It's 1:26 AM and the mattress is an ocean of pillows and blankets- a vast space wherein you feel so small and so lonely. You curl up in the corner, clutching a pillow so that you can hold onto something as you drift off into sleep in a bed too big. It's 1:26 AM and you've never felt so alone.

    The hands on the clock tell you that it's 3:15 AM and you toss and turn, unable to lose consciousness. In the silence, you can hear every tick of the clock, every chirp of crickets, every car that drives by for some reason at this godforsaken hour and even though you don't have work tomorrow, sleep would be a great thing to find right now. It's 3:54 AM when your brain finally turns off for what you hope to be the rest of the night.

    One hour. There is one hour that passes through the quiet stillness in which you actually get some sleep. But now it's 5 AM and there is nothing in the world that you want more than to sleep for a good week or so, uninterrupted. The bed is cold and you reach out one arm longingly to the other side, wondering when you'll be able to feel him next to you again. Five days ago, he said he'd be home soon. Soon. When is soon? Tears well up in your eyes and they slip down onto your pillow until your body finds rest at an exhausting 5:37 AM
    
    You find that the morning is forgiving. At 9:43 AM, there are strips of sunlight shining through the curtains and you aren't curled up in the corner of the mattress. A familiar warmth is pressed to your back and your body floods with relief because he's home. 
    Namjoon is already awake when you turn in his arms to face him. The sleepy smile on his face makes your heart melt and you smile back, reaching out to cup his cheek. "Did you sleep well?" he asks, leaning into your touch.
    You bite your lip and sigh, unable to lie to him. "Not really, no." The smile slides off his face and you curse silently as he casts you a questioning look.
    "What time did you go to sleep last night?" He takes your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.
    "Around like one thirty... But I kept waking up every few hours." His frown deepens and you shake your head. "It's no big deal, it was just one late night. I'll catch up on sleep later. And anyway," you move your fingers so they're intertwined with his, "you're here now."
    He pulls you close and you breathe him in, the scent of him pulling you into relaxation. "You were lonely," he murmurs, the tone of his voice apologetic. "Why didn't you call or text me? I was still awake on the way home."
    You press your lips to his neck before you reply. "I thought you were sleeping. And I didn't want to be selfish and wake you up just because I was feeling lonely." His finger traces patterns on your back and god you've missed his touch.
    "Be selfish sometimes. I won't mind," he promises and he your hair, brushing it out of your face so he can see your eyes. Looking into his, you feel your heart lighten.
    "I missed you." Your voice is barely a whisper and he captures your lips with his. 
    "I missed you too." And you want to ask how long he's going to stay and what time he got home that morning and if he wants to sleep or eat and if you should make breakfast. But instead you kiss him again and push back the words and savor the moment because God only knows when you'll have another morning like this.
    He holds you in his arms for what you wish could be forever. There is peaceful quiet and the relaxed beating of hearts mixed with gentle caresses and the whisper of sweet nothings and you protect each moment with all you have because nothing in the world makes you happier than being with him.
    Namjoon's forehead is pressed to yours and in his eyes you see a world beyond anything you could ever have imagined. There is passion and love, love for you, and you swear that there is an entire universe of stars, of constellations, of bright, flickering lights in them. "Don't ever hesitate to call me if you're feeling lonely," he whispers after a while. And in response, you kiss his lips to show that you understand.
    You run your fingers through his messy blonde hair and take a deep breath, keeping yourself from getting emotional. Sitting up, you begin to get out of bed. "I should make breakfast. Do you want something sweet or-"
    You cut off when he grabs you around the waist and pulls you back down onto the bed, wrapping his arms around you and whispering, "The only sweet thing I want is you." 

    The clock reads 11:23 AM and you blush red because his cute words are all too sweet and you've never felt more loved in your entire life.

~4/7~