Day 31

Daehyun lay sound asleep in my hammock for the rest of the day as I made small drawings in the sand. Ever since we found Sandy’s corpse, Daehyun had been sleeping away his sorrow.

He hadn’t eaten or drank anything for the whole day; neither did he speak a word to me. At night, when Daehyun was making no signs of movement, I leapt off to the far end of the island and cremated her.

Assuming he wouldn’t be able to bring himself forth to do it with me, I did it myself and sent her ashes into the sea, where she now belonged.

I stayed up beside Daehyun for the rest of the night, watching over him as he cried and stirred every so often in his sleep.

It hurt to see him this way.

So lost, and so depleted. In an attempt to comfort him, I wound my tiny arms around his large muscular ones and awkwardly nestled my chin against his shoulder as he slept, watching his every sob and tear as they seeped through the corners of his eyes.

His lips were dry and cracked, gently parted as he released small, shallow breaths into the cool midnight air. I felt so bad for him, but there wasn’t much I could do about it apart from empathise.

When the sun rose the next morning, I woke up alone next to nobody.

Alarmed, I jumped out of the shelter and began to call for Daehyun, praying to God he didn’t go and do anything stupid.

Just as I reached the fall I spotted the male trotting across the bridge with a solemn look painted across his features. He gradually approached me and furrowed his brows together in question.

“Did you…send her?” he softly asked, his eyes glinting from moisture.

I nodded meekly and chewed the inside of my cheek. I hadn’t asked for his permission and neither did I consider his reaction.

My worries were instantly swept away when Daehyun forced a smile and brought me into his arms, pressing his nose into my hair, whispering a soft “Thank you. I wouldn’t have been able to do it.”

Releasing a breath of relief, I pulled away from Daehyun and watched as he disappeared between the trees before following him shortly afterwards.

Daehyun emerged at the beach, gathering some pebbles within his palms before trekking towards the shoreline. One by one, he tossed the pebbles into the water and watched as they bounced along the surface before losing their energy and sinking towards the seabed.

He was quiet. A quiet that was sad, and lonely.

Full of emotional hurt and distress however he repulsed himself from showing any of the signs.

Daehyun threw the last pebble into the sea and remained still, looking out at the golden horizon in deep thought.

Was he considering home? Being back on the waves and heading back to Busan?

Or was he just debating his next moves?

His next words?

Swallowing thickly, I walked up towards his back and nimbly wrapped my arms around his torso, resting my cheeks against his back. Daehyun stayed still, leaving his arms to dangle lifelessly at his sides.

He looked down at my right hand holding onto my left wrist against his stomach and gently pried them apart, moving them back towards me.

Didn’t he want empathy? Reassuring affection?

I brought my hands back to myself and picked on my nails nervously as Daehyun walked away, towards his shelter. I wiped away the sticky feeling of the humid air against my arms and trailed after, refusing to leave him alone.

I didn’t want him to put himself in any trouble…I wanted to be there for him no matter what. He was the only one I can to hold onto right now…and the same goes for him. I’m the only supportive being with him on this island, so he can’t push me away.

He shouldn't...right?

“Daehyun…are you hungry?” I ask, running my fingers against a branch.

“No.” he straightforwardly replies, continuing through the forest of palm trees and shrubs.

“You haven’t eaten anything for a whole day…” I try, tiptoeing behind his brisk attempt to get to wherever. “Daehyun-”

“Leave me alone Youngjae.” He snaps, allowing a branch to fall and almost smack me in the face. I push the branch away and halt helplessly, listening obediently to his words.

I didn’t want to annoy him and drag him to the edge of insanity by constantly lingering on his tail.

I stepped back and allowed the branch to fall back into place before nodding to the view of his back.

…Maybe I should just give him his space?

~*~