Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.

Arthur Miller

i.

It happened nearly two months after Luhan had left, Yixing stopped falling to pieces and started picking them up. It wasn’t like one day Yixing still missed Luhan and the next he didn’t, because he would never stop missing Luhan. He realized that and he had accepted it and he almost was glad, because that meant he had had something worth missing. But now Yixing started loving himself again. He started doing things that made him happy again, getting up early to watch the sun rise, playing the guitar late at night to fill the silences in the air. And he realized he didn’t need Luhan to be okay.

ii.

He went and apologized to his friends because he had been hurting, yes, but so had they and in his own pain he had ignored theirs. Suho squeezed his shoulder and smiled bright and wide. Kyungsoo gave him little nod and in his eyes Yixing saw forgiveness. Jongdae held him tight and close and whispered in his ear “I missed you.” Tao of course burst into tears. Yixing laughed and hugged him tight. It felt good to laugh again, to laugh without Luhan and Yixing thought he saw a brighter tomorrow.

iii.

Luhan had never stopped texting him. Yes it slowed. One a day became one a week but he had never stopped, he never gave up. Yixing had never sent one message back.  Yixing opened his phone to messages and tapped Luhan’s name. Slowly, carefully he typed out one word: Hello.