A/N: Hi! It’s me, back for your once-a-year update!

Just kidding. Sort of.

No recap this time because this chapter is a partial recap~ I hope you enjoy the new perspective. Don’t get too annoyed with me okay, ‘cause I did put in some new content to setup for the last two arcs…

---

He couldn’t help but be worried - though he knew he could never let the concern show outwardly. But it seemed like his fears were justified seeing how Chanyeol was nearly out of his mind with fever when they returned back to the flat.

Forcing him to board a plane in his condition was risky, he knew, but Baekhyun couldn’t stand another second in New York - couldn’t shake the tingling in his spine when he thought of being in proximity with Kibum any longer. So instead, they moved their flight a day forward, handsomely paid off some workers to let their incoherent and nearly unconscious friend onto their flight, and took off.

Tao had force fed Chanyeol some drowsy-inducing cold medicine, so by the time they were in the sky, he was entirely out of it. He only woke up on the occasion that Tao shook his shoulders and persuaded him to drink some water and eat a few crackers.

It may not have been something he’d have picked up on before his talk with Chanyeol the night before, but Baekhyun couldn’t help but notice the way Tao sighed with exhaustion, his dark circles significantly more red and swollen than usual. Coupled with the way he had chosen a seat far across the cabin from Kris and how he was staring down Chanyeol as if he needed something to concentrate on, Baekhyun knew that something was wrong.  The first thing he vowed to do when he got back was talk to the other about it, because aside from the fact that discord within his team would disrupt its function, Tao was his friend - right?

For now, he unbuckled his seatbelt and crossed the aisle to the other, shaking him from his reverie.

“Go to sleep,” he commanded almost sternly.

Tao opened his mouth to protest weakly, his eyes darting over to where Chanyeol was sitting in front of him. But Baekhyun cut him off.

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” he said. “You know, I probably won’t sleep anyway and I need something to do. You, on the other hand, need a good night’s sleep… so you can keep an eye on me.”

Baekhyun squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and Tao stared back at him, seemingly unable to form words. Baekhyun could swear in that instance that Tao was able to read his mind, to sense that Baekhyun was trying to do something nice for him for once, and he silently acquiesced with a nod. So Baekhyun quietly grabbed a blanket from the overhead compartment and handed it to the other before walking back to his seat. He could feel Tao’s burning and questioning stare on his shoulders for a few minutes before he finally shut his eyes and turned to the window, and Baekhyun breathed a sigh of relief.

Every now and then he glanced over at Chanyeol, his eyes lingering a little too long on his sweeping eyelashes, or the curve of his lips. Why was it that he’d been with so many different men but it was his lips that had lingered like a ghost on his skin? Without even trying, he was so easily able to recall their feel, the softness.

He shook his head, physically willing his intrusive and unwelcome thoughts to fly away, but only for a moment. The next, he was thinking about the night before, how as he’d quaked with fear like a child under his blankets, Chanyeol had called out to him, had settled into the bed next to him. And even though he could feel the other shivering from the wet and cold, he had chosen to stay with him when Baekhyun had asked.

They had fought, that much was true. But to his surprise it was Baekhyun who had had his feelings hurt. It was Baekhyun who’d had his confidence shattered. He supposed there was a first time for everything.

Despite everything that he’d said, done, Chanyeol had come back to apologize to him like Baekhyun hadn’t deserved every word of it in the first place. He had the nerve to say that he was sorry for thinking wrongly of Baekhyun - to act like he was the one at fault while the man who had tormented him listened silently.

His confession had broken something in Baekhyun that night, a floodgate of feelings he didn’t know how to stop or control. And when they destroyed all the walls he’d built up, he was left with the echoing, thundering footsteps of Chanyeol running through his mind.

He had said that beyond all comprehension he was attracted to Baekhyun, and it shouldn’t have but the thought alone had made something in Baekhyun’s chest stir with something like anticipation. Anticipation for what, he didn’t know. But he felt it crash over him all the same.

He was left with an uncomfortable tingling and warmth in his chest even when the plane touched down in Incheon, through the ride to Chanyeol’s house, and it lingered until Kris carried Chanyeol’s near lifeless body up to his apartment. Then, sudden hollowness.

He felt it deep inside him, like a light that had always been there suddenly went out. But he couldn’t put a name to the feeling right away, not until his cousin put it into perspective.

It was not often that he paid visits to Minseok’s shop, except for the few and far between matters where he had to deal with his cousin’s drug habit personally. (He was a bloody doctor for Christ’s sake, he should know better than to get high all the time.) But Jongdae had called him over and with nothing better to do he agreed.

He found the latter sitting on an unoccupied tattooing table, swinging his legs back and forth and swigging from what Baekhyun assumed was about a forty of malt liquor. He raised his eyebrows and tossed his coat onto the front counter. Jongdae merely raised his bottle in greeting. Neither acknowledged the fact that there was a person lying facedown on a table between them, nor that Minseok was currently inking a complicated geommetrical design into his shoulder.

Jongdae gestured with his unoccupied hand to the backroom. “There’s another forty in the mini fridge if you want it.”

He slurred on his words, and judging by his speech alone Baekhyun could bet he’d already drained over half his own bottle. Half deciding that he actually wanted it and half to spare his friend from losing his mind completely, Baekhyun grabbed the bottle for himself.

When he returned, he leaned into the wall and took a long sip of the bitter malt before asking, “What’s eating you?”

Jongdae grimaced as Baekhyun knew he would when he didn’t want to talk about his feelings. But luckily enough, the quieter of the party spoke up for him.

“He’s just cranky ‘cause it’s Junmyeon and Yi Xing’s third anniversary,” Minseok explained without looking up or stopping. “He gets this way every year.”

“Oh, right.”

Jongdae nearly spit. “I can’t help it. They’re unbearable on a normal day but around this time it get’s worse tenfold - like, every day this week. And this is the one time of the year I actually have to spend time in Junmyeon’s office. They’re always sitting in each other’s laps or holding hands or something. Just what about filing taxes is so ing romantic, huh? It makes me sick.”

From what little Baekhyun could see of the face of the man on the table he was either cringing at the needles in his back or at Jongdae’s rampage, and Baekhyun would put money on the latter. While The Puppeteer stomped around the room, rampaging in his supreme jealousy, Minseok wiped his hands and helped the man sit up. He rang him up, instructed him to come back soon for his last session, and returned to his seat all before Jongdae had finished venting.

Baekhyun had admittedly zoned out halfway through. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t hear these same complaints every other day. He was sure Minseok was doing the same. If Baekhyun didn’t like hearing his closest friend complain about not being able to Baekhyun’s cousin, he was sure it was a hundred times worse from the perspective of his little brother.

It was finally to that point of the conversation where Minseok would usually step in when he got this way, tell Jongdae he’d said enough and probably punch his arm for good measure. Surprisingly, he remained quiet.

Instead, Baekhyun interjected pointedly to cut him off. “Nothing, Minseok? You have nothing to say right now? What’s eating you?”

Again, it was the other who answered for him. “He says he’s just lonely,” slurred Jongdae, slumping into the chair next to Minseok. “His girlfriend broke up with him. She moved to London for work.”

“Girlfriend? Oh, hang on… Jiyeon? Jihee?”

“Jisoo,” Minseok corrected with a roll of his eyes. “And hell yeah I’m lonely. At least I can admit it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Jongdae indignantly. But Minseok met his gaze with a pointed raise of his eyebrows and he acquiesced. He raised his hands defensively and admitted mockingly, “Fine, fine. I’m lonely.”

“Lonely and jealous, but we all knew that,” Baekhyun laughed and took a swig of his liquor. By the time he’d lowered the bottle the other two were staring at him expectantly. He narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“It’s just…. Nothing,” said Minseok quickly.

Jongdae elbowed him in the ribs and stared straight back at Baekhyun. He never was easily intimidated by the other. “It’s just that you look the same, Baek. We kind of expected you to join in our wallowing.”

“What?” he repeated.

“C’mon, Baek,” Jongdae drawled, looking exasperated. “It’s a Saturday night, there’s nothing to be done back at Junmyeon’s office or yours, and you’re wasting your free time here with us - heartbroken losers.”

“Jongdae says you’ve been stuck on that kid - what’s his name? - the one you brought on my boat.”

“What?” Baekhyun repeated for what felt like the hundredth time, nearly shouting. What the hell were they both driving at? The hollow spot in his chest ached as if in answer. “Are you implying… are you saying I miss Chanyeol? That I’m lonely?”

“Well, aren’t you?” asked Jongdae. “Baek, you haven’t called a single e to your apartment in weeks. I mean, knowing you…”

“I haven’t felt like it is all,” he said defensively, but his voice was weak.

“Just admit you’re waiting for him,” said Minseok, a hint of a smile on his face. “Who ever thought we’d see the day? Our baby Baekkie, our forever alone baby, finally willing to wait for someone.”

“If this is how you guys are going to be then I’m out of here,” he scowled.

Minseok and Jongdae shared a look before the latter chased after him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and pulling him back so that they were all seated on the chair together. “Aw, hey, don’t be like that.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes but sighed, slumping into the seat. “If I were hypothetically lonely, and or missing someone…. How would it feel?”

“Empty,” Jongdae answered simply. “Like living with a ghost.”

“Explain.”

It was Minseok who answered. “You never know how lonely you are until you’ve had a taste of someone else… and when they disappear, the spot feels empty - hollow.”

Hollow. The word echoed through Baekhyun’s chest, reverberating off of the empty spot that had dug a pit in the middle of his sternum. He dropped the bottle and let its contents spill onto the floor. None of them moved to pick it up.

Baekhyun’s ears were suddenly ringing.

The stomping in his head that he’d been trying so hard to quiet the last few days was intruding louder and louder into his thoughts. His pinky finger tingled - the warmth from that large hand from a few days ago echoing its touch. Just that small entanglement and he already wanted more. He remembered that night in Solutions, those big hands grasping and groping desperately over his suit. He wanted to feel them again, skin to skin. His thoughts became chaos, his brain rampant with thoughts of him.

“I have to go,” he said suddenly, jumping up from his spot.

“He’s at home,” Jongdae stated nonchalantly, scrolling through his phone.

“What?” asked Baekhyun incredulously, ignoring how Jongdae so easily read his mind. “How can you possibly know that so quickly?”

He shook his phone with a smug grin. “I keep tabs on him. On you all, actually. Helps in the event of a crisis.”

“On all of us?”

“Everyone except you, Baek. I know if I did you’d kill me. Besides, you’re always with Tao or Kris. You’re easy to find.”

“Ugh. Whatever.” He tromped toward the exit and grabbed his coat, signaling to his bodyguard waiting outside to start the car. He stopped just before he got out the door and turned back. He spoke quietly, the only sound he could manage small, “How can I be sure if it’s for real?”

“For you?” Minseok answered, his hand to his chin thoughtfully. Jongdae looked unnaturally serious. “Just think of how you’re feeling right now and ask yourself that same question. And for him… look into his eyes, Baek. People can’t lie with their eyes, and you’ve always been able to read people.”

He nodded and turned away.

“Go get em, Tiger!” he heard Jongdae yell before he got outside. He winced.

As the car pulled away from the curb Baekhyun’s fingers tingled - both resolution and nerve pulling him towards different directions. For the moment, resolution was winning. After they’d gotten a few streets away he instructed his driver to pull over and park in an covered alleyway.

“Daesung,” he asked, “can you check over there for a second?”

When the driver turned to the window Baekhyun reached forward and encircled his arms around his neck. Before his driver could decipher what was actually happening and struggle, he was unconscious. He thought about what Jongdae had said earlier. There was no reason for anyone to keep tabs on him right now - not when even he wasn’t sure what he was doing.

From the street, Baekhyun hailed a cab and caught a ride over the river to a familiar apartment - one he’d only been inside once, months ago.

At the top of the stairs he lost his nerve again, wishing he’d brought along the rest of that forty for some liquid courage. He found himself wavering - so unlike his usual self - between pounding down the door and jumping Chanyeol’s bones or turning tail and pretending nothing had ever happened.

If he could just look in his eyes, read Chanyeol’s expression right now, maybe he’d feel better. After all, they were friends now, right? What could knocking on his door hurt? And if worse came to worse, he could just pretend there was something he needed him for - bodyguard stuff.

Before he could talk himself out of it further, his knuckles rapped on the door. Not even half a minute later, it swung wide open.

Chanyeol was staring back at him with wide eyes, and he could sure he was returning the same astonished gaze. Was he out of his mind or was Chanyeol glowing? It was like a beam of light had wrapped itself around his body, and the effect was hypnotizing. The moment lasted much longer than he would have liked, and neither of them said a thing to the other. Suddenly, Baekhyun felt very small, very unlike himself, and his hands wrung with nervousness.

Mentally, he slapped himself, reminded himself why he was there in the first place. He took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to remember what he usually looked like. He steeled his expression to become a mask of indifferent coolness, and with that he gave the other a final, pointed look.

Chanyeol wordlessly stepped to the side and invited him in.

---

When the doorbell rung and interrupted them, the electricity in the air pulsed through Baekhyun’s veins heavily. He’d been so close to getting what he wanted. He could admit, he was glad for the small reprieve of atmosphere, but also annoyed. Who knows where they would be now if not for the interruption. From how thick the palpable between them was at the moment he briefly imagined they’d probably be making out by now at least - something he was not exactly against.

He followed Chanyeol to the door, eager to see whoever thought they were so important they could barge in on his time. But when Chanyeol reached for the door, something in his gut told him he would not like what he saw on the other side. He was right.

He couldn’t help it when his smile faltered upon seeing her.

She had been beautiful in the pictures he’d seen - the ones Jongdae had somehow procured - but in real life she was stunning. Hani - his girlfriend.

“Hani!?” Chanyeol cried out, and Baekhyun knew he couldn’t fake that shock. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I was invited,” she drawled, clearly unfazed by Chanyeol’s incredulous expression.

Baekhyun scowled. If he didn’t already hate her, he would have started to just then after seeing her fake unaffected attitude. Her false sense of confidence made his skin crawl. He had the sudden urge to crush it.

Chanyeol stuttered, “I didn’t-… We broke up.”

Chanyeol looked between her and back to Baekhyun, and it made Baekhyun’s heart ache a little bit and want to laugh a little at the same time. The other was clearly concerned about what he was thinking about all of this, and despite her being his ex-girlfriend, he obviously didn’t want to give Baekhyun the wrong impression.

“Not by you,” the girl clarified harshly. Then she finally looked at Baekhyun. “And who is this?”

By then, he’d already schooled his face back into an unaffected stare, but the way she grimaced at him made Baekhyun mimic the expression. She was clearly cleverer than she let on, and he knew that she knew that there was something going on between them. But despite that, her outward confidence never wavered, and Baekhyun had to give her credit for that at least.

He would remember that when he brought her down.

He would remember the look in Chanyeol’s eyes as he begged him to stay through what would surely be an awkward dinner. And he knew that it wasn’t Chanyeol’s fault that he was feeling this way, that the ugly green thing inside of him was rearing its head. But he was sure going to make it his problem.

Chanyeol would regret asking him to stay, regret forcing him to look his ex-girlfriend in the eyes. He would regret being the one to make Baekhyun feel this way.

---

Chanyeol had punched him square in the jaw. Chanyeol… had punched him… Right. In. The. Face.

Baekhyun nearly bypassed surprise in its entirety as he was quickly enveloped by rage. He could feel his own eyes burning and his mouth nearly foaming as he stared back at Chanyeol. The other returned his stare defiantly, but Baekhyun couldn’t read his true expression under his mask of anger.

He had been made a soldier at a young age, had learned the hard way what it was like to attack and be attacked. And even now, he could only act on instinct.

So he punched Chanyeol right in the eye.

He barely had time to remember that Chanyeol was trained now - trained by his top fighters no less- as the guy lunged for his middle. Baekhyun turned his body from the door as the man pushed them towards the center of the room, gripping his shirt. He could see from Chanyeol’s eyes that the man wasn’t using his head right now, was acting on blind emotion - but for what reason Baekhyun could only vaguely guess.

He focused instead on turning the tide of the fight. He aimed a head- for Chanyeol’s face and narrowly missed, but pulled the other backward as he tried to escape the steady grip on his shirt. He stepped backward with the intention of turning his body around. If he could only maneuver his hips a bit, he might be able to use Chanyeol’s weight against him and throw him to the floor. Except-

The furniture - , he thought as the back of his thighs collided with the dinner table. He was able to use the momentum anyway and swung himself around as Chanyeol’s back hit the floor and the dinnerware shattered around them.

Baekhyun quickly sat on him, pinning him down, and cocked his fist again. But just as he made his move something in Chanyeol froze.

The other was staring up at him serenely, mouth agape and face flushed - his eye beginning to swell and bruise already from Baekhyun’s swift hit. But even though Baekhyun was poised to hit him again. He didn’t make a move against him, or even to protect himself. He only stared.

Then the weirdest thing of all happened. He laughed.

It started slow at first, a quiet chuckle, and then turned into full-blown, gut-wrenching laughter. Baekhyun could feel his whole body quaking underneath him and he had the sudden urge to just continue on and punch him in his perfect white teeth - just to knock some sense into him.

“What the hell?” he muttered and dropped his hand to Chanyeol’s collar. “What the hell is so funny?”

In a flash, Chanyeol grabbed his collar and pulled him down. Thrown off by the laughter, Baekhyun was unable to react until it was too late. He tensed, shutting his eyes and waiting for his nose to inevitably break as his face was smashed in.

But the hit never came. Instead, he felt those soft lips he’d been dreaming about the last few days press into his own. His eyes sprung open in shock, and he dropped his own hold on Chanyeol’s collar.

Is he out of his goddamn mind? He thought in confusion as the other opened his eyes to peek at him. His body reacted differently, lips moving in time with the other’s. He tried to will himself to refuse him but gave in quickly and easily, especially when Chanyeol’s parted lips traced a tongue along his mouth. He gasped and when the other took the opportunity to deepen the kiss he was a goner.

He pushed Chanyeol back onto the floor, and now that they were no longer fighting he shifted himself so that they were lying more comfortably together. Chanyeol’s hand unabashedly roamed his sides and back until with a soft push forward he flipped them over, cradling Baekhyun’s head until it gently came to rest upon the floor.

Then abruptly he stopped.

He framed Baekhyun’s head with his forearms then rested until they were nearly nose-to-nose and Baekhyun could see the constellations in his eyes. They were sparkling so brightly that he was suddenly reminded of the night on the boat when he couldn’t sleep. He drank him in, absorbing the features he’d always admired but had never taken the time to praise properly - long eyelashes framing deep pools of black irises, the lone and prominent chestnut freckle on his nose, the smooth curve of his cupid’s bow above cherry-red, plush lips.

His warm breath ghosted over Baekhyun’s cheek, and Baekhyun was very nearly overwhelmed at the rush of his feelings.