SMtown."

"The question still remains how she is doing."

"What will the other girls do with the rest of there tour."

It was all my own fault. I should have been more carefull. Never have I felt more ashamed of myself. Just because I'm so weak.
We where doing so well durring our, aspecially the girls. But because of the stress from all the rescent activities I wasn't feeling well for a couple of day's now.
 My chest was aching, I got tired easily. Then durring the big day on March the 15th, not far from my birthday, I colapsed in the middle of a performance because my heart felt as if it would errupt from my chest. I just couldn't stand anymore. It only took a couple of minutes before I lost consciousness but it felt like hours of pain.
  When I woke up the next day the docters said I should be happy to still be alive. But I felt ashamed. I probably disapointed all of them. I'm suposed to be the leader, the oldest, and be the example of good health. Big disapointment, right? It probably is the reason why nobody visited me yet.

I was about to try and get some sleep again, even though it was a hassle with all the equipment that was attached to me, but then there was a knock on the door of my hospital room. Before I could reply the door opened and an army of balloons in all kind of colors and shapes, some even with get well soon printed on them, floathed in followed by our manager and then the girls. My eight younger sisters, presents, bags in there hands and sadness written all over there faces. Some where even crying. I couldn't help it but because I never saw them so sad, I started crying and desperately tried to cover my face with my hand, even though it stinged with the drip attached to it. They probably pittied me because they inmediatly dropped what they where holding and rushed towards my bed to try and hug me. I didn't know who reached me first but I felt two paires of arms around me while I sobbed against my hand.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I-I ruined everything!" I cried out.
"Taengoo, don't even say that. The only thing you should be sorry about is worrying us." Tiffany's voice said in my ear. I shouldn't be suprised that she was the first one to reach me. We knew each other the longest.
"Don't ever do that to us again!" A small voice still full of Aegyo said in my other ear. Sunny. My strong little Sunny was crying. It hurt my heart even more then it allready did.
"Unnie. You made us worry so much." Someone said while taking hold of my free hand, giving a comforting pinch in it. It was Sooyoung. I was suprised actually. She barely called me unnie.
I rubbed the tears away that where staining my cheeks and looked up at all eight of them standing around my bed. I smiledat them, even though it was a sad smile.
"Unnie... I... we where so scared. The docter said you had a heartattack... is it true?" Seoyun asked while whiping away a tear.
I nodded.
"They... they said I have a heart condition." I said.
"How did you get it?" Yuri asked while trying hard not to cry.
"Appearently... it's something I was born with." I answered.
"Are you gonna... you know." Jessica asked, bitting her fingernail.
"Aniyo. I need more then that to prevent me from harrasing you girls." I said to lighten the mood. If it was going to get more depressing I was going to cry again and I didn't want my dongsaegs to see more tears from me.
They laughed weakly because of my small joke. I felt lighter inmediately.
"Girls. Didn't you bring gifts for Taeyeon?" Our manager suddenly said to change the subject.
"Right. Everyone at the company gave us presents for you, Taengoo." Hyoyeon said while franticly rubbing at her eyes.
"Chincha?" I asked, suprised.
"Offcourse! Where all family!" Hyoyeon said as she, Yuri and Sooyoung each went to fetch a bag and carefully placed it on my lap. Both Tiffany and Sunny, who where to stuborn to leave my side, helped me unwrap the gifts because I still was to weak.
After an hour of unwrapping, reading cards, joking around and somem more stuborn tears, my room was littered with stuffed toys, reading material, pocket games to keep me bussy by myself or to entertain guests and other stuff. I even got a PSP which SuJu bought for allong with some games.
"Everyone wanted to visit but because the docters said that nine was enough for one day they said they would come allong later." Yoona said, holding on to a Kerero that Seohyun had brought allong for me.
I was about to burst into tears again when the docter came in, suprised at the sudden gift explosion in the room.
"Well somebody had a lot of gifts." He commented, eyeing the bouquete of balloons I got from SooMan himself.
"These are only from the company. Wait till the fans start sending stuff." Sunny said.
"Well I have to ask you all to refrain from bringing them here. It would get to crouded in here that way." The docter said while checking his watch. Our manager did as well and noticed how late it had gotted.
"Girls. I have to disapoint you but I have to take you home. Visiting hours are over and you have schedules tomorow." He said, waiting for the girls to rebuce but suprise was written over his face when he got a nod from all of them.
"We can come back after our schedules right?" Tiffany asked with a pout.
"Offcourse. I'll bring you myself." Our now smiling manager said. The girls sighed in relief and one by one came towards me to give me a hug. When they had left, the docter smiled at me.
"I always say 'The bigger the family, the stronger the heart'." He said, checking the equipment attached to me and writing something down in his clipboard.
"I think your right." I said with a smile.
"Well miss Kim I advise that you sleep now. You had a busy day and you need your rest." The docter said before he left my room and closed the door behind him.
I sighed when I was left all alone in my room. The wise thing probably was to follow his advice but I felt lonely now that the girls I left. I grabbed my cellphone from the small table next to my bad, which the girls had brought with them, and started it. As soon as I had entered my code and reached the main screan, I was welcomed by a flood of text messages and missed calls. I ignored them for now because there where still two people I had to call.
I first called my mother. She probably was worried sick and I was right. The phone conversation took a whole hour with her, my father and my siblings together on speaker at there side. It ended with all of them promising to come visit me the next day. When I checked the time it was still 9 o' clock at night so I thought the other person I wanted to call would still be awake. I dialed his number and again didn't have to wait long before someone picked up.
"Taeyeon?" He sounded frantic.
"Yes, it's me. Annyong haseyo." I said with a little smile.
"Annyong. You don't know how worried I was when Fany called and told me the news." He sighed with relief.
"I'm fine now Teukkie. Don't worry." I said.
"Taengoo, I alway's get worried when I hear bad news about my dongsaengs. Especially you." Leeteuk said, sounding worried now.
"Mianhamnida for making you worry then." I said.
"Aniyo, don't say that. Now your making me feel bad." I could hear him smiling now.
"Kekeke. that's my Teukkie. I can just hear your dimple appearing from here." I joked.
"Aish. What am I doing to do with you." He sighed more to himself then to me.
"I think you would be thankfull then because I got you addicted to Jelly and Ice-cream." We laughed but then I stopped suddenly because my chest ached from the movement.
"Are you okay?" He asked, worried again.
"I shouldn't laugh so much. It hurts." I mumbled while rubbing over my sore chest.
"Taengoo. Maybe I should come back..."
"No," I interupted "You just got in the army two months ago. What would they think at the base."
"But..."
"No buts, Park Jungsu. We promised we whouldn't be official yet until you came back and I'm expecting from you too keep that promise. Think about what the media would say! 'Leeteuk, SuJu's leader, suddenly comes back from the military to visit his dongsaeng.' It would be a media horror for SM and especially Soshi and Suju. Come visit me when you are on leave. Okay?" I asked, staying stuborn.
 "That still takes a half year." He mumbled on the other line.
"Aish you sound like a kid." I mocked which made him chuckle.
"Taengoo. I have to go, okay? I have an early day tomorow. But I'll call you in the afternoon. Araso?" He said.
"Araso." I said.
"Saranghae, Taeyeon. Anyeong." He said after an other sigh.
"Saranghaeyo, Teukkie. Anyeong." I replied before I ended the call.
I didn't take long to fall asleep after that with my family, SM-family and my unofficial boyfriend in mind.