Luhan - Our Tomorrow

The glass shattered on the linoleum floor as an angry Luhan stormed out of the room. It sprayed along the tiles and wedged itself underneath my toes, like twinkling crystals in the night. I stooped down to pick up a shard. Holding the piece between my thumb and index finger, it bit into my skin, causing a thin line of red to flow.

The reason for his sudden outburst was due to the fact that he discovered the secret I've kept hidden from him for quite some time. During college application season, we had promised to apply exclusively to local universities in order to be near our families and obviously each other, however, I deliberately broke this promise. Instead, I applied to universities all a great distance away from home, and had just received an acceptance letter from the very top of my list.

Initially, Luhan was ecstatic upon reading the wrinkled paper, then confused. "Why didn't you ever tell me you wanted to go to this school? I would have enrolled with you in a heartbeat if I knew."

"That's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you going with me."

"Why? Are you afraid of a little competition," he asked bemusedly, but I saw how uneasy he really was.

In actuality, Luhan was scared. He was fearful of knowing the truth, of getting hurt, because he knew how I already felt. He knew upon entering high school I had placed him on a pedestal like some sacred object, because all of our classmates were doing so as well. And for the past four years, he was trying so desperately to stop my disillusionment, however, it produced the opposite effect; it widened the gap between us. And I felt like a terrible person for dropping this bomb on him, but I needed to keep him as safe as possible. And the only way to accomplish that was to keep him far, far away from me.

With a lump growing in my throat and a horrible aching in my chest, I managed to speak. "It's because I can't stand being near you any longer."

"What?"

"I said, 'I can't stand being near you any longer'."

He blinked, then opened his mouth. "I-I heard that. I meant more like... why?"

My throat felt constricted. I never wanted to hurt him, but oh how the tables have turned now. I was lying through my teeth. "My dad said—"

"Bull. Your dad has nothing to do with it. I know you know he's always wanted us both to go to college together." He crossed his arms. "What's the real reason?"

"I..." Out with the truth. "I just thought it would be better for the both of us. This way, I won't be able to hurt you anymore and you'll be able to strive for bigger and better things. We can finally get away from each other. Isn't that a good thing?"

"Bull," he called again. "Did those s at school tell you that? That you're hurting me? 'Cause if they did..."

I shouted, "They didn't tell me anything! It's the truth. This way I won't be able to hurt you. You'll stay pure! Clean! I'm too dark as it is already, and the only thing that would come of me staying here is that I'll end up staining you as black as coal."

"What are you talking about? When did you ever hurt me?"

I heaved a sigh. "I'm a liar, Luhan. I'm always lying to you."

"Yeah, but you don't mean any harm by it. The things you say hardly hurt."

"But they're hurting you now, aren't they?" I raised my head to look into his eyes, those clear brown orbs I could practically drown in.

"I don't understand! Why—"

"Just go, Luhan. Just leave. You'll thank me later when all of this is over."

Thinking back now, I think Luhan tossed that cup to the floor because he needed something to physically take out his anger on. He was frustrated and confused, and all the pent up energy needed an outlet. I just wished that he hadn't taken it out on my mother's cup. But it's okay I guess, everything can always be replaced.

Once I picked up all the broken pieces, I tugged on my sneakers and trailed after Luhan. It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday and the only place I could think of that he would run off to was the neighborhood park. It was more nature than a c