Dear Diary…

I’m back again.. it’s been days since I last shared you anything. Something important happened, something that I was waiting for, something I know if you are alive and breathing, you’d want it to happen too…

Dear Diary…

From everyone, you’re the one who suffered the most with me. All those nights I spent on crying my heart out to you, all those nights I miss him and my heart broke, you were the one to handle it all…

Dear Diary…

Now after what happened, we can both smile, we can enjoy life with its beauty.

Both of us, I promise, I’ll try to be happy and make us smile…

Dear Diary…

I’m sure you know by now what happened and yes.. I met him… Finally I faced my biggest fear, my biggest source of sadness but also the only person who make me feel this way…

Feel like butterflies dancing in my stomach when he eyes me, the way he look at me makes me melt over and over again and when he calls my name… ‘Minseok.. Kim Minseok’.. Oh God, I feel like dying, he’s killing me with his voice that I can’t even respond, I become speechless just when I hear him call my name, hehehehe I know, I’m so cheesy, you’re not used to all this fluff, but what can I do.. that’s how I feel right now…

Ok, enough of all this cheesiness…

Dear Diary…

Seeing Luhan and meeting him after he left made me think about a lot of things. I was nervous at first and had lots of thoughts… would he forgive me? And if he did, does he really forgive me?

Thoughts like, I don’t deserve this.. I don’t deserve his hugs and kisses.. I don’t deserve his smiles… I don’t deserve his passionate words for me… I don’t deserve anything…

But then…

I started thinking in the other way… maybe all of this happened for a reason… didn’t it?

Maybe God is testing our love, testing us?

Maybe if we stayed together that time something bad will happen and make us apart…

Maybe it was really the best for me and Luhan to be apart…

Then… if it’s really that way…

Shouldn’t I accept it all?

That what I was doing after meeting Luhan. I kept in thinking and