Myungsoo’s Pov.

The last two weeks, I often feel this weird feeling. I don't know why suddenly I would feel the sharp pain in my chest, but the feeling will disappear not quite long after it comes. But at other times I would feel a bad headache. I lost my appetite, or not even able to concentrate on my work. Even just a simple cooking ramen, I often make it burned.

It was weird though. I'm not even sad at the early time he left. I was still angry, upset, blaming at him. Maybe at that time, made him out of my life was the best decision. I thought that I could continue my life without him, but it turned out I was wrong.

Two weeks after he left me without words, I began to lose my direction. My work began abandoned, and it ended up with my retirement two months later from my first law firm, Sunggyu hyung immediately asked me to join in his law firm. Those months were the worst two months in my life. I kept asking myself the little questions, it was a constant fight to get through each day and night, it was a war between the present and the past and I seemed to keep losing track of time.

I lost my will to live in a normal life and I always thought  this is my punishment.

The last time I felt this weird feeling, was six months after Sungyeol left. 

Somehow, the last two weeks I experienced the same thing. Everything was repeated again.

Seemed something told me what I felt in six months after he left and these past two weeks, had something connected between me and him.  Even after my meeting with Mr.Choi two weeks ago, I didn't know how I ended up in front of the gate of the 306th Regiment Of The Reserve Force Battalion at Uijeongbu, Gyeonggi. Perhaps I was too carried away with my feelings, with the memories of picking him up when we had our free times during our military service.

I thought by those times that slipped through, the way I immersed myself into my work, I could forget him slowly. And I was wrong again, once again.

There were too many memories with my Yeollie.  It seemed every way that I went through, every place that I visited, in fact everyone I met, reminds me of him. To a place that is neither closed nor far, to a place that is neither high nor low, in a place I live the present life indeed always full of the memories, where a different me stands.

I slowly become an actor, a damn good actor. How I could live in two different worlds, to show everyone that I'm able to be a good lawyer, a successful lawyer... and I really prove it to everyone within the last three years. But at the same time I'm still drowning in my memories with him.

I was getting used to my sorrow and my tears, I began to enjoy every sick of this pain, I deserve to live a life like this. Though it seems stupid, but if I live my life in this pain, I always feel that we're always together. The pain that I want to let go but I couldn't, as if I'm nothing without this pain.

I walk at the