No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
C. S. Lewis

i.

Yixing knew Luhan was coming back. Because he knew that Luhan still needed EXO, still needed him.

ii.

Sometimes it felt like Luhan never left at all. Yixing would laugh at a joke and turn to Luhan to share it. He would find only quiet air. He would walk to his room to ask him a question about the new lyrics. And only emptiness greeted him. Luhan had been a part of his life in a thousand little ways and only now did he realize what it felt like to miss him. Because you don’t think about the air you’re breathing. Not until it’s gone.

iii.

Yixing waited each day for Luhan to call, to text, say that this was all a mistake. To say he was coming back. He never did. But Yixing waited every day. Because that was what Yixing did. Yixing was good at waiting. And at first Luhan did text, day after day he sent messages. I’m sorry, I miss you, how are things. On and on and Yixing didn’t reply to a single one. Because never once did Luhan say he was coming back. Because Luhan’s texts made it clear he was moving on, and Yixing wasn’t ready to let go just yet.