Day 9

I was beginning to feel a bit homesick.

From the city smog to the fresh smell of my mothers cooking, I had been experiencing stark cravings to arrive back home and indulge within the small elements that made me feel complacent.

The midnight showers, the evenings filled with productive revision and unhealthy snacks. The constant check of my mobile phone to the unfathomable concentration I held within my classes.

I was missing it all.

Don’t misunderstand, but I love being on the island. The freedom and the summery season all year round was something completely indescribable and unique.

The inhalation of fresh air had been so much more pleasant than the frequent sulphur and carbon polluting the air I’ve been brought up to breath.

Leaving the island would be a tragedy, but being home would still ignite that same spark of jubilation- of belonging.

I could only imagine the grief my parents must be going through right now as I rest here unharmed on this island, sheltered and looked after by a certain male I call the Island boy.

They must think I’m dead.

My school must be holding their breath until they receive the affirmation on whether Jaehwan and I are dead or alive. They’ll decidedly hold a short ceremony in respects to the death of Jaehwan and would secretly rain their cloud of pity upon my inept skull.

I could only imagine the looks of taunt and abhorrence received by the teachers for not saving the innocent soul, or the looks of empathy after dwelling on the possible trauma I could’ve endured by some.

If I were to return, there could only be so many possibilities as to what I’d have to face. Luck- or none at all.

All I wanted was to see my parents and to hold them both in my arms, repeating ‘I’m okay, I’m alive” over and over until their tears begin to drip from my clothing.

I sincerely miss them, and my brother. I’d have so much to tell but so little confidence in proceeding due to the misfortune I had to go through.

Would they be disappointed in me?

Would this undiscovered island ever be discovered in order to bring me back home? It seemed likely.

Of course, Mr Lee would pay big money in order to send off hundreds of search parties to find his only son, only to attain a disgusting outcome.

I dreaded everything.

I dread going back home, yet at the same time, I’d be very charged to do so if I’d been found. Depending on how long it’d take for me to be located, would depend on how much I’d miss the Island boy.  

I’m aware that the longer I stay, the tighter the knot between us will become. He means nothing to me apart from being my saviour but he does deserve a fair share of my consideration.

After all, I am the only friend he has on this island (Sandy not included). And not only that but he has brought me so much happiness in the space of 8 days.

Lying under the blinking white stars, I relaxed my shoulders and slowly closed my eyes, relishing the cold night air as it tasted my skin.

Daehyun came beside me after a while, resting both hands behind his head and staring up at the sky. He didn’t say anything.

All I could hear was his subtle breaths and see the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

I think he knew what I was thinking.

He knew my thoughts and my silent desire to be back at home beneath my warm duvet.

He has probably been through this dozens of times- sitting under the stars and counting all the things he would want to be doing if he were to be at home. He probably missed many aspects of his old life, despite being able to outweigh the goods of the island.

He must’ve procrastinated many times as to whether he preferred it here, or there.

I looked over at him and traced my gaze over the sharp contours of his side profile. With a face and body like that, Daehyun could receive anything he wanted with just the use of words or possibly the simple curve of a smile.

Why did he choose to stay here?

Was living back home really that bad?

Come to think of it, I hardly knew anything about Daehyun. His explanations were vague and his personality was so transparent. He had nothing to hide, nothing to lose, nothing to gain, simply nothing.

5 years had been enough to a person dry of their considered ‘normal’ routine.

It must be so easy being an Island boy, with no priorities, no worries, no duties, no demands or rules.

If only I could trade my life with his and see what it’d be like to simply live freely, without anyone at your throat force-feeding you prerogatives or responsibilities.

Pressing down the thoughts, I turned my attention back to the dark cloak of the sky and sealed my eyes shut, hoping to evacuate from the tension and to sink into a different diversity.

~*~